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Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: Parts on November 11, 2010, 05:32:48 PM

Title: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Parts on November 11, 2010, 05:32:48 PM
Quote
chicagotribune.com
Gurnee cop allegedly attacked with sex toy
Woman facing assault charge

By Megan Craig, Tribune reporter

8:42 PM CST, November 10, 2010
Advertisement

A Gurnee woman accused of attacking a police officer with a sex toy has been charged with aggravated assault.

Carolee Bildsten, 56, of the 5300 block of David Court, allegedly assaulted the officer Tuesday evening with what Gurnee police Cmdr. Jay Patrick called "a rigid feminine pleasure device."

Police became involved when Bildsten allegedly ran out on a bill at Joe's Crab Shack on Northridge Drive in Gurnee. Bildsten allegedly has left the restaurant without paying in the past, according to an incident report.

A full police report on the incident wasn't yet available, but it allegedly occurred when an officer went to Bildsten's residence to investigate the unpaid tab.

Bildsten was taken into custody Wednesday afternoon. She could not be reached for comment.

In addition to the aggravated assault charge, she was charged with theft of labor or services.


"a rigid feminine pleasure device."   :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: The_Chosen_One on November 11, 2010, 06:52:21 PM
I thought it said 'woman asaults cop with a Twistie'.

Gees, the things they do with snack foods.
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Icequeen on November 11, 2010, 08:43:45 PM
I wonder exactly "how" she assualted him with it.  :laugh:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Callaway on November 11, 2010, 08:51:08 PM
I wonder exactly "how" she assualted him with it.  :laugh:

:anal: ?
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: "couldbecousin" on November 11, 2010, 08:55:39 PM
When I read the title of this thread, I thought it meant she grabbed his... and twisted... ow...   :o
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Adam on November 11, 2010, 08:59:04 PM
Ew she's 56

56 year old women shouldn't have sex toys  :aff:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: "couldbecousin" on November 11, 2010, 09:02:48 PM
Ew she's 56

56 year old women shouldn't have sex toys  :aff:

More to the point, they belong at home, locked in the nightstand, and not out at Joe's Crab Shack!   :rofl:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Adam on November 11, 2010, 09:06:27 PM
 :lol: :agreed:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: The_Chosen_One on November 11, 2010, 09:09:08 PM
:lol: :agreed:

More to the point, how did Joe get a case of the crabs in the first place?
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: "couldbecousin" on November 11, 2010, 09:10:14 PM
:lol: :agreed:

More to the point, how did Joe get a case of the crabs in the first place?


Probably from HER! But she's been taken into custody and the citizens are now safe!  :police:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: The_Chosen_One on November 11, 2010, 09:15:27 PM
:lol: :agreed:

More to the point, how did Joe get a case of the crabs in the first place?


Probably from HER! But she's been taken into custody and the citizens are now safe!  :police:

Maybe that was the actual offence. So why wasn't Joe taken into custody?  Afterall, he was giving the crabs to everyone else.
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: "couldbecousin" on November 11, 2010, 09:16:47 PM
:lol: :agreed:

More to the point, how did Joe get a case of the crabs in the first place?


Probably from HER! But she's been taken into custody and the citizens are now safe!  :police:

Maybe that was the actual offence. So why wasn't Joe taken into custody?  :dunno:

Joe was escorted to the nearest pharmacy and instructed to buy a medicated shampoo for treatment of said parasites!  :police:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: The_Chosen_One on November 11, 2010, 09:18:12 PM
:lol: :agreed:

More to the point, how did Joe get a case of the crabs in the first place?


Probably from HER! But she's been taken into custody and the citizens are now safe!  :police:

Maybe that was the actual offence. So why wasn't Joe taken into custody?  :dunno:

Joe was escorted to the nearest pharmacy and instructed to buy a medicated shampoo for treatment of said parasites!  :police:

Ah, and this was posted after my amendment. Not the amendment to the Constitution, but an amendment just the same.
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Queen Victoria on November 11, 2010, 09:19:44 PM
Ew she's 56

56 year old women shouldn't have sex toys  :aff:

Whew.  Since I'm 61, I guess it's okay for me to have one.  His name is Prince Albert and he is not in the can.
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Squidusa on November 11, 2010, 09:34:38 PM
Ew she's 56

56 year old women shouldn't have sex toys  :aff:

Whew.  Since I'm 61, I guess it's okay for me to have one.  His name is Prince Albert and he is not in the can.

 :o

We'll just leave you two alone then your majesty....

*Squid and CBC walk out of the room hurriedly*
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Adam on November 11, 2010, 09:35:10 PM
Eh what about me? Why'd you leave me here? :aff:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: "couldbecousin" on November 11, 2010, 09:36:52 PM
Ew she's 56

56 year old women shouldn't have sex toys  :aff:

Whew.  Since I'm 61, I guess it's okay for me to have one.  His name is Prince Albert and he is not in the can.

 :o

We'll just leave you two alone then your majesty....

*Squid and CBC walk out of the room hurriedly*


 :agreed:   Let's leave these two lovebirds alone!
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Queen Victoria on November 11, 2010, 10:02:52 PM
You guys have me laughing so hard I'm crying. 
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: "couldbecousin" on November 11, 2010, 10:03:46 PM
Eh what about me? Why'd you leave me here? :aff:

*wobbles back and drags Soph to safety*  :laugh:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: The_Chosen_One on November 11, 2010, 10:50:34 PM
Oh, that leaves me as 'Guardian of the Stool'.

Shitty job, but someone has to do it.  :indeed:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Squidusa on November 15, 2010, 08:18:46 PM
Ew she's 56

56 year old women shouldn't have sex toys  :aff:

Whew.  Since I'm 61, I guess it's okay for me to have one.  His name is Prince Albert and he is not in the can.

 :o

We'll just leave you two alone then your majesty....

*Squid and CBC walk out of the room hurriedly*


 :agreed:   Let's leave these two lovebirds alone!

 :indeed:
Eh what about me? Why'd you leave me here? :aff:

We thought it'd be educational  :zoinks:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Queen Victoria on November 15, 2010, 10:30:21 PM
Every time I read the title I think she assaulted the cop with a twist doughnut.
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: "couldbecousin" on November 16, 2010, 06:22:31 AM
Every time I read the title I think she assaulted the cop with a twist doughnut.

Which would be a tragic waste of a good snack!  :thumbdn:
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: Squidusa on November 16, 2010, 07:41:25 AM
Every time I read the title I think she assaulted the cop with a twist doughnut.

Which would be a tragic waste of a good snack!  :thumbdn:

Unless of course it looked utterly hilarious.
Title: Re: Woman assualts cop with a twist
Post by: "couldbecousin" on November 16, 2010, 07:43:21 AM
Every time I read the title I think she assaulted the cop with a twist doughnut.

Which would be a tragic waste of a good snack!  :thumbdn:

Unless of course it looked utterly hilarious.

And I suppose if it ended up on youtube, the doughnut's death might not have been entirely in vain.  :laugh: