INTENSITY²
Start here => Free For ALL => Topic started by: Natalia Evans on January 22, 2008, 12:29:55 AM
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I've been told by a few people on WP I am going to lose my boyfriend because of lack of sex and I keep sending off the wrong signals to him that I want to have it. But he keeps saying he will never leave me but I never buy it because men have said that before to their women and bam they leave them one day but he says he isn't like other men. He says he is the luckiest guy in the world and the other two blew it lol.
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There are some males (few are far between but they do exist) that have little or no interest in sex.
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I lost two boyfriends because of this but then I met GA. It may be the same with your boyfriend. He may really mean it when he says he feels like the luckiest guy in the world.
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You should dump him before he dumps you, believe me it's much easier if you are calling the shots.
Get "hand" in the relationship.
(http://heavenandheck.files.wordpress.com/2006/12/george_costanza.jpg)
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Nothing lasts forever. Even if he sticks with you,
one of you is going to die first (likely). Enjoy
what you have, as much as you possibly can,
and that will only make the time better - and
probably longer. A lesson I HOPE that I've learned.
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Cal is correct.
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Cal is correct.
Surprising isn't it?
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Cal is correct.
Surprising isn't it?
Not at all. I usually am.
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Cal is correct.
Surprising isn't it?
Not at all. I usually am.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
:lol:
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I've been told by a few people on WP I am going to lose my boyfriend because of lack of sex and I keep sending off the wrong signals to him that I want to have it. But he keeps saying he will never leave me but I never buy it because men have said that before to their women and bam they leave them one day but he says he isn't like other men. He says he is the luckiest guy in the world and the other two blew it lol.
Why do you pay attention to what some muppets say on WP? Just because they had bad experiences with men doesn't necessarily mean that you automatically will.
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I have to agree. Some relationships work, some don't, why, who knows, nobody knows. There's no set formula. There's a lot of luck, work, and a lot of little odd bits that combine in different ways for different people. An advice columnist wrote the best line in regard to this. "Are you better with or without him?"
As the "P" said, who gives a shit what a bunch of electrons think about your relationship. It's none of my business and it's none of theirs. Your the one who has to live your life.
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^Well said. I wouldn't bother asking anyone for advice about relationships. I think deep down we all know what we need to do with our lives. Asking someone else means you need their validation to feel good about yourself, and screw that. If someone close to you really cares about you, they'll tell you when you're fucking up.
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I KNOW that I know more now (about me
and what I need and can give) than I did
before though. It wasn't so clear then.
So, advice IS helpful, if only to consolidate
and refine your own views.
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^Well said. I wouldn't bother asking anyone for advice about relationships. I think deep down we all know what we need to do with our lives. Asking someone else means you need their validation to feel good about yourself, and screw that. If someone close to you really cares about you, they'll tell you when you're fucking up.
Agreed, the ONLY people you should accept advice from is people that you have learned to trust and who have given you good advice before. People who's opinions you value. AND then ONLY accept what truly fits your situation. What do you want? Are you happy?? What are your plans?? Those are the questions that only you have the answer for. Not people on a message board.
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I would be thinking about self actualization, am I bringing to the table my best, and if so, let em fuck off.
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^Well said. I wouldn't bother asking anyone for advice about relationships. I think deep down we all know what we need to do with our lives. Asking someone else means you need their validation to feel good about yourself, and screw that. If someone close to you really cares about you, they'll tell you when you're fucking up.
Agreed, the ONLY people you should accept advice from is people that you have learned to trust and who have given you good advice before. People who's opinions you value. AND then ONLY accept what truly fits your situation. What do you want? Are you happy?? What are your plans?? Those are the questions that only you have the answer for. Not people on a message board.
You value my electrons though, big boy.
You know you want it.
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Oh you know it, you big throbbing hunk of neutrons! :eyebrows:
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I don't think you will lose him if he's anything worth being with
If you lose him from laxk of sex then he's probably not very good anyway
But then I don't know shit about all this so don't listen to me
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^Well said. I wouldn't bother asking anyone for advice about relationships. I think deep down we all know what we need to do with our lives. Asking someone else means you need their validation to feel good about yourself, and screw that. If someone close to you really cares about you, they'll tell you when you're fucking up.
Agreed, the ONLY people you should accept advice from is people that you have learned to trust and who have given you good advice before. People who's opinions you value. AND then ONLY accept what truly fits your situation. What do you want? Are you happy?? What are your plans?? Those are the questions that only you have the answer for. Not people on a message board.
yes this is true
listen to these people
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I don't think you will lose him if he's anything worth being with
If you lose him from laxk of sex then he's probably not very good anyway
But then I don't know shit about all this so don't listen to me
I don't know. I'd have a tough time dealing
in a relationship without a lot of sex - especially
early on. Actually though, it gets easier later.
But, if interests aren't compatible, in this ONE
area, how would you feel about letting him
fuck someone else?
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I don't think you will lose him if he's anything worth being with
If you lose him from laxk of sex then he's probably not very good anyway
But then I don't know shit about all this so don't listen to me
I don't know. I'd have a tough time dealing
in a relationship without a lot of sex - especially
early on. Actually though, it gets easier later.
But, if interests aren't compatible, in this ONE
area, how would you feel about letting him
fuck someone else?
for SG it wouldn't be right though, to be with someone who would leave her without getting laid every day I mean.
Well, I assume, that's not what she wants if there is alck of sex anyway
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But, if interests aren't compatible, in this ONE
area, how would you feel about letting him
fuck someone else?
and I am assuming this bit is not directing at me?
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Yeah. Thing is, maybe their diaper play
is MORE important, in general. Which is
why I asked the question about letting
him screw others.
and I am assuming this bit is not directing at me?
How COULD it be? :asthing:
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No sex when sex is wanted DOES tend to put a lot of strain on a relationship.
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I don't think you will lose him if he's anything worth being with
If you lose him from laxk of sex then he's probably not very good anyway
But then I don't know shit about all this so don't listen to me
Actually, DO listen to Soph. Words of wisdom.
I don't know. I'd have a tough time dealing
in a relationship without a lot of sex - especially
early on. Actually though, it gets easier later.
But, if interests aren't compatible, in this ONE
area, how would you feel about letting him
fuck someone else?
for SG it wouldn't be right though, to be with someone who would leave her without getting laid every day I mean.
Well, I assume, that's not what she wants if there is alck of sex anyway
Cal- I couldn't be in a celibate relationship either, but I wouldn't be so much of an asshole that i'd try to cooerce someone who wasn't willing. If he needs someone who's going to have sex all the time, he should screen out people who are incompatable with that.
Soph- agreed.
No sex when sex is wanted DOES tend to put a lot of strain on a relationship.
Yes, it does indeed.
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Cal- I couldn't be in a celibate relationship either, but I wouldn't be so much of an asshole that i'd try to cooerce someone who wasn't willing. If he needs someone who's going to have sex all the time, he should screen out people who are incompatable with that.
Soph- agreed.
Yeah I think that's what I was trying to say last night
It's not necessarily that he wants to have sex more than she does that would make it fucked up - it's that he would try and get her to if she doesn't want to as much, and leave her if she didn't
And if that is the case, I don't think he is the right person for her and they should be with different people anyway
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I don't know. I'd have a tough time dealing
in a relationship without a lot of sex - especially
early on. Actually though, it gets easier later.
But, if interests aren't compatible, in this ONE
area, how would you feel about letting him
fuck someone else?
for SG it wouldn't be right though, to be with someone who would leave her without getting laid every day I mean.
Well, I assume, that's not what she wants if there is alck of sex anyway
Cal- I couldn't be in a celibate relationship either, but I wouldn't be so much of an asshole that i'd try to cooerce someone who wasn't willing. If he needs someone who's going to have sex all the time, he should screen out people who are incompatable with that.
I haven't really gotten the view that he's
someone who wants to have sex ALL the
time. Hell, look how long it took.
Now, if having sex is simply impossible for
someone, it seems perfectly reasonable to
me, to consider other options. One of those
options is to open up the relationship, in at
least that regard. The thing is, they may share
something which is more important than sex
can ever be, to either of them. Something which
is much more difficult to find.
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I haven't really gotten the view that he's
someone who wants to have sex ALL the
time. Hell, look how long it took.
Now, if having sex is simply impossible for
someone, it seems perfectly reasonable to
me, to consider other options. One of those
options is to open up the relationship, in at
least that regard. The thing is, they may share
something which is more important than sex
can ever be, to either of them. Something which
is much more difficult to find.
*snort* And I'm suuuuuuure he was voluntarily celibate up 'till now.
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I am pretty sure he was waiting for her to be ready, him not having a real choice in the matter makes it not really voluntary. It is being pretty damn patient. Waiting a year to have sex with your girlfriend? It is inevitable that he would get antsy after a while. That is pretty much unheard of, outside of religious types. I could not do it, personally. I think he just wanted to lose his virginity, the coming months will tell her how often he really wants to have sex. It is a little early in their sex life to determine how often he wants to get it on. There isn't exactly much of a sample size.
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I am pretty sure he was waiting for her to be ready, him not having a real choice in the matter makes it not really voluntary. It is being pretty damn patient. Waiting a year to have sex with your girlfriend? It is inevitable that he would get antsy after a while. That is pretty much unheard of, outside of religious types. I could not do it, personally. I think he just wanted to lose his virginity, the coming months will tell her how often he really wants to have sex. It is a little early in their sex life to determine how often he wants to get it on. There isn't exactly much of a sample size.
No shit, sherlock.
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I am pretty sure he was waiting for her to be ready, him not having a real choice in the matter makes it not really voluntary. It is being pretty damn patient. Waiting a year to have sex with your girlfriend? It is inevitable that he would get antsy after a while. That is pretty much unheard of, outside of religious types. I could not do it, personally. I think he just wanted to lose his virginity, the coming months will tell her how often he really wants to have sex. It is a little early in their sex life to determine how often he wants to get it on. There isn't exactly much of a sample size.
No shit, sherlock.
You can call me Captain Obvious, dear Watson. She still has yet to find out if her boyfriend was a sex addict waiting to happen or if he has a normal sex drive. The guy bothered her about it quite a bit, his virginity played a huge role in why he bothered her about sex. She didn't know his sexual appetite beforehand due to him being a virgin. Usually you would find out earlier than one year into the relationship whether the person wants to fuck more often than you want to.
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Well look, if the fact of the matter is
that he's not going to get much anyhow,
and she'll put out, now and then, I don't
see a problem.
I just think that they ought to be open
about expectations, and come to a decision,
rather than each be coming from different
assumptions.
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Yeah he isn't going to get it very often. He knew she was not into sex going into the relationship probably, so its not like he has false expectations. They should talk out their expectations, I agree. I don't think they should agree upon a # of times they have sex each month or anything. That just takes the spontaneity out of sex, which imo isn't good.
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Sticking to hard numbers is probably NOT a
great idea, but hashing them out, as a
guideline may not be so bad.
I know what you mean about the spontaneity.
My wife basically had a deal with me, where
she would give me anal, any time I asked a
day in advance. I don't think I ever used that.
Then again, I don't like asking.
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I haven't really gotten the view that he's
someone who wants to have sex ALL the
time. Hell, look how long it took.
Now, if having sex is simply impossible for
someone, it seems perfectly reasonable to
me, to consider other options. One of those
options is to open up the relationship, in at
least that regard. The thing is, they may share
something which is more important than sex
can ever be, to either of them. Something which
is much more difficult to find.
*snort* And I'm suuuuuuure he was voluntarily celibate up 'till now.
SpokaneGirl can handle driving a car, manage a job, and has the mental capacity to say no to something she isn't keen on.
Butt out: she's a fucking adult.
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WTF? This has NOTHING to do with thinking otherwise.
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WTF? This has NOTHING to do with thinking otherwise.
I phail? Oh wells.
Not embarrassed by it.
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WTF? This has NOTHING to do with thinking otherwise.
I phail? Oh wells.
Not embarrassed by it.
You should NEVER be embarrassed of what
you're best at.
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WTF? This has NOTHING to do with thinking otherwise.
I phail? Oh wells.
Not embarrassed by it.
You should NEVER be embarrassed of what
you're best at.
Quit being such a snide whore of shameless sublety, and just come out with the fact that I'm an idiot, Canderel -- I can take it.
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WTF? This has NOTHING to do with thinking otherwise.
I phail? Oh wells.
Not embarrassed by it.
You should NEVER be embarrassed of what
you're best at.
Quit being such a snide whore of shameless sublety, and just come out with the fact that I'm an idiot, Canderel -- I can take it.
There's NO humor in blatant methods
such as you use.
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WTF? This has NOTHING to do with thinking otherwise.
I phail? Oh wells.
Not embarrassed by it.
You should NEVER be embarrassed of what
you're best at.
Quit being such a snide whore of shameless sublety, and just come out with the fact that I'm an idiot, Canderel -- I can take it.
There's NO humor in blatant methods
such as you use.
Guess what, you deluded motherfucker? I don't care.
Do you know why? It's because the world does not revolve around your trival opinions, you silly narcissist.
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Guess what, you deluded motherfucker? I don't care.
Do you know why? It's because the world does not revolve around your trival opinions, you silly narcissist.
More likely, you simply lack the talent to manage it.
Much easier to just hurl playground insults about.
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Guess what, you deluded motherfucker? I don't care.
Do you know why? It's because the world does not revolve around your trival opinions, you silly narcissist.
More likely, you simply lack the talent to manage it.
Much easier to just hurl playground insults about.
Damn straight: it's much easier to hurl playground insults when you don't even have to try with the low-rate spam whore of I2.
Now that's been resolved, go back to your corner.
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Guess what, you deluded motherfucker? I don't care.
Do you know why? It's because the world does not revolve around your trival opinions, you silly narcissist.
More likely, you simply lack the talent to manage it.
Much easier to just hurl playground insults about.
Damn straight: it's much easier to hurl playground insults when you don't even have to try with the low-rate spam whore of I2.
Now that's been resolved, go back to your corner.
Not too shabby. Still, I'm the BEST spam whore there is,
so, 'tis a bit unfair. Others could touch my numbers, but
none my talent.
But, keep playing. Maybe you'll learn to rise above the
level that you've been at. Surely, you see how pathetic
those who are like you come off?
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:popcorn:
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SpokaneGirl can handle driving a car, manage a job, and has the mental capacity to say no to something she isn't keen on.
Butt out: she's a fucking adult.
but does she WANT to be? :P
And, I'm not questioning her functionality, and not trying to insult her intelligence. I have a tendency to do this, especially when I see a storm a-brewin'; this kicks in without any consideration of the ability of the person I am concerned about's ability to drive, hold a job, or "just say no."