Author Topic: I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington!  (Read 403 times)

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Offline QuéOnda

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I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington!
« on: March 17, 2016, 11:47:07 AM »
Everybody! I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington! Here it is!




My very accurate report on George Washington
by QueOnda

   George Washington was a very good president. Why, you might ask? Well, just read on and find out.
   One day, a long time ago, George Washington went to the hospital. He was standing outside the nursery of a hospital where they keep all the
babies at when Pac-Man showed up. He was walking around, chomping like he does.  Everyone was like, “Hey, Pac-Man what's up?” Pac-Man then

proceeded to enter into the nursery, eat all the babies, and then just leave without saying a word. People then went into the nursery and saw that

all the babies were gone. Everyone was like, “Oh, no! Pac-Man just ate all the babies in the nursery!” They looked to General George Washington

and asked him, “What do we do now?” and Washington replied, “Well, let's go tell the hospital administrator.” They went to the hospital

administrator, and he was like, “What? Pac-Man ate all the babies in the nursery? Eating one or two I could understand. You get hungry or

whatever, but you mean that douche ate all the babies in the nursery?”, and so everyone asked the administrator, “What do we do now?”, and the

administrator replied, “Well, let's tell the parents of the babies that were eaten.”, and so they went and they told the parents of the babies that

Pac-Man had eaten all the babies, and the parents were like, “Oh, well! I guess that's just the way it goes, but could you maybe find us

replacement babies to take care of?” The hospital administrator said, “Well we need babies. We just need to get more babies. Let's call another

hospital and ask if they have any spare babies.”, and everyone was like, “Hey, yeah great idea!”, and George Washington proudly said, “I cannot

tell a lie. When Pac-Man eats all your babies, you have to go out and get new ones. Experience has taught me this.” so they did, and they asked

the other hospital if they had any spare babies, and the other hospital replied, “No, we don't have any babies at all. Pac-Man just came by and ate

all our babies!”, and so the administrator of the first hospital was like, “What? That's what happened here! Pac-Man is just going around, eating

people's babies!” George Washington then got word, “Yes, I've just got confirmation that all of the area hospitals are out of babies because has

been going around, eating them all!”  Everyone then turned to President George Washington for guidance, and at that, General Washington said,

“When Pac-Man goes around eating all the babies in all the hospitals in the area, you have to go to the baby store and buy more babies! Let's buy

more babies!”, and so everyone was like, “Oh, what a great idea!”, and they went to the baby store to buy more babies, but when they got there,

they had no babies, and the guy at the baby store was like, “We don't have any more babies! Pac-Man came and just ate them all! We were like,

'Pac-Man, you can't go around eating people's babies! Stop eating babies, but he just ate them all just the same.”, and so everyone was like, “Oh,

no! Pac-Man is going to eat all the babies!”; so everyone turned to George Washington for guidance and leadership. At this, the great General

Washington said, “At times of crisis like this, we've got to get Pac-Man to stop eating babies. I propose we get a poison baby and feed it to Pac-

Man. This will make him stop eating babies.”. So they went to a baby store in another town, got a baby, and put poison in it. They then gave it to

Pac-Man, who ate it. This made Pac-Man sick. Pac-Man then vomited all the babies he'd eaten into a big pile. General Washington then brought

the parents of the babies to the big pile. Some of the babies were alive, but some were dead. The administrator of the hospital said, “Come get

your baby here from the pile. If your baby died, we'll send you a new baby free of charge.”, and so to all the parents who had a dead baby, the

administrator put a new, fresh baby in a box, cut some breathing holes in the box, put in some packing material, and sent the families a new baby.

Everyone got a baby to take care of. Pac-Man stopped eating people's babies because George Washington fed him a poison baby.

   All in all, George Washington was a very good president because he got Pac-Man to stop eating people's babies, and my very accurate report

about George Washington is now over. Thank you.
"Share doubts, fears, and those questions that have no answers; for when it is genuine, when it is born of the need to speak, no one can stop the human voice. When it is denied a mouth, it speaks with the hands or the eyes, or the pores, or anything at all because every single one of us has something to say to others, something that deserves to be celebrated or forgiven by others"-Eduardo Galeano (1940-2015)

Offline Al Swearegen

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Re: I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington!
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2016, 01:50:41 PM »
I2 today is not i2 of yesteryear. It is a knitting circle. Those that participate be they nice or asshats know their place and the price to be there. Odeon is the overlord

.Benevolent if you toe the line.

Think it is I2 of old? Even Odeon is not so delusional as to think otherwise. He may on occasionally pretend otherwise but his base is that knitting circle.

Censoring/banning/restricting/moderating myself, Calanadale & Scrapheap were all not his finest moments.

How to apologise to Scrap

Offline 'andersom'

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Re: I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington!
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2016, 03:11:13 PM »
Home deliveries are safer.  :M
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!

Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington!
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2016, 09:03:32 PM »
I give you a C- because you write like instead of said before quotations.   :orly:
:gopher:

Offline QuéOnda

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Re: I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington!
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2016, 03:12:48 PM »
Home deliveries are safer.  :M

You get all your babies home delivered? They poke breathing holes on the top of the box and fill the box with packing material? Yeah, but babies sometimes get lost in the mail and then you have to order a new one. That's the bad thing.
"Share doubts, fears, and those questions that have no answers; for when it is genuine, when it is born of the need to speak, no one can stop the human voice. When it is denied a mouth, it speaks with the hands or the eyes, or the pores, or anything at all because every single one of us has something to say to others, something that deserves to be celebrated or forgiven by others"-Eduardo Galeano (1940-2015)

Offline Jack

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Re: I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington!
« Reply #5 on: March 18, 2016, 06:42:03 PM »
Sensing a posting trend, and perhaps a special interest related to dead babies. Jack recommends images from the Mutter Museum collection of medical oddities.

Offline 'Butterflies'

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Re: I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington!
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2016, 07:48:10 AM »
Eating babies is :viking:

Offline Arya Quinn

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Re: I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington!
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2016, 08:01:44 AM »
Eating babies is :viking:



You're starting to sound like a Tory.  :orly:

Offline Al Swearegen

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Re: I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington!
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2016, 08:05:18 AM »
How many babies do you get into a suitcase?

Depends how thinly you slice them.
I2 today is not i2 of yesteryear. It is a knitting circle. Those that participate be they nice or asshats know their place and the price to be there. Odeon is the overlord

.Benevolent if you toe the line.

Think it is I2 of old? Even Odeon is not so delusional as to think otherwise. He may on occasionally pretend otherwise but his base is that knitting circle.

Censoring/banning/restricting/moderating myself, Calanadale & Scrapheap were all not his finest moments.

How to apologise to Scrap

Offline 'Butterflies'

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Re: I wrote a very accurate report on George Washington!
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2016, 08:10:12 AM »
:heart: :pinkbeat: :heart: Jelly Babies

The only thing better than Jelly Babies, is Jelly Bellies :heart: :pinkbeat: :heart:

Jelly Bellies are one of my favourite things in the world :heart: :pinkbeat: :heart: