INTENSITY²
Start here => Games => Topic started by: Graelwyn on January 24, 2007, 10:33:14 PM
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Plain Jane. One-second duration, nice resonant reverberation, and pungent odor cloud with a nearly instantaneous 5-foot radius. Your standard, everyday, friendly fart.
Beefy One. Sounds loud and butch, e.g., 'BRAAAMMPPP!' Smells like a cross between a decaying meadow muffin on a hot day and a fresh dog-turd.
Eggy. Smells very much like rotten eggs (or hydrogen sulfide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster (see below).
Bunbuster. 'BRAAAP!' Sounds something like a Beefy One, except much more sudden and much more powerful. May smell either eggy or beefy. Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these babies.
Ripper. Sends seismic ripples to the next town. Rips the seams in the crotch of your pants. This fart genuinely hurts, and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Anyone sitting nearby may experience hearing loss.
Diesel. Sputters to a start, but then keeps putt-putting along spewing out an endless cloud of dirty, noxious fumes.
Surprise! You didn't even know that it was there, but suddenly . . . 'BRRMP!'
Gunshot. Sounds just like a gunshot. Unbelievably loud indoors. Hard to believe that this emanates from between your buttocks. Bullet explodes into billions of virulent odor molecules. Gunshot farts are relatively rare but, like guns, very dangerous.
Squeaky. Puny and unsatisfying. Sounds a bit like a muffled 'Wheeeek,' but smells foul.
Worrier. The kind that seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage, matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at the first possible opportunity.
Poopie Prelude. It feels like it's going to be a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny little squeaker fart plus the head of something massive. You tense your buttocks fast, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.
Present. The type of fart that seems harmless, but then brings a small poop as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet and give thanks you weren't in a business meeting or job interview when it happened. If you were, you're screwed.
Burble. Bubbly! Sometimes messy too.
SBD (Silent But Deadly). Totally inaudible but somehow causes all the occupants in a room to collapse. Smell is undefined because nasal investigators haven't had time to analyze the odor before passing out. (This one is also known as SBL: Silent But Lethal and Toxic Assassin.)
GNL (Gambled 'n' Lost). You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but tragically come to realize that this is much more than a fart... Next big gamble: do you put your underpants in the laundry basket and hope your wife won't notice, do you wash 'em out yourself, or do you throw 'em away?
Hydrated. The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants and gives you a cold wet sticky sensation when you walk. Try to avoid this one if you're wearing white trousers.
Not Now Please! You feel the presence of a mighty fart but are unable to release it due to your situation (first date, new customer, important business meeting, etc.). You clench your buttocks together so hard you nearly have a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends upon a number of factors, but in the end you're probably going to have to face the music (literally). Or you can try the stealth approach (see below).
Who, Me? You let it out as silently as possible and nobody hears it. You discreetly take deep sniffs and smell nothing. You think you got away with it. But 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everybody starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.
Waker-Upper. The first fart of the morning. All that broccoli, beans, and beer you had for dinner last night has decayed and fermented into about 1,000 ml of noxious gas just dying to escape from your rectum. Whether you let go under the covers when you first wake up or hold it until you're taking your early morning pee, releasing that first fart of the day feels oh, so good and sets the tone for the whole day.
Electrical. Sound like they have some juice in them.
Dutch Oven. A fart you make in bed -- any kind at all -- followed up by holding your partner's head under the bedclothes so that he/she can get the full effect of it. Good for moving a stalled divorce process along. Very bad early in your marriage.
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Now why didn't this take off?
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Now why did I think this was a Kit thread. :zoinks:
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Now why didn't this take off?
Did you know Graelwyn on WP or was she already gone before you joined?
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:plus: for bumpage MLA. :LMAO:
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I don't care how old I get, farts will always be funny.
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I don't care how old I get, farts will always be funny.
:agreed: :thumbup:
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every time i see this thread I think it says Fart Tryptic. SO I think it is some 3 part symphonic masterpiece of farts or something. IDK. someone should do that
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Now why didn't this take off?
Did you know Graelwyn on WP or was she already gone before you joined?
Never met her, or even heard of her.
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Now why didn't this take off?
Did you know Graelwyn on WP or was she already gone before you joined?
Never met her, or even heard of her.
I think that she was a moderator on WP at one time after she left Intensity. She had a thing for an underaged boy named Flagg, but that relationship soured when he failed to get on an airplane to come see her and I guess he was too chicken to tell her that he wasn't coming.
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underage ? :/
Please tell me she was like 21 and he was 17 or something like that.
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underage ? :/
Please tell me she was like 21 and he was 17 or something like that.
I think that he was 16 and she was 36 or something like that, but I think she said he was going to be 17 in a few months, or maybe she said that he was 15 and about to turn 16. He has removed his age and his grade in school from the post on WP where he posted it.
He was from Oregon where the AOC is 18, but she was from the UK where it's 16, so she wanted him to come visit her rather than the other way around.
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wow. that is NOT ok.
I am really the person that would agree with age difference, as I am 30 and like 20 year olds.... but that is just NOT ok.
I dont think there is some magical age but more of a relative thing, and after someone is an adult they are an adult. What I mean by that is I really honestly dont see anything wrong with a 16 +19, or 17 + 21 or something, But over 22's need to stay away from under 18s. and after you are 18 do what you want...but don't expect a kid to act like a man.
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I wonder whatever happened to the nutjob Graelwyn. :apondering:
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She was one of the first people whom I got to know over on WP.
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She's back on WP and she seems fine so far (early days).
She was in second life for a time too, bumped into her on a related forum. I didn't tell her who I was though.
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I miss her too.
She was always funny.
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I miss her too.
She was always funny.
She was also an emo whiner who complained about her problems but refused to do anything to fix them.
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And you don't find that funny?
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I miss her too.
She was always funny.
She was also an emo whiner who complained about her problems but refused to do anything to fix them.
,,, but she was funny.
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And you don't find that funny?
Well, yeah.
Sorry, I posted to the previous dipshit before I read your post.
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Sorry, I posted to the previous dipshit before I read your post.
My irony meter just pegged. ::)
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Sorry, I posted to the previous dipshit before I read your post.
My irony meter just pegged. ::)
You should have it calibrated.
:flyingbat:
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There's a hole in your mind.
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There's a hole in your mind.
But, I am not THE ONE!
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Hmmm, my farts are a cross between shotguns, truck farts, and oh my gosh did I just mess my pants (though I never do, I check it's weird) and they stink so bad even my dog hates the smell (heck even I do and that's saying something)...so that would be the SBD aspect of it...really they are quiet a thing to hear, smell and behold :yarly:
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http://planet-iphones.com/cydia/id/com.planet-iphones.keyboardtypingfarttone (http://planet-iphones.com/cydia/id/com.planet-iphones.keyboardtypingfarttone)
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http://planet-iphones.com/cydia/id/com.planet-iphones.keyboardtypingfarttone (http://planet-iphones.com/cydia/id/com.planet-iphones.keyboardtypingfarttone)
Hey, Unknown BABY Bird Handler... (or old pal, if we prefer?>)
Not sure WTF you were trying to link to, but it came up as a phone thing from a gun site,
LOL
Ironically, I order quite a bit of ammunition and re-loading supplies from that site.
Why did you post it?
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Oh, and since this is a fart thread for the most part, I should point out that I have have spent the past two hours "babying" a giant stock pot of beans.
I started with a pound of bacon, like cowboys do, then, once it was rendered to mostly greease, I started setting in some of the freshly washed (unlike cowboys, I suspect) beams.
I now have hard-fried beans in a gallon or so of beer (water comes later, as the whole thing cooks done some) making my morning seem more fun than its its individual parts.
I can not wait to fart!
Well, I will have to WAIT since the beans are just yet becoming a bit chewy.
I will report back.