INTENSITY²
Start here => Games => Topic started by: El on September 19, 2009, 09:34:52 AM
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...the person above you in this thread, what would you say- in EXACTLY FIVE WORDS?
Since I'm starting and therefore nobody is above me, I'll just give an example of what I'd say if I woke up naked and alone:
'Oh god, I'm so lonely."
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"Open yer mouth, bitch! Suck!" 8)
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I'm not a stop sign!
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Who the fuck are you???
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five orgams, not bad eh?
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I wish I'd had one.
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What are you doing here?
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I wish I'd had one.
Only my pleasure counts
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What are you doing here?
did you wear a condom?
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FUCK I overdid the vodka :facepalm2:
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Oh my you are thin
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Where are my glasses?
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What are you doing here?
did you wear a condom?
do you have any STDs?
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no, i'm actually HIV positive
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Tell me this isn't real.
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yes it is certainly real :evillaugh:
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Are there two of you?
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How did I get here?
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Alltså seriöst, usch nej varför...
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No words, just this: :zombiefuck:
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will work for sex y/n?
or
i hope one of us is infertile
or
was i drunk?
:hanged: :facepalm2:
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and before someone jumps on me for not using 5 words in one sentence i only used 3. 7-2 is 5 so figure it out
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Anybody, help! I was raped :GA:
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Don't tell my wife okay.
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Don't tell my wife okay.
it's ok to be gay :thumbup:
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Anybody, help! I was raped :GA:
thats the best you'll get
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Don't tell my wife okay.
it's ok to be gay :thumbup:
depends where you are from
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are you good looking y/n?
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you're lying right next tome
:-\
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Captain obvious to the rescue!
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you just worked off 5lb
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Oh jesus. Fuck my life.
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Why hello there gorgeous :zoinks:
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Oh, hi. Right back atcha!
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Pics, now, please!
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...the person above you in this thread, what would you say- in EXACTLY FIVE WORDS?
Pics, now, please!
fail
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That wasn't 5 words, muppet :laugh:
My :zoinks: was included as a word 8)
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Ehhh.... hello. *looks awkwardly*
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My :zoinks: was included as a word 8)
Okay, I'll give you that one.
edited.
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Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape
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Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape
Push your ass up again.
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Please pull the trigger again
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Please pull the trigger again
Okay, grab the vaseline, baby.
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I meant the revolver trigger
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I meant the revolver trigger
Wanna revolve on my Trigger?
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I meant the revolver trigger
Wanna revolve on my Trigger?
As long as it's Trigger11 8)
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RU486 is in the nightstand
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why is my butt bleeding?
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And you name is...uh...
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my name is slim shady
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What have I fucking done? ??? :'( :zombiefuck: :hanged: :duh: :facepalm: :-[
I meant the revolver trigger
Wanna revolve on my Trigger?
As long as it's Trigger11 8)
:orly: :o
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Nice gun you have there
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Nice gun you have there
Go forth and spread truth! :zoinks:
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Yuck!!!! Return Benjaminbreeq at once.
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wtf :zombiefuck:
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wtf :zombiefuck:
Weren't like that last night. :-\
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wtf :zombiefuck:
Hide me from AspHole please
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Everyone needs a pool boy.
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Everyone needs a pool boy.
All part of the service
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Everyone needs a pool boy.
All part of the service
It's getting hot in here :lol:
(Sorry inside joke)
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:laugh:
I'll put the fire out
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Naked in the closet. Again. ::)
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i'll keep you company though :eyebrows: :lol:
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Just ignore the smoke alarm :green:
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we won't hear that anyway ;)
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No posting videos on youtube
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I'll make a copy though
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Do you live in Portland?
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I live in England, silly
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Doh, I'm so stupid, shucks.
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its ok, I forgive you ;)
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Wanna watch Benny and Joon?
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yes i would like to
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you are a sexy bitch
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Talking to yourself again matthe? :zoinks:
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are you gonna cook breakfast?
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Yes. Eggs, bacon, toast, juice. :thumbup:
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What a night that was.
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Glad it made you smile.
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Am I a third wheel?
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Is this an aspie sandwich?
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Yes, and I'm the meat.
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Back doors exit only please :o
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i'll use the designated entrance
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How much did I drink?!?!?
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Beer goggles fuck things up
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this thread needs more girls
(no offence CG i just need variety)
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^ :lol: None taken
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Phew! A girl this time! :thumbup:
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...did you sell your soul???
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You pick fights with bullies?
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No, just a second mortgage.
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...did you sell your soul???
Feminazi alert, spreken ze doich
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back again for another round?
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Celticgoddess? :o
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Uhm do I know you?
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*ding ding, round two now
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why is my ass bleeding?
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you have hemeroids, hard luck
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Care for some mood music?
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Yes, on my skin flute.
HAHAHA I MADE A PENIS JOKE :autism:
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Your penis IS a joke.
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:lol:
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Sit on my face, baby. (http://www.intensitysquared.com/index.php/topic,591.msg524579.html#msg524579)
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you mean fully clothed, right?
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No..... Naked like last night. :eyebrows:
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please stop spiking my drinks
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No drink spiking here, honest.
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Excuse me. I'm still here!!!!
:lol:
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Diddle yourself , Benji's mine, MINE!
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damn gays taking my men
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...just woke up. what happened?
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You were singing my name :zoinks:
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Good morning let's go again :eyebrows:
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Finally. I love multiple rounds.
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Nap first. I'm wore out.
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uhm, can we spoon? Please?
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If it'll help you sleep.
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I like spooning and naps. 8)
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I like forking, then spooning.
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hmmm...that's a great idea
(now it's time for bed)
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Fancy meeting you in here! ???
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You look so sweet, sleeping.
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Your cow has to go. :P
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Is this a relationship now?
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I think it's getting serious
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Kick it up a notch???
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Hell yeah! Sign me up.
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Is this mutually exclusive now?
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Nope, just using you sexually :angel:
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I'm totally down with that!!!! :headbang2:
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I'm totally down with that!!!! :headbang2:
With me you won't be :zoinks:
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Two's boring. Three's a party.
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Shall I invite PMS Elle then? :orly:
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Hey, my name isn't BOB.
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Will you make me come?
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Hold on. Need fresh batteries.
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Remember, our stuff doesn't touch!!!
I'm totally down with that!!!! :headbang2:
With me you won't be :zoinks:
:'(
Was wondering if anyone would pick up on that!!!
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Don't cry. l'll be gentle.
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Please do! It's my first!
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Nice hotel room you've got!
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Gentle, schmentle. Let's do this.
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Hey...wait....I know you!
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Please get your own Tauntaun!
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What the fuck's a tauntaun?
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From the Empire Strikes Back!
(Google Tauntaun and Robot Chicken! Funny shit!)
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Ah, star wars pillow talk.
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wanna play with my lightsaber?
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EBMF, I am your father.
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
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Lightsabre batteries run down already?
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"It gets up before me" :evillaugh:
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I am not drinking again.
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Your performance sucked indeed. :yawn:
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Your nipples are quite happy.
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More than a handful? Waste.
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:drool: (who needs words?)
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i have got morning wood
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Burn it in the fireplace
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it is not fireproof noooooooooooo
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Is it dishwasherproof?
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OMG I got cloned :zombiefuck:
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Two is better than one :zoinks:
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Two in the hand worth... :zoinks:
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I'd say a memorable time :orly:
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They're totally worth obsessing over.
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Worth all hundred million pennies!!! :zoinks: :headbang2:
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Am I your Toronto layover?
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Mmmmmmm Blonde British Bouncing Boobies!!!
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why is there a piston and rod hanging out of my ass?
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:LMAO:
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I like your engine *rawr*
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Ohhey, sup? Mind if I put some clothes on?
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Nudane es, puella? :eyelash:
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oh dear jesus something went wrong
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:orly:
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I'm not drinking your piss.
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Can you breathe through it? :hahaha:
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Be careful with that finger. :eyelash:
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That's where my sock went. :orly:
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That's where my sock went. :orly:
You're certainly not hung like a mastodon.
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You should reread the OP.
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You should reread the OP.
That is a weird thing to say to the person next to you. :laugh:
I would say: "Are you still wearing that Weeble costume?"
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No bull! You're a cow!
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May I sketch you, My Majesty? :eyebrows:
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You're not my Prince Albert!
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^ Keep the crown on, please. :P
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whoops
wrong bed
I'm in.
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Those whiskers tickle. :eyelash:
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GTF out of my bed.
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Why am I wearing antlers?
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Why are you wearing antlers? :zoinks:
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Shave off that mess at once! :rollingpin:
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We'll have to be quiet so the kids don't hear us. :eyelash:
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No one ever reads OP.
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No one ever reads OP.
Stop being a crybaby, Antlerhead. :hahaha:
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Start reading the OP, sock. :P
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I hope you brought lube. :eyelash:
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No, we're doing it dry. :evillaugh:
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I can see your colon. :o
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CBC: You can join in. :P
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My, you're a big one. :eyelash:
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Lets kick ass, lil rolla.
(http://www.cutecatgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/wakey.gif)
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Show me that rage condition. :eyebrows:
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why are you wearing socks? :P
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No one ever reads OP.
Totally untrue. HOW the fuck do think it is that I almost always shut down a growing thread with one post?
I respond in kind too often. The fun is over.
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The fun is never over.
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Now go make my breakfast. :zoinks:
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... Obama.
I am pretty sure it has already happened to most of us in the USA.
Then, you have to wonder what, exactly is dripping down between your legs.
???
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I knew it'd be you.
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No one ever reads OP.
Totally untrue. HOW the fuck do think it is that I almost always shut down a growing thread with one post?
I respond in kind too often. The fun is over.
Indeed. America has been raped.
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I knew it'd be you.
Just wish I had never bent over and spread my cheeks.
IN truth, I was one of those who wanted to have a"black" President in this country. Just did not see that we were hiring a Socialist to run our country into the ground.
TRILLION DOLLAR deficit? NAH! That is NOT my country!
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I knew it'd be you.
Just wish I had never bent over and spread my cheeks.
IN truth, I was one of those who wanted to have a"black" President in this country. Just did not see that we were hiring a Socialist to run our country into the ground.
TRILLION DOLLAR deficit? NAH! That is NOT my country!
The color of his skin is irrelevant. All one has to do to know what kind of a person he is, is look at where he went to school, learn the personality and ideals of the Marxist/communist professors that taught there at the time, and now look at who all he is rubbing shoulders with.
Look at his damn appointments list. WAL STREET WALL STREET WALL STREET WALL STREET. Look at the roster for the trilateral commission and the Council on Foreign relations. They actually list companies and banks as members. Really.
The reason why things are the way they are is easy as hell to understand.
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"Want to go get pancakes" :zoinks:
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I knew it'd be you.
Just wish I had never bent over and spread my cheeks.
IN truth, I was one of those who wanted to have a"black" President in this country. Just did not see that we were hiring a Socialist to run our country into the ground.
TRILLION DOLLAR deficit? NAH! That is NOT my country!
The color of his skin is irrelevant. All one has to do to know what kind of a person he is, is look at where he went to school, learn the personality and ideals of the Marxist/communist professors that taught there at the time, and now look at who all he is rubbing shoulders with.
Look at his damn appointments list. WAL STREET WALL STREET WALL STREET WALL STREET. Look at the roster for the trilateral commission and the Council on Foreign relations. They actually list companies and banks as members. Really.
The reason why things are the way they are is easy as hell to understand.
Well, yeah, of course it is in hind sight.
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DAMN. You look NOTHING like your avatar. O_o
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May I violate you now? :eyelash:
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I can't believe you let me put that cucumber in your ass.....
Can you take the paper bag off your head now, so I can see who you are? :hahaha:
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Semicolon says read the OP. :hahaha:
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Semicolon says read the OP. :hahaha:
Ahhh, I did. Hence the paper bag reference. :hahaha:
Strange how I knew you loved cucumbers in the butt.
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Semicolon says read the OP. :hahaha:
Ahhh, I did. Hence the paper bag reference. :hahaha:
Strange how I knew you loved cucumbers in the butt.
Less talk, more Gary lovin. :eyelash:
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Might as well touch myself. :yawn:
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Will you let me watch? :autism:
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That severely limits your usefulness.
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Hmmm, I think it's time for a Bed-in.
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That sounds good to me :eyebrows:
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Woah, holy shit dude, please tell me naked girls aren't one of the things you compulsively collect.
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Woah, holy shit dude, please tell me naked girls aren't one of the things you compulsively collect.
Why yes they are I have 372 now but am always am always on the look out for more :zoinks:
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Hey there, Mr. Fix it. :eyelash:
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You said you wanted to be violated, correct? I heard right?
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OK, this is awkward.
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And Elle is on the other side of you?
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Moo, moo moo moo moo. :eyebrows:
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* Rolls over and kicks Gary out of bed *
* sleeps on, thinking it was all just a bad dream *
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* Rolls over and kicks Gary out of bed *
* sleeps on, thinking it was all just a bad dream *
Mmmmm...
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Freaky time!! :eyebrows: Don't hit me. :hide:
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You said you liked it.
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Only when you do it. :zoinks:
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How come I find strange socks in my bed lately?
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Your bed lies at the "out" end of a wormhole.
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:laugh:
Burn, baby, burn.
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You and me, here, really?
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I hope Gary left already. :GA:
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Semi, is that really you?
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No, I'm a disguised CBC. :cbc:
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Anyone is allowed in now.
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Even trolling, wobbling, postwhoring Weebles.
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Yet it's you, not her.
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You get two for one. :cbc: :cbc:
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Ah, roll close to me, the two of you, I could use some warmth.
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Ah, roll close to me, the two of you, I could use some warmth.
:autism:
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Ooooh, nice. Now we meet between the sheets at last.
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We are warm and toasty. :3some:
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You're an egg with extremities?
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CBC's a wobbling, vibrating egg. :orly:
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Oh you, stop the filth.
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You said you liked it. :zoinks:
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No one gets pregnant today. :GA:
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Semicolon secks means no babies. :eyelash:
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Wow, I'm so freaking handsome!! :o
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One sock at a time. :prude:
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Why does my butt hurt? :zoinks:
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That must be from Odeon. :orly:
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He hurts your butt too? :orly:
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^ We all have hurt butts.
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I'm not picky about gender. :eyelash:
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Oh, lordy. Gary again. Pfffffffffffffttttttttt.
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I'm not picky about gender. :eyelash:
nor am I much.
BUT cheekbones!
... or some kind of ass?
Some things matter, ... --- ...
:flyingbat:
Watch for the Rescue Bat!
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Come here, boy. Good boy. :eyelash:
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Who the fuck are you?
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Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck are you? :zoinks:
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Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck are you? :zoinks:
Is there an echo here? :zoinks:
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Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck are you? :zoinks:
Is there an echo here? :zoinks:
Is there an echo here? :zoinks:
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Who the fuck are you?
Who the fuck are you? :zoinks:
Is there an echo here? :zoinks:
Is there an echo here? :zoinks:
No, why, just a sock. :P
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Thank G_d! You're not Gary.
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Did someone call for me? :orly:
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What was your name, again? :apondering:
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Ragie Pooh! Look at you!
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We will always have Paris
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What day is it?
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It's hump day, hot stuff. :eyelash:
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Did I make a stinky?
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Have you met my butt? :zoinks:
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Have you met my butt? :zoinks:
It's hairier than your face!
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You'd better be paying me.
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Do you have a sister? :zoinks:
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Is there a matching sock? :orly:
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Thank heavens. You're not Gary.
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Why is PA taking pictures?
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Can I be in the picture? :zoinks:
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Stop being so bloody needy.
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Lets sleep in, I'm bloody tired.
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And I have a headache. :zoinks:
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And I have a headache. :zoinks:
We're made for each other. I have a headache too.
Go back to sleep.
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Milk's here. Where's the coffee?
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What happened?
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'No no no, your pussy is nice. Don't worry about it.' :green:
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You're avin a laugh m8
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Go cook me something manly. :zoinks:
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You would not know manly. :zoinks:
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You would not know manly. :zoinks:
Maybe you can teach me. :zoinks:
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Holy crap!! I'm so cute!! :GA:
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But I am much cuter.
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I prefer when you speak geek. :eyelash:
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Do you see your shadow?
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I completely forgot to check. :zoinks:
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You should take a peek.
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You should take a peek. :eyebrows:
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Google says I saw my shadow. I hope you guys like winter. :hahaha:
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Hairy little beast, aren't you?
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Google says I saw my shadow. I hope you guys like winter. :hahaha:
Hope you like .243 rounds at 3200 FPS fired at your face.
:finger:
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A feisty one, aren't you. :eyelash:
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What the fuck is a Gopher doing in my bed!?! :smashviolin:
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I promise I won't bite. :zoinks:
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WHO ARE YOU????
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WHO ARE YOU????
I'm your friendly neighborhood gopher. :zoinks:
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Most gophers have brown fur that often closely matches the color of the soil in which they live. Their most characteristic features are their large cheek pouches, from which the word "pocket" in their name derives. These pouches are fur-lined, and can be turned inside out. They extend from the side of the mouth well back onto the shoulders. They have small eyes and a short, hairy tail, which they use to feel around tunnels when they walk backwards.
The best oral sex, EVER!
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Erhm... I'm not sure you understand how cunnilingus works.
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Am I supposed to understand?
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Where the hell am I?
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Where the hell am I?
Don't ask me.
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May I warm you up? :eyelash:
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Sure. Where's that electrical tape? ???
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Is that a gun or.........?
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It should have been me.
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All you need is love. :eyelash:
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Fleas
Fleas
Fleas
Fleas
Fleas
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I can scratch that itch. :eyelash:
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After this, everything will itch.
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Can you scratch my back, please.
Yes, there, and just little to the right too.
Aaaah.
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What's that on your hoof?
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There are two of you?
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Two is better than one.
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The third time's a charm. :eyebrows:
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Oh, it is you again.
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Is that cash for me? :zoinks:
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Not a penny, you hear.
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I hear a symphony, dear.
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Why do I smell gumbo? :flowersex:
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Better gumbo than fish, dearie.
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you'd get a hug
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Swoon
Swoon
Swoon
Swoon
Swoon
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You should probably articulate better.
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So did you miss me? :zoinks:
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Oh Hai. I made poopies.
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Oh Hai. I made poopies.
Why is it that color? :nerdy:
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Oh Jesus no!
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Hey wow, you're already shackled!! :eyebrows:
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Nostalgia Critic Needs Help (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mYJ0dFLjG4#)
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Where are your five words?
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Where are your five words?
Oh fuck...Please tell me we didn't do it.
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Our child will be spastic. :spaz:
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Are you the fertile type? :GA:
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Are you the sensitive type? :eyebrows:
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Can I chuck your wood? :zoinks:
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Where'd you burrow that hole? :o
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Jesus Christ! Why!? How did this happen!?
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Who's mustering the Rohirrim now? :eyebrows:
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Please tell me we didn't...Do the sex thing
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When will you start counting? :spaz:
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Your tusks ripped the sheets! :zombiefuck:
(Royal sheets are expensive, you know.)
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When I said that I wanted to make love to a queen...I meant Daenerys.
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I thought you meant him. :ghey:
:zoinks:
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Quit hogging all the blankets. :zoinks:
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Quit hogging all the blankets. :zoinks:
These are my blankets. I do as I please with them :M
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When will you start counting?
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When will you start counting?
(http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140501150431/walkingdead/images/3/3d/Wat.jpeg)
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Why not read the OP?
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Why not read the OP?
Is that what you'd say if you woke up next to me? :zoinks: :orly:
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Why wouldn't I say that?
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Why wouldn't I say that?
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/1017433_210159599187960_443450166_n.jpg?oh=9a41466da64e815fae58c7c312f30636&oe=5416980A&__gda__=1411583865_06b87d2e9ceb02b10bd2b7f502c700f3)
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Semicolon says read the OP. :zoinks:
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Semicolon says read the OP. :zoinks:
Why bring Semicolon into this? He's not here in this room, is he?
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You suck at this game. :hahaha:
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You suck at this game. :zoinks:
I suck at sex? Ouch :'(
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You suck at this game. :zoinks:
I suck at sex? Ouch :'(
We're not doing the secks!! >:(
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We're not doing the secks!! >:(
No secks, and don't you dare crapping on my side of the bed either. :M
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Why isn't any sex happening?
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People with Ass Burgers can't have sex cause they are unfeeling robots. :grimlock:
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So you do go down. :eyebrows:
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So you do go down. :eyebrows:
Clearly you have trouble with smiley comprehension. You need more help than I can give you here. :M
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No one reads the OP. :GA:
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No one reads the OP. :GA:
Typical mastodon, trying to enforce adhesion to the topic after getting his butt hurt. :trollface:
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Does your butt still hurt? :anal: :trollface:
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I'm not a mastodon. Thank god. :M :P
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No mastodon babies for you. :P
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No mastodon babies for you. :P
No human ones either! Those things are scary! :runaway: :bonnet:
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You can call me baby. :zoinks:
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You can call me Betty. :zoinks:
You can call me Al. :M
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You can call me Al. :M
You don't look like Al at all. :zombiefuck:
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Mind leaving? Al is next.
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Haven't you ever heard this?
You Can Call Me Al (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq-gYOrU8bA#)
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Is that your tusk.. or are you just happy to see me? :green:
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Alleen voor beschuit kom ik eruit.
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Oké, ze staan in de keuken.. and while you're at it, poepekke, could you bring me some cheese too.. ja, die superlekkere geitenkaas. :green:
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No crumbs in bed. NO!!!
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Do you like hairy legs? :zoinks:
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Holy Grail - Jesus Christ! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AZs6yhiRms#)
-
Do you like hairy legs? :zoinks:
As you mention elsewhere, the French have hairy legs. Are you a French gopher? :eiffel:
-
Do you like hairy trunks? :eyebrows:
-
Do you like hairy trunks? :eyebrows:
This little hairy trunk is nice enough. :tard:
(http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2077/2508557285_0da612a321_z.jpg?zz=1)
-
That's more than five words.
-
early mornings, my counting sucks.
-
Have some coffee in bed. :tea:
-
Have some coffee in bed. :tea:
I don't drink coffee :M
-
You drink tea, don't you? :M
-
When I "re-met" Prince Albert after college we were at a singles meeting. Our initial conversation went along these lines:
QV - Didn't you go to UNO?
PA - Yes.
QV - And you had Scholl for Management 100.
PA - Yes.
QV - I thought I recognized you! Can I get you some coffee?
PA - I don't drink coffee.
QV - Can I get you some tea?
PA - I don't drink tea.
QV - Can I get you some hot water?
PA - bursts into laughter.
I knew I had him then. The poor man never stood a chance.
-
You drink tea, don't you? :M
Yes. Milk, one sugar.
-
Is this a water bed? :zoinks:
-
Is there room for three? :eyebrows:
-
Move your big, hairy arse!
-
Hey, I'm not that hairy.
-
Hey, I'm not that hairy.
What about your legs? :GA:
-
Why can you not count? :GA:
-
Why can you not count? :GA:
Why don't you mind your own business? :lol2: :trollface:
-
Why can't you count either? :hahaha:
-
Why are you here again?
-
Come again, and again, and...........
-
This was meant to be.
-
Will you scratch my tummy? :eyelash:
-
Thank god for hairy beasts.
-
^
You talk about yourself again?
-
We have a species barrier. :o
-
This is a hairy bed. :GA:
-
This is a hairy bed. :GA:
-
The bed is still hairy.
-
What hairy bed is that?
-
stop shedding, all of you.
-
I can't, it's always seasonal. :GA:
-
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Are you ready to count? :eyebrows:
-
Want to be my bitch? :zoinks:
-
You should probably be gagged.
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNfx1kGV420 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNfx1kGV420)
-
Where should I put this? :dunno:
-
Where should you put what?
-
Where'll I put my halo? :angel:
-
I can't sleep with mine.
-
It's too bright at night.
-
Go cook me some pancakes. :zoinks:
-
What'll I use as syrup? :zoinks:
-
My porno mind is boggling.
-
Stop! Don't eat the pancakes!
-
But pancakes can be hawt.
-
If pancakes are good enough for SantaChrist, then they're good enough for me :M
-
Shit.
-
It's not the pancakes, it's the syrup. Semicolon's special blend, straight from the source.
-
Why are you talking about Semicolon?
-
This:
What'll I use as syrup? :zoinks:
I'm quite sure the pancake syrup is mastodon pee.
-
*sigh*
I was just playing the game, lol.
-
Sorry, you're much more fun anyway. It's easier to handle a rooster than a mastodon. Shall we begin again?
-
Oo la la.
Why yes...we shall begin... :eyebrows:
-
Ladies first. Lady Weeble, get your arse in here. sg is waiting.
-
Good, you're not a lady. :zoinks:
-
Why are you talking about Semicolon?
I'm good with my trunk. :eyebrows:
This:
What'll I use as syrup? :zoinks:
I'm quite sure the pancake syrup is mastodon pee.
Would I pee on those? :orly:
Sorry, you're much more fun anyway. It's easier to handle a rooster than a mastodon. Shall we begin again?
Can't you handle my tusks? :P
Good, you're not a lady. :zoinks:
Your paws are all wet. :GA:
-
:aff:
-
Counting to five is hard. :P
-
Nah, counting to five is easy. You just have remember how to pee.
One: Unzip your pants.
Two: Pull it out.
Three: Peel back the skin.
Four: Just let it go.
Five : Put back the skin.
The trick is to not become too involved with the skin. Anyone hearing you following all the directions and saying, " Three - five - three - five - three - five ..." may become suspicious as to why you are taking sooooo long to count to five.
;)
-
May I watch a demonstration? :zoinks:
-
Ugh! Fur in my mouth!
-
We'd better make it quick.
-
:hide:
-
No chairs in bed, please. :facepalm2:
-
Perhaps that's a milking stool.
-
You can't touch my breasts. :grrr:
-
*snuggles into the warm bovine bosom*
Thanks for the hug.
-
Can I milk the chicken? :dunno:
-
:aff:
; :litigious:
-
Can I milk the chicken? :dunno:
Let me egg you on.
-
May I fluff your pillows? :eyebrows:
-
They're much better lain on than fluffed.
-
sg1008 shot me in bed. :GA:
-
How can you talk dead?
-
Your tongue's like sandpaper. :GA:
-
Your tongue's like sandpaper. :GA:
You can't prove that :M
-
Oh, look. It's Some_Guy. :zoinks:
-
Oh, look. It's Some_Guy. :zoinks:
Oh shit, a gopher. I'm going to be arrested for animal cruelty! :zoinks:
-
I wont press any charges. :eyelash:
-
Not that kind of charges. :zoinks:
-
Not that kind of charges. :zoinks:
**screams in pure terror**
-
Not that kind of charges. :zoinks:
**screams in pure terror**
Courts don't take gophers seriously. :lol1:
-
You're not really a gopher, are you?
-
Must we be so technical? :zoinks:
-
Wow, gophers are very cute. :zoinks:
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mYJ0dFLjG4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mYJ0dFLjG4)
-
Remove the s from https. :zoinks:
-
You can't tell me what to do :M
-
Why, don't you like it? :bonban: :eyebrows:
-
Yikes!
-
Your armor is cold. Come here and let me warm it up.
-
When I said I wanted to sleep with a Queen...I meant Daenerys!
-
Dude wake up. You've been sleep walking again.
-
Can I see your tamale? :zoinks:
-
When I said I wanted to sleep with a Queen...I meant Daenerys!
Daenerys = See Randy, sneer day, seen yard
-
I have no idea what you're talking about! Now get out of my bed!
-
Did you move your laptop?
-
Be careful of your scrotum. :hahaha:
-
Don't sit on your balls. :hahaha:
-
Why is there a pile of fossilized rocks in my bed? :hahaha:
-
you're so fluffy and warm.
-
Your bovine kisses are sweet :)
(http://images.nationalgeographic.com/wpf/media-live/photos/000/626/cache/cow-shepherd-india_62675_990x742.jpg)
-
Is there room for me? :hyke: :eyebrows: :chicken:
-
NO! Now get out! :finger:
-
Will it be big enough? :GA:
-
I don't give a shit about the blanket fort. Both of you, get out now! :GA:
-
Were you hiding your gold? :lep:
-
Elephant's noses are very nimble. :zoinks:
-
I'm a mastodon, you groundhog. :M :hahaha:
-
Hush and rub my tummy. :zoinks:
-
Do you like tusk jobs? :eyelash:
-
What are tusk jobs, bro?
-
What are tusk jobs, bro?
I don't know, and I'm not sure if I want to know :GA:
-
How did I end up in a video game?
-
How did I end up in a video game?
Depends on both the game and the player.
-
Good thing I'm using a proxy....
-
Can I touch your server? :zoinks:
-
Keep your hands off my man!
Oh, you said server, not servant.
Oops.
-
What the hell is going on? :GA:
-
Damn you, follow the rules!!!
-
I hear you like rulez. :eyebrows:
-
Get the angles right, please!
-
*puts blanket over the jar with Trigger's head in it*
There.
-
*puts blanket over the jar with Trigger's head in it*
There.
*decapitates SG with sword, causing him to run around literally like a chicken with it's head cut off*
There :M
-
If I woke up naked next to...
...a girl?
"Holy crap, who paid you?"
-
If I woke up naked next to...
...a girl?
"Holy crap, who paid you?"
I brought my snorkel gear. :eyelash:
-
If I woke up naked next to...
...a girl?
"Holy crap, who paid you?"
I brought my snorkel gear. :eyelash:
Did you find any polyps?
-
You're not diving anywhere here.
-
That was one fast Jag!
-
Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :kitten:
-
(http://www.budgetsaresexy.com/images/colbert-screaming.gif)
-
Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. I am fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink. Good Luck.
-
I'm blinking right at you. :eyelash:
-
Can I please shave it?
-
I'll watch you shave it. :zoinks:
-
Oh Jesus no! :GA:
-
Just drive me home...NOW!
-
Hold your horses. The carriage is coming.
-
That's what she said, honey!
-
OMW! Two penii ponies!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
I can see your posse. :zoinks:
-
Still want to shave yours!
-
Oi, Space Boy. I'm a D cup.
-
Are you stalking me, babe?
-
Oh, shit. You called me babe. Now you're in for it.
-
What is in the box?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2myYmjiki4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2myYmjiki4#ws)
-
Did the cow have to?
-
What cow?!
-
Where is Jessica Hyde?
-
Fuk da pweice :police:
-
hodor?
-
Good morning, sweetheart. x² Shall I make you a nice cup of tea? (http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/images/smiles/icon_eek.gif)
-
hodor?
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7999202816/h8BF5BC37/)
-
So did you miss me? :zoinks:
-
So did you miss me? :zoinks:
Every Arnold Scream From Every Arnold Movie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aLR-8c11ms#ws)
-
Damn, not you again?
-
Want to see my chestnuts? :zoinks:
-
Are those things your chestnuts? :zoinks:
-
No, those are chinnuts.
-
Post your chestnuts or GTFO. :autism:
-
Don't leave me alone here. :violin:
-
A gentleman takes off his hat.
-
Please, leave the crown on. :eyelash:
-
Have you figured out wht chinnuts are yet??
Are you worried about that? :zoinks:
-
Rub on my tummy first. :eyelash:
-
Can't anyone count to five?
-
Thank heavens. Someone I can make sweet music with.
-
You took all the blankets.
-
You've got a thick hide and hair to keep you warm. I'm just a poor, fragile, delicate little old lady who needs all the covers she can get.
-
I don't need much blankets. :eyelash:
-
I'll go get a thermometer. :zoinks:
-
But your thermometer smells funny. :zoinks:
-
Come now, don't be shy. :eyelash:
-
Wanna make this really creepy? :zoinks:
-
You of all people, why?
-
You needn't be concerned with any missing posts. Focus on the unity of group. :borg: :borg: :borg:
-
Is that what you'd say? :orly:
-
Why are there posts missing now??
The posts were broken when you tied me to them and had your way with me.
(Sorry to post out of turn, but it was too good to pass up.)
-
I am having technical difficulties. :zoinks:
-
Typical man. You didn't read the directions first, did you?
-
Let's go back to sleep. :yawn: :yawn:
-
Why? Afraid of the alternative?
-
You, Her Majesty and me? :eyebrows:
-
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
-
What's going on in here? :zoinks:
-
You take it off first. :zoinks:
-
Your panties don't fit me. :zoinks:
-
Hey you broke the game. :hahaha:
-
Here is the correct smiley. :underwear:
-
Weebles do sleep standing up. :o
-
How else?
Getting them to "voluntarily" Lie Down is the real trick.
-
True, Weeble colors don't run! :arrr:
-
What the hell are you doing up here? I get the top bunk.
Come to think of it, how the hell did we get up here? We're both short.
-
What the hell are you doing up here? I get the top bunk.
Come to think of it, how the hell did we get up here? We're both short.
I'm clever, I wobbled up! :cbc:
-
Is there room for me? :eyelash:
-
May I record whatever happens? :zoinks:
-
May I record whatever happens? :zoinks:
I'll be quiet. I promise. :zoinks:
-
Are you talking to yourself or do we have more pissing mosts?? :GA:
-
Wouldn't you like to know? :zoinks:
Seriously though, talking to myself.
-
Please shave before bedding yourself.
-
Play me like one of your Beatle songs.
-
Do you like tickle fights? :zoinks:
-
Here's a coupon for a waxing at the spa you fuzzball!
Do you like tickle fights? :zoinks:
As sad as this is, the best "sexual" experience I ever had was a tickle fight with my soon-to-be GF in her dorm room in college. That stands out more than the 5 or 6 times I actually had sex in my life.
-
And now he shows up.
-
No God nooo!!! - Michael Scott (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcz4u3Lv9ko#)
-
joined here the day i turned 18 if i remember correctly.
im 22 as of a week ago or so. still a virgin. :P
-
What did you say, dear?
-
[Star Trek: TNG - Data] Ooh Shhhit (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9hg0uMwUrI#)
-
Down on your knees, boy. :zoinks:
-
AWW HELL NAW (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im_5QdHp04E#)
-
Down on your knees, boy. :zoinks:
nope.avi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvdf5n-zI14#ws)
-
Are you a good listener? :blah:
-
Why? Did I miss the safe word?
-
Down on your knees, boy. :zoinks:
nope.avi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvdf5n-zI14#ws)
What is that from? That's funny right there.
-
Down on your knees, boy. :zoinks:
nope.avi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvdf5n-zI14#ws)
its an old video from before steam movie maker was a thing, my friend and me were discussing it just the other day, we think it was a bug in gary's mod and it got turned into a meme
What is that from? That's funny right there.
-
Why, hello there, pretty boy. ;)
-
I only watched you sleep. :zoinks:
-
It should have been you. :P
-
Which me shall I be? :orly:
-
I don't care just as long as you wear these. :bra: :underwear: :cfm: :booty:
-
Do not wear them, Pappy! :o
-
Yeah, Pappy!! Wear them, Pappy!! :zoinks:
-
They're for you gopher.
Of course you'll have to shave your beaver first. :orly:
-
A gopher shaving a beaver... boggles the mind. :P
-
Get me some coffee, please.
-
Thank the Lord it's not Pappy or Gopher. Care for something to dunk in the coffee?
-
Did you call my name? :zoinks:
-
You again? You like me.
-
Can I have the remote? :zoinks:
-
You want to be dunked in Queen Victoria's coffee?
-
Actually that sounds incredible. I am a coffee and tea fanatic, so bathing in it would be quite the experience.
-
You and me in bed?!?
-
Turn that damn camera off! Who do you think I am? Kim Kardashian?
-
Just happy to see you. :P
-
So how about that remote? :zoinks:
-
Really comfy now, so sorry.
-
roll over. let me give you a back rub.
-
We make a cute couple. :zoinks:
-
Prince Albert is coming! Quick get on my head and pretend you're a hat.
-
Your hair smells really nice. :eyelash:
-
Spit your hairballs somewhere else.
-
Quit touching my hairballs, Odeon. :zoinks:
-
Not sexy at all, Gopher.
-
Do you want to wrestle? :zoinks:
-
Giggles. I only have one nightgown now and it was mixed in with some smokey clothes at the hotel. So I had to sleep naked. I'm not telling what PA said. Have fun with your imagination.
-
If I did, I wouldn't kick her out of bed
-
What are people gonna say?
-
Can you take a joke? :zoinks:
-
Can you take the yoke?
-
Can you take the yoke?
"OK...waiting to wake up and this to have been just a nice dream, spoiled by the waking"
-
No need to wake yet. :eyelash:
-
I'm here until he wakes. :zoinks:
-
Quick, through the window!
-
But baby, it's cold outside.
-
Stay here with me then. :eyebrows:
-
How did this happen?!
-
Did you count to five? :orly:
-
Spooning can lead to forking. :zoinks:
-
And unprotected forking to babies.
-
Unprotected forking is for stupid forkers. :zoinks:
-
Gophers should learn to count.
-
Will you teach me that? :orly:
-
I doubt you can learn.
-
Can you keep my attention? :orly:
-
I'll go fetch my goggles. :zoinks:
-
Dive in and be brave.
-
Holy shit, I guess *both* our jobs finally made us crack, huh?
-
I'm gonna tell your mom. :zoinks:
-
My mother doesn't love me anyway, and my father wouldn't care.
-
You can call me daddy. :eyelash:
-
Go sit in the corner. :zoinks:
-
I'd roll over and go back to sleep since he's always in my bed.
-
I'll stare while you sleep. :zoinks:
-
I'll stare while you sleep. :zoinks:
(http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/shatner-khan.gif)
-
Would you rather have Hodor?
-
You can call me Hodor. :zoinks:
-
How did you get here?
-
Let us just do it.
-
Let us just do it.
(https://31.media.tumblr.com/5094ef977d772e646c22f987f9de7c34/tumblr_inline_ndws41J36k1sb19dt.gif)
-
You are two words short.
-
You better listen to me. :poopy:
-
Feisty cow is so feisty. :o
-
Not you and me again?!?
-
I could paint it green. :zoinks:
-
I prefer to have blonde.
-
I prefer to have blonde.
No God nooo!!! - Michael Scott (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcz4u3Lv9ko#)
-
You're a little bit weird. :eyelash:
-
You're a little bit weird. :eyelash:
That's an understatement :asthing:
-
Didn't you prefer Jennifer Lawrence?
-
If she's here, I'm gone.
-
Nope just a hairy Aussie bloke in mid snore after Friday bourbon night
-
Nope just a hairy Aussie bloke in mid snore after Friday bourbon night
In that case then no thanks.
-
Warning, this could get rowdy. :zoinks:
-
Warning, this could get rowdy. :zoinks:
I'd rather it didn't. Get out of my house!
-
You really talk to much.
-
You really talk to much.
You'd be in a little trouble getting out of bed
-
I'll go get the paddle. :zoinks:
-
I'll go get the paddle. :zoinks:
Why? Are we going sailing? :zoinks:
-
That explains why it's wet. :zoinks:
-
Yeah, right, that explains it. :zoinks:
-
Yeah, right, that explains it. :zoinks:
Ahhh! A ghost gopher! :GA:
-
You can call me Some_Gopher. :eyelash:
-
You can call me Some_Gopher. :eyelash:
I would rather die than call you that :finger:
-
You can call me Some_Gopher. :eyelash:
I would rather die than call you that :finger:
May I call you Some_Guy? :zoinks:
-
You can call me Some_Gopher. :eyelash:
I would rather die than call you that :finger:
May I call you Some_Guy? :zoinks:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpN3_cEL2W8# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpN3_cEL2W8#)
-
Oh...kay.
*gets up makes some tea and watches videos in living room while S_B snoozes*
-
You should have chickened out.
-
You should have chickened out.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d8/Michael_J._Fox_as_Marty_McFly_in_Back_to_the_Future,_1985.jpg)
-
Which fleg is flying now? :eyebrows:
-
This bed ain't big enough.
-
Which fleg is flying now? :eyebrows:
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PsKs5W2m4Tg/U9wKsC_RoHI/AAAAAAAAAXc/2haFxqfYzks/s1600/fuck-you-fire1.gif)
-
Are you the silent type?
-
Are you the silent type?
Maybe :M
-
Again!?
Geesh, how many times do I have to tell you, this is not North Ireland.
-
Did you cross the road? :zoinks:
-
:litigious:
Take THAT rabid gopher!!!
Decontamination cycle starts in 5.....4.....3.....2.....1..... :flamer:
-
I'll get my wet suit. :zoinks:
-
I'll get my wet suit. :zoinks:
(http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b517/Techn0Chicken/unexpected-monk-meme-generator-do-me-a-favor-and-get-the-fuck-out-5acdec_zps8f320465.jpg)
-
You protest way too much. :zoinks:
-
You protest way too much. :zoinks:
You haven't left?
You leave me no choice then...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT9w0PGykZ0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT9w0PGykZ0#)
-
You never follow the rules. :eyelash:
-
You never follow the rules. :eyelash:
The Asshole Beyond the Wall makes his own rules :M
-
You're a glutton for punishment. :zoinks:
-
Dang it! Where do they keep coming from?!
:flamer:
-
I think you are infested. :zoinks:
-
Nice Beaver!!! :thumbup:
-
Nice Beaver!!! :thumbup:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_XQlrryN7Q (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_XQlrryN7Q#ws)
-
Nice Beaver!!! :thumbup:
Nice sprockets!! :zoinks:
-
Nice Beaver!!! :thumbup:
Nice sprockets!! :zoinks:
nice anal beads
-
Nice Beaver!!! :thumbup:
Nice sprockets!! :zoinks:
nice anal beads
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpN3_cEL2W8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpN3_cEL2W8#)
-
Nice Beaver!!! :thumbup:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_XQlrryN7Q (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_XQlrryN7Q#ws)
Why didn't you post this? :orly:
Nice beaver (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wS3LWOTCW4A#ws)
-
I'm going to give you to the count of three to leave my house and country. :police:
-
I brought some rice cakes. :zoinks:
-
I'm spreading democracy in Europe. :snake:
-
I'm spreading democracy in Europe. :snake:
With drones in the sky or troops on the ground? :autism:
-
I'm spreading democracy in Europe. :snake:
With drones in the sky or troops on the ground? :autism:
This is me spreading democracy:
(http://i.imgur.com/KNFvX8Q.gif)
-
Pay attention to word counts.
-
I'm spreading democracy in Europe. :snake:
With drones in the sky or troops on the ground? :autism:
This is me spreading democracy:
(http://i.imgur.com/KNFvX8Q.gif)
Spreading it with a dildo makes no sense. Merica' spreads democracy by blowing up women and children with drones you fool :autism:
-
Can you count to five?
-
Can you count to five?
Yep
-
It's dirt collection day today. :M
-
It's dirt collection day today. :M
What's under those sheets?
-
Hello Gorgeous.
-
Hello Gorgeous.
Hello....Don't mind him...
-
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNnIkJW_8VA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNnIkJW_8VA#)
-
:vader:
Who uses the alien probe? :probe:
-
Is that what you want?
-
Would you like some fries with your sandwich?
-
That's a mighty limp fry you've got there. Care to warm it up?
-
I'll go get the thermometer. :zoinks:
-
I'll go get the thermometer. :zoinks:
Where are you going to put it? Where the hell are you going to put it!? :GA:
-
I'll go get the thermometer. :zoinks:
Where are you going to put it? Where the hell are you going to put it!? :GA:
Where do you want it? :orly:
-
I'll go get the thermometer. :zoinks:
Where are you going to put it? Where the hell are you going to put it!? :GA:
Where do you want it? :orly:
Away from me! :GA:
-
Don't you like the bulb? :eyelash:
-
You like the bulb, right? :zoinks:
-
No, I prefer the tip. :bonban:
-
No, I prefer the tip. :bonban:
Then take your tip and leave! :GA:
-
I thought you enjoyed it.
-
First get me some coffee.
-
Don't mind him, he gets up before I do. He is just saying "G'day"
-
Get aout or I'm callin' the pwiece :police:
-
Did we enjoy the night?
-
Oh, hello. :eyebrows:
I'll make cups of tea and we can lay here and play metal gear together.
-
I can see your pecker. :zoinks:
-
Your fur is blocking it.
-
Thuts it. I'm callin' the pweice :police:
-
The police again? I'm sleeping.
-
*peeks under covers*
-
*peeks under covers*
Hiding under the covers won't save you, you fool :autism:
-
Are you making us drinks? :eyelash:
-
Ah, here's Lady Weeble with the tea.
-
What flavor would you like? :mastodon: :tea: :queenie:
-
What flavor would you like? :mastodon: :tea: :queenie:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK-AjJzr2Z4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK-AjJzr2Z4#)
-
Counting to five is hard.
-
At least that is hard.
-
I want milk for free. :zoinks:
-
I will also have milk.
-
Really? How kinky is that?
-
Really? How kinky is that?
I wouldn't know. :dunno:
-
Don't you like fresh milk? :zoinks:
-
What is that funny smell? :zoinks:
-
Are you gonna spray me? :zoinks:
-
Better your monkey than you. :zoinks:
-
So where's my Christmas present? :zoinks:
-
Did you wrap it up? :zoinks:
-
Is that your yule log? :zoinks:
-
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhTv2kSBMhc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhTv2kSBMhc#ws)
-
You say no so secksy. :eyelash:
-
Tom Hiddelston I'd be all like Hi :heisenberg:
-
Wake, panic, don't move, one eyed scan around room, locate clothes, peek under covers quietly check out self for nakedness, another peek under to see nakedness of other person in bed, check if they have eyes closed and look like they are going to wake up, if not slip out slowly, grab clothes, dress quickly, check to see wallet, keys and cash still in pockets, listen if there is any other noise in the house, if not....bolt!!!
-
Hush, no need for talking.
-
Get out before I call the pwiece :police:
-
Obey, and count to five!
-
Obey, and count to five!
Never!
-
How hard can it be?
-
How hard does it get? :zoinks:
-
How hard does it get? :zoinks:
As hard as you want it to :autism:
-
Too long, not hard enough. :M
-
Too long, not hard enough. :M
Spooning in the morning would be nice
-
Shall I massage your back?
-
May I have massaging too? :eyelash:
-
Massaging back and beaver?
-
It's a wild hairy beaver. :zoinks:
-
Will it make you scream?
-
Will it make you scream?
I would be disconcerted
-
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
-
May I touch your jewels? :zoinks:
-
I think I'll pass. :santa:
-
Did you pass some gas? :zoinks:
-
Oh no! You got fleas?
-
I'll scratch your itchy spots. :zoinks:
-
Didn't sign up for fleas.
-
Didn't sign up for fleas.
I didn't sign up for any of this! :GA:
-
Then, why are you here?
-
Then, why are you here?
Why are you in my bed?! :GA:
-
No, you're in my bed. :zoinks:
-
No, you're in my bed. :zoinks:
Get out! :grrr:
-
I'll go get the spatula. :zoinks:
-
I'll go get the spatula. :zoinks:
Where are you going to put it :aff:
-
Somewhere the sun doesn't shine. :probe:
-
Watch this. It will hurt.
-
It will hurt you more. :viking:
-
Please be gentle, my lady. :eyelash:
-
Don't you ever get out of bed? Every time I wake up, you're here.
-
I think this thread should choose to use the metric system.
It would be less confusing.
-
Is there a metric fetish?
-
If not, then maybe we should create one.
Just so we are all "on the same page."
-
If not, then maybe we should create one.
Just so we are all "on the same page."
All in the same bed?
-
Not all of us, no.
-
What are you doing here? :aff:
-
Hodor???
-
You can call me Hodor. :eyelash:
-
You can call me Hodor. :eyelash:
You're not Hodor :aff:
-
Then call me any time. :zoinks:
-
That is a strange name.
-
Not all of us, no.
Oh, HELL no!
-
Oh, hello. I take it you're here to watch movies with me and not anything else, right? :asthing:
-
Take that stupid armour off. It squeaked all night.
-
Take that stupid armour off. It squeaked all night.
No, I love my armour:
(http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/fallout/images/5/56/Winterized_T-51b.png/revision/latest?cb=20090720103024)
It keeps me safe.
-
I'll oil your squeaky spots. :zoinks:
-
I'll oil your squeaky spots. :zoinks:
NOOOO (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpN3_cEL2W8#)
-
I'll squeak your oily spots. :zoinks:
-
I'll squeak your oily spots. :zoinks:
What part of no do you not understand?
Thuts it. I'm callin the pwiece :police:
-
I have my own handcuffs. :zoinks:
-
I have my own handcuffs. :zoinks:
(http://media.giphy.com/media/Qc5vv7hw1moPC/giphy-facebook_s.jpg)
-
^
Are you the talkative kind?
-
I'd rather talk all night than do the thingy, so yeah. :orly:
-
I can see the thingy. :zoinks:
-
I can see the thingy. :zoinks:
(http://www.pinkvilla.com/files/images/728-computer-reaction-face-knife-stab-self-eye.png)
-
I see the other thingy. :zoinks:
-
Who has the bigger penis??
I'll go fetch the micrometer. :zoinks:
-
Know what it looks like? :zoinks:
-
Know what it looks like? :zoinks:
I don't want to know. :aff:
-
You know you like it. :zoinks:
-
Yes, you can touch it. :zoinks:
-
I'd rather stare at it. :zoinks:
-
I'd rather stare at it. :zoinks:
Stop staring or I'll call teh pwiece :police:
-
The police will stare too. :zoinks:
-
The police will stare too. :zoinks:
They're not American police. Norn Iron pwiece have better things to do :police:
-
The police will stare too. :zoinks:
They're not American police. Norn Iron pwiece have better things to do :police:
Will they all come together? :flasher: :flasher: :flasher: :flasher: :flasher:
-
While pumping their Norn Iron. :zoinks:
-
While pumping their Norn Iron. :zoinks:
You don't know what Norn Iron is, do you? :M
-
Better cover your Norn Iron. :zoinks:
-
Better cover your Norn Iron. :zoinks:
(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/wat-meme.jpg)
-
Lost your tongue, my dear?
-
Lost your tongue, my dear?
What gave you that crazy idea?
-
Yes, I am that good. :eyebrows:
-
I've never felt so tidy. :zoinks:
-
Lady Weeble has spruced you up nicely.
-
My fleas are even gone. :eyelash:
-
My fleas are even gone. :eyelash:
It will take more than that to convince me :M
-
Does this smell like chloroform? :zoinks:
-
No, more like your feet.
-
Does this smell like chloroform? :zoinks:
No, it smells like shit :autism:
-
Hey quit sniffing my butt. :zoinks:
-
What else can you do?
-
Can't you be more creative?
-
Can't you be more creative?
Hey, give me a break I'm not very good at this kind of thing.
-
Just do what I say.
-
Just do what I say.
Depends on what you say :eyelash:
-
Depends on what you say :eyelash:
I say gimme piggyback rides. :zoinks:
-
Depends on what you say :eyelash:
I say gimme piggyback rides. :zoinks:
Then I say get out :finger:
-
Depends on what you say :eyelash:
I say gimme piggyback rides. :zoinks:
Then I say get out :finger:
But you're in my bed. :hahaha:
-
Warm my feet, furry one.
-
I doubt he is housebroken.
-
Depends on what you say :eyelash:
I say gimme piggyback rides. :zoinks:
Then I say get out :finger:
But you're in my bed. :hahaha:
How the hell did I get here :aff:
-
It's an ancient Chinese secret. :zoinks:
-
It's an ancient Chinese secret. :zoinks:
China is so secret their secret service doesn't even have a name. I wonder how deep your "ancient Chinese secret" goes :aff:
-
How low can you go? :zoinks:
-
How low can you go? :zoinks:
As long as you want me to, hun :eyelash:
-
Bend down, lick my toes.
-
Bend down, lick my toes.
No :M
-
Do it or get spanked. :zoinks:
-
Do it or get spanked. :zoinks:
Maybe I like being spanked :eyelash:
-
I'll fetch the spanking machine. :zoinks:
-
I'll fetch the spanking machine. :zoinks:
No need for a machine, just get a whip :eyelash:
-
I'll fetch the spanking machine. :zoinks:
No need for a machine, just get a whip :eyelash:
Hush up. I'm the boss. :zoinks:
-
No no no no no.
-
No no no no no.
I'll get my whip :eyelash:
-
I'll beat you
to with it.
-
I'll beat you to with it.
I'll be the only one who does the beating :eyelash:
-
Hey, you're a feisty one. :zoinks:
-
Hey, you're a feisty one. :zoinks:
I know, now bend over :eyelash:
-
You'll get stuck in there.
-
You'll get stuck in there.
I checked up there. I found gold, the lost Ark and two Garfield books. :autism:
-
I checked up there. I found gold, the lost Ark and two Garfield books. :autism:
Quit calling my pussy Garfield. >:(
-
What would you prefer instead?
-
What would you prefer instead?
Captain Maximilian Valentine :M
-
What would you prefer instead?
Captain Maximilian Valentine :M
Your pussy's name is male. :zoinks:
-
What would you prefer instead?
Captain Maximilian Valentine :M
Your pussy's name is male. :zoinks:
I don't have a pussy. I have a big cock. :autism:
-
Did I kill this thread with my cock? :autism:
-
OH GOD KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT
-
Talk dirty to me. :autism:
-
Did you wash that thing?
-
Of course I did. I take good care of it. :M
-
Can you count to five?
-
ADMIN CONSPIRACEH!!!
-
Oh hi there. Shall I get the whip? :autism:
-
I'll get you to obey.
-
Say something bossy and domineering. :zoinks:
-
FEEL THE LURVE
SPREAD THE LURVE :autism:
-
SPREAD THE LURVE :autism:
You want creamy or crunchy? :zoinks:
-
Do you do threesomes babe??
I prefer to watch onesomes. :zoinks:
-
Lets have some fun :zoinks:
-
You should have added: "please".
-
You should have added: "please".
No time for manners when it comes to the likes of sex :M
-
Counting to five is hard?
-
Counting to five is hard?
No time to count. Let's just get this party started :autism:
-
You talk way too much.
-
Are you an organ boner? :zoinks:
-
Shh. Don't talk, just let it happen :eyelash:
-
Okay I'll do charades instead. :zoinks:
-
Okay I'll do charades instead. :zoinks:
Okay. Erm
Film. Two words.
Edward Penisands? :zoinks:
-
You bring out my naughty. :zoinks:
-
You always make me sick. :zoinks:
-
You always make me sick. :zoinks:
Vomit in my mouth :autism:
-
You really are that kinky? :sick:
-
Do you take in strays? :zoinks:
-
What species are you anyway? :zoinks:
-
What species are you anyway? :zoinks:
Does it matter? :eyelash:
-
Was your mother a hamster?
-
Was your mother a hamster?
No, she's a ginger. :M
My father did smell of elderberries though
-
I fart in your direction. :laugh:
-
I fart in your direction. :laugh:
Shall I fetch my Trojan bunny? :thumbup:
-
Just missed it by one
-
I knew it'd be us.
-
I knew it'd be us.
It was bound to happen eventually :dunno:
-
Again, only one too many.
-
Starting to question his understanding.
-
Counting can be very tricky.
-
Especially when sleepy and surprised.
-
You're surprised to see me in my own bedroom? How curious :apondering:
-
You're in my bed, silly. :zoinks:
-
Curiosity in the bedroom rocks! :headbang2:
-
I'm gonna tell my mom. :zoinks:
-
Please God no. :aff:
-
You are really too short.
-
Nobody should have told you.
-
Did you... Drug me!?
-
How far can you count?
-
How far can you count?
As far as you want me to :eyelash:
-
How far can you count?
As far as you want me to :eyelash:
Prove it, just one time.
-
How far can you count?
As far as you want me to :eyelash:
Prove it, just one time.
Depends on what I get in return :eyelash:
-
How far can you count?
As far as you want me to :eyelash:
To five would be nice.
-
How far can you count?
As far as you want me to :eyelash:
Prove it, just one time.
Depends on what I get in return :eyelash:
You will get five words. :zoinks:
-
How far can you count?
As far as you want me to :eyelash:
Prove it, just one time.
Depends on what I get in return :eyelash:
The presumption of computational competence :)
-
Shut up and compute this! :ATM: :eyebrows:
See, even Scrappy can count.
-
I've fucked you up before :M
-
Stop all that dirty talk.
-
Stop all that dirty talk.
Agreed. Less dirty talk, more dirty action :eyebrows:
-
No action, too many words. :headhurts:
-
No action, too many words. :headhurts:
Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2Cti12XBw4#)
-
You and me, big guy. :zoinks:
-
You and me, big guy. :zoinks:
Let's have some fun :eyebrows:
-
Honey, it should be more.
-
I'll provide more than that.
-
I'll provide more than that.
:squiddy:
-
I'll provide more than that.
:squiddy:
Will three lashes be enough?
-
What's your magic lashing number? :zoinks:
-
What's your magic lashing number? :zoinks:
Whatever you want it to be :autism:
-
Wow, you hid Easter eggs.
-
Wow, you hid Easter eggs.
Reach a little further up there. There's a lot more to find. :autism: :eyebrows:
-
It could teach you things.
-
I could teach you things. :zoinks:
-
I could teach you things. :zoinks:
I've got a few tricks up my sleeve. Shall I give you a demonstration? :autism:
-
Let me get my scissors. :mischief:
-
Let me get my scissors. :mischief:
Woah, woah. Slow down there :aff:
-
Finally, you did it right!! :-*
-
Finally, you did it right!! :-*
Get away from me :aff: :GA:
-
I'll fetch the duct tape. :zoinks:
-
Good, he deserves punishment again.
-
Good, he deserves punishment again.
You fetch the video camera. :zoinks:
-
Oh god no :aff:
I need to escape!
(http://www.gifbin.com/bin/052011/1306866467_jumping_out_the_window.gif)
-
There's no escaping duct tape. :zoinks:
-
There's no escaping duct tape. :zoinks:
We'll just see about that :zoinks:
-
No need to escape me. :eyelash:
-
No need to escape me. :eyelash:
As long as you are gentler than the Gopher and Hyke, I don't see a reason to run from you either :eyelash:
-
Boring, tedious, way too extended.
-
Is it better that way?
-
Will you hoist the colours?
-
I'm fed up with flags. No thanks :M
-
I see your poop deck. :zoinks:
-
I see your poop deck. :zoinks:
What do you think? :zoinks:
-
I should check your porthole. :zoinks:
-
Not very nice but OK.
-
I should check your porthole. :zoinks:
NOOOO (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpN3_cEL2W8#)
Not very nice but OK.
Oh thank God it's only you. I thought it was the Gopher or Hyke for a second there. :GA:
-
Your sentences are too long.
-
Your sentences are too long.
It's not the only thing that's too long :eyebrows:
-
Don't poke my eye out. :zoinks:
-
I want to watch this.
-
Good, he deserves punishment again.
You fetch the video camera. :zoinks:
I want to watch this.
Let's watch the tape together.
-
No, no. Bad touch, bad touch :GA: :o
(http://www.gifbin.com/bin/052011/1306866467_jumping_out_the_window.gif)
-
Now prepare to be boarded. :zoinks:
-
Maybe a softer approach. :apondering:
Tickling?
-
Maybe a softer approach. :apondering:
Tickling?
Okay, I can deal with that :)
-
Be still, this might hurt.
-
Be still, this might hurt.
No, let me go :GA:
-
You forgot the magic word. :M
-
You forgot the magic word. :M
Hawking! :aff:
-
Now you forgot four words. :headhurts:
-
Are you gonna eat that? :zoinks:
-
Are you gonna eat that? :zoinks:
Eat what? :aff:
-
I can see your meatballs. :zoinks:
-
I can see your meatballs. :zoinks:
Man of Steel Scream (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g39qP1dxPAw#ws)
-
What time do you open? :zoinks:
-
What time do you open? :zoinks:
Noooo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpN3_cEL2W8#)
Get away from me! Get back! :aff:
-
You get on your back.
-
You get on your back.
Nevah (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsifLPFAxjE#)
-
I hope you have insurance. :zoinks:
-
I hope you have insurance. :zoinks:
(http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/comicsalliance.com/files/2012/03/tumblrm0beomkppg1r5ur0ho1500.gif)
-
The videos do not conform
-
Let's have some fun :eyelash:
-
Every time I check this game out, I either have to respond to S_B or Gopher.
Stop getting my bed.
-
Every time I check this game out, I either have to respond to S_B or Gopher.
Stop getting my bed.
But it's cosy :autism:
-
again?
-_-
-
Neither of you play right
-
Neither of you play right
Wanna go for round two? :autism:
-
(http://cdn.meme.am/instances/400x/27435535.jpg)
-
I'll fetch the elbow grease. :zoinks:
-
oo! I've been wanting gopher fur slippers.
:tooledup:
-
That's some weird foot fetish. :zoinks:
-
That's some weird foot fetish. :zoinks:
You would be dead. And tanned.
-
Fetishes are good for you.
-
Neither of you play right
Wanna go for round two? :autism:
:party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party: :party:
-
That's some weird foot fetish. :zoinks:
You would be dead. And tanned.
:(
-
:(
Want to talk about it?
:hug:
-
Don't worry, I prefer living Bovines. :P
-
:(
Want to talk about it?
:hug:
Can you teach them counting? :hyke:
-
I'll tell them to read (http://www.intensitysquared.com/index.php/topic,11935.msg514018.html#msg514018).
-
I'll tell them to read (http://www.intensitysquared.com/index.php/topic,11935.msg514018.html#msg514018).
Does that ever really work?
-
You again? Do you want me to put on some sexy music to put you in the mood? :eyelash:
-
You again? Do you want me to put on some sexy music to put you in the mood? :eyelash:
If you do it right
-
You again? Do you want me to put on some sexy music to put you in the mood? :eyelash:
If you do it right
I have three in mind
Bon Jovi - Wanted Dead Or Alive (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRvCvsRp5ho#)
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ9rUzIMcZQ#)
Hodor (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0nS8u6Td5I#ws)
Pick your favourite :autism:
-
Can you count to five?
-
Counting in bed, no fun.
-
I can see five limbs. :o
-
He got the first right!
-
I see your actus reus. :zoinks:
-
But my mens rea's lacking
-
Keep me on my toes.
-
Keep me on my toes.
Okey dokey :autism:
-
Get out of this bedroom. :chainsaw:
-
But my hands are warm. :zoinks:
-
There are rules to this?
-
I can see your cockpit. :zoinks:
-
How are you still living?
:stick:
-
You've got a smart ass.
-
You've got a smart ass.
Thank you :eyelash:
-
Are those your lucky charms? :zoinks:
-
Are those your lucky charms? :zoinks:
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9ktdt3ofv1rswnafo2_500.gif)
-
Today is your lucky day. :mischief:
-
Today is your lucky day. :mischief:
:aff:
-
Totally lost for words now?
-
Totally lost for words now?
Run away! :GA:
-
You are three words short.
-
You are three words short.
Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away!
Is that better? :GA:
-
You don't understand this game. :nerdy:
-
You don't understand this game. :nerdy:
It's not that I don't understand the game, the games does not understand me :M
-
You'll have your lobotomy today. :probe:
-
You'll have your lobotomy today. :probe:
No, I won't
(http://www.gifbin.com/bin/052011/1306866467_jumping_out_the_window.gif)
-
The Scrappy One can't count.
-
I don't actually know you.
-
Don't let it stop you.
-
Prepare for the metal detector. :zoinks:
-
You lied about your species.
-
Prepare for the metal detector. :zoinks:
Noooo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpN3_cEL2W8#)
You lied about your species.
When I told you I was an asshole I didn't mean it literally. :M
-
You lied about your species.
You lied about your phylum. :zoinks:
When I told you I was an asshole I didn't mean it literally. :M
I'll call you the turdinator. :zoinks:
-
They couldn't destroy my prototype.
-
They couldn't destroy my prototype.
I can destroy anything :eyebrows:
-
This bedroom isn't big enough.
-
It's big enough if you lay on top of me. :zoinks:
-
How about we play proctologist? :zoinks:
-
You're supposed to be dead. -_-
-
Playing dead won't help you.
-
Playing dead will help you. :zoinks:
-
You'd make a good football... :apondering:
-
S'up. :M
-
Spread them and be still.
-
S'up. :M
http://youtu.be/de0Beo16fqI (http://youtu.be/de0Beo16fqI)
-
S'up. :M
http://youtu.be/de0Beo16fqI (http://youtu.be/de0Beo16fqI)
(https://aimeedavisjourno.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/confused-face.gif)
What the hell does that have to do with anything?
-
Try it, you'll like it.
-
Try it, you'll like it.
What, counting to five? Why try learning something I already learnt to do when I was a toddler? :dunno:
-
Try it, you'll like it.
What, counting to five? Why try learning something I already learnt to do when I was a toddler? :dunno:
Because it is super fun
-
Cover yourself, for fucks sake.
-
Do you come here often? :zoinks:
-
I come here to kill. :fatchef:
-
Careful with that axe, Eugene. :zoinks:
-
I come here to kill. :fatchef:
I am very difficult to kill. :jedi:
-
I come here to kill. :fatchef:
I am very difficult to kill. :jedi:
Even more difficult to preserve. :zoinks:
-
Do you not recognise me?
-
I'll be your breast friend. :zoinks:
-
You were an udder disappointment. :hyke:
-
We could cause udder mayhem. :zoinks:
-
What are we waiting for? :mischief:
-
Udder udder boob boob tit.
-
I heard promises of mood music awhile back?
-
...the person above you in this thread, what would you say- in EXACTLY FIVE WORDS?
Since I'm starting and therefore nobody is above me, I'll just give an example of what I'd say if I woke up naked and alone:
'Oh god, I'm so lonely."
:zoinks:
-
...the person above you in this thread, what would you say- in EXACTLY FIVE WORDS?
Since I'm starting and therefore nobody is above me, I'll just give an example of what I'd say if I woke up naked and alone:
'Oh god, I'm so lonely."
:zoinks:
Yeah, that's what I usually say when I wake up.
-
Oh hi there. What are you doing here? :M
-
...the person above you in this thread, what would you say- in EXACTLY FIVE WORDS?
Since I'm starting and therefore nobody is above me, I'll just give an example of what I'd say if I woke up naked and alone:
'Oh god, I'm so lonely."
:zoinks:
Yeah, that's what I usually say when I wake up.
Now you have gopher companys. :zoinks:
Oh hi there. What are you doing here? :M
I was only looking. Promise. :angel:
-
I want more than that.
-
What are you up to?
-
What are you up to?
Counting to five :M
-
On the count of five... :mischief:
-
On the count of five... :mischief:
Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur? :apondering:
-
I see your hard drive. :zoinks:
-
Computer geeks turn you on?
-
Computer geeks turn you on?
Among other things :eyelash:
-
Short on words and action? :zombiefuck:
-
Words do not come easy.
-
May I unzip your files? :zoinks:
-
You are a dirty gopher.
-
Ignore the muddy paw prints. :zoinks:
-
Take them off, will you.
-
Thank heavens. A change from GG.
-
There's always Paris, you know.
-
I prefer Balmoral.
-
I prefer to be immoral. :zoinks:
-
You got what you wanted.
-
I hate crisps in bed. :GA:
-
But beer is fine, right? :zoinks:
-
I'm stuck to the sheets.
-
I'm stuck to the sheets.
How am I able to wash them then? :zombiefuck:
-
Let's get a sheety shower.
-
Let's get a sheety shower.
Fuck that :GA:
-
You can have the sheet.
-
You can have the sheet.
But you're stuck to it! :aff:
-
You are such a prude. :M
-
Which teat did I suck last night?
-
All of them, my dear. :bounce:
-
All of them? Surely you mean "both of them" as there are only two teats?
Unless you have more than two :aff:
-
Do I smell fresh meat? :zoinks:
-
Do I smell fresh meat? :zoinks:
(http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/TropeLecter_5073.jpg)
-
Should I repair that crack? :zoinks:
-
Should I repair that crack? :zoinks:
What crack :aff:
-
Still hasn't figured it out?
-
He thinks he is tough. :M
-
He thinks he is tough. :M
Nope, I know I'm a little bitch :GA:
-
Make me a sandwich, bitch. :zoinks:
-
Make me a sandwich, bitch. :zoinks:
Yes master :autism:
-
Sudo make me a sandwich.
-
Now play with your laptop. :zoinks:
-
Now play with your laptop. :zoinks:
Yes master :autism:
-
Please do count to five.
-
I'm here to rescue you. :zoinks:
-
I'm here to rescue you. :zoinks:
Rescue me from what? :zoinks:
-
I'm here to rescue you. :zoinks:
Rescue me from what? :zoinks:
The monster under the bed. :zoinks:
-
I'm here to rescue you. :zoinks:
Rescue me from what? :zoinks:
The monster under the bed. :zoinks:
The monsters moved out from under the bed a long time ago. They took up jobs in politics. :autism:
-
Weren't you under the bed?
-
Can I be on it?
-
What would you do there?
-
Wouldn't you like to know? :eyelash:
-
I'd like to sleep now.
-
No rest for the wicked. :zoinks:
-
Let's see if you're ticklish. :mischief:
-
No, sorry, I am not. :M
-
Does tickling make you relax?
-
Why don't we find out? :eyelash:
-
Hey, quit touching my butt. :zoinks:
-
Where to touch you instead?
-
Touch me instead of Gary.
-
Touch us both at once. :zoinks:
-
Fine then, I'll touch myself. >:(
-
Fine then, I'll touch myself. >:(
And I'll watch :autism:
-
No, you touch yourself too. :zoinks:
-
No, you touch yourself too. :zoinks:
Make me :autism:
-
Are you touchy about touching?
-
Are you touchy about touching?
Are you touchy about touchy about touching? :autism:
-
Are you touchy about touching?
Are you touchy about touchy about touching? :autism:
Afraid nobody would touch you? :zoinks:
-
Fetch my ten foot pole. :zoinks:
-
I'll bring medical gloves too. :M
-
Take those gloves off and hold me. :zoinks:
-
Is that what you want?
-
Is that what you want?
Yeah :eyelash:
-
Is that what you want?
Yeah :eyelash:
This will hurt. A lot.
-
This isn't 50 Shades of Grey you know.
-
It's five shades of words. :M
-
Thank heavens! You're not Caitlin Jenner.
-
Of course I'm not :autism:
-
Now we have two cheaters :)
-
Let's make some bad decisions. :zoinks:
-
Let's make some bad decisions. :zoinks:
Maybe not. My parents made plenty of bad decisions :autism:
-
Try to increase your nudity. :zoinks:
-
This isn't 50 Shades of Grey you know.
This is 50 shades of Gary.
-
This is 50 shades of Gary.
Welcome to the animal kingdom. :eyelash:
-
That's mostly black and white. :P
-
I can see your phylum. :zoinks:
-
Stop perving you little monster.
-
Stop perving you little monster.
Make me :autism: :eyelash:
-
Let's stop drop and roll. :zoinks:
-
Quit yelling out the window and shag me.
-
We should probably stretch first. :zoinks:
-
Alright. I'll stretch all of my five limbs. :eyebrows:
-
Don't pull them too harshly. :zoinks:
-
Don't pull them too harshly. :zoinks:
How about you pull on them then :eyebrows: :autism:
-
I'll go fetch my pliers. :zoinks:
-
I'll go fetch my pliers. :zoinks:
AHAHAHAHAHHAHA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g39qP1dxPAw)
(http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Jumping-Out-of-Window.gif)
-
Do you have sleeping problems?
-
Your horns are poking me.
-
All in the right places. :M
-
Oh dear god no :aff:
-
God can't help you here. :zoinks:
-
God can't help you here. :zoinks:
But don't despair, we can. :voodoo:
-
God can't help you here. :zoinks:
But don't despair, we can. :voodoo:
NOOOOOOO (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpN3_cEL2W8)
-
Let's play name that smell. :zoinks:
-
Is that what you want? :-\
-
We could pillow fight instead. :zoinks:
-
Hump the pillow by yourself. :P
-
Oh God no, not you :aff:
-
Just there and think of England. Or any other country you'd like to screw.
-
Let's hump the pillows together. :zoinks:
-
I'm shaving G G on your ass
-
I'm shaving G G on your ass
Was that a booty call? :zoinks:
-
Get out of my way.
-
Mrs. Odeon likes me here. :zoinks:
-
Good grief! Gopher fur in my tea again. Lady Weeble, get in here now and bring my gun.
-
It's about counting to five.
-
It's about counting to five.
No it's not. It's about counting to whatever damn number I want! :zoinks:
-
Then leave my bed now.
-
Then leave my bed now.
This is my bed :grrr:
-
No, it is my bed. :hyke:
-
I'm in all the beds. :zoinks:
-
Stop chewing up the pillows.
-
At least don't touch mine.
-
Oh look, I'm touching it. :zoinks:
-
Can you be gentle? :eyelash:
-
You'll find out; bend over!
-
Nice. Slow down. Less teeth!
-
I heard you like teeth. :zoinks:
-
That's supposed to be secret.
-
Bite me and find out. :P
-
Play me like one of your French girls.
-
Scratch my butt
-
I can scratch Ducky's butt!! :woohoo:
-
Just don't scratch mine :aff:
-
Would you scratch my butt?
-
May I take photos too? :zoinks:
-
Of my butt? You perv. :zoinks:
-
You like the pervy scratching. :zoinks:
-
You hope I do, right?
-
The photos will prove it. :zoinks:
-
No photos! :aff:
-
But photos document our love. :eyelash:
-
Shit, we broke the camera. I told you not to put it there.
-
Light can be so dangerous.
-
Then fumble in the dark. :zoinks:
-
I am not afraid of the darkness, but what lurks in it :autism:
-
Do not fear the serpent. :zoinks:
-
I do this for me. :M
-
I'll watch you do you. :zoinks:
-
Pervy hairballs aren't allowed in. :M
-
I'm the party crashing type. :zoinks:
-
The PR asks if she can be your chipmunk.
-
The PR asks if she can be your chipmunk.
We can act nutty together. :zoinks:
(http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5fpdeaMhc1qf4qpho1_500.gif)
-
Is that what you want?
-
Too hot, keep your distance.
-
Keep yours! Get outta my bed! :autism:
-
My bed; I just farted. :M
-
It's mine! Get out! :autism:
-
Ahhhh, you love my odours. :eyelash: :eyelash: :eyelash:
-
Sorry but I must leave.
-
Tied up people can't leave. :zoinks:
-
Tied up people can't leave. :zoinks:
I'm not tied up. But you will be :autism:
-
I prefer duct tape best. :zoinks:
-
I prefer duct tape best. :zoinks:
I'll wax you with it. :eyebrows:
-
I prefer duct tape best. :zoinks:
I'll wax you with it. :eyebrows:
Noooo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpN3_cEL2W8)
-
Are you wearing Gopher Gary's sister?
-
Are you wearing Gopher Gary's sister?
Good heavens no. :aff:
-
Exactly how easy are you? :zoinks:
-
Duct tape makes everything easy. :zoinks:
-
Let's negate some warranties together. :zoinks:
-
Let's negate some warranties together. :zoinks:
(https://fangirlingthroughfiction.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/horrified-face.jpg?w=640)
-
That's a thousand words wasted.
-
Do you spit or swallow? :zoinks:
-
I'm cold Gary be my blanket :zoinks:
-
Plug your butt with Gary? :o
-
Get away from me you fracking Cylon! :aff:
-
The force is with you.
-
Let's violate the jedi code. :zoinks:
-
Let's violate the jedi code. :zoinks:
And join the Sith?
-
Let's violate the jedi code. :zoinks:
And join the Sith?
What color is your lightsaber? :zoinks:
-
Let's violate the jedi code. :zoinks:
And join the Sith?
What color is your lightsaber? :zoinks:
Red, the same colour your arsehole is going to be when I'm done with you. :eyebrows: :eyelash:
-
Let's violate the jedi code. :zoinks:
And join the Sith?
What color is your lightsaber? :zoinks:
Red, the same colour your arsehole is going to be when I'm done with you. :eyebrows: :eyelash:
Evil penis person!
-
Penises are only rarely evil.
-
Don't talk, I need sleep.
-
I am the cow whisperer. :zoinks:
-
I am the cow whisperer. :zoinks:
I don't care who you are, your arsehole is mine! :autism:
-
Let's light each other's farts. :zoinks:
-
Stop farting in my bed.
-
Why? Bovine farts are amazing.
-
I prefer duct tape best. :zoinks:
I'll wax you with it. :eyebrows:
Got any fresh milk for me?
-
I prefer duct tape best. :zoinks:
I'll wax you with it. :eyebrows:
Got any fresh milk for me?
Nope, I'm long time retired.
-
Nope, I'm long time retired.
I'll fetch the prune juice. :zoinks:
-
Nope, I'm long time retired.
I'll fetch the prune juice. :zoinks:
(http://images.tribe.net/tribe/upload/photo/c95/f80/c95f806e-68d7-490d-aff5-327dbff20a64)
-
Are you winking at me? :zoinks:
-
Cover your eyes, you perv.
-
You want me blindfolded, perv? :zoinks:
-
My magnificence will blind you.
-
Your ego will crush me. :zoinks:
-
Honestly, not much to crush. :smarty:
-
Fortunately I wear a helmet. :zoinks:
-
You should wear full armour.
-
Then call me Sir Gopherlot. :zoinks:
-
Small dark and hairy :eyebrows:
-
Tall dark and hot chicky. :zoinks:
-
Are you winking at me? :zoinks:
Want to find out what's under that eyepatch :eyelash:
-
Do you have enough rum? :zoinks:
-
Don't you ever get out of bed? Every time I look, you're here.
-
I'm good at being lazy. :zoinks:
-
I'm good at being lazy. :zoinks:
You won't be lazy when I'm around. :eyelash:
-
I'm good at being lazy. :zoinks:
You won't be lazy when I'm around. :eyelash:
I'll supervise while you work. :zoinks:
-
I'm good at being lazy. :zoinks:
You won't be lazy when I'm around. :eyelash:
I'll supervise while you work. :zoinks:
Are you going to watch me? :autism:
-
Nope. It's better if I'm blindfolded.
-
Nope. It's better if I'm blindfolded.
But I want to look you in the eyes :autism:
-
Five words, all I'm asking.
-
Five words, all I'm asking.
What is that on your ass cheek?!?! :aff:
-
It is not a calculator. :orly:
-
What are the buttons for?
-
May I push your buttons? :zoinks:
-
Do bodily calculations for fun?
-
Are you going to f my (x)?
aside - Did I get the equation right?
-
I care little for your equations and much more for your fun. :orly:
-
You have nice bone structure. :zoinks:
-
Are you counting the bones?
-
You have more than one? :zoinks:
-
You have more than one? :zoinks:
The human body has 206 bones. Would you like another one? :autism: :eyebrows:
-
You have more than one? :zoinks:
The human body has 206 bones. Would you like another one? :autism: :eyebrows:
... or possibly 4 (two squared, right?) broken?
-
Thank heavens, someone new.
-
I'll be your peasant surprise. :zoinks:
-
Yes, I am that awesome. :zoinks:
-
Agreed
-
Want to have some fun with electricity? :eyebrows: :autism:
-
I'm not a new-fangled girl. Firelight is fine with me.
-
Doesn't have to be Paris.
-
With some bagpipes skirling for mood music?
-
You think bagpipes are romantic? :o
-
I always associate bagpipes with Spock's funeral or Braveheart. I don't think the death of the first officer and Mel Gibson in blue war paint with a Scottish accent cutting down English bastards with a sword are romantic images. :zoinks:
-
You think bagpipes are romantic? :o
Bagpipes are romantic, stirring, inspiring, everything.
-
You think bagpipes are romantic? :o
Bagpipes are romantic, stirring, inspiring, everything.
Well I associate them with death and war so it's not exactly a turn on.
This music is though:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2W1Wi2U9sQ
If you decide to make love to this music, the crescendo is the point of orgasm. :eyelash: :autism:
-
You think bagpipes are romantic? :o
Bagpipes are romantic, stirring, inspiring, everything.
Well I associate them with death and war so it's not exactly a turn on.
This music is though:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2W1Wi2U9sQ
If you decide to make love to this music, the crescendo is the point of orgasm. :eyelash: :autism:
Yes, electricity vs firelight
-
You think bagpipes are romantic? :o
Bagpipes are romantic, stirring, inspiring, everything.
Well I associate them with death and war so it's not exactly a turn on.
This music is though:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2W1Wi2U9sQ
If you decide to make love to this music, the crescendo is the point of orgasm. :eyelash: :autism:
Yes, electricity vs firelight
Don't leave out the batteries.. :zoinks:
-
Do you need batteries yourself?
-
How about glow sticks instead? :zoinks:
-
Those will definitely need batteries.
-
Will your server go down? :zoinks:
-
Down on you, you mean?
-
I'll go fetch my megaphone. :zoinks:
-
I'd appreciate a gag more. :zoinks:
-
Okay then I'll gag you. :zoinks:
-
I meant shutting you up.
-
I doubt that's even possible. :zoinks:
-
Still it's worth a try.
-
Want to see my anal sacs? :zoinks:
-
Lost count for a minute?
-
Apparently I did.
-
You seem lost for words.
-
My, what big horns you have!
-
I'm glad you like them. :hyke:
-
They're both hawt and scary.
-
So did you miss me? :zoinks:
-
No, not in the slightest.
-
I think you missed me. :zoinks:
-
My horns never accidentally miss. :M
-
Point them at the gopher.
-
That makes me feel pointy. :zoinks:
-
Are you ready for another bout? :viking: :orly:
-
Didn't you lean your lesson? :zoinks:
-
Didn't you lean your lesson? :zoinks:
I never learn :autism:
-
you just never had the right teacher. :whipped:
-
Education is a good thing. :zoinks:
-
...the person above you in this thread, what would you say- in EXACTLY FIVE WORDS?
Since I'm starting and therefore nobody is above me, I'll just give an example of what I'd say if I woke up naked and alone:
'Oh god, I'm so lonely."
Rules are for suckers, right?
-
I'll fetch some suction cups. :zoinks:
-
Aren't you a bit ugly? :zoinks:
-
I'll fetch a paper bag. :zoinks:
-
A big box is better. :zoinks:
-
Let's think outside the box. :zoinks:
-
Getting a Gopher a Brazilian...
-
Put that knife away, quick!
-
Not yet, I need you to peel me a grape.
-
I could try peeing grape. :zoinks:
-
Shut up and be still.
-
Wait, you're not Phoenix
-
No worries. Here I am! :eyebrows:
-
Do I look that worried?
-
only because you missed me.
-
I did, in five words.
-
Time to put music on!
-
And to light some candles.
-
What are the candles for? :zoinks:
-
Close your eyes, you'll "see". :eyelash:
-
C'mon baby light my fire
-
C'mon baby light my fire
Almost forgot what to do
-
Just let your hands wander.
-
You're not ticklish are you?
-
Oooooooh, do go on, pleeeeaaase.
(tickling is very relaxing, for me)
-
Just don't do it here.
-
Wait, are you filming this?
-
That's what cameras are for. :zoinks:
-
Get my good side please. :orly:
-
I'll go fetch my endoscope. :zoinks:
-
Can I use it first :autism:
-
This is a little bothersome...
-
Two dogs AND you?
-
Hope you don't mind fur...
-
Didn't you notice gopher hair?
-
Is THAT what it is? :zombiefuck:
-
Come on, fuck me with all of the power of the Phoenix force! :autism:
-
That's more than 5 words :P
-
I think you mean inches! :CanofWorms:
-
Did you bring the worms? :zombiefuck:
-
No to worms and Zombies!!!
-
Why are you against zombies?
-
Decaying doesn't turn me on :P
-
But rotting limbs are hawt.
-
Not hawt when it smells :tinfoil:
-
Shake your tail feathers, Baby.
-
Ack! I'm allergic to feathers! *achoo*
-
Hey, that is six words.
-
Sound effects are not words :M
-
They can be very motivating.
-
May I graze your field? :zoinks:
-
If it tickles real good.
-
I'll be the big spoon
-
I'll fetch my wooden spoon. :zoinks:
-
Shagging a gopher is illegal! :hide:
-
Or at least should be.
-
Hugging cows is therapeutic, apparently.
-
For the cow, I presume?
-
And for the cow hugger
-
Mmmm, I knew you'd understand.
-
Mmmm, I knew you'd understand.
I think it's pasture bedtime. :zoinks:
-
You make good cow jokes
-
Mooh over, more puns here.
-
Horns don't pun, they pin. :viking:
-
It's brave to be pinned.
-
Are you brave for cocks? :zoinks:
-
I Gopher cock brave enough?
-
Oh yes, yes you do! :zoinks:
-
Don't you ever get up?
-
Do it. Do it already.
-
Wasn't once enough for you?
-
Let's snuggle before you sleep.
-
Do we have to sleep?
-
You've got plans for us?
-
Nothing that involves video. Promise.
-
Lights
Camera
Action
Action
Action
-
I threw my back out.
-
Let's make our buttholes kiss. :zoinks:
-
You've got an anal fascination.
-
Sorry, I have a headache :P
-
It's more fun that way.
-
Shouldn't have made you chili.
-
What time do you open? :zoinks:
-
Sorry. On a lunch break.
-
Where's the fun in that?
-
I worked up an appetite :zoinks:
-
Did I make you rise from the ashes? :autism:
-
Sorry, I smell like smoke :laugh:
-
Have you met my butt? :zoinks:
-
It's your only good side.
-
It's your only good side.
It's also my fun side. :zoinks:
-
Didn't know you had one.
-
Off to the hot tub :thumbup:
-
I'll go fetch my luffa. :zoinks:
-
No pictures please! I'm naked.
-
Mind if I squeeze them? :zoinks:
-
My dogs? They bite though.
-
So you don't mind drool? :zoinks:
-
I'm all alone in bed. >:(
-
>:(
-
Why are you not naked?
-
You want the gopher naked? :o
-
It would end the shedding.
-
Don't want to watch this.
-
Lay back, close your eyes. >:D
-
Please be gentle with me.
-
The voices like your skin. :zoinks:
-
I like my skin too.
-
Gopher might take your skin :tinfoil:
-
You're moulting all over me.
-
Care to have a smoke?
-
Oh, that's what it is.
-
I thought I smelled something. :zoinks:
-
There was no smell before.
-
It's not polite to point. :zoinks:
-
This is your lucky day. :zoinks:
-
Want to see my crawlspace? :zoinks:
-
:needpics:
:needpics:
:needpics:
:needpics:
:needpics:
-
You're my queen of hearts. :eyelash:
-
Oh, is it you again?
-
You really come here often :eyebrows:
-
Off topic, but I thought :needpics:
said
This thread is worthless without PIGS!
OOPS.
-
But that is six words. :M
-
Pigs don't turn you on?
-
Dreamt about piglets, somewhat disturbing.
-
Growing up to be bacon?
-
No, a female delivering them. :zombiefuck:
-
Well yes, that is disturbing :tinfoil:
-
Scared to sleep alone now. :tard:
-
You have me for company. :zoinks:
-
The definition of scary, that.
-
I'm skilled in handling organs. :zoinks:
-
When their owner still breathes?
-
Hey, did someone say breasts? :zoinks:
-
I don't mind more boobs.
-
I don't mind more boobs.
I'll give you a breast exam. :zoinks:
-
Lost the ability to count?
-
Man boobies count as boobs. :zoinks:
-
No, not in my book.
-
Then read me a story. :zoinks:
-
Then read me a story. :zoinks:
Once upon a time, get on your knees and suck you little bitch! :autism: :eyelash:
-
Then read me a story. :zoinks:
Once upon a time, get on your knees and suck you little bitch! :autism: :eyelash:
A juicy young boy
-
I can share young boyz? :zoinks:
-
What are you on about?
-
10 inches of steamy love?
-
Nothing to do with love.
-
I'll go fetch the antibiotics. :zoinks:
-
You've got a rash, again?
-
I need help reaching it. :zoinks:
-
Your scratching kept me awake.
-
Your scratching kept me awake.
Warm milk
-
May I borrow a feather? :eyelash:
-
duck
-
I'll take the whole duck. :zoinks:
-
Was trying to get the emote.
-
I always thought duck tasted like shit. So many like it but it tastes really tinny to me.
"You just have to cook it the right way"
Yeah right. I've tried it every way I can find.
-
I refuse to eat duck I feel I'm betraying my babies I used to have.
-
Count to five, will you. >:(
-
Is it hot in here? :zoinks:
-
Keep that fur on, you.
-
Wanna see my bald spot? :zoinks:
-
Blind Naked Molerat for me.
-
This bed is too crowded.
-
I'll lurk under the bed. :zoinks:
-
Don't disturb the other monsters.
-
Don't disturb the other monsters.
Will they make me scream? :zoinks:
-
Don't disturb the other monsters.
Will they make me scream? :zoinks:
Just don't wake them, OK?
-
I found a joy stick. :zoinks:
-
You make dust bunnies happy.
-
I found a joy stick. :zoinks:
Stick it up your arse. :zoinks:
-
You like the freaky stuff? :zoinks:
-
Ye gods and little fishes! :fish2:
-
Fishes in the bed? Kinky!
-
It's so cold and wet.
-
So, warm me up, Hyke.
-
With warm udders and methane. :M
-
This bed needs more cowbell. :zoinks:
-
Could you clang quieter, please?
-
You make my drawbridge rise. :zoinks:
-
Looks more like a speedbump.
-
A stop sign from hell.
-
Mind if I squeeze them? :zoinks:
-
Are you related to Phil?
-
Isn't three a crowd here?
-
The more the merrier sex.
-
Are you into that stuff?
-
More importantly, you into me?
-
Prince Albert likes me here. :zoinks:
-
Yeah, as a scientific curiosity.
-
Better leave the furball outside.
-
Wanna see my hairball collection? :zoinks:
-
No, I don't. Not really.
-
Will you fill my stockings? :zoinks:
-
Will you fill my stockings? :zoinks:
"Mmmm....beaver...."WHAT NOOOooooo....Not Gopher!!!!"
-
I can see your cocktail. :zoinks:
-
Shake it and stir it.
-
Shake it and stir it.
Fondlely and gropey
-
Add two words to that.
-
Shake it and stir it.
Fondlely and gropey
Fondley and Gropey and Adventurous?
-
You're getting into the spirit.
-
Prefer he'd get into me.
-
How could I possibly refuse?
-
I see your manhole too. :zoinks:
-
Don't get in my way.
-
I'll just lurk behind you. :zoinks:
-
NOT BEHIND! NOT BEHIND! NOT.....................................
-
May I warm my hands? :zoinks:
-
Did you clip your nails?
-
Did you clip your nails?
Not a gun, no pockets
-
Get up; sheet changing time.
-
Chocolate milk please
-
not in the bed, surely.
-
Hey you snore really loud. :zoinks:
-
I'm allergic to your fur.
-
Then quit sniffing my fur. :zoinks:
-
Down! I'm clipping your nails.
-
I'll pole vault to you
-
You and me should talk.
-
Who are you talking to?
-
It's time to sleep, hyke.
-
I'll observe you sleeping, Hyke. :zoinks:
-
Did you enjoy watching me?
-
Pervs will be pervs, right?
-
Takes one to know one. :zoinks:
-
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzzzzzzz
-
Do you consider those words?
-
You call that a haircut? :zoinks:
-
I guess you need glasses.
-
I'm already wearing your glasses. :zoinks:
-
You're blurry around the edges. :P
-
You're blurry around the edges. :P
Gopher is furry, not blurry. :M
-
you're rolling off the bed!
-
you're rolling off the bed!
Don't worry, I won't fall. :cbc: ( I hope not. Last time was enough.)
-
you're rolling off the bed!
Don't worry, I won't fall. :cbc: ( I hope not. Last time was enough.)
My arms will wrap around
-
you're rolling off the bed!
Don't worry, I won't fall. :cbc: ( I hope not. Last time was enough.)
Stop wobbling or you will.
-
Hey, are those things real? :zoinks:
-
Are you real, little furball?
-
Blond hair on your pillow?
-
Mmmmmmmmmmmm, warm milk in bed.
-
I can see your crumpets. :zoinks:
-
They are strumpet trumpet crumpets.
-
What the hell are those?
-
What the hell are those? :zoinks:
-
What the hell are you?
-
Whatever the hell you want. :zoinks:
-
Haven't I met you before? :autism:
-
Did you spike my drink?
-
Can you offer me one?
-
Hey, did you miss me? :zoinks:
-
MIss you? You are dreaming.
-
Pinch me if I'm dreaming. :zoinks:
-
Don't wanna wake you up.
-
I'm cute when I sleep. :eyelash:
-
I need a stiff drink.
-
That's the only thing you want stiff?
-
On the count of five....
-
Five is a large number.
-
It is a beautiful number.
-
And it feels just right.
-
So much can be said.
-
Five words can do miracles.
-
Good night to you, Odeon.
-
Good night to you too.
-
I thank you very much.
-
The pleasure is all mine.
-
As usual. Leave the woman unsatisfied.
-
When are women ever satisfied? :zoinks:
-
With the right gopher we're satisfied.
-
I'm cute when I sleep. :eyelash:
My mama don't like you, and she likes everyone. :trollface:
That's from a Justin Beiber song. :tard:
-
Have they stopped counting words?
-
Have they stopped counting words?
Why should Beiber count words? :M :P
-
Want to see my kumquat? :zoinks:
-
Want to see my kumquat? :zoinks:
Want to meet my chainsaw? :chainsaw:
-
Want to ride my dinghy. :zoinks:
-
your dinghy looks awfully dingy.
-
Can't think of suitable words.
-
Wanna come inside my rectory? :zoinks:
-
Auto correct failed?
-
Three words won't do here.
-
Three words won't do here.
They will. She's the Queen! :queenie:
-
Why do I smell eggs? :zoinks:
-
maybe because you are ovulating?
-
Was I any good? :dunno:
-
I prefer when you're bad. :zoinks:
-
I prefer when you're bad. :zoinks:
How bad do you want me to be? :eyelash:
-
I prefer when you're bad. :zoinks:
How bad do you want me to be? :eyelash:
You could mime for me. :zoinks:
-
Warning: Everybody fucking hates mimes. :trollskull:
-
I'll hit anyone who mimes.
-
Just keep your mouth shut.
-
Are you ready to rock? :zoinks:
-
I am ready to roll. :P
-
Want some butter on it?
-
Honk if you like gophers. :zoinks:
-
Thank heavens my horn's broken.
-
There's more broken than that.
-
Pick up the pieces, please.
-
Not that kind of broken.
-
I'll go fetch my screwdriver. :zoinks:
-
I'll go fetch my screwdriver. :zoinks:
Vodka and orange juice, why? :P
-
CBC will bring the Vaseline.
-
That is bound to hurt.
-
Hey did someone say bound? :zoinks:
-
Don't get your knickers in a twist. It makes sex difficult.
-
Oh, just spread em already.
-
I can see your hardware. :zoinks:
-
I can see your hardware. :zoinks:
So you know the truth then...You must be assimilated.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItHcsIHshhs
-
I see your software too. :zoinks:
-
Are you here to watch?
-
Are you here to watch?
Watch, no? I am here to fuck. :eyebrows:
-
Count to five and join.
-
I can see your hotspot. :zoinks:
-
Perving doesn't make you attractive.
-
Perving doesn't make you attractive.
I can try, can't I? :eyelash:
-
I prefer unattractive perving best. :zoinks:
-
Someone get back in bed. >:(
-
Someone get back in bed. >:(
Not you again. :aff:
-
Hey look, it's you again. :zoinks:
-
Hey look, it's you again. :zoinks:
You wanna play? :eyelash:
-
I'll go fetch my dominos. :zoinks:
-
I'll go fetch my dominos. :zoinks:
And I'll shove them up your ass for you. :eyelash:
-
Just don't insert them sideways. :zoinks:
-
Just don't insert them sideways. :zoinks:
I'll insert them however I damn well want to. :M
-
Dig out the stuck ones. :zoinks:
-
No, I DON'T want to play!
-
Not even play with me? :eyelash:
-
Not even play with me? :eyelash:
Sure, why not? :autism:
-
I meant QV, you dork.
-
I never fuck someone who has blue balls, just blue blood.
-
Heyoo. :eyelash:
-
Start by counting to five. >:(
-
Hey I want a refund. :zoinks:
-
Tough shit, get on your knees. :eyebrows:
-
A little prayer never hurt anyone. :angel:
-
Let's break some commandments together. :zoinks:
-
On my command, let's go.
-
We can do tongues together. :zoinks:
-
You stick yours out first.
-
Sorry but that's not attractive.
-
Sorry but that's not attractive.
Then let's try something else, shall we? :eyebrows:
-
Let's start a counting game.
-
I'm in a frisky mooood. :zoinks:
-
I will call pest control.
-
Now don't have a cow. :zoinks:
-
A cow could stampede you. :hahaha: :trollskull:
-
Only when they're being jerky. :zoinks:
-
Beats whatever gophers can do.
-
Gophers have very nimble paws. :zoinks:
-
Only when they're being jerky. :zoinks:
Gophers make nice chewy jerky. :trollskull:
-
I'd grab my trusty little embroidery scissors and restyle Gopher into a fashionable cover.
-
I'm allergic to gopher fur.
-
Yeah, but I'll have fun scratching your itch.
-
Why doesn't five matter anymore?
-
What's with all the clothing? :zoinks:
-
What's with all the clothing? :zoinks:
Here, put this coat on. (http://fridaynightgirl.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/classic-straight-jacket.jpg?w=121&h=150) :zoinks:
-
Hey I'm just mentally creative. :zoinks:
-
Hey I'm just mentally creative. :zoinks:
And a menace to society. :police:
-
And I'm really cute too. :zoinks:
-
Still, a menace to society.
-
And a menace in bed.
-
Will you tell the details?
-
Too explicit to divulge here
-
Did you feel the bern? :zoinks:
-
So no politics in bed? :dunno:
-
Want to discuss today's referendum?
-
Today we discuss metopic ridges. :M
-
Wobble closer in this direction. :zoinks:
-
Wobble closer in this direction. :zoinks:
Careful what you wish for. :sumo:
-
Just be careful, I'm fragile. :zoinks:
-
Just be careful, I'm fragile. :zoinks:
You'll make a nice doorstop. :hahaha: :trollface:
-
I need a fluffy pillow. :emosad:
-
I need a fluffy pillow. :emosad:
You are a fluffy pillow. :hahaha: :trollface:
-
Then will you fluff me? :zoinks:
-
Can't think of five words.
-
May I use your hotspot? :zoinks:
-
Go away, trying to sleep.
-
Go away, trying to sleep.
*patiently watches while Odeon sleeps* :zoinks:
-
Come with us, fuzzy stalker. :police: (http://images.bravenet.com/common/images/smilies/gopher.gif) :police:
-
Tickets to the Policeman's balls?
-
Tickets to the Policeman's balls?
He's in full body restraints. :police:
-
Kinky stuff, without the fur. :zoinks:
-
You're sort of furry too. :zoinks:
-
You know you love it. :zoinks:
-
Behave! Think of the children! :police:
-
England. England? England?! England! England!
-
May I see your jewels. :zoinks:
-
You must say "Pretty please."
-
May I see your prettyplease. :zoinks:
-
My please isn't pretty, it's gorgeous.
-
What did you call it? :-\
-
What do you call that? :zoinks:
-
Stay there for a minute and let me grab the TV remote. :eyebrows:
-
Guess where the remote is. :zoinks:
-
Guess where the remote is. :zoinks:
I should know, I'm the one who stuck it up there in the first place. :eyebrows:
-
Hush up and be still. :zoinks:
-
No way. I'm running now.
-
Wanna see my tan lines? :zoinks:
-
Wanna see my tan lines? :zoinks:
Wanna see my land mines? :trollskull:
-
You smell different while awake. :zoinks:
-
You smell different while awake. :zoinks:
You're smelling my adrenaline spike. :trollskull:
-
Where you gonna spike me? :zoinks:
-
Where you gonna spike me? :zoinks:
You'll find out, little fool. :trollface:
-
Let's have something to drink.
-
Let's have something to drink.
I suggest Tums and water. :M :police:
-
Your lips look sorta lonely. :-*
-
That's the BEST line I've heard in a hell of a long time.
-
That's the BEST line I've heard in a hell of a long time.
Let's leave the lights on. :zoinks:
-
I'll bind and blindfold you.
-
Beware those snaggly gopher teeth! :tard:
-
Wanna wobble inside me? :eyebrows:
-
Let's wobble outside, full clothed! :angel:
-
Your butt crack looks cozy. :zoinks:
-
Your butt crack looks cozy. :zoinks:
Your fuzzy coat looks flammable. :flamer:
-
I offer free gynecological exams. :zoinks:
-
I offer free gynecological exams. :zoinks:
And I do free taxidermy. :trollskull:
-
You've got bizarre bedside manners.
-
I have some latex gloves. :zoinks:
-
I have some latex gloves. :zoinks:
I have a plastic bag. :trollskull:
-
There is a river nesarby. :zoinks:
-
Are we going to skinnydip? :zoinks:
-
Is the dip Ranch dip?
-
Gophers cooked in ranch dressing ... :drool:
-
Does Gordon Ramsey work in this bedroom? What would he say about that dish?
-
Will you scratch my back? :eyelash:
-
:bonban: It's the closest thing we have. Use it on your back or anywhere else that suits your appetite.
-
Say it in five words.
-
banana up your ass, okay?
-
banana up your ass, okay?
That's five words, I counted. :bonban:
-
Fruit is good for you.
-
Aren't you grapeful I'm here? :zoinks:
-
Aren't you grapeful I'm here? :zoinks:
Orange you pushing your luck? :oranna: :trollskull:
-
Lemon me out of here.
-
I can be your cutecumber. :zoinks:
-
Shush now. Eat your veggies.
-
Fatty gophers can't have donuts. :trollface:
-
I make holes more fun. :zoinks:
-
I make holes more fun. :zoinks:
I make holes in gophers. :litigious:
-
No need for violence here.
-
Just doing some light housekeeping. >:D
-
You can scrub me down. :zoinks:
-
Shut up and be still.
-
Are you gonna eat that? :zoinks:
-
That? It is not food.
-
I think we need coffee. :coffee:
-
Fetch me a cup too. :zoinks:
-
Just don't spill your coffee.
-
Let me sleep in, please.
-
Sleeping time is over; arise! :pirate:
-
Mmmm, well hello there couldbe m'ilady ^_^
*purrs against CBC's neck*
-
Use five words, pretty please.
-
Rub my feet, pretty please. :zoinks:
-
Clothes! I NEED MY CLOTHES! ! !
-
They'd be in the way.
-
I gotta call a cab! :runaway: :GA:
-
Want a cabbie in here?
-
Want a cabbie in here?
Waiting on the curb, thanks! :runaway: :GA:
-
Just you and me then.
-
Clothes! You need your clothes.
-
I can keep you warm. :zoinks:
-
I can keep you warm. :zoinks:
Do you mind if my hands are kinda cold? :eyelash:
-
Are you wearing a turtleneck? :zoinks:
-
Ain't gonna hurt at all.
-
It might hurt a little. :zoinks:
-
If you hurt, then fine. :zoinks:
-
Why do you look familiar? :zoinks:
-
You hit me last time.
-
:deadhorse2: :bonban: :whipped: :dom: :poopy:
-
Let's have a burping contest. :zoinks:
-
Bovines don't do burping contests.
-
Then fart contest it is. :zoinks:
-
Everybody get off my lawn! :odeon:
-
I'm hiding in the bush. :zoinks:
-
I'm hiding in the bush. :zoinks:
You can't hide for long. :chainsaw:
-
No chainsaws in bed, dear.
-
Don't be calling me dear. :zoinks:
-
Don't be calling me dear. :zoinks:
She wasn't talking to you. :hahaha: :trollskull:
-
Less talking, more action, dearie.
-
I'm a man of action. :M
-
I'm a gopher of reaction. :zoinks:
-
Gophers aren't my ideal bedmates. :M
-
I could wear a costume. :zoinks:
-
A bag over your head?
-
I could wear your douchebag. :zoinks:
-
You stink, take a shower.
-
May I use your luffa? :zoinks:
-
May you use my what?!?
-
Loofah, to scrub the skin. :bath:
-
Pervy gopher must be dreaming.
-
Pervy gopher must be dreaming.
Gopher can scrub with branches. :M :police:
-
Just you and me now. :eyebrows:
-
Just you and me now. :eyebrows:
Hello, I must be going! :zoinks:
-
Don't stop, this is fun. :zoinks:
-
Want fun? Do my laundry! :laundry: :laundry: :laundry:
-
Are all your clothes... dirty? :zoinks:
-
Kitchen worker's occupational hazard, obviously. :M :P
-
Kitchen table? Fine with me.
-
Tables: for food, not laundry. :fatchef:
-
Who said anything about laundry? :eyebrows:
-
I'm discussing it on Facebook. :M
-
What, your wobbly table adventures?
-
My need to do laundry. :P
-
I'm a load of fun. :zoinks:
-
I'm a load of fun. :zoinks:
Fat fuzzy sack of shit. :heart:
-
That's how you address lovers?
-
Don't you like talking dirty? :zoinks:
-
Go dig yourself another hole. :M :trollface:
-
It is all about holes. :P
-
So "any hole's a goal" ? :zombiefuck:
-
We could do unholy stuff. :zoinks:
-
Repent, the holy Sabbath approaches! :christ:
-
Should I be really sorry?
-
You are forgiven, my son.
-
Wouldn't that make this weird?
-
Isn't it already really weird? :zoinks:
-
Isn't it already really weird? :zoinks:
It can get weirder if you want. :eyelash:
-
I'll go fetch a saddle. :zoinks:
-
You can't ride a unicorn.
-
You'll be sorry in hell! :soapbox:
-
Hell sounds nicer than heaven.
-
Wait till you get there! :soapbox:
-
Sounds kinky enough to me.
-
There's no sex in hell. :trollskull:
-
^could most certainly live with that occurrence.
-
Hey, are you new here? :zoinks:
-
Gophers are pretty darn slutty. (http://smileys.emoticonsonly.com/emoticons/g/gopher-283.gif) :trollface:
-
I think slutty is good.
-
My slutty is highly disingenuous. :zoinks:
-
Define "disingenuous," bet you can't. :hahaha: :trollskull:
-
Your pillow talking is weird. :nerdy:
-
Your pillow talking is weird. :nerdy:
Silly cow, pillows don't talk! :hyke:
-
Have you met my butt? :zoinks:
-
Have you met my butt? :zoinks:
Gopher's butt, meet my shotgun. :tooledup:
-
It's not polite to point. :zoinks:
-
Shit up, let me sleep.
-
Shit up, let me sleep.
Shit up instead of down? :poop: :zoinks:
-
Told you I was sleepy. :zoinks:
-
You sleep and I'll watch. :zoinks:
-
(http://images.lifeandstylemag.com/uploads/photos/file/109317/stewie-griffin-family-guy-quote-1.jpg?crop=top&fit=clip&h=500&w=698)
-
Was that really five words?
-
Is it bonus word time?
-
Five Four Three Two One
-
Hide yourself, I am coming!!!
-
Don't look under the covers.
-
Don't loiter in the yard. :odeon:
-
Okay I'll dig holes instead :zoinks:
-
Okay I'll dig holes instead :zoinks:
Good, you'll be needing one. :death: :trollskull:
-
Okay I'll dig holes instead :zoinks:
Good, you'll be needing one. :death: :trollskull:
Trimming your landing strip again?
-
Nobody lands on my strip. :M :angel:
-
What's that, the landing strip? :P
-
Everybody go land somewhere else! :odeon:
-
I won't lift off yet.
-
<creepy>message: butt glitter</creepy> :zoinks:
-
Tags should not be counted. :M
-
Tags should not be counted. :M
I will tag you on facebook. :zoinks:
-
Tags should not be counted. :M
I will tag you on facebook. :zoinks:
Remember the five-word rule. :P
-
Tags should not be counted. :M
I will tag you on facebook. :zoinks:
Remember the five-word rule. :P
Tag should not be counted, capice?
-
Not the word tag, though.
-
Tag, now you're the It.
-
Time for my second wind. :coffee:
-
I fart in your direction, then.
-
Please obey five-word limit. :police:
-
I'm the Queen. I do what I damn well please. So there. Foot stomp.
-
Please don't leave angry, Ma'am. :GA:
-
Go to sleep, I'll stay.
-
You sleep and I'll video. :zoinks:
-
Only my best side, please.
-
Leave me alone, I'm sleeping.
-
I did not do that.
-
Will you tuck me in?
-
Go the fuck to sleep!
-
We should both do it.
-
OK, let's do it together.
-
On my count? Or yours?
-
Have you started counting too?
-
Didn't you read my posts?
-
Wake up or I'll bite. :zoinks:
-
Go away or face consequences. :M
-
I slept like a dream.
-
You are a beautiful dream.
-
Why thank you, that's nice. :eyelash:
-
I am your humble servant.
-
Will you serve some breakfast? :zoinks:
-
Gopher balls on buttered toast?
-
Thinking about more interesting stuff. :eyebrows:
-
La Reine on a platter?
-
I didn't get that reference. :-\
-
You know you want me.
(Somewhere, anywhere but your bed.)
-
There's a fitting Beatles tune.
-
Yikes, bug spray, bug spray!
-
My fleas wont be pleased. :zoinks:
-
Your fleas carry Yersenia pestis! :litigious:
-
Wanna scratch my itchy spot? :zoinks:
-
I thought you were one.
-
Wanna itch my scratchy spot? :zoinks:
-
Why are you repeating yourself?
-
because you didn't scratch it.
-
I said it different ways. :dunno:
-
Nobody likes to be nagged. :hahaha: :trollface:
-
Get tha nag out of here RIGHT NOW! This isn't a stable.
-
Then let's be unstable together. :zoinks:
-
Let's do it without you. :P
-
Watching is always my favorite. :zoinks:
-
You weren't here last night. :apondering:
-
And you're out of here.
-
Open your bleary eyes. Surprise!!!!
:hyke:
-
I play well with udders. :zoinks:
-
I don't play at all. :M
-
Do I smell party poop? :zoinks:
-
Are you even housebroken yet? :zoinks:
-
Want to train me how? :zoinks:
-
Lay quietly on the tracks. The 11 o'clock express is coming now.
-
Lay quietly on the tracks.
:trainwreck:
Fixed, image tells without words.
-
Images more than five words?
-
Just be quiet and watch. :belly:
-
Hawt. I mean seriously hawt.
-
Do I smell something burning? :zoinks:
-
Must have been you farting.
-
That's to keep you warm. :zoinks:
-
You again? Alright, let's get this over with. :eyebrows:
-
Did you see the gopher?
-
Is he still here somewhere?
-
Is he getting flea treatment?
-
Maybe treatment for something else.
-
I do NOT want to get fleas from a sexual partner.
Again.
Once was enough.
-
Once, you knew the ropes.
-
Wanna try on my socks? :zoinks:
-
You look like a sock. :zoinks:
-
Don't be such a heel. :zoinks:
-
Well, if the stilettos fit...........
-
The pun game's a foot.
-
I can see your sole. :zoinks:
-
...the whole bed to myself. :violin:
-
That's because you wet it.
-
It is drying up now. :eyebrows:
-
Dreams can become a reality. :zoinks:
-
I thought you had left.
-
I'm still here for you. :zoinks:
-
Go get me a beer.
-
We playing spin the bottle? :zoinks:
-
Not in my bedroom, no.
-
You woke in my bed. :zoinks:
-
Everyone can sleep in my bed.
(I don't sleep in a bed, though.)
-
Then where do you sleep? :orly:
-
A couch.
-
So does it pull out? :zoinks:
-
Not being a fan of condoms...all but three times.
-
That gopher's mind is dirty.
-
That gopher's mind is dirty.
He lives in a hole in the ground. Everything about him is dirty. :trollface:
-
You going to wash me? :zoinks:
-
:poo:
-
The rule is five words. :zoinks:
-
My apologies, super sexy furball.
-
I forgot the rules...forgiveness.
-
I'm a Queen. There are no rules for me. Come on over to my side of the bed.
-
Is there room for three?
-
That is not five words.
-
Just concentrate on the finger. :zoinks:
-
Just concentrate on the finger. :zoinks:
The one in the middle?
-
Hope under sheets am clothed!!! :-[
-
Hope under sheets am clothed!!! :-[
I can see your periwinkle. :zoinks:
-
Was it excited about it?
-
What do you do in bed?
-
Nothing at all...just sleep! :eyelash:
-
Are you active while sleeping?
-
What exactly are you saying?
-
Trying with another five words.
-
I hope you brought antibiotics. :zoinks:
-
No need...already have everything.
-
You have rabies survival kits?
-
Immune to all known diseases.
-
Feel like exploring the unknown?
-
Been a hard day's night?
-
Been sleeping like a log!
-
You see the movie too?
(And yes, I did. I was the only one in the theater on a rainy Sunday afternoon.)
-
A Hard Day's Night, perhaps?
???
-
Yes, "IT" was very hard.
-
It is actually a book. :M
-
Want to turn my pages?
-
I would rather swipe them!
-
Would there be any pictures? :eyebrows:
-
We can see what develops. :zoinks:
-
I prefer a dark room.
-
Who knows what lurks there.
-
Will there be some flashing? :zoinks:
-
Who cares if it's dark.
-
I was making photography puns. :zoinks:
-
Wanna dip in my tray?
-
Shoot me with your Canon. :zoinks:
-
Let us see what develops. :mischief:
-
It never clicked between us.
-
Put some clothes on, man!
-
I have trouble with focusing. :zoinks:
-
Wear glasses or a bag!
-
It sounds bad, but since he cannot see I am safe... I wouldn't mind waking up next to my personal trainer :LOL:
-
Enroll in Personal Trainer School!
-
Enroll in Personal Trainer School!
Lol, I probably could have done it at my fittest. I did vaguely consider it. But nah, it's hard sometimes having someone train you who you have had a silent crush on for years.
-
Did you read the OP?
-
Train a crush in bed...
-
That's six words, not five. :P
-
Five
Four
Three
Two
One
Lift-off!
-
That's not five words either. :zoinks:
-
five numbers, one penis launch.
-
Fixed, just like the sheets...
-
That's a very large muscle
-
Why yes...yes it is! :eyelash:
-
Try to ignore the shackle. :zoinks:
-
Just one leaves one free...
-
What is that disgusting smell?
-
Does it smell in here?
-
How many are in bed?
-
I'm only counting the words. :zoinks:
-
We should be counting gophers. :M
-
Is one gopher not enough? :zombiefuck:
-
Zero in bed is better.
-
How many days of Winter?
-
Game Of Thrones cuddle time?
-
Too many penises. More dragons...
-
Penises, dragons. Anything lights me.
-
Lush's Miki Berenyi gets me...
https://www.google.com/search?q=lush+miki+berenyi&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari#mie=e%2Coverview%2Clush%20miki%20berenyi%2CH4sIAAAAAAAAAONgVuLUz9U3sDBLz658xOjMLfDyxz1hKatJa05eYzTh4grOyC93zSvJLKkUUuNig7JkuHilELo0GKS4uRBcHgCJD7zMUwAAAA
-
Googling things in bed? Really?
-
Googling things in bed? Really?
Is that what you call it?
-
What would you call it?
-
Binging things with my Google!
-
Palms against the wall, Sir.
-
Why don't you take off your sock and get comfortable?
-
Want to see my baton?
-
Will you be my cheerleader? or band leader?
-
I'll be busy working undercovers.
-
I prefer above the sheets!
-
Do you need the sheets?
-
Easier to cover the mess...
-
Bed hygiene is always important.
-
I made this mess myself. :zoinks:
-
Well...clean it up then!!! >:(
-
For gophers, this *is* clean.
-
Ok what happened buddy? Ow!
Sent from my A462C using Tapatalk
-
I'd put on my clothes in a hurry.
-
Does this rash look weird? :zoinks:
-
No, but the rest does.
-
Let's look at my selfies. :zoinks:
-
Is that really you? Wow.
-
I know, right? I'm awesome. :zoinks:
-
I'd say your fur is.
-
Are you gonna pet it? :zoinks:
-
This bed is boring alone. >:(
-
So much you can do. :zoinks:
-
I don't need any help.
-
Put clothes on and leave.
-
Already? Can we discuss it?
-
Which of us should leave?
-
The more the merrier, right?
-
The Queen is being cheeky!
-
Which cheek do you want?
-
Is this a booty call? :zoinks:
-
I'd give you a boot.
-
You were amazing last night, sweetie.
-
That is one ancient pussy!
-
Give me your wifi password. :zoinks:
-
Make me breakfast first, alright?
-
I hope you like shrubbery. :zoinks:
-
I prefer the shrubs trimmed.
-
Clean up afterwards, will you?
-
I'm proud of my mess. :zoinks:
-
Is that a navel stone?
-
No...it's a cock ring!
-
Something's in the wrong place. :-\
-
Your wrong place or mine? :zoinks:
-
Meet you round the corner,
In a half an hour.
(Two for the price of one.)
-
Cutting corners now, are we?
-
I thought pants were optional. :zoinks:
-
Gophers do not wear pants. ???
-
Ever get out of bed?
-
Prefer to stay in bed!
-
Who is paying for this? :zoinks:
-
Clearly whomever is with you!
-
Iwanna wake up nekki next to the PR nekkid wakingt up besides me.
-
You're so awkward it's distracting. :zoinks:
-
Five words or five inches?
-
That is not very impressive. :P
-
How about having both parts?
-
You need to register first. :zoinks:
-
Not according to my hands.
-
You heard that voice too? :zoinks:
-
Less talk...more prickly fingers.
-
I'll be giving the orders. :zoinks:
-
No, not if you're gagged.
-
You like the freaky stuff? :zoinks:
-
You are here, aren't you?
-
Who the Hell are you?
-
Just call me Phil McKracken. :zoinks:
-
Calling you what I want!!!
-
I'll call you Edith McKrotch. :zoinks:
-
My name is QUEEN VICTORIA!
-
Your Majesty, I am unworthy.
-
No, but you are available.
-
Let's do it royally, then.
-
Let the sexy merriment begin.
-
Hawt, the keyword for today.
-
Manhole is today's safe word. :zoinks:
-
Manpole is today's safe word.
Fixed
-
MANPOLE!!! MANPOLE!!! MANPOLE!!! MANPOLE!!! MANPOLE!!!
-
I CAN'T HEAR YOU, PYLE.
-
I got a big owwie! :bigcry:
-
Don't worry, I brought forceps. :zoinks:
-
Where are they? Show me.
-
Right now I doubt I could stand anyone in such close proximity. Chances are if someone were to come into my bedroom I'd go sleep on the sofa, or strap on my gas mask and go sleep on the lab floor. Because my heart has just been ripped the fuck out.
Bed someone? seriously? I'd probably kick whoever it is out of the house and tell them to go fuck themselves. I am in utter despair and misery right now.
-
Do I smell party poop? :zoinks:
-
It's just my smelly socks. :zoinks:
-
Stop using them to finish.
-
Stop using them to finish.
You can rock this sock. :zoinks:
-
Prefer to use candy wrappers.
-
You jealous of my socks?
-
Are we going to duel? :zoinks:
-
Don't flatter yourself, little gopher.
-
I prefer doing it alone.
-
Will I get severance pay? :zoinks:
-
I'll sever something for you.
-
Keep it clean and tidy.
-
Always! Have to hide evidence.
-
Guess where I bury evidence. :zoinks:
-
Do you dig it out? :orly:
-
I naturally excel at digging. :zoinks:
-
Dig what out? as in Kit's thread?:P
Because the gopher is full of that, enough digging, for if that digging effort was transferred to soil of the ground type, rather than the 'night-' kind, he'd get from here to fucking well china in about sixty seconds.
-
Dig what out? as in Kit's thread?:P
Because the gopher is full of that, enough digging, for if that digging effort was transferred to soil of the ground type, rather than the 'night-' kind, he'd get from here to fucking well china in about sixty seconds.
It's supposed to be a 5 word response. 5 words, yep. After 151 pages it's understandable the rule got forgotten.
Here's where we show we're brilliant, it can take me quite a while to edit it down to 5.
-
Since it's me, and you Lestat's your favourite clandestine chemist QV, lets not count the smiley or the '?' as a word and turn 'as in' to as-in' making it one over, and if he brings you breakfast in bed, whilst he is getting up early to do PR's breakfast-in-bed, makes you an extra platter of B-in-B, can your favourite naughty autie clan.chemist, biotech and all round naughty autie biohacker have an extra word? pretty please with hot breakfast in bed for you as well on top? All Lestat's just had last is he opened a can of rice pudding, the last of his cans of cold rice pudding stash from the fridge, he's just about to have his after-quick snack rollup,a few quick mouthfuls of white grapefruit juice and grab another carton, whilst cooking her viceroyalty's b-in-b and some for QV, Lestat'll make it even bigger for QV if the royal assent, keeping in mind the mitigating circumstances of him never actually being aware of the 5 word rule, if royal pardon is given for the extra, and ye assent royale be giveth unto Your Majesty's favourite non-genetically-related naughty autie. And considering he does like the heir to the royal throne so much and admire humbly, as he doth do, and with the respect you know that he has for both the current royal bottom upon the palace throne, and aforementioned throne's heir not merely apparent, but quite definitely wuvvly self :worship:
(btw swill waiting on that nice list:P, and I'll hold you to it, if a humble commoner may hold a royal to anything. Hell, he'd an outlaw anyway so what the hell, he's holding you to it:)
After all, what can anyone do, make your favoured most uncommon commoner :heisenberg: an outlaw?
C'mon, its almost xmas, one more word for the :heisenberg: who is all the same, despite being :heisenberg: anyway, unaware of the royal decree. BEING an :heisenberg: isn't all dressing up in green, poncing around the forest noshing on roast deer legs from round a camp fire. There aren't even any merry men close enough right now to share a poached deer and a pot of stew from a few *lestat needs a rabbit-poaching smiley temporarily, so turn your royal ass this way and look and see one:P* It isn't all lazing around getting drunk on ale filched from the sherrif of nottingham, to get to THAT point, where an :heisenberg: gets to lay back, kick his boots off and do some lazing, there has to be much work done, some of it difficult and a very large part of it dangerous.
So, its xmas (ish, nearly, sortof), call it an early xmas card (CARD, mind you:P) that some royal servant in messenger's livery can play runner and go leave in a dead drop whilst :junkie:-hood, hides in a (currently borrowed) den not a huge distance from some of the forests not THAT far from shottingham/snottingham/shittingham (take your royal pick, it hardly matters HOW you word that it's fucking shit there and a general dump for the noxious refuse most other nasty ass third-world-land-transplants to the 1st world wouldn't sully themselves with :lol1: Plus of course the evil :police: of shottingham.
-
...the person above you in this thread, what would you say- in EXACTLY FIVE WORDS?
Since I'm starting and therefore nobody is above me, I'll just give an example of what I'd say if I woke up naked and alone:
'Oh god, I'm so lonely."
Lots of Canadian guys, eh?
-
Only use five words, Lestat. :hitler:
-
Lots of Canadian guys, eh?
Canadians make my tundra melt. :zoinks:
-
Dig what out? as in Kit's thread?:P
Because the gopher is full of that, enough digging, for if that digging effort was transferred to soil of the ground type, rather than the 'night-' kind, he'd get from here to fucking well china in about sixty seconds.
It's supposed to be a 5 word response. 5 words, yep. After 151 pages it's understandable the rule got forgotten.
Here's where we show we're brilliant, it can take me quite a while to edit it down to 5.
Brilliant is what brilliant does. :M
-
Got five words for you gopher boy.
They start with 'why don'' and end with 'off'
-
You still got it wrong. :M
-
Got five words for you gopher boy.
They start with 'why don'' and end with 'off'
Fucking off is my specialty. :zoinks:
-
You still got it wrong. :M
Failure is success in progress. :orly:
-
Sometimes fail is just fail. :M
-
Perfect is a fault and...
-
Well then, be your special snowflake self and gophuk off then. Be a good little special snowfag and do what comes naturally when exercising your specialty.
Geddout me bed, girls only:P
-
...fault lines change! Be happy!
-
There is some rope left.
-
That's bound to be good. :zoinks:
-
Just don't set them free.
-
May I borrow your slippers? :zoinks:
-
No...you may not! Sorry!
-
Want to borrow my slippers? :zoinks:
-
That's your fur. Silly gopher.
-
No condoms, just rhythm method.
-
You've got two left feet.
-
I know the hokey pokey. :zoinks:
-
Get under the bed, dusting.
-
No fun under the bed.
-
There are gophers and dust.
-
Thought it was just dust.
-
Sure it can be fun under beds. I used to use under mine as a kid to grow certain...herbs....
And when I had a bed with no space under it, I'd heave it up and lie underneath it, then gently lower it to compress my whole body, sensory thingies, I like the pressure.
Plus when I was living at my old house, and had what amounted to a bunk bed with a single bunk, that one climbed a short ladder to get to the bed, and there was a large gap underneath, plus when my old man had built me my lab bench I had at the age I was when I lived there, I used to use the underneath when not packed with growlights for fostering the growth of certain species of vegetative organism, I'd use the underneath as a space that would never accidentally get tripped over and break things, so I could use the underneath space as a storage for lab equipment and some of the more harmless chemicals I used, nothing nasty in case there WERE examples of those certain plant species, nothing extremely poisonous, I refrained also from storing volatiles under there, nastier corrosives, and especially anything pyrophoric (pyrophoric is the term for things that catch fire in air at room temperature spontaneously, such as for example, white phosphorus, or alkyllithium reagents, sodium, potassium metal could be regarded as such, as are many finely divided metal powders, such as in particular the one that comes to mind is lead nanoparticles in bulk form, produced by heating certain organic acid lead salts in an inert environment until they decompose to give lead metal. The moment the seal of the tube is broken and the lead nanopowder flung out, it bursts into a gout of flame and sparks:))
But equipment, stuff like power supplies, electrodes, electrolytic cells, my blowtorches and spare gas tanks for same, various bits and shits for putting stuff together, lengths of tubing, metal and plastic for various applications, anything I needed for construction of instrumentation and equipment on the spot when needed as I realize I needed them, plus lots of the likes of glass jars, and loads of tin cans for use as disposable crucibles for destructive distilations, or other things that need to tkae a roasting.
-
Quit breaking the damn game. :zoinks:
-
Can't you read he's autistic?
-
You mean see, don't you?
-
Why aren't bedrooms called restrooms? :zoinks:
-
No rest for the wicked?
-
Something wicked this way comes. :zoinks:
-
No, it is just you.
-
I drooled on your pillow. :zoinks:
-
Does that turn you on? :zoinks:
-
Somebody has to wash that. >:(
-
*I* don't wanna do it.
-
We'll let Lady Weeble do it.
-
That's six words, Your Majesty.
-
One doesn't correct Her Majesty. :queenie:
-
Back to bed, odeon.
(there, the 2 posts averaged out to 5.)
-
Want to see a puppet show? :zoinks:
-
Back to bed, odeon.
(there, the 2 posts averaged out to 5.)
I've been bad, Your Majesty. :zoinks:
-
Back to bed, odeon.
(there, the 2 posts averaged out to 5.)
I've been bad, Your Majesty. :zoinks:
Quit skipping me in bed. >:(
-
Your grass munching wakes me.
-
Is that what it is?
-
What else would gophers munch? :dunno:
-
You don't want to know.
-
I already know too much. :headhurts:
-
What exactly do you know? :-\
-
Why should I tell you? :P
-
Father odeon will absolve you.
-
Is the Moomin really Catholic? :pope: :moomin:
-
My lips wont kiss themselves. :-*
-
My lips wont kiss themselves. :-*
You're not trying hard enough. :P
-
I'm not limited by Catholicism. :M
-
You eat meat of Fridays? :zoinks:
-
He's partial to gopher meat. (http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_3_108.gif) :trollskull:
-
He's partial to gopher meat. (http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_3_108.gif) :trollskull:
You want a piece of me? :zoinks:
-
That's six words, not five. :M :P
-
Hush or I'll hump you. :zoinks:
-
Hush or I'll hump you. :zoinks:
Shush or I'll thump you! :slap:
-
I go thump in the night. :zoinks:
-
And you have problems counting.
-
Five, four, three, two, oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!
-
My back fat feels sweaty. :zoinks:
-
That is because it is,
-
Mmmmmmmmmmm. That feels sooooooooo good.
-
Help me. I need kisses. :-*
-
I said I need kisses. >:(
-
I said I need kisses. >:(
We heard. We're ignoring you. :hahaha: :trollskull:
-
I'm too ridiculous to ignore. :zoinks:
-
I'm too ridiculous to ignore. :zoinks:
Shall we laugh at you? :zoinks:
-
I'm too ridiculous to ignore. :zoinks:
Shall we laugh at you? :zoinks:
Yeah, you can point too. :zoinks:
-
Point at what is missing?
-
Let's make beautiful moooosic together. :zoinks:
-
Leave the cow alone, punk! :police:
-
Cow vs gopher. Who'd win?
-
Cow vs gopher. Who'd win?
The cow. Gophers can't stampede. :trollskull:
-
^I could certainly live with this.
-
^I could certainly live with this.
Remember the five word rule. :police:
-
You come back to bed.
-
Gotta stay up and paint! :arrr:
-
Your euphemisms are strange, dear. :eyebrows:
-
You want to see strange? :zoinks:
-
No, children may be watching! :hide:
-
I'll go lock the door. :zoinks:
-
Step outside for a moment. :zoinks:
-
Step outside for a moment. :zoinks:
I'm busy sniffing your pillows. :zoinks:
-
Step outside for a moment. :zoinks:
I'm busy sniffing your pillows. :zoinks:
Um, that's not my pillow. :zombiefuck:
-
That'll make pillow fighting awkward. :zoinks:
-
I think you need glasses.
-
I need the brain bleach. :sick:
-
I need the brain bleach. :sick:
I'll go fetch some q-tips. :zoinks:
-
I'm lonely in bed alone. >:(
-
I can touch your butt. :zoinks:
-
Touch it with what exactly? :zoinks:
-
Um, just don't look now. :zoinks:
-
Hey you missed a spot. :zoinks:
-
I avoided it on purpose. :zombiefuck:
-
I promise I wont bite. :zoinks:
-
You are just saying that.
-
Your fleas do the biting.
-
Your fleas do the biting.
Wanna give me a bath? :zoinks:
-
Do you want diving lessons?
-
Can I honk your horn? :zoinks:
-
That does sound dirty, somehow.
-
I make anything sound dirty. :zoinks:
-
Fuzzy butt
-
Want to touch my coccyx? :zoinks:
-
That's a first in bed.
-
Go fetch me some coffee. :zoinks:
-
Get the Hell out, NOW!
-
Let's watch Netflix and chill.
-
May I touch the remote? :zoinks:
-
May I touch the remote? :zoinks:
Remotes are filthy germ harbors. :zombiefuck:
-
And the gopher is not? :orly:
-
I'm always happy to share. :zoinks:
-
You can keep your germs.
-
May I keep yours too? :zoinks:
-
I thought you'd never ask.
-
Please turn off the light.
-
I'm afraid of the dark.
-
I'll have some white meat. :zoinks:
-
Guard!
Guard!
Where's the guard?
-
Oh, he's fucking somebody else.
-
Hopefully, Gary Gopher is the one.
(sorry that is a bit mean. i'm in a shitty mood.)
-
Are we going to scuffle? :zoinks:
-
I call it making love. :eyelash:
-
I call it monster mashing. :zoinks:
-
Fine, I'll sexually harass myself. >:(
-
How do you do that?
-
Shall I draw a diagram? :zoinks:
-
Can I use a diaphragm?
-
Where's the fun in that?
-
You want to pay child support?
-
I'm calling Maury!
-
Can't you people count anymore?
-
One, two!!
Oh no!
Twins!!
-
Let's play dare or dare. :zoinks:
-
Thanks but I don't dare.
-
Wanna think inside my box? :zoinks:
-
What's there to think about?
-
Super duper awesome gopher stuff. :zoinks:
-
It's Sunday. Go to church. :M :angel:
-
Are you gonna save me? :zoinks:
-
Are you gonna save me? :zoinks:
You must seek God's will! :christ:
-
Such as fried gopher legs? :zoinks:
-
Such as fried gopher legs? :zoinks:
Have you tried my legs? :zoinks:
-
Such as fried gopher legs? :zoinks:
Have you tried my legs? :zoinks:
Not enough bones to pick. :zoinks:
-
Such as fried gopher legs? :zoinks:
Have you tried my legs? :zoinks:
Not enough bones to pick. :zoinks:
My humerus bone is impressive. :zoinks:
-
Such as fried gopher legs? :zoinks:
Have you tried my legs? :zoinks:
Not enough bones to pick. :zoinks:
My humerus bone is impressive. :zoinks:
Your humerus bone is humourous.
-
Then you've met my bone? :zoinks:
-
It was more like cartilage.
-
That's how you know Gary. :zoinks:
-
Let's build a blanket fort. :zoinks:
-
Let's protect ourselves against Gary. :zoinks:
-
Let's build a great wall.
-
But I'm not even Mexican. :zoinks:
-
Do you belong to ISIS? :orly:
-
I can't even spell ISIS. :zoinks:
-
Do you think they can?
-
Let's make sculptures of our butts. :zoinks:
-
I'd put my clothes on.
-
Let's make sculptures of our butts. :zoinks:
You certainly look like one. :zoinks:
-
Have you met my butt? :zoinks:
-
Yes I have, just now. :zoinks:
-
Did you take a picture? :zoinks:
-
Of your butt? You're kidding.
-
Did you break the camera? :gopher: :trollface:
-
I just felt very sick. :zombiefuck:
-
Ginger ale settles the stomach. :opkikkertje:
-
I'll take a cherry coke. :zoinks:
-
Let's all change the subject.
-
Let's watch the Nature channel. :zoinks:
-
Let's watch the Nature channel. :zoinks:
Don't wanna watch animals mating. :tv: :bunny love:
-
Why not? It's only natural. :zoinks:
-
We must seek finer things. :M :angel:
-
Like to watch humans mating?
-
Like to watch humans mating?
No, mating is inherently evil! :christ:
-
Like to watch humans mating?
No, mating is inherently evil! :christ:
Then why are you here?
-
I'm here for free wifi. :zoinks:
-
You are here for filth.
-
You're all going to hell! :christ:
-
I'm looking forward to it. ;D
-
Does hell have free wifi? :zoinks:
-
They probably have free filth. :eyebrows:
-
Hell is full of gophers. :gopher: :gopher: :gopher: :trollskull:
-
They have all been bad?
-
There are no good gophers. :police: :gopher: :police:
-
Surely one or two, maybe?
-
And there's no good eggs. :zoinks: :cbc:
-
:cbc: Eggs are nature's perfect food. :M :angel:
-
But gophers taste good, too. :P
-
Is this gonna get messy? :zoinks:
-
It's going to hurt lots.
-
I only bit a little. :zoinks:
-
As if that is OK.
-
When was your last vaccination?
-
What diseases do gophers transmit? :gopher:
-
How did we do it? I mean, do Weebles have holes? :orly:
-
Can you count to five?
-
One two three four five.
-
You must be so proud!
-
Did I do it right?
-
You were fantastic this time.
-
Am I not every time? :eyelash:
-
Can I count on you?
-
Weebles don't have five holes. :M :angel:
-
May I count your holes? :zoinks:
-
I'll give you additional holes! :gopher: :litigious:
-
Want to count my holes? :zoinks:
-
Are there more than five?
-
Not all holes are important.
-
They each serve a function
-
Some holes are more fun.
-
I'm too tired for fun.
-
If phoenix is who I think she is...I would be one of the luckiest guys on the face of the earth! because miss K is such a sweetie, and since she left, I've missed her much and thought about her often.
-
Why not count to five?
-
You look better through binoculars. :zoinks:
-
If phoenix is who I think she is...I would be one of the luckiest guys on the face of the earth! because miss K is such a sweetie, and since she left, I've missed her much and thought about her often.
That's more than 5 words :lol1:
(But yes, I am MK and you are very sweet to say that) 8)
-
Let's get back to business.
-
Could you rub my shoulders?
-
It would be my pleasure
-
Rub my, um, shoulders too? :eyebrows:
-
That's what you call it? :autism:
-
No one's rubbing my stuff. >:(
-
But you are a gopher.
-
I thought gophers liked rubs?
-
That gopher shouldn't get any. :P
-
Count to 5? why? whats that about? (in the context of this thread, obviously)
And I have miss K, I was kinda gutted when you left. Well, more than kind of. You have been missed a lot.
*lestat winds around miss K's ankles and purrs like a .50 cal autocannon being fired*
-
Lestat, read the original post. :P
-
Who are you talking to?
-
Conversations with myself are amusing
-
Do you have any cash? :zoinks:
-
You should pay in advance.
-
Hey, do you accept coupons? :lol1:
-
How would that even work?
-
Maybe debit or credit then?
-
The check's in the mail. :zoinks:
-
Is there a group discount?
-
Use your frequent flyer miles. :zoinks:
-
I get senior citizen smiles.
-
You have a lovely smile.
-
The Queen must be happy
-
I'd be delighted ^_^
-
Soda, pizza, chips, and hummus.
-
I have a massive headache.
-
I'll be very very quiet. :zoinks:
-
I think I'll just sleep :zzz:
-
Can I sleep beside you?
-
Only if you stop talking.
-
Shall I pantomime for you? :zoinks:
-
No. Let's just spoon, okay?
-
I'll go fetch some spoons. :zoinks:
-
Don't play music with them!
-
I'd go back to sleep.
-
Why do you need spoons?
-
In case you want snacks
-
It's you, well poop. :dunno:
-
Oi, what kind of snacks?
-
Something that needs spoons maybe? :laugh:
-
May I lick the spoon? :zoinks:
-
Gary, there is no spoon.
-
But there really is snacks!
-
Where to start the nibbling?
-
I am really hungry now.
-
Do you want some bacon?
-
I'll have some rump roast. :zoinks:
-
Is there a veggie alternative? :zoinks:
-
No pudding, eat your meat
(had to condense that line to 5 words :laugh: )
-
No pudding, eat your meat
(had to condense that line to 5 words :laugh: )
Interestingly, I referred to the same rock opera five minutes ago.
:2thumbsup:
-
Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek! Eek!
-
I can see your bustle. :zoinks:
-
Can you hustle my bustle?
-
Never mind the stupid gopher. >:(
-
So, more bustle for Odeon?
-
It's always me, me, me.
-
Oh, is it you again?
-
Yes. I like it here.
-
It's too hot to cuddle.
-
I'll fan your sweaty spots. :zoinks:
-
Can you get me coffee?
-
1 coffee, coming right up
-
Maybe a few crackers, too?
-
Crumbs in bed are awful. :GA:
-
*sweeps Andersom's side of bed*
-
Can I taste something else? :eyebrows:
-
Oh, you'd like cheese too?
-
^I could certainly live with waking up next to the lovely miss K :)
-
Wake up in five words.
-
Wake up in five words.
:laugh:
giggles herself to sleep again
-
Do you like tickle fights? :zoinks:
-
What's there not to like?
-
It can lead to peeing. :zoinks:
-
Don't do THAT in bed.
-
Read the NO PEEING sign!!
-
Gophers can't read, can they?
-
That will be a problem :thumbdn:
-
I doubt he is housebroken.
-
Litter box probably won't work
-
Will you scoop my litter? :zoinks:
-
Does that turn you on?
-
Will you be wearing chaps? :zoinks:
-
Would you hump my leg?
-
I'm already humping your leg. :zoinks:
-
Is that what it is? :o
-
Why am I watching this? :zombiefuck:
-
You get all tingly inside?
-
More like an allover itching. :CanofWorms:
-
I'll scratch your itchy spots. :zoinks:
-
I hope it's not fleas. (emo)
-
No, those are gopher mites.
-
They like me too much (emo)
-
Very odd pillow talk, this.
-
Then please change the subject
-
Let's change the bed first.
-
*cleans sheets and fluffs pillows*
-
Nice! Lets tuck in together.
-
I won't steal the covers
-
*wriggles on the clean bedding* :zoinks:
-
Nooooo! I just washed those!!! :facepalm2:
-
We don't NEED the sheets. :eyebrows:
-
This mattress is very grimy. :zombiefuck:
-
If CBC is still here Oh man the things I'd do to her butt and boobies
-
You'd take her for granite. :zoinks:
-
You'd take her for granite. :zoinks:
:bounce: :nerdy: :laugh: :plus:
-
He's getting his rocks off :P
-
Well you're a real stunner:)
-
Yay! He used the rules! :laugh:
-
What? No stoner jokes yet?
-
There's still time, young grasshopper
-
What if time runs out?
-
Then we start over again
-
Are we ganja get naked? :zoinks:
-
Strip off that fur coat.
-
I'd rather have a cowlick. :zoinks:
-
Did you all miss me?
-
Oh dear. Who are you?
-
Sorry Odeon. She's taken now.
-
I'll have what she's having. :zoinks:
-
What does it look like?
-
Possibly illegal, immoral, and fattening. :zoinks:
-
What do you mean, possibly?
-
Appearances can sometimes be deceiving. :dunno:
-
I am actually this handsome. :zoinks:
-
I know, right? Me too. :zoinks:
-
Not as handsome as me. :M
-
I wouldn't consider myself handsome
-
You should try self affirmations. :zoinks:
-
Don't be shy, that's all. :P
-
Wanna see my booby traps? :zoinks:
-
Did you shave it all?
-
You like it like that? :zoinks:
-
There's too much to see!
-
Just throw it out already! :o
-
Who's going to catch me. :zoinks:
-
How hard can it be?
-
How hard can it be?
Is this about blue pills?
-
How hard can it be?
Is this about blue pills?
I was thinking the same. :laugh:
-
Don't swallow more than one.
-
Would that be too hard?
-
How hard is too hard? :zoinks:
-
I think when it bleeds. :P
-
Boundaries are good to know. :zoinks:
-
Boundaries are good to know. :zoinks:
Did you educate your fleas?
-
Fleas? In this bed? Ugh.
-
There's one dry humping you. :zombiefuck:
-
Kill it! Can't stand them!
-
Fleas are god's creatures too. :zoinks:
-
God can have them back.
-
They're probably going to hell. :zoinks:
-
So they're the devil's work?
-
So they're the devil's work?
They're most likely just bugs. :zoinks:
-
Do they bug you too?
-
Bugging you is more important. :zoinks:
-
You can keep your fleas.
-
cuddle, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle
-
It's too hot to cuddle.
-
I'm too hot for you. :zoinks:
-
The bed is on fire!
(We need a pile of fire smiley)
-
The bed is on fire!
(We need a pile of fire smiley)
I did NOT do it.
-
You're as cold as ice. :laugh:
-
Let me warm him up.
-
I'll go fetch some mittens. :zoinks:
-
You dirty old critter, you.
-
But my mittens are clean. :zoinks:
-
Yes, but you are not.
-
Someone should probably bathe me. :zoinks:
-
The ocean isn't deep enough. :P
-
You bathe gophers in oceans? :zombiefuck:
-
I just let them swim. :P
-
Where are my clothes, dammit?
-
Left them on the beach?
-
My back needs some sunscreen. :zoinks:
-
My back needs a massage.
-
My front needs one too. :eyebrows:
-
I will wax you first.
-
Why would you want to?
-
To start with some teasing.
-
I was thinking about shaving. :M
-
Where's the fun in that?
-
Some people like some pain
-
I'll go fetch some tweezers. :zoinks:
-
What will you be plucking? :tinfoil:
-
I like those phoenix feathers.
-
Let's snuggle and not pluck :laugh:
-
Let's fall asleep while snuggling.
-
*sighs contentedly with her bovine* :heart:
-
Room for one more ? you two would be just the kind of company as would be good right now, the fiery and delightful miss K with the mood I'm in at my old man after he just poured some of a long-worked for and hard worked for multi-step synthesis that was going to finish to...celebrate..my b/day being too stupid to realize it was something of mine. Weeks of work to say nothing of the pre-study experimentation...almost the final fruition of my project after the time spent in purification. Kind of easy reaction but does requite a lot of cleaning of more or less each phase to reach the required standard. Down the bastard drains.I'll have to work it out by thorough cleaning of the adduct of one of the byproducts and calculate from the theoretical plus the weight of the byproducts. I think Hyke would keep me grounded, if that makes sense :)
-
Hyke would keep me grounded
Ground beef puns in bed. :zoinks:
-
She's grounding, and yet delicious
-
Not quite the kind of ground I meant.
And....as for you miss K...well I wouldn't be getting out of bed for a long, long time, at least until we got hungry.
-
Have to use 5 words ;)
-
Any five words will do.
-
We're not picky about words
-
Will you please quit moving?
-
Sorry. Too much sugar today. :autism:
-
Moving is good in bed.
-
Stop moving, I can't sleep.
-
I'll watch while you sleep. :zoinks:
-
Creepy is what creepy does. :zoinks:
-
I'm French, so it's crêpe. :zoinks:
-
Yes, flatter than a pancake.
-
And nowhere near as tasty.
-
Fair warning, it's shedding season. :zoinks:
-
Fair warning, it's shedding season. :zoinks:
Nope, that's next week. Right now it is skinning season.
-
There's a season for it?
-
Every day is gopher day. :zoinks:
-
I'd just get bored, though.
-
Every day is gopher day. :zoinks:
Should be gophim day.
-
Would you like a cocktail? :zoinks:
-
Keep it under the sheets.
-
Keep it under the sheets.
Come inside my blanket fort. :zoinks:
-
Stop messing about in bed.
-
But I like it messy
-
Whose are these oily footprints?
-
How many people are here? :tinfoil:
-
All in all, too many.
-
Did you set the alarm? :zombiefuck:
-
I do some alarming stuff. :zoinks:
-
Hold me. I hate alarms.
-
Well, turn it off already.
-
I brought my sledge hammer.
-
No sledge hammers in bed :M
-
It did finish the alarm.
-
And the side table too!!! :laugh:
-
I always hated that monstrosity.
-
Mother gave it to us!
-
Talking about moms kills erections. :zoinks:
-
I can't really dispute that :laugh:
-
You believe in immaculate conception?
-
My name is not Mary
-
We can love without conception.
-
"Love"? Santa Claus too, maybe?
-
I'll fetch some santa hats. :zoinks:
-
Let's just chill for now.
-
I brought some ice cubes. :zoinks:
-
Did you bring my drink?
-
Are we gonna get drunk? :zoinks:
-
With you in bed, sure.
-
I have to get up.
-
Don't go yet, we'll cuddle.
-
Please do not tempt me.
-
We'll go back to sleep.
-
Fuck obligations, I will stay.
-
Court obligations must be met,
Lady Hykeaswell.
-
It's Discovery Channel time again.
-
May I touch your remote? :zoinks:
-
You'd better not switch channels.
-
Get the remote outta there!!! :zombiefuck:
-
Don't put it in THERE.
-
You have nice bone structure. :zoinks:
-
You are just saying that
-
We should start a band. :zoinks:
-
I'll do the drumming part.
-
I'll fetch my air guitar. :zoinks:
-
Who'll be the lead singer?
-
Stop singing!
It's past midnight.
-
Your tail's tickling my nose.
-
Um, it's not my tail.
-
Short tails have butts nearby. :zoinks:
-
Do I smell that bad? :aff:
-
You're a gopher, for chrissakes.
-
Keep your hands above blankets.
-
Your horns are poking me.
-
You know you love it. :eyebrows:
-
I'm even proud of it. :zoinks:
-
Poke him again. Aim better