INTENSITY²
Start here => Free For ALL => Topic started by: Teejay on August 25, 2006, 01:41:20 AM
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I am doing some strange things lately, pretty much it part of an agenda to improve my social skills dramatically. My main goal is to do reasonably well in the professional world once I graduate from university. The second more minor goal I want to achieve, I want to get socially skilled enough to do at least as well as most NT guys in the dating game. I am not sure if I want to get married or be in a long term relationship, but I would be nice to experience what being in one is like.
There are the normal things of improving conversation skills, learning non-verbal communication, understanding non-written social rules (i.e body language) and other interpersonal skills. Along with combating my social avoidance and anxiety. In these areas only a little book knowledge (I only have a few ebooks and great website called A survival guide for people with Asperger syndrome)Â is required the rest comes from practical experience.
The things I am doing that might be considered strange are applying to sledgehammer to my personality, the way I see it I am just reverting back to what I was as a kid. A kid who wasn't ultra-nice, often arrogant and occasionally mean. Years of humility taught me to become a person who avoided conflict and try to please everyone. I want to become well more self assertive, ruthless, very judgemental, if not a little mean. I am a person with high standards of himself and expect others to do likewise. I am doing Judo classes to deal with my anger management problem and give me confidence to fight back (it is not likely I ever have to use my fighting skills for real).
The weird things I am doing are based on a couple of observations an Aspie IRL told me when we first met, he said I was soft spoken and needed to become louder. I can't remember exactly what I should do something to project the voice from the diaphragm and since we were at a concert, I told him I was not coping well with the sounds and he said he lost some of his hearing by listening to loud heavy metal music I believe over the years. So I have decided to follow his advice, I am going to listen a lot to my favorite metal bands really loud on my ipod shuffle and computer headphones for as long as it takes to lose enough hearing.
He gave me a few great observations about my behavior and tips so far, I see him as a role model for me, because he is an aspie who has succeeded in the NT world and personality wise he has some similarities to me.
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I am doing some strange things lately, pretty much it part of an agenda to improve my social skills dramatically. My main goal is to do reasonably well in the professional world once I graduate from university. The second more minor goal I want to achieve, I want to get socially skilled enough to do at least as well as most NT guys in the dating game. I am not sure if I want to get married or be in a long term relationship, but I would be nice to experience what being in one is like.
There are the normal things of improving conversation skills, learning non-verbal communication, understanding non-written social rules (i.e body language) and other interpersonal skills. Along with combating my social avoidance and anxiety. In these areas only a little book knowledge (I only have a few ebooks and great website called A survival guide for people with Asperger syndrome) is required the rest comes from practical experience.
/claps
The things I am doing that might be considered strange are applying to sledgehammer to my personality, the way I see it I am just reverting back to what I was as a kid. A kid who wasn't ultra-nice, often arrogant and occasionally mean. Years of humility taught me to become a person who avoided conflict and try to please everyone. I want to become well more self assertive, ruthless, very judgemental, if not a little mean. I am a person with high standards of himself and expect others to do likewise. I am doing Judo classes to deal with my anger management problem and give me confidence to fight back (it is not likely I ever have to use my fighting skills for real).
The weird things I am doing are based on a couple of observations an Aspie IRL told me when we first met, he said I was soft spoken and needed to become louder. I can't remember exactly what I should do something to project the voice from the diaphragm
self-assertive is a good one, but there's a difference between taking no shit and being willing to push yourself forward, and acting like a cunt. And in NT terms, 'ruthless' and 'judgmental' seems to be code for 'backstabbing, superior, BMW driving, Tory voting, selfish motherfucker'. is that really what you want to be? yuppie scum? Its good to see you growing a pair, but it doesn't have to be a choice between being an arsehole or being a wimp.
Diaphragm breathing - did you learn how to breathe to fight more effectively in judo? fill your lungs, right to the bottom. tense your stomach muscles. then exhale forcefully. practice it, until you can control the flow and project effectively. or you could always get a couple ofd singing lessons. ;)
and since we were at a concert, I told him I was not coping well with the sounds and he said he lost some of his hearing by listening to loud heavy metal music I believe over the years. So I have decided to follow his advice, I am going to listen a lot to my favorite metal bands really loud on my ipod shuffle and computer headphones for as long as it takes to lose enough hearing.
heh. this applies to me - I worked in a loud environment for several years, spent my teens with headphones on and went to a lot of loud rock gigs. my hearing is permanently impaired and it definitely does help with tuning stuff out as I have to make more of a conscious effort to listen - not sure if I would recommend deliberately fucking up your hearing, but meh.
He gave me a few great observations about my behavior and tips so far, I see him as a role model for me, because he is an aspie who has succeeded in the NT world and personality wise he has some similarities to me.
don't forget to be yourself. success at the price of selling out your core values is failure. good luck teejay.
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Diaphragm breathing - did you learn how to breathe to fight more effectively in judo? fill your lungs, right to the bottom. tense your stomach muscles. then exhale forcefully. practice it, until you can control the flow and project effectively. or you could always get a couple ofd singing lessons. ;)
I have not started judo classes yet, I am not in a real rush to start them. Also I have been thinking if I should use counseling to deal with my anger management problem. I know that certain things make me angry (I am guessing a lot of things which happended in my life), there is a difference between being mean and being angry. I am thinking something mediative like Yoga would help me with dealing with my anger. Besides I can always put up a small punching bag in my room and get some gloves 8)
Strange enough I am not soft spoken, indeed I seem to be loud when I am drunk :-\
heh. this applies to me - I worked in a loud environment for several years, spent my teens with headphones on and went to a lot of loud rock gigs. my hearing is permanently impaired and it definitely does help with tuning stuff out as I have to make more of a conscious effort to listen - not sure if I would recommend deliberately fucking up your hearing, but meh.
Yeah it could be a bad idea to fucking up my hearing on purpose.
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I think it is a bad idea to ruin your hearing on purpose because it can cause more problems than it solves. If you destroy your high pitched hearing, you could get tinnitus, where you hear sounds in your ears all the time. It's no fun, believe me. You could try those foam earplugs in environments that are so noisy you know they will bother you.
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Yeah I have tinnitus hear noise in My ears and I did nothing to ruin My hearing either.
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Yeah me too and I didn't either, but I have read it often happens to people who listen to music too loud especially on earphones, when they damage their high-pitched hearing.
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Yeah headphones are the worst. I use them but lower the sound I don't really like loud sounds Myself.
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I think it is a bad idea to ruin your hearing on purpose because it can cause more problems than it solves. If you destroy your high pitched hearing, you could get tinnitus, where you hear sounds in your ears all the time. It's no fun, believe me. You could try those foam earplugs in environments that are so noisy you know they will bother you.
practically every old timer on the docks can barely hear anything.
and they are all grumpy old men. i associate that with the constant low droning sound they live with. i know it would make me bitchy.
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Good for you Teejay.
For what it's worth, I can't speak loudly either. I'm incapable of it, it seems, even when I need to shout or yell (like tellling somebody to watch out for something) I just can't do it. Shrugs. My family sure appreciates that I can't yell :)
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People complain that I speak too low as well.
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Some people to Me quit mumbling for I speak in a low voice Myself.
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It's topics like this that make me wonder if MS is AS after all. I've always thought he was NT, but he tells me he has "AS traits". One thing he does is mumble.
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What are You mumbling about. ;D
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LOL. MS is my Minnesotan Stud. Where ya been, Kevv? Am I the only one that is really bothered by this black background?
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no - i find it v difficult, too. can we make it optional, please?
teejay - please don't damage your hearing permanently. but bloody good for you with the rest of it, and i really mean that. +1
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LOL. MS is my Minnesotan Stud. Where ya been, Kevv? Am I the only one that is really bothered by this black background?Â
Okay I knew what You where mumbling about. ;)
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I can't stand this black background either. :-\
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People complain that I speak too low as well.
huh!
speak up, i can't hear you.
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I have this theme as my default, so I didn't notice until I viewed it as a guest. I blame McJagger since he was the person who set up this forum. :P If everyone would prefer it, I'll alter it.
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iss pls.
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not one mark left. i pissed all over this site and this was the last remaining hint of my odor. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( >:( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( >:( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(  :'(  :'( :'( :'( :'( >:( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(  :'( :'( :'(Â
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Kevv, in all his brilliance, showed me how to change the default settings so that this forum is readable.
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Kevv, in all his brilliance, showed me how to change the default settings so that this forum is readable.
He did the same for me.
I love you, kevv. :-*
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White backgrounds are the new black, yo.
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Wigger. >:D
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Wigger. >:D
Hey, dunc, you've got some black blood in you, so you do you ever get pissed off with people stereotyping how black people act and stuff?
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Stereotyping in general pisses me off, but no, not specifically black people. I wasn't brought up 'culturally' black anyway - my dad is white and my mum is a bradford mutt - irish, english and west indian. my mum's dad was like a black/irish alf garnett - he sounded like fucking beowulf, without a trace of irony - so her upbringing was fairly 'British' as well. So I think it would be a bit pretentious of me to be honest. ;D
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Stereotyping in general pisses me off, but no, not specifically black people. I wasn't brought up 'culturally' black anyway - my dad is white and my mum is a bradford mutt - irish, english and west indian. my mum's dad was like a black/irish alf garnett - he sounded like fucking beowulf, without a trace of irony - so her upbringing was fairly 'British' as well. So I think it would be a bit pretentious of me to be honest. ;D
Thanks for answering, Dunc.
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why is the forum still black? my poor eyes... :(
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er, cos I haven't changed it yet. ahem. :angel:
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I find this much easier to read than the black background with white lettering. Thanks.
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er, cos I haven't changed it yet. ahem. :angel:
go ahead dunc, i was only joking.
if you see me doind a 'woe is me' act, know for sure that i am kidding.
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ta, dunc.
/sings... "i get knocked down, but i get up again..." :D
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I find this much easier to read than the black background with white lettering. Thanks.
I have too.
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i really don't care about whats going on in your life
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hey richard, can we call you DICK?
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not one mark left. i pissed all over this site and this was the last remaining hint of my odor. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( >:( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( >:( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( >:( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
if that black background didn't bother you then obviously you aren'i an aspie.
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Indeed, he is a turnip.
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hey richard, can we call you DICK?
sure if you let me slap you in the face with it
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hey richard, can we call you DICK?
sure if you let me slap you in the face with it
sure, what the hell, why not.
so how are ya, DICK?
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im doing alright brah
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hey richard, can we call you DICK?
sure if you let me slap you in the face with it
sure, what the hell, why not.
so how are ya, DICK?
:laugh: +1
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(http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2005/20050211h.jpg)
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That is really funny, Nomaken.
+
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Yeah very funny Nomaken but I will not give You any karma for it.
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lol very clever kevv...i'm not giving you any karma for that either
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um, i feel completely fucked with.
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;) ;D
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um, i feel completely fucked with.
I feel Schadenfreude.
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I am theorising my masterplan for the 14th and final crusade, which will bring us victory once and for all!
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I am theorising my masterplan for the 14th and final crusade, which will bring us victory once and for all!
I'm fairly sure you can get medication for that. >:D
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I am theorising my masterplan for the 14th and final crusade, which will bring us victory once and for all!
that's nice, crusader. are you managing to do that okay with the crayons, or are you allowed pencils, under supervision?
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I am theorising my masterplan for the 14th and final crusade, which will bring us victory once and for all!
I'm fairly sure you can get medication for that. >:D
My medication, humble one, is the blood of Christ.
AMEN!
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I am theorising my masterplan for the 14th and final crusade, which will bring us victory once and for all!
I'm fairly sure you can get medication for that. >:D
My medication, humble one, is the blood of Christ.
AMEN!
you might want to check the expiry date on that...
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can the blood of christ Go Off, then?
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I assume so. And as far as I know it isn't usually prescribed for psychotic breaks...
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well, there you go. anyway, depending on how far you take transubstantiation, it's wine, at some point, at least. so he/she could just be completely wankered, of course.
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My sword will be drenched with the blood of Muslims I shall slay. But I suspect you may I have drunk that poison, that is why you are having psychotic reactions.
The only blood I drink is Holy Wine! May the Lord have strength in me.
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but you are a coward.
i doubt highly that any action (except internet trolling) will be taken by you.
unless you whip out your white sheet and pointed mask/cap!
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Set off on your crusade then. I'm sure we'd all enjoy the news reports 'Deranged Knight Gets Arse Kicked By Giggling Mob' ;D
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Again. He's a fucking hypocrite. It's not okay for Muslims to kill for religious reasons, but it's okay for Christians to do it. ::)
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+1 for carla.
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:)
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again, i wouldn't even bother joining in a debate with this pseudo-loony, cos there isn't one.
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Set off on your crusade then. I'm sure we'd all enjoy the news reports 'Deranged Knight Gets Arse Kicked By Giggling Mob'Â ;D
But would you DARE challenge such a hero when he seriously has sword training? You would be slain in the blink of an eye, in the Lord's name.
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again, i wouldn't even bother joining in a debate with this pseudo-loony, cos there isn't one.
I beg to differ. There's nothing "pseudo" about this one.
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Set off on your crusade then. I'm sure we'd all enjoy the news reports 'Deranged Knight Gets Arse Kicked By Giggling Mob' ;D
But would you DARE challenge such a hero when he seriously has sword training? You would be slain in the blink of an eye, in the Lord's name.
LOL. Don Quixote rides again...
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christ almighty - am i glad i ain't a windmill, or what?
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Actually, with that guy as Don Quixote, being the windmill is about as safe you can be. :P
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good point. should i wave my arms about in an attractive way, then?
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Can you do it in any other way? :-*
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:-*
i think i love this man...
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;D
But don't let me interrupt anything. We were talking about windmills.
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is there anything sexual about windmills, then?
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Nothing I'm aware of but that can change.
Hang on, we aren't disupting the flow of this thread, are we?
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Nothing I'm aware of but that can change.
Hang on, we aren't disupting the flow of this thread, are we?
Just lately do any of the threads seem to have a flow to disrupt anyway? :laugh:
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I'm sure I can think of one if you give me a second or two. :laugh:
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I'm sure I can think of one if you give me a second or two. :laugh:
Ok but I won't hold my breath :D
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i made you 100, i made you 100!
yay!
PI!! woo hoo!
;D
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Damn- now I truly most be evil- isnt it the case the higher the karma the more evil you are? >:D
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oh. right.
well, in that case...
DOUBLE WOO HOO!!!
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i remember once on WP when ante showed up as postante and he was mr. conservative.
must be a british male thing.
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How dare you think Windmills can be sexual, how unholy you are! The only windmill you will meet is when I swing my broadsword as a web of death to which you will gladly run in to!
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It still posts?
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As creative writing goes, its more flailing blindly than sharp and pointed. Methinks thy broadsword needs a bit more of an edge.... :laugh:
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As creative writing goes, its more flailing blindly than sharp and pointed. Methinks thy broadsword needs a bit more of an edge.... :laugh:
especially against a grizzly...
tough skin and all! ;)
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It still posts?
apparently, but i bet it can't post and chew gum at the same time.
anyway, it's getting v dull.
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It still posts?
apparently, but i bet it can't post and chew gum at the same time.
anyway, it's getting v dull.
Extremely. It's one of those nights. I'm bored silly.
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It still posts?
apparently, but i bet it can't post and chew gum at the same time.
anyway, it's getting v dull.
Extremely. It's one of those nights. I'm bored silly.
i have a cure!
learn to love drunken chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.
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Extremely. It's one of those nights. I'm bored silly.
i have a cure!
learn to love drunken chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.
Nope, it freaks me out. It's not worth it. Sorry. It's possible that I'll lurk but I don't have the multitasking necessary to participate in a chatroom.
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Extremely. It's one of those nights. I'm bored silly.
i have a cure!
learn to love drunken chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.
Nope, it freaks me out. It's not worth it. Sorry. It's possible that I'll lurk but I don't have the multitasking necessary to participate in a chatroom.
will you save the log and post it?
noone ever posted the original.
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never mind, my little swedish sausage (veggie, of course), i'm here. :-*
you can monotask with me. ;)
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When's the stupid chat, anyway?
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When's the stupid chat, anyway?
Since you think its stupid I aren't going to tell you :P
Btw- I don't multitask all that well either- I just make chat my only task.
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liar. you were necking it last week, as well, as i recall, pmsl! :P ;)
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liar. you were necking it last week, as well, as i recall, pmsl! :P ;)
Actually yes, I was drinking like a fish and smoking like a chimney too, the only thing I didn't manage was shagging like a rabbit :laugh:
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When's the stupid chat, anyway?
Since you think its stupid I aren't going to tell you :P
Btw- I don't multitask all that well either- I just make chat my only task.
Doesn't it freak you out? Stress you out? Anything? I'm the only one who can't handle it? ??? :'(
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When's the stupid chat, anyway?
Since you think its stupid I aren't going to tell you :P
Btw- I don't multitask all that well either- I just make chat my only task.
Doesn't it freak you out? Stress you out? Anything? I'm the only one who can't handle it? ??? :'(
The thought of it stresses me out but once I'm in there I usually enjoy it. I used to be obsessed with certain chat rooms though ;)
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When's the stupid chat, anyway?
In two or three hours.
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liar. you were necking it last week, as well, as i recall, pmsl! :P ;)
Actually yes, I was drinking like a fish and smoking like a chimney too, the only thing I didn't manage was shagging like a rabbit :laugh:
why not?
Doesn't it freak you out? Stress you out? Anything? I'm the only one who can't handle it? ??? :'(
i found it difficult as well, to be honest, and i'm a chat veteran, as dunc will tell you. oh those halcyon days of winding up... well, everybody really, eh dunc? and jagni the perv. and jay with his spatula. and the bloke beginning with g and his chocolate. great days, great days...
(well, nights and early morning, really).
anyway, so, no, you ain't the only one.
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liar. you were necking it last week, as well, as i recall, pmsl! :P ;)
Actually yes, I was drinking like a fish and smoking like a chimney too, the only thing I didn't manage was shagging like a rabbit :laugh:
why not?
Guess I must have been too drunk to fuck :o It was the wine that did it, it always makes me sleepy.
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mega points for "Too Drunk to Fuck"!!
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liar. you were necking it last week, as well, as i recall, pmsl! :P ;)
Actually yes, I was drinking like a fish and smoking like a chimney too, the only thing I didn't manage was shagging like a rabbit :laugh:
but dunc left to tuck you in and he was gone for a solid 30 minutes.
you greedy little, and demanding get!
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i found it difficult as well, to be honest, and i'm a chat veteran, as dunc will tell you. oh those halcyon days of winding up... well, everybody really, eh dunc? and jagni the perv. and jay with his spatula. and the bloke beginning with g and his chocolate. great days, great days...
(well, nights and early morning, really).
anyway, so, no, you ain't the only one.
Sure sounds difficult to me, the way you describe those bygone days. :-\
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nah, you'd manage That Sort Of Thing splendidly, and if you couldn't, i'm sure you're a quick learner... ;)
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??? As long as it doesn't involve multitasking.
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As creative writing goes, its more flailing blindly than sharp and pointed. Methinks thy broadsword needs a bit more of an edge.... :laugh:
I am much better at creative butchery than writing dear foe. I would love to challenge you in hand to hand combat. I'm sure I could make you bloody pretty!
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I doubt it, thou mediaeval knob jockey. ;D
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Oh, it's here, too. Better not feed it, though.
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CRAP!
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Crap?
You're being rather vocal tonight?
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it's my campaign. do pay attention. tut.
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anyway, i thought you liked my *ahem* "quiet" responses? ;)
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Quiet? You're saying "crap" all the time... :'(
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no i'm not!
i'm saying "C.R.A.P." which is entirely different.
besides, i meant my quieter responses in our more... intimate moments, darl'... ;) :-*
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Oh... :-[
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I doubt it, thou mediaeval knob jockey. ;D
Did you get circumcized at birth because your screech is so high I can barely hear you. Challenge me to a joust and I will knock you off your horse with your torso hanging on the end of my lance!
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Do you have dreams of long pink trains going into tunnels?
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nah - he has dreams, nay fantasies, of mediocrity.