INTENSITY²
Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: McGiver on July 02, 2006, 01:19:17 AM
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i think its time i become obsessed with it.
i am getting too old to always be full of piss and vinegar.
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First, responsibility, now humility. That's impressive. And all this after spending a week with the girls. Children sure are great for teaching us what really matters. And keeping us humble.
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Why should you be humble though? I have my own answer, but i'm wondering what others answers are(since mine seems to not be very deep)
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Humility allows me to not have a neurotic need to be right, it allows me to make mistakes, allows me to learn more easily about myself and others (always a challenge), enables me to not be an asshole (IRL) all the time.
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Yeah - how will humility benefit you, and why is it dependent on age?
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age is because a person realizes that they are not and will never be a one person army affecing change.
i guess you just lose the stomach for it.
when you are younger you have life by the tail, you have all the answers. as you age you lose the piss and vinegar. you become numb in a way, and you pursue greedy desires and decide ah well, if you cant beat em you may as well join em.
believe me, i hate this internal struggle and i have been doing everything to fight it off.
for instance.
my wife and i took the kids to soak city on friday (part of knotts berryfarm theme park). afterwards we went to Knott's famous fried chicken dinner house. its packed, but that doesn't stop me from having a Jell-o fight with my girls. it ended up everywhere; the walls, the table, my face and all ofer the front of my shirt.
yes i am a kid at heart and have been acting out in more and more overt ways to remind myself that this is where i want to remain. but, i am not stupid, i can feel my internal struggle.
BTW- my wife was mortified. she told all her friends in great detail, laughing and smiling the entire time. she was proud.
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The idea of humility is being tarnished by people who think that being humble sets them on a higher level than others. Truly humble people don't really care about that stuff.
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oh ye of a small mind
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whats wrong with talking yourself into it.
first, then practicing it second
huh, be-otch
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Read this holy book and be made humble. (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0740700251/104-5538757-6259147?v=glance&n=283155)
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humility is far above and beyond me.
but I do wish to thank the guys who came up with a really asstonding Idea. - and it worked
The earth flies thru the universe at 67,000 miles per hour completing its trip around the sun in one year after traveling 586,920,000 miles. During this time, the earth is also rotating on its own axis at 1000 miles per, hour measured at the equator.
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age is because a person realizes that they are not and will never be a one person army affecing change.
i guess you just lose the stomach for it.
when you are younger you have life by the tail, you have all the answers. as you age you lose the piss and vinegar. you become numb in a way, and you pursue greedy desires and decide ah well, if you cant beat em you may as well join em.
believe me, i hate this internal struggle and i have been doing everything to fight it off.
I believe you. I really hope I never get old and tired. It's actually one of my main goals - to reach old age and still keep optimism and ideals. My mother's mother is one of my relatives that I respect the most... she can be 85, have all kinds of health problems, and still have the enthusiasm, curiosity, and fun spirit of a child.
I'm hoping that even if I get older and decide I don't have all the answers, the tradeoff of increased wisdom will be worth it.
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you remember my thread on WP.
how i desire to be a grumpy old man?
i don't know, i really am thinking of being a kindler gentler version of the one you see before you today.
i dont know if i can ever lose my abrasiveness though.
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Why do you want to be kinder and gentler?
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to be a better example for my kids.
i am rough around the edges; wild. i am a bit on the terse side.
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to be a better example for my kids.
i am rough around the edges; wild. i am a bit on the terse side.
terse
reset
trees
terse side = set desire
;)
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Personally I am largely humble to avoid the contempt of others.
It is one of my goals in life, to be thought of as a okay person at least, or a pretty nifty person at best. I would like to be a person everybody loves, but having an attitude which exudes "I wanna be loved by everyone" usually causes a good amount of people to hate you, so i try to keep that at the edge of my consciousness if not below it.
You can go through life with many helpful philosophies like try not to care what other people think, which if you actually try to follow and succede(its hard to do) partially at it(as far as i know it is impossible for a normal, healthy individual to completely disregard what other people think) you will often be made happier and probably more productive.
However almost always, in order to be fully happy, you need to experience some kind of sentiments from people. It might be approval, it might be amusement, it might be admiration, it might just be tolerance or respect. Few people can live really happily totally without input from others. And incase you wanna say you are such a person, take a moment to wonder why then you browse this forum.
Using meditation and study you can come up with answers and rationalizations about pretty much everything in life that you cannot alter. With patience and training you can even alter your emotional reactions to many things. Not totally however, definitely not. I have gotten to a point where I am okay with everything in life, I know where I'm going, I have a loose outline with what i'm going to do with my life, and where and when i'm going to die, and if my plan gets fucked up, I have already prepared myself to be comfortable with it. If a killer were to come into my room right now and slit my throat my last thought would be more like, "This is cute, to be killed in exactly the way i imagined in a bizarre fantasy 10 seconds before hand." Than, "I'm not ready, i'm not ready, i still have more to d-glarkablle"
However the last two things I have left to deal with really are my memories, and the contempt of others. Those are the only two things left that cause me pain. The memories problem is rather stupid and petty and I just gotta train myself emotionally to not be bothered by previous embarassing moments.
The contempt of others is, however, a more complicated issue. I could say that their contempt is their problem, but my pain when I know they have contempt for me is not, i feel, something I can understand my way out of. Like I feel that the embarassing moments that cause me pain cannot be logicked, or rationalized away, i feel that my pain of being held in contempt cannot simply be reasoned away.
I can do two things to alleviate this pain, train myself emotionally to be unbothered by my memories of being held in contempt, or behave in such a way to lessen future contempt.
I'm currently trying to behave in a way to lessen future contempt because I will have the opportunity to do the prior at the end of my life, but i wont have the opportunity to do the second at the end of my life, and the first is a lot harder than the second imo.
So I attempt to become humble in order to alleviate others contempt of me. It is the best non-value related thing I can change in order to be less held in contempt by others.
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you will never challenge others to be better?
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Not challenge, no, but maybe manipulate them into it.
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how?
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It is highly dependant on the situation and person. I plan to become a teacher and a therapist to help those who care more about life to be more effective at changing it into what they want. I already manipulated one of my friends into becoming a pilot rather than a cop.
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could you manipulate me into becoming a kindler, gentler person?
what do you do?
is it hypnotical gazes?
jedi mind tricks?
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Possibly, but it would take a long time, and the very fact that you know i'm trying makes it harder for me to affect you.
Generally speaking the best way to become a better person - in any respect, is to get a friend which really accepts you.
If you have a friend which accepts you, and will give a rewarding response to everything you say, you will eventually trust them, and vent all the things which are bothering you but don't tell anybody anymore because they never empathize with you. Hearing someone acknowledge how you are at least partially right in some situation, which you always knew was true but nobody gave you that recognition, will clense some of your anger, and make you more comfortable with acknowledging other peoples partial rightness during disagreements.
You will feel better in general after a while, because you've been learning that there are good people out there. And when you've vented a bunch of your problems which people never let you vent(for one reason or another), others bitching will become less bothersome.
When you find someone who so casually accepts you, you will also begin to realize how little other peoples opinions matter about you when you find someone who doesn't so quickly judge you and want to change you.
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wow namoken, i accept that and submit that you are at least partially right.