INTENSITY²
Start here => Games => Topic started by: bodie on February 04, 2011, 08:30:24 AM
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1. do not talk about your ex too much
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2. Do not be fashionably late.
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3. do not eat a vindaloo curry the night before
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4. don't masturbate to them while they're still there
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4. don't masturbate to them while they're still there
5. Unless he/she likes that sort of thing.
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6 Ask to barrow money
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7. Lend money.
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8. wear something you had to squeeze into to start with
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9. bring your pets with you
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10. bring your best mate
10b and don't bring your best mate and masturbate with them :laugh:
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11. dont arrive in an entoxicated hallucinogenous daze, believing to be jesus-the-savior
(i was the "safety friend" but he sortof sealed his own disaster himself)
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12. Forget about it and not show up if you're the guy or look confused when the guy shows up if you're the female.
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13. Talk about marriage and babies.
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14. don't chat up someone else
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15. Ask them to pull your finger.
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16. Talk on the cell phone or text while with a date.
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17 Ask if she spits or swallows
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18. Ask if he spits or swallows.
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19. Spit or swallow :lol:
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20. Act like Chris Chan, srsly: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris_chan (http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Chris_chan)
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Talk about how much you want kids. That has driven away more chicks than I can remember.
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22. Fall into a long winded diatribe of how Shemp was better than Curly.
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Don't ask for sex... in the first sentence out of your mouth.
Leave it 'till at least the 3rd or 4th thing you say.
Try not to be too pushy about it.
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19. Spit or swallow :lol:
What's wrong with that?? ???
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24. Ask if they've ever considered consmetic surgery.
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25 show her your extensive porn collection
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26 Don't tell her where your last dates are buried
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27. Don't tell them you have been in the mental hospital.
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28. Don't tell them you're diagnosed with any sort of personality disorder.
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29. Don't ask them to pull your finger :stinker:
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30. Drink too much red wine and projectile vomit on the walls down the hallway as you run to the bathroom.
(a chick actually did this to a guy I knew, when he took her to an extremely expensive restaurant to impress her on a first date - it was also their last date)
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31. Wear your furry costume
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32. pretend to be 'posh'
unless of course you are
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Show up. Better chance if you don't bother.
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34. Talk about your time in prison
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35. talk about your rehab
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Talk about how large your member is. :dunno:
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37. talk about how small your member is
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Sprinkle dandruff flakes into your food.
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Show up in a hat and sunglasses and don't take them off due to your extreme light sensitivity. ::)
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37. talk about how small your member is
You have a small "member"?? :zombiefuck:
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Show up in a booty hunter trucker's hat, tattered bluejeans, with a mouth full of chaw.
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Wait 9 months to ask her out on the second date.
Ask if your mother can come along.
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37. talk about how small your member is
You have a small "member"?? :zombiefuck:
no im a female
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Ask if you should bring the condoms or are they gonna bring 'em.
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37. talk about how small your member is
You have a small "member"?? :zombiefuck:
no im a female
Can you post proof of some kind??
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Ask if you should bring the condoms or are they gonna bring 'em.
What'choo talking bout?? that's a dang good idear!!
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Talk about your alien abduction experiences and the anal probing
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Tell her, in confidence, that *they* are watching.
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Aren't they? ??? :tinfoil: :tantrum:
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If you're lucky, that's what she'll say in return. :laugh:
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Fart. Constantly.
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Watching porno while your partner aren't watching. Some would end up thinking they aren't worth it.
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47. Set up a tripod and camera, because you want to post the footage on Youtube.
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48. Show them the vids of your other dates you already posted on Youtube
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Sit down next to her with a basketful of candy in your lap that has a hole in the bottom that your junk is sticking through. "Surprise, honey!"
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49. fall in love
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50/51. Tell about your collection of unwashed socks. And how you keep them in perfect smelly condition.
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Talk about your massive toy collection.
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Take her into your basement and show her your massive toy collection.
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53. Tie her up, because she doesn't want to see your massive toy collection.
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Putting your girlfriend in a room full of sex dolls. :M
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You probably shouldn't announce that it's your first date ever. :zoinks:
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56. Take him/her to Burger King
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57. Or McDonald's.
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58. Get your mother to pick out what will wear
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59. Allude to the fact you've ever had your heart broken.
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60. admit your heart is broken still.
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1. do not talk about your ex too much
im curious,
there has to be a difference bwteen trashing an ex, in favor of the date, as opposed to stupidly reminiscing about an ex?
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1. do not talk about your ex too much
im curious,
there has to be a difference bwteen trashing an ex, in favor of the date, as opposed to stupidly reminiscing about an ex?
Either one shows that you still care.
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1. do not talk about your ex too much
im curious,
there has to be a difference bwteen trashing an ex, in favor of the date, as opposed to stupidly reminiscing about an ex?
Either one shows that you still care.
in my case i was genuinely appreciative for the "higher standards", and would mention exes for comparison, as a compliment
i wouldnt blabber on about it, just a mention
i remember those times i did, every time i did remember these "dating rules" always repeating never to talk about exes, wondering if what i just did counted as "talking about" them :I
(it wasnt really "first dates" tho)
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^When people talk too harshly behind someone's back, can't help but wonder what is said/will be said about me.
61. Have mom drive.
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1. do not talk about your ex too much
im curious,
there has to be a difference bwteen trashing an ex, in favor of the date, as opposed to stupidly reminiscing about an ex?
Either one shows that you still care.
in my case i was genuinely appreciative for the "higher standards", and would mention exes for comparison, as a compliment
i wouldnt blabber on about it, just a mention
i remember those times i did, every time i did remember these "dating rules" always repeating never to talk about exes, wondering if what i just did counted as "talking about" them :I
(it wasnt really "first dates" tho)
i meant reminiscing about an ex, but yeah if you slag em off it looks like you still care and maybe feel bitter or regret...best to steer clear of ex's
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62. never admit you are in the 'rolf harris appreciation society'
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62. never admit you are in the 'rolf harris appreciation society'
Why you hatin' on Rolf Harris?? :P
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Ask if you can borrow her clothes.
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Show up wearing the same outfit, especially if you are of the opposite sex.
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Blow yourself up, unless of course Allah wills it
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Pay before services are rendered! :zoinks:
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62. never admit you are in the 'rolf harris appreciation society'
Why you hatin' on Rolf Harris?? :P
oh i love rolf harris, every home should have one :2thumbsup:
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Show up acting completely obsessed :thumbdn:
yeah not a good idea to tell the girl you think about her constantly and have been waiting like all week long to meet
thats really more of a 3d date thing, and only say it to someone that seems like they will say it back
This happened to me recently. freaked me the fuck out. I dunno what I did, but he was like obsessed.
you should keep such things to yourself or she will think you are a stalker.
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Ask if you can borrow her clothes.
See I would like that. I like to see a nice sissy boy in a thong.
Ok that may be why I get the obsessed ones :screwy:
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Don't do this -----> :jaded: or this -----> :yawn: or this -----> :zzz:
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Don't bring a book along. :book:
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Don't try to drink your date under the table. :fiveshots:
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Don't zone out with your favorite music. :headphones:
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Don't forget the rope. :thumbup:
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Don't lecture your date. :soapbox:
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Show up in a booty hunter trucker's hat, tattered bluejeans, with a mouth full of chaw.
:rofl: Early Cuyler.
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Show them your shotgun. :zoinks:
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Dig through her purse. :zoinks:
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Try to introduce her to the church of Nicholas Cage.
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Show them your shotgun. :zoinks:
If he shows you his shotgun in return, you know you have a keeper. :zoinks:
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Tell her about the last time you cried. Especially if it was yesterday.
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Cry. :zoinks:
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Besottedly rattle on and on about your celebrity crushes. :blah:
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Ask them if they like [fill in the blank] TV show, which is THE BEST SHOW EVER.
If they say no, insist they sit with you and watch a marathon of it, or just listen to you talk about it!
Because when they hear YOU talk about it, they'll totally convert to the fandom! :tv: :fp:
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And if they say yes, then make it clear from that point on that you're going home to your place to watch it.
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Message them on FB while they're sitting at the same table.
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Ask them if they like [fill in the blank] TV show, which is THE BEST SHOW EVER.
If they say no, insist they sit with you and watch a marathon of it, or just listen to you talk about it!
Because when they hear YOU talk about it, they'll totally convert to the fandom! :tv: :fp:
Perhaps he'll call you back. :cbc:
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Ask them if they like [fill in the blank] TV show, which is THE BEST SHOW EVER.
If they say no, insist they sit with you and watch a marathon of it, or just listen to you talk about it!
Because when they hear YOU talk about it, they'll totally convert to the fandom! :tv: :fp:
Perhaps he'll call you back. :cbc:
I am speaking purely hypothetically. :M :angel:
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Inadvertently mention your husband/wife :P
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Inadvertently mention your husband/wife :P
Yeah, that could make things a tad awkward. :P
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Ask them if they like [fill in the blank] TV show, which is THE BEST SHOW EVER.
If they say no, insist they sit with you and watch a marathon of it, or just listen to you talk about it!
Because when they hear YOU talk about it, they'll totally convert to the fandom! :tv: :fp:
Perhaps he'll call you back. :cbc:
I am speaking purely hypothetically. :M :angel:
Of course. :orly:
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Ask the topical question "What would you do if it was your last day on earth?"
When they answer it and ask you what you'd do answer it with: "I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse"
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Forget to take off your wedding ring.
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"Suck me, beautiful."
American Pie (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zStjjc7SBto#ws)
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Tell them about the celebrities you'd like to date.
In my case mainly Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Watson, Jennifer Lawrence, Emilia Clarke, Jennifer Lawrence and Jennifer Lawrence. :orly:
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Tell them about the celebrities you'd like to date.
In my case mainly Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Watson, Jennifer Lawrence, Emilia Clarke, Jennifer Lawrence and Jennifer Lawrence. :orly:
Not Hodor? :o
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Ask if they dig shit out of their ass when constipated :poop:
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Ask if they dig shit out of their ass when constipated :poop:
You've posted this in the wrong thread. :thumbup: This is "things NOT to do on a first date". :zoinks:
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Ask if they dig shit out of their ass when constipated :poop:
You've posted this in the wrong thread. :thumbup: This is "things NOT to do on a first date". :zoinks:
[/quote
Do you have personal experiences with second dates?
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Tell them about the celebrities you'd like to date.
In my case mainly Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Watson, Jennifer Lawrence, Emilia Clarke, Jennifer Lawrence and Jennifer Lawrence. :orly:
Not Hodor? :o
I am not worthy of Hodor :'(
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Ask if they dig shit out of their ass when constipated :poop:
You've posted this in the wrong thread. :thumbup: This is "things NOT to do on a first date". :zoinks:
Do you have personal experiences with second dates?
I don't want to brag. :zoinks:
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Tell them about the celebrities you'd like to date.
In my case mainly Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Watson, Jennifer Lawrence, Emilia Clarke, Jennifer Lawrence and Jennifer Lawrence. :orly:
You know of four different celebs named Jennifer Lawrence? :tard:
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Ask if they dig shit out of their ass when constipated :poop:
+
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Show them the "white eared elephant" trick
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Ask them if they're a Weeble
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Tell them you're a weeble. :lol1:
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Be a Weeble. :cbc: :orly:
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Be a Weeble. :cbc: :orly:
What's wrong with Weebles you racist? :autism:
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I think that kind of information is best revealed during the second date.
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If they ask you what you do for a living, tell them you're a professional dominatrix
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If they ask you what you do for a living, tell them you're a professional dominatrix
Why not? :eyebrows: :bonban:
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Tell them you are autistic. :autism:
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Bring your mum.
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Be a Weeble. :cbc: :orly:
What's wrong with Weebles you racist? :autism:
They've been known to troll the internet. :M Also, their beds only fit one person:
(http://acimg.auctivacommerce.com/imgdata/0/1/9/3/9/7/webimg/3857291.jpg)
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Tell them you work for MI6
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Tell them you work for MI6
Carry a Walther PPK on your date. :orly:
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Be a Weeble. :cbc: :orly:
What's wrong with Weebles you racist? :autism:
They've been known to troll the internet. :M Also, their beds only fit one person:
(http://acimg.auctivacommerce.com/imgdata/0/1/9/3/9/7/webimg/3857291.jpg)
Why does a weeble bed suit a prone weeble? Seems odd.
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Obsessively wash your hands with disinfectant throughout the date.
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Make a toast...TO THE FUHRER!!!
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Be a Weeble. :cbc: :orly:
What's wrong with Weebles you racist? :autism:
They've been known to troll the internet. :M Also, their beds only fit one person:
(http://acimg.auctivacommerce.com/imgdata/0/1/9/3/9/7/webimg/3857291.jpg)
Why does a weeble bed suit a prone weeble? Seems odd.
I was wondering about that, too. :scratchhead: Perhaps CBC can explain it when she logs in next. :apondering:
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Spend the date talking about how meeting Ron L Hubbard changed your life.
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Spend the date talking about how meeting Ron L Hubbard changed your life.
Horrible. That would be a date you never can forget. Because you will have been added to the mail list of Hubbard followers, and they never ever let go. Thirty years later, you'd still get mail from them.
It's a way to troll someone for life, giving their address to Scientology.
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Avoid Perseverating on your favorite sports team at all costs!
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Speak fondly of your time in rehab.
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Be a Weeble. :cbc: :orly:
What's wrong with Weebles you racist? :autism:
They've been known to troll the internet. :M Also, their beds only fit one person:
(http://acimg.auctivacommerce.com/imgdata/0/1/9/3/9/7/webimg/3857291.jpg)
Why does a weeble bed suit a prone weeble? Seems odd.
I was wondering about that, too. :scratchhead: Perhaps CBC can explain it when she logs in next. :apondering:
Maybe the bed hangs from the wall like a borg docking station. :laugh:
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Spend the date talking about how meeting Ron L Hubbard changed your life.
Horrible. That would be a date you never can forget. Because you will have been added to the mail list of Hubbard followers, and they never ever let go. Thirty years later, you'd still get mail from them.
It's a way to troll someone for life, giving their address to Scientology.
I took their "free personality test" at their office on State Street in Santa Barbara over 20 years ago. The results cam back looking just like their sample results, which were nothing like me at all. Of course I didn't tell them, nor did they suspect, that I was high as a kite on hallucinogenic mushrooms at the time. :green: :mushie:
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Spend the date talking about how meeting Ron L Hubbard changed your life.
Horrible. That would be a date you never can forget. Because you will have been added to the mail list of Hubbard followers, and they never ever let go. Thirty years later, you'd still get mail from them.
It's a way to troll someone for life, giving their address to Scientology.
I took their "free personality test" at their office on State Street in Santa Barbara over 20 years ago. The results cam back looking just like their sample results, which were nothing like me at all. Of course I didn't tell them, nor did they suspect, that I was high as a kite on hallucinogenic mushrooms at the time. :green: :mushie:
Did you fill in your address? Chance is that on that address there still comes mail for you. Can go on for more than twenty years.
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Horrible. That would be a date you never can forget. Because you will have been added to the mail list of Hubbard followers, and they never ever let go. Thirty years later, you'd still get mail from them.
It's a way to troll someone for life, giving their address to Scientology.
I took their "free personality test" at their office on State Street in Santa Barbara over 20 years ago. The results cam back looking just like their sample results, which were nothing like me at all. Of course I didn't tell them, nor did they suspect, that I was high as a kite on hallucinogenic mushrooms at the time. :green: :mushie:
Did you fill in your address? Chance is that on that address there still comes mail for you. Can go on for more than twenty years.
I don't think I did. I don't recall ever receiving mail from them.
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Horrible. That would be a date you never can forget. Because you will have been added to the mail list of Hubbard followers, and they never ever let go. Thirty years later, you'd still get mail from them.
It's a way to troll someone for life, giving their address to Scientology.
I took their "free personality test" at their office on State Street in Santa Barbara over 20 years ago. The results cam back looking just like their sample results, which were nothing like me at all. Of course I didn't tell them, nor did they suspect, that I was high as a kite on hallucinogenic mushrooms at the time. :green: :mushie:
Did you fill in your address? Chance is that on that address there still comes mail for you. Can go on for more than twenty years.
I don't think I did. I don't recall ever receiving mail from them.
You left no legacy for people living there later then. Pity, they would so have loved you for it. :zoinks:
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Ask your date to pray with you.
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Ask your date to pray with you.
This happens in America. :orly:
Be a Weeble. :cbc: :orly:
What's wrong with Weebles you racist? :autism:
They've been known to troll the internet. :M Also, their beds only fit one person:
(http://acimg.auctivacommerce.com/imgdata/0/1/9/3/9/7/webimg/3857291.jpg)
Why does a weeble bed suit a prone weeble? Seems odd.
I was wondering about that, too. :scratchhead: Perhaps CBC can explain it when she logs in next. :apondering:
Maybe the bed hangs from the wall like a borg docking station. :laugh:
:plus:
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Invite them to see your collection of former dates' ears.
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Tell them about your plans for world domination
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When they say they were born in '90, ask AD or BC.
(yes, I've done this)
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When she replies, you say "you look older than that".
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Tell them that your last girlfriend was created from dead body parts.
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Tell them about your plans for world domination
No, that would totally be a turn-on.
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Show them your silencer. :coolguy:
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Play them your "Ave Satani" ringtone. :flame:
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Try to converse with her/him via smartphone, y'know, so you don't have to get your face away from it and talk to them physically.
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Fart in his or her general direction.
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Throw mentos in their diet coke.
(http://images.mentalfloss.com/sites/default/files/styles/article_640x430/public/diet_coke_and_mentos.jpg)
Unless of course, it's turning out to be a really bad date. >:D
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Throw mentos in their diet coke.
*adds mentos to mental shopping list*