INTENSITY²
Start here => Games => Topic started by: El on December 02, 2006, 02:43:03 PM
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It's easier to show than tell how to play this game:
He put his pigeon in her skinner box.
He put his neurtoransmitter in her synapse.
He put his spindle in her roll of toiler paper.
He put his MP3 in her ipod.
He put his cartridge in her printer.
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I could go on, but the point is: The worse, the better!
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Parking the beef bus in tuna town...
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Putting the lean cuisine in the mircowave.
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Dereferencing the pointer.
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He parked his car in her garage. :eyebrows:
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Combining your hardware with her wetware.
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Putting his snot in her handkerchief.
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mattress testing
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Doing the horizontal tango
Beach blanket boingo
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This isn't really sex, but it is related to sex, "I just rolled a critical fumble in my pants."
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Putting his hampster in her blender.
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My thanks to George Carlin for putting these guy giving a woman oral sex images in my head! :evillaugh:
"Yodelling in the Gully"
"71, which is 69 with two fingers up her ass!"
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Put his ballpoint into her pocket protector.
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Sending the snake down the burrow
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homerun.
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A really bad song filled with really bad euphemisms for sex:
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet
Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket
Batter dip the cranny ax
In the gut locker
Retrofit the pudding hatch
Ooh la la
With the boink swatter
If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I brazillian wax poetic so hypothetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten
Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston
Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle
Cannonball the fiddle cove
Ooh la la
With the pork steeple
If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I brazillian wax poetic so hypothetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot Unifrom Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where pronto
Edited to add link to video on youtube so you can appreciate just now bad it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYpuhVLBhkc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYpuhVLBhkc)
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bad euphemisms for cunnilingus:
snorkeling for clams
eating out at the Seafood Shanty
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Oral sex euphemisms:
Muff diving
Eating at the Y
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anybody up for fast food?
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I would be more up for it, if I saw ronald fucking the pig tailed girl.
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He was riding her like a Harley! And that piston was pumping!
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Lol, I enjoyed that youtube video, PI. Especially the banana car.
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Putting his HTML command into her brackets.
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hanging out with cunsuelo.
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Putting his standard deviantion into her bellcurve.
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putting his key in her ignition (from an R Kelly song, lol)
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i'd really like to trim her tree this holiday season.
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Strap your hands across my engine,
because baby, we were born to run
--Bruce Springsteen
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Make the beast with two backs.
boink.
butter the muffin.
Crashing the custard truck.
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Oral sex euphemisms:
Muff diving
Eating at the Y
70's t-shirt "MUFF DIVERS CLUB, NO MUFF TOO TUFF, WE DIVE AT FIVE" With a triangular snatch in the center wearing fins, scuba mask and a snorkel
And the never to be forgotten t-shirt with the two geese humping while flying, with very satisfied expressions I might add!
The slogan--"FLY UNITED"
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putting his foot in her sock
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From the Breakfast Club: Did he slip you the hot beef injection?
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Swedish for anal sex (translated): taking her up the pastry kitchen.
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getting a girl off: brûlée-ing her crème
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fudge packer.
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May I push in your stool!
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Marmite mining
Up-hill gardening
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sausage mcmuffin
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Get whopperised (yeah I made that one up).
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Get whopperised (yeah I made that one up).
No, I think Ronald McDonald did:
(http://www.intensitysquared.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=1962.0;attach=1010)
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bumping uglies
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Reading a picture-book to a kindergarten class.
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Reading a picture-book to a kindergarten class.
???
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sticking the pole in the hole.
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Reading a picture-book to a kindergarten class.
???
McJ did an AS thing! :laugh:
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sticking the pole in the hole.
you made that one up also, huh?
but it made me laugh.
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caroet munchung
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sticking the pole in the hole.
you made that one up also, huh?
but it made me laugh.
Yeah, I'm bored and avoiding going back to the stuff I have to do.
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naked twister
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tie one on. oops that is about consuming alcohol.
how about;
tie one up.
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... taking the Loveboat to Tunatown
[attachment deleted by admin]
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... taking "old one-eye" to the optometrist
... wallpaper the closet
... stretch her leather
... burping the worm in the mole hole
... hopping on your good foot
... jumping her bones (the oldest one in the book)
... roughing up the prime suspect
... slap the cat (kitty) ( or club the cat)
... dropping a batch of baby batter
... whitewash the water wand
... beating her with an ugly stick
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Reading a picture-book to a kindergarten class.
???
I don't get it either.
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Reading a picture-book to a kindergarten class.
???
I don't get it either.
Ditto
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Reading a picture-book to a kindergarten class.
???
I don't get it either.
Ditto
It's funny due to it being the worst euphemism that was purposely posted here.
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caroet munchung
this qualifies through indecipherability. which language is it in McJ? ???
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caroet munchung
this qualifies through indecipherability. which language is it in McJ? ???
carpet munching
or
carrot munching
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It was gibberish before, but much funnier. ;D
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Ramming speed, Mr. Sulu!
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Ramming speed, Mr. Sulu!
That's a really bad one!
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Ramming speed, Mr. Sulu!
You win. +1
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"Open hailing frequencies, Lt. Uhura."
"Beam me up, Mr. Scott!"
"Prepare for docking procedure"
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I + you, man!
( You got me thinking, now ... )
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How about ...
"Full spread of Photon Torpedoes, away"
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... violation of the Prime Directive
"Engage"
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[lame Scottish accent] "I'm giving you all she's got, Captain" [/lame Scottish accent]
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It is beautiful when geekiness and sexual innuendo's come together.
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"Hailing frequencies open, Sir!"
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"She'll fly apart, sir." ... "Fly her apart, then!"
(after a good cunt fart) "We've detected a number of gaseous anomalies, sir"
Straight ahead ... full impulse.
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You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
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:laugh:
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"wormhole effect"
"tachyon emissions increasing"
"Time for the Vulcan Mind meld, Our minds are one!"
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... troubling the tribbles
... living long and prospering
... shields up ... red alert!
... re-routing power
... standing down from battle stations
... I'll be on the holodeck
... assimilate this
(Yes, I've seen all the Star Trek, Ozy, but I'll stop, now.)
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Yep, I think thats it from me as well!
Light Sabers anyone? :evillaugh:
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Bad dirty talk:
"Luke, I can feel your force!"
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Yep, I think thats it from me as well!
Light Sabers anyone? :evillaugh:
I love it!! Give me a minute.
"Oh, God! I thought these things smelled bad ... on the outside!"
(... can't imagine why the tahn-tahn scene came to mind, just then ...)
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Yep, I think thats it from me as well!
Light Sabers anyone? :evillaugh:
I love it!! Give me a minute.
"Oh, God! I thought these things smelled bad ... on the outside!"
(... can't imagine why the tahn-tahn scene came to mind, just then ...)
:LMAO:
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This one might have been said already:
THE HORIZONTAL HULLA.
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This one might have been said already:
THE HORIZONTAL HULLA.
I resisted posting horizontal tango ... mamba ... etc.
...but, I like horizontal hoola. :thumbup:
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dirty sanchez. made famous by screech.
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Getting juiced
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... drop your shipment at the sight of an Imperial Cruiser
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... Stay on target! ... Stay on target!
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... making the jump to light speed
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"I can feel the hate swelling within you!"
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muff diving
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Doing a "Chili Dog" (modified titty fuck)
Playing "Hide the sausage"
Making Johny do pushups 'till he pukes.
Shelacking the clam
"Boinking"
Spelunking in the wet cave
Drilling for love goo
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Having the painters in.
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Having the painters in.
I've never heard that to mean sex before, it usually means having your period. ???
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Having the painters in.
I've never heard that to mean sex before, it usually means having your period. ???
earning your red wings.
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When I hear having the painters in, I think of cumming on them. Speaking of which, "Pearl necklace."
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clam bake?
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I learned two new terms for specific positions, dunno if they were mentioned yet (I'm a lazy bitch):
Eiffel tower (a woman being fucked from behind by one man, blwoing another, and they high five over her head)
and
London bridge (two women being fucked doggystyle while the men fucking them high five)
I'd say it riuned Fergie's song to know what it was implying, but there wasn't anything to ruin.
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porking the porpise
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porking the porpise
How about just loving your dolphin?
((You've been to the dolphin sex web site, right?))
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porking the porpise
How about just loving your dolphin?
((You've been to the dolphin sex web site, right?))
No, please enlighten me. ;);D
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porking the porpise
How about just loving your dolphin?
((You've been to the dolphin sex web site, right?))
No, please enlighten me. ;);D
I can't find the web site but I thnk Petermac was inflicting it on people a long while back. MyI know Thagomizer knows where it is for sure but he's not on a lot. DAMN, why didn't I keep that URL???
Basically it's a joke web site promoting dolphin besiality.
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batten down the snatches.
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batten down the snatches.
+
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porking the porpise
How about just loving your dolphin?
((You've been to the dolphin sex web site, right?))
No, please enlighten me. ;);D
I can't find the web site but I thnk Petermac was inflicting it on people a long while back. MyI know Thagomizer knows where it is for sure but he's not on a lot. DAMN, why didn't I keep that URL???
Basically it's a joke web site promoting dolphin besiality.
http://www.sexwork.com/family/dolphins1.html
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Adding tartare sauce to the zipperfish.
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gerbilling
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerbilling
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Surely people as perverted as us can think of more. :laugh:
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My snake is looking for a warm den! :evillaugh:
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Taking the Pink Lincoln fora spin down the Rusty Highway.
Also one of my favorites, courtesy of Tesco Vee of The Meatmen, "I'm gonna drive my Rickshaw down your Ho Chi Minh Trail".
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love you long time.
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love you long time.
That's what they say Thai whores are saying to their costumers. ;D
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hey joe, you want to party?
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Here is one for masturbation:
Performing recuperative therapy on the reproductive organ. :wanker:
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Here is one for masturbation:
Performing recuperative therapy on the reproductive organ. :wanker:
A doctor must have come up with that one! ::) Probably when the nurse he was trying to score with turned him down! :laugh:
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oh, i can go on for days without end, my love. and he's being fickle - his affections are obviously negotiable. you'll have to jump in quick, though, as my offer of cake may well be withdrawn, if i get bored... :P
Cake? OK!
Cake!
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oh, i can go on for days without end, my love. and he's being fickle - his affections are obviously negotiable. you'll have to jump in quick, though, as my offer of cake may well be withdrawn, if i get bored... :P
Cake? OK!
Cake!
I think there was a member whose avatar was dedicated to cake awhile back. Precognition?
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Carrot cake,with a whole carrot baked inside the cake.
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oh, i can go on for days without end, my love. and he's being fickle - his affections are obviously negotiable. you'll have to jump in quick, though, as my offer of cake may well be withdrawn, if i get bored... :P
Cake? OK!
Cake!
for you, darl', i could be patisserie city... :-*
anyway, the best euphemisms i've come across are the tantric and taoist words and phrases. i mean, who could resist saying they wanted "Mist of the Mountains of Wu"?
(if someone ever said that to me, they'd never be able to have sex with me, cos i'd be so hysterical i'd rupture everything).
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i mean, who could resist saying they wanted "Mist of the Mountains of Wu"?
(if someone ever said that to me, they'd never be able to have sex with me, cos i'd be so hysterical i'd rupture everything).
Hmm...might be my last line of defense.
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your last line of defence? boy oh boy, are you in trouble... :evillaugh:
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your last line of defence? boy oh boy, are you in trouble... :evillaugh:
Knowing me, only.
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well, try it now, and see if it works. :-*
i'm all ears... (note: no, don't take that literally - it'd be too tedious for words).
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I'd better save it,
in case I need it.
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bottle job! :laugh:
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bottle job! :laugh:
Beware of the suction.
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er, it's obviously a brit phrase, then...
(means you lost your bottle).
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er, it's obviously a brit phrase, then...
(means you lost your bottle).
I won't even say what image it brought to my mind then. :o
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I want my ba ba. :'(
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er, it's obviously a brit phrase, then...
(means you lost your bottle).
I won't even say what image it brought to my mind then. :o
fuck off, you won't. i need to know, more than i can possibly say. ???
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er, it's obviously a brit phrase, then...
(means you lost your bottle).
I won't even say what image it brought to my mind then. :o
fuck off, you won't. i need to know, more than i can possibly say. ???
Lets just say I find different types of bottle makes interesting pervertables. :eyebrows:
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have to make sure you wash them before recycling, though.
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have to make sure you wash them before recycling, though.
And don't accidentally leave one of your few pairs of knickers in the recycling box before you put it out for collection. :laugh:
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what knickers? ???
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what knickers? ???
I actually have a handful of pairs- shocking I know. Although where they are right now I don't know.
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they're in the recycling box, PI. :laugh:
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they're in the recycling box, PI. :laugh:
At least they left them in the bottom of the box for me :-[
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can't imagine why...
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: