INTENSITY²
Start here => M.O.-Introductions => Topic started by: alexismylovechild on April 13, 2006, 09:14:24 AM
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I'm a woman. Mrs Plank to be correct. And that's right, I can pee standing up. Gorillas squat. Not me. Not your high intune ultra-modernistic feminist geniuses like I. I guess the first time I refused to squat, that was the first time I truly realised that I wanted to be a man. And not just any man. I wanted to have an operation to turn myself into "Prince". I wanted to get his skin grafted to my face and have my vocal removed and replaced with an I-Pods playing his greatest tunes. And purple. Oh how I love purple. Alas, when I went to the doctors they told me my health care wouldn't cover it and that it was scientifically impossible to do so and that Prince would never allow me to scrape off his flesh with a potato peeler. That's the fascist government for you! I say bring back the great men who made this country what it is. Taft. Chester A. Arthur. McKinley, before he was shot. And assorted others. These were the pioneers who travelled over the Mississippi and discovered the Chinese and Gays living in San Fransisco. In fact, Chester A. Arthur wore fishnet stockings beneath his dress. And that's why I carved his face next to the Beatles at Mount Rushmore. Sure John Lennon, John Harrison and Paul McCartney are dead, but Ringo Starr can manage a reunion tour all on his own.
So I say, next time you go to vote at your country's election and you're locked inside the voting cubicle and you realise you're standing in a wet substance, remember just one thing: I pee standing up.
God bless you all! And Buddha says hi too!
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Welcome alexismylovechild to Intensitysquared.
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hello.
my guess is Bland.
and i've just awoken.
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It isn't Bland McJ, this is an Australian - my moneys on Sanityisoverrated, or maybe Majestic. :P
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oh good.
they will provide much more long term enjoyment than Bland would.
i'll be happy with either.
i kinda suck with that whole ip address thingymabob.
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Alex is a big cheese. You are on dial-up. If you are in any way related to alex, he is ashamed of you and trying to hide your existence.
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Yes, but do you remember to put the lid back down?
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Defintitely NOT bland. Not a woman. Could be Sanityisoverrated, he is a funny guy and one of the few that make me laugh. could be majestic, don't know his posting style as well. they're the only aussies with a sense of humour that I know of from WP. Welcome funny aussie guy.
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Gallileo Ace?
he is witty, sometimes.
we'll know if we start a pictures thread, he cannot resist the urge.
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dunno....I don't think it's Sanity now because I've just looked at all the latest posts by this person and I don't think it's his style. That leaves Majestic or uh yeah I believe GA has demonstrated wit somewhere sometime, I just never encountered it much.
Here's today's lot by our Mystery poster.
1 Politics, Mature and taboo / Dunc's Sin Bin- (members exclusive) / Re: mcjaggers guilty pleasure on: Today at 01:22:24
That's one hell of a nice red couch. Furniture is my guilty pleasure too. Sometimes when I'm alone... oh, I can't believe I'm going to say this... sometimes when I'm alone I like to... move my bookshelf...
I'm a naughty girl.
2 Start here / What's your crime-Basic discussion / Re: Hand over the site to Alex Plank on: Today at 01:18:30
Hmm... well he's always looking for new webpages to maintain a fascist stranglehold over... I'll bring it up at our Heroin Addicts Anonymous meeting tomorrow night.
3 Start here / M.O.-Introductions / I Pee Standing Up on: Today at 01:14:24
I'm a woman. Mrs Plank to be correct. And that's right, I can pee standing up. Gorillas squat. Not me. Not your high intune ultra-modernistic feminist geniuses like I. I guess the first time I refused to squat, that was the first time I truly realised that I wanted to be a man. And not just any man. I wanted to have an operation to turn myself into "Prince". I wanted to get his skin grafted to my face and have my vocal removed and replaced with an I-Pods playing his greatest tunes. And purple. Oh how I love purple. Alas, when I went to the doctors they told me my health care wouldn't cover it and that it was scientifically impossible to do so and that Prince would never allow me to scrape off his flesh with a potato peeler. That's the fascist government for you! I say bring back the great men who made this country what it is. Taft. Chester A. Arthur. McKinley, before he was shot. And assorted others. These were the pioneers who travelled over the Mississippi and discovered the Chinese and Gays living in San Fransisco. In fact, Chester A. Arthur wore fishnet stockings beneath his dress. And that's why I carved his face next to the Beatles at Mount Rushmore. Sure John Lennon, John Harrison and Paul McCartney are dead, but Ringo Starr can manage a reunion tour all on his own.
So I say, next time you go to vote at your country's election and you're locked inside the voting cubicle and you realise you're standing in a wet substance, remember just one thing: I pee standing up.
God bless you all! And Buddha says hi too!
4 Continue Here: members of the community / Bitch about it / Re: Alex is full of himself on: Today at 01:02:29
Please leave my alex alone. Now, he may not be the brightest boy, or the most good looking, or the most talented, or the most truthful, but what he lacks in talent he certainly makes up for in effort.
By the way, Alex wanted me to announce to you that if there are any young attractive females on this webpage, then please email me your photos (standard 5' by 7' headshot is fine) so I can approve you for the first date with him. Oh and please make your cheques out to "Cash" as we're having some minor problems with the IRS at the moment and we don't want them to find out about our little operation.
5 Continue Here: members of the community / Bug Reports / Re: Shout at duncvis on: Today at 00:54:14
I think this forum's name's misleading. "Intensity". It's not intense. Please change it to "Mildly Engaging And Somewhat Interesting". I think this will increase your market share.
6 Start here / Rookie Refuge / Re: Help! It's scary here! on: Today at 00:51:57
I hate noobs. Kill em all and let God sort'em out!
7 Start here / Rookie Refuge / What I Stand For on: Today at 00:50:40
Bald men should wear bandanas like chemotherapy patients do. That way, no one would ever rip them off. How many cancer patients do you know who have been bludgeoned to death with a giant swordfish made out paper mache? None. That's how many.
Secondly, does anyone know when crucifixitions went out of style? I mean, did the fashion experts in the Roman Empire just go one day, "You know... the whole crucifix style is so 39 A.D. This season we want to see more castratrations, bring on the eunuchs!"
And does anyone else think that some musicians fake being blind just to get sympathy? I swear I saw Ray Charles driving a Ferrari down the street once. He only hit one mailman and a french poodle.
How come the olympic games aren't nude any more? Surely we can start with the female beach volleyballers.
Thanks you for your thirty second attention span. Please go back to your regular programming.
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There's a pattern here... I smell SOCK PUPPETRY ;D
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I only know Maj thru reputation really, I never posted much in the same threads as him. I couldn't identify his writing style. Maybe some other Maj fanciers know the style.
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Alex is a big cheese. You are on dial-up. If you are in any way related to alex, he is ashamed of you and trying to hide your existence.
Alex isn't ashamed of me. He is ashamed of his father, Alex Senior. He marries old widows to steal their pensions. He was on A Current Affair once. You could see our house in one of the shots. Alex Senior likes the occassional drop of alcohol but most of the time he prefers heroin. He deals it to blind school children and tells them it's whiz fizz sugar candy. Oh and he only has one leg. We don't see much of each other any more. Every now and then we have casual sex with other invited couples, but that's just a 'no-strings-attached' thing. The blood test for DNA was positive, he definitely is his dad. I once thought I conceived him during a torrid affair with Richard Nixon, but no, apparently he was impotent. I didn't think I could conceive after starring in a Hollywood film called 'Gangbangers Prefer Blondes' but it turns out I only ruptured my spleen. I now have no immune system and could die if I caught the common cold. Thankfully I drink half a cup of placenta every morning to stay young and beautiful.
I must now return to the sacrificial chamber...
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I wish I could pee standing up :(
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I wish I could pee standing up :(
http://myvag.net/pee/standing/
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:orly: :orly:
I thought you needed a FUD for that, something which probably would be lethal in my drunk hands:
(http://www.intrepidadventure.co.nz/media/articles/5/shewee/main.jpg)
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:orly: :orly:
I thought you needed a FUD for that, something which probably would be lethal in my drunk hands:
(http://www.intrepidadventure.co.nz/media/articles/5/shewee/main.jpg)
:zombiefuck:
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My greatest ambition in life is to learn to pee up a tree :thumbup:
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We can do that with ease. 8)
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:orly: :orly:
I thought you needed a FUD for that, something which probably would be lethal in my drunk hands:
(http://www.intrepidadventure.co.nz/media/articles/5/shewee/main.jpg)
The things you can find on this site.
Is this the next 'woman's best travelling companion'?
They should sell them at camping stores, or in the party section of the supermarket. (I've always envied that men could just quickly do one wherever they want!)
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My greatest ambition in life is to learn to pee up a tree :thumbup:
Just turn the tree upside down and there should be no problem.
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I saw one of them woman peeing things in Boots the other day (no i wans't buying anything related lol)
they were in the section with the Depends nappies (no i wasn't buying those either lol)
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Ive honestly never tried to pee standing up. I imagine it would not work. Im good at squatting, though. :) The day I graduated from high school, I got really really drunk and dont remember much. My friend told me I pee in the middle of the street. It was like midnight, at least.
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Suprised the OP didn't claim to be I.P. Freely
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Suprised the OP didn't claim to be I.P. Freely
yes, the famous author
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I peed standing up once when I was eight years old. It was in the middle of the night and by accident. I was half asleep. I walked to the toilet, put my panties down to my ankles and peed. It all made it in the toilet, no mess. I then turned to get toilet paper. I saw the bathtub instead of the toilet roll and that was when I realized I was standing up the whole time. I wiped myself and put my underwear back on and went back to bed.
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I pee in the shower.
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I pee in the shower.
I also pee in the shower. I rinse the pee off with hot water to sterilize it.
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Cures athletes foot, man.
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I pee in the shower.
I also pee in the shower. I rinse the pee off with hot water to sterilize it.
Pee is already sterile when it leaves the body (unless you have an infection of some kind).
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I pee in the shower.
I also pee in the shower. I rinse the pee off with hot water to sterilize it.
Pee is already sterile when it leaves the body (unless you have an infection of some kind).
I forgot that. But it does smell horrible. :(
I have a friend who drank her ex bf's pee. She said it tasted like ramen noodle soup.
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I pee in the shower.
I also pee in the shower. I rinse the pee off with hot water to sterilize it.
Pee is already sterile when it leaves the body (unless you have an infection of some kind).
I forgot that. But it does smell horrible. :(
I have a friend who drank her ex bf's pee. She said it tasted like ramen noodle soup.
Eris just barely missed this conversation :(
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I pee in the shower.
I also pee in the shower. I rinse the pee off with hot water to sterilize it.
Pee is already sterile when it leaves the body (unless you have an infection of some kind).
I forgot that. But it does smell horrible. :(
I have a friend who drank her ex bf's pee. She said it tasted like ramen noodle soup.
Gross. But you are right, it does smell horrible. Like it isn't sterile.