INTENSITY²
Start here => Games => Topic started by: Callaway on February 17, 2007, 03:43:37 PM
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Abusing the wicked stick
Adjusting the antenna
Aiding and abetting a known felon
Applying the hand brake
Arguing with Henry Longfellow
Arm-wrestle with your one-eyed vessel
Attack the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
Audition your hand puppet
Backstroke roulette
Badgering the witness
Barking up the wrong tree
Bash the candle
Basting the ham
Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger
Being rough with the sex stick
Be your own best friend
Beat the bishop
Beat the bologna
Beat the dummy
Beat the meat
Beat the pud
Beat the stick
Beat up your date
Beef tips stroking off
Bleed the weed
Blow your own horn
Bludgeon the beefsteak
Bop the bologna
Bop the bonzo
Box the Jesuit
Box with Richard
Brushing up on your typing skills
Buff the banana
Bugger your hand
Building upper-body strength
Burp the baby
Burp the worm
Butter the corn
Calling down for more mayo
Calling in the secret service
Caning the vandal
Caulking the cracks in the bathroom tile
Charm the snake
Check for testicular cancer
Cheese off
Choke Kojak
Choke the chicken
Choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come
Clamp the pipe
Clean your rifle
Cleaning out your account
Clear the snorkel
Climb the tree
Closet Frisbee
Combing the hair on your bald pig Sally
Combing your hair
Communing with nature
Consulting with your silent partner
Corral your tadpole
Couch hockey for one
Crank the love pump
Crank the shank
Crimp the wire
Crown the king
Crushing pop cans in the dark
Cuddle the kielbasa
Cuff the carrot
Daisy-chaining
Dancing in the dragon's fiery breath
Dancing with the one-eyed sailor
Date Miss Michigan
Date Mrs. Palmer and her five daughters
Date Rosie Palm and her five sisters
Debugging the hard drive
Defrosting the fridge
Digital penile oscillation
Discovering your own potential
Distributing free literature
Do handiwork
Do it your way
Do the janitor thing
Do the white knuckler
Doing your homework
Drain the monster
Dry humping the ottoman
Eating grapes with the one-armed man
Electing the President
Engage in safe sex
Exercise one's right
Exercising your right to privacy
Fastening the chin strap on the helmet of love
Feed the ducks
Feeding bologna to the Smurfs
Feeling your way around
Fiddle the flesh flute
Firing the pound gun
Fishing with dynamite
Fist your mister
Five knuckle shuffle
Flick your Bic
Fling your phallus
Flip the bishop
Flipping your omelet
Flog the bishop
Flog the dolphin
Flog the dong
Flog the log
Flog the mule
Flogging the egg man
Fly fishing
Fondle your flagpole
Free Willy
Frost the pastries
Frosting your maple bar
Frying up the corndog
Gallop the old lizard
Gardening with the golden trowel
Genital stimulation via phallengetic motion
Get a date with Slick Mittens
Get the German soldier marching
Get to know yourself
Get your pole varnished
Give it a tug
Give your low five
Giving the half-blind dog a run for his money
Go a couple of rounds with ol' Josh
Go blind
Go on a date with Fisty Palmer
Go on a date with Handrea and Palmela
Go the blow
Going Hans Solo on Darth Vader's head
Goose the gherkin
Grease the pipe
Greasing the three-legged cow
Hand job
Hard labor
Have one off the wrist
Helping put Mr. Kleenex's kids through college
Hitchhike to heaven
Hitchhike underneath the big top
Hitting too close to home
Hoisting your own petard
Hold the bishop
Hold the sausage hostage
Holding your own
Hone the cone
Honk your horn
Hosing down the driveway
Hotfooting it to the nearest exit
Hug the hog
Hump your hose
Investing in pork bellies
Invoking the Oscar Meyer love spell
Jack hammer
Jazz yourself
Jerk Jamby
Jerk the gherkin
Left to your own devices
Letting the cat out of the bag
Liquidating the inventory
Locking the bathroom door
Look for ticks
Looking for clues with Fred and Daphne
Lope the mule
Love the Muppet
Love's labors lost
Lubricating the love monkey
Make a foreskin cone
Make instant pudding
Make the bald man puke
Making a cash withdrawal
Making chowder with sailor Ned
Making it up as you go along
Making magic with leftovers
Making soup
Making the bald man cry
Making the bread rise
Making the world safe for democracy
Mangle the midget
Manipulate the mango
Manual labor
Manual override
Master Bacon, meet Rosie Hancock
Meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters
Milk the lizard
Milk the moose
Milk the self
Mount a corporal and four
Much goo about nothing
Nerk your throbber
Null the void
Oil the glove
Onan's olympics
One gun salute
One man band
One-night-stand with yourself
Opening the flood gates
Pack your palm
Paddle the pickle
Paint the ceiling
Paint the pickle
Painting the flag pole
Painting the picket fence
Palm the calm
Paying at the turnpike
Peel the banana
Perform diagnostics on your man tool
Pet the lizard
Pip the pumpkin
Play a little five-on-one
Play a one-stringed guitar
Play five against one
Play in a one-man show
Play peek-a-boo
Play pocket pinball
Play pocket pool
Play tag with the pink torpedo
Play the skin flute
Play tug-o-war with Cyclops
Play Uno
Playing it safe
Playing the one-stringed melody
Playing the single-string air guitar
Plugging in the toaster
Plunk your twanger
Polish Percy in your palm
Polish the family jewels
Polish the helmet
Polish the rocket
Polish the rock-hard staff of St. Peter
Polish the sword
Pound off
Pound the bald-headed moose
Pound the pud
Pound your flounder
Pounding the fence post
Prepare the carrot
Prime the pump
Pull rank
Pull the bologna pony
Pull the carrot
Pull the goalie
Pull the pole
Pull the Pope
Pull the pud
Pull your own leg
Pull your taffy
Pulling your own weight
Pulling yourself up by your own bootstrap
Pump the python
Pump the stump
Punch the clown
Punch the munchkin
Punish Percy in your palm
Putting your best foot forward
Putting your foot down
Putting your thumb in the porridge
Raining on your parade
Ram the ham
Relishing your hot dog
Riding the five-legged pony
Roll your own
Rolling it off the lot
Romeo and himself
Rope the pony
Rope the Pope
Rub one out
Rub the pink eraser
Rubbing Buddha's tummy
Run off a batch by hand
Sacrifice sperm to the god of lonely nights
Safest sex
Sailing the mayonnaise seas
Saluting the general
Sampling the secret sauce
Sand wood
Scour the tower of power
Scraping the bottom of the barrel
Scratch the itch
Screwing your courage to the sticking place
Secret handshake
Self abuse
Self-induced penile regurgitation
Sex with someone you really love
Shake hands with Abe Lincoln
Shake hands with the midget
Shake hands with the unemployed
Shake hands with your John Thomas
Shake hands with your wife's best friend
Shake hands with Yul Brynner
Shake the sauce
Shake the sausage
Shake the snake
Shaking hands with Dr. Winky
Shellac the shillelagh
Shemp the hog
Shift gears
Shine the helmet
Shine your pole
Shoot for the moon
Shoot putty at the moon
Shoot the airplane
Shooting yourself in the foot
Shuck your corn
Sizing things up
Slam the ham
Slam the salami
Slam the salmon
Slam the Spam
Slap high fives with Yul Brynner
Slap it
Slap pappy
Slap the carrot
Slap the clown
Slap the donkey
Slap the purple-headed yogurt pistol
Slap the salami
Slapping Johnny on the back
Sling the jelly
Smack the salami
Smiting the pink knight
Snap the monkey
Snap the rubber
Snap the whip
Solo flight
Solo marathon
Solo sex
Spank Elvis
Spank the bishop
Spank the frank
Spank the monkey
Spank the salami
Spank the wank
Spanking the rooster
Spending your Christmas bonus
Squeeze the cheese
Squeeze the juice
Squeeze the toothpaste in the middle of the tube
Squeeze your cheese-dog
Squeezing the happy lumberjack
Stewing in your own juices
Stinky pinky
Stir the batter
Stir the yogurt
Strain the main vein
Straining your cabbage
Stretching the truth
Strip-mining with the spaghetti man
Stroke the carrot
Stroke the mole
Stroke the one-eyed burping gecko
Stroke the satin-headed serpent
Stroke your poker
Stroke your Twinkie
Strumming the one-string harp
Take matters into your own hands
Take part in population control
Take the fifth
Take the monster for a one-armed ride
Taking a few practice shots
Taking a load off
Talk quietly to yourself
Tame the shrew
Taunt the one-eyed weasel
Teaching the Cyclops the lambada
Tease the weenie
Tenderize the tube steak
Tending to your own affairs
Test your batteries
That crazy hand jive
Thrash your thing
Thump the pump
Thump your thong
Tickle the ivory
Tickle the pickle
Tickle the taco
Ticklewigglejigglepickle
Tipping off the inspector
Toss the snag
Toss the turkey
Toss yogurt
Tug the slug
Twang the wire
Tweak your Twinkie
Twist your crank
Unleashing the alabaster yak
Unloading the gun
Unpacking the moving van
Varnish the flagpole
Varnishing the banister
Visiting with Papa Smurf
Wake the dead
Walk the dog
Walk the plank
Walking a mile in Mr. Wiggly's shoes
Wallowing in self pity
Wank with the one-eyed wonder weasel
Wash the meat
Wax the Buick
Wax the carrot
Wax the dolphin
Waxin' n' Milkin'
Whack it
Whack the weasel
Whack Willy
Whip the dummy
Whip the one-eyed trouser snake
Whip the one-eyed worm
Whip the rat
Whip the stiff
Whip the wire
Whip up some sour cream
Whip your dripper
Whitewashing with Huck and Tom
Whittle the stick
Wiggling your walrus
Windsurf on Mount Baldy
Wonk your conker
Work things out
Working at your own speed
Working late at the office
Working up a foamy lather
Working without Annette
Wrestle the dragon
Wrestle the eel
Wrestling with the bald champ
Wring out your rope
Wrist aerobics
Yank the crank
Yank the yo-yo
Yank your plank
Can you think of more?
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Are you trying to tell us something Callaway? ;)
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i think you covered them.
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The Top Terms for Female Masturbation
Battery testing
Beat the clit
Bop
Bruise the beaver
Buff the muff
Butter the biscuit
Churn the butter
Club the clam
Clit flicking
Clit pick
Deck the nun
Dial 'o' on the pink telephone
Diddle yourself
Dig your own hole
Double click your mouse
Feed the beaver
Feel the love
Finger bang old Mary Rotten Crotch
Finger fuck
Finger the bottle
Finger the love hole
Finger yourself
Finger your pussy
Flick the bean
Flick the flab
Flip the clit
Flip your flossy
Frigging
Get lost in the deep end
Get your fingers wet
Go knuckle deep
Jill off
Jillin'
Juicin' out
Knitting
.
Lip Curlin'
Make love juice
Mine the hole
Part the pink sea
Pat the bunny
Pat the little man in the canoe
Pedicure the camel toes
Perfume the fingers
Pet the kitty
Play piano
Play with the cat
Play the hairy banjo
Play with your remote control
Play with your yo-yo
Poke the flounder
Polish the pearl
Praise the kooter
Pump your puni
Punch Jerry Garcia in the face
Push the love button
Ride the two-finger cowboy
Rough the muff
Rub off
Rub it
Rub the button
Rub the elf
Rub the love lips
Rub the nub
Rub the pussy
Scratch the snatch
Sing in the shower
Slap the lips
Slippin' the kitten
Snuff the muff
Spank the kitty
Spelunk the cave
Squeeze Mary
Squeeze the bean
Squirt juice on your hand
Stroke the kitty
Stroke the nub
Tease the tuna taco
Tender the meat curtains
Think pink
Tickle clitty
Tickle the twat
Touch type
Touchy touch
Two finger salute
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In Sweden we don't have many expressions for female masturbation (not that I know of at least), but for male masturbation the expression "Have a date with miss Right" ("Right" as in "right hand") is common.
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fiddle the diddle.
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Don't let your dingle dangle dingle in the dirt!!!
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In Sweden we don't have many expressions for female masturbation (not that I know of at least), but for male masturbation the expression "Have a date with miss Right" ("Right" as in "right hand") is common.
We have something similar;
Visiting Mrs Palmer and her five daughters.
my fave for the gross factor;
playing with the purple veined junket pumper.
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Waxing my Mooney! :laugh:
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Dancing the solo tango :toporly:
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Hammer the buttons and wiggle the sticks!
HAMMER THE BUTTONS AND WIGGLE THE STICKS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LrVou1Jo7w#ws)
Playing the trombone :autism:
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Hammer the buttons and wiggle the sticks!
HAMMER THE BUTTONS AND WIGGLE THE STICKS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LrVou1Jo7w#ws)
"The camera keeps jerking. It's making me sick." :lol1:
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Hammer the buttons and wiggle the sticks!
HAMMER THE BUTTONS AND WIGGLE THE STICKS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LrVou1Jo7w#ws)
"The camera keeps jerking. It's making me sick." :lol1:
Just cut out all the lyrics about Resident Evil 6 in that song and it immediately becomes about masturbation :zoinks:
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I'm surprised that no one posted this:
The Vapors - Turning Japanese (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4#)
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I'm surprised that no one posted this:
The Vapors - Turning Japanese (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4#)
:2thumbsup:
Billy Idol - Dancing With Myself (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG1NrQYXjLU#)
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I'm surprised that no one posted this:
The Vapors - Turning Japanese (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4#)
Turning Japanese?
Why, are there tentacles involved? :autism:
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I'm surprised that no one posted this:
The Vapors - Turning Japanese (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4#)
Turning Japanese?
Why, are there tentacles involved? :autism:
Do I have to draw you a picture??
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I'm surprised that no one posted this:
The Vapors - Turning Japanese (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEmJ-VWPDM4#)
Turning Japanese?
Why, are there tentacles involved? :autism:
Do I have to draw you a picture??
Please, dear God. Don't :aff:
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You're supposed to say yes. >:(
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You're supposed to say yes. >:(
Tentacle porn isn't my cup of tea :dunno:
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You're supposed to say yes. >:(
Tentacle porn isn't my cup of tea :dunno:
Who said anything about tentacle porn??
"Turning Japanese" refers to the squint-eyed face you make while jacking off.
Listen to the words of the song. He's talking about looking at pictures of women.
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You're supposed to say yes. >:(
Tentacle porn isn't my cup of tea :dunno:
Who said anything about tentacle porn??
"Turning Japanese" refers to the squint-eyed face you make while jacking off.
Listen to the words of the song. He's talking about looking at pictures of women.
I don't squint when I jack off. :zoinks:
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Making Kleenex babies.
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Getting bitten by the pet one-eyed trouser serpent.
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Dolphin waxing
Smack My Bitch Up (song is about wanking, video not so much)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEvJ3avxc8k
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Doing the Major Kong. Then again, now that I think about it that could also be a bad euphemism for taking a huge shit. :CanofWorms:
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It was in early January I think when a post in a FB group came up about some guy around town wearing undies on his head. Anyway the comments section turned into a live running blog about what he was doing and where he was headed. So on this day I suppose he got kicked off the XPT or something so he was stuck in town badgering random shopkeepers. He stole a shopping trolley for all his belongings and headed down to the river to sit on the grass. And that's when I heard the new to me euphemism for masturbating in regards to what he did next;
"Knocking the top off one"
He fell asleep after that and FB lost interest.
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LMAO, that is beyond hilarious. I wonder if its a nasty euphemism based on the old bottled kind of milk, the inhomogenized kind with cream on top, hence, knocking the top off one. Underpants on his head? I wonder if he was doing that for a bet, or if his belfry was so full of batshit, the bats had to be relocated by wildlife services.
BTW, apologies CQ, I accidentally reported the post, at least I think I did, but the response was 'LMAO', stupid fucking mouse touchpad is to blame for it, odeon, if that did go through as a report, please disregard it.
Cooking a cream pie without a baking tin....with underpants on his head? what in the name of holy fuck......
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I wonder if its a nasty euphemism based on the old bottled kind of milk,
Was thinking of something similar, the practice of scraping the foamy head off draft beer.
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LMAO, that is beyond hilarious. I wonder if its a nasty euphemism based on the old bottled kind of milk, the inhomogenized kind with cream on top, hence, knocking the top off one. Underpants on his head? I wonder if he was doing that for a bet, or if his belfry was so full of batshit, the bats had to be relocated by wildlife services.
BTW, apologies CQ, I accidentally reported the post, at least I think I did, but the response was 'LMAO', stupid fucking mouse touchpad is to blame for it, odeon, if that did go through as a report, please disregard it.
Cooking a cream pie without a baking tin....with underpants on his head? what in the name of holy fuck......
It was an interesting holiday season to say the least. Gotta love small town drama :laugh: