INTENSITY²
Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: Adam on November 07, 2010, 07:47:13 PM
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How much privacy should kids/teenagers have?
diary is just an example. what about chat logs etc
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Would have to say no, but don't think it's out of line if parents have concerns over things like drugs or suicide. Also, as a side note, happen to believe when people put thoughts into text they want them to be read on some level.
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Shocker of all shocks. Yes, if given the opportunity I would read the Princess Royal's diary if she had one. Reason: I'm legally responsible for her actions until she's an adult. If there is a problem then I might be able to take steps to solve it or take whatever steps seem appropriate.
Would I let her know I'd read it? I'd take precautions to keep her from knowing (e.g. solving a problem behind her back, waiting a time before bringing up a subject,etc.)
I'm sneaky, and I'm old school.
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I think that's wrong. Do you not think a 14 year old (for example) has the right to some privacy? What if she has thoughts she wants to put down but doesn't want you to know?
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No, unless I was worried about him doing serious harm to himself or others. In that case, I'd much rather risk losing his trust than to risk losing him.
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I think that's wrong. Do you not think a 14 year old (for example) has the right to some privacy? What if she has thoughts she wants to put down but doesn't want you to know?
Speaking of the Princess Royal:
If she was sexually active I would certainly want to know so she could be put on birth control and be tested for sexual diseases.
If she was having suicidal thoughts or was depressed I would want to know to get treatment for her.
If she was very unhappy about school I would want to know so that the matter could be looked into and either handled or anothe school sought out.
If she was committing crimes or bullying someone I would want to know, but I don't know what exactly to do right now.
If she was having a problem with me I would want to know so I could examine my part in it and either change my behavior or be prepared when she brings it up.
In fact there isn't a single thing I can think of that I wouldn't want to know. Even if she were to write that she was transgendered I could prepare myself and her for the moment of revelation so I could be accepting rather than floored.
I suspect more people commit suicide because of what they're hiding than commiting suicide for sharing their hidden thoughts, fears, dreams, etc.
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But shouldn't it be up to her to tell you when she is transgendered? There is a process the kid needs to go through in their mind before they are ready to come out, and I don't think that should be violated
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But shouldn't it be up to her to tell you when she is transgendered? There is a process the kid needs to go through in their mind before they are ready to come out, and I don't think that should be violated
I didn't say that I would choose when she decided to tell me she is transgendered. I said that I could adjust my attitude, go through the stages of grief if necessary, read information on the subject and give her a big hug and a motherly kiss when she tells me.
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Mostly kids write crap in their diaries as some sort of code so us adults can't understand them. I don't have kids, and my nieces wouldn't let me near them anyway. Besides, what they'd put in those things is already on FB anyway.
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i know my dad snooped in my stuff, and i bet he snoops in his kids stuff now.
my mother on the other hand was very against snooping.
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My parents never read my journal when i was a teenager as far as I know, but my brother did. All he did with it was use the info to mock me and decide he was better than me because he wasn't having emo problems like mine. :P
I don't know what my parents would have done if they had read it. I doubt much of it would have been news to them; I spent a lot of time whining about things they already knew about and had decided to ignore.
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From the moment my kids could open envelopes, I have not opened one that was addressed to them, apart from one by accident. And I apologised for it.
I've knocked on their doors since they were really little, first to announce I was entering, later to give them the chance to tell me that I was welcome. I do expect the same of them.
I know that there are families where every member of the family feels free to open all mail. I find it disgusting.
Would I read a diary of my girls, would I check what they do in chat? Not as long as there is no serious reason to do so.
I can imagine some parents doing that really well though.
A colleague of mine has saved her daughter from nasty meet-ups with older men, who pretended to be 16 year olds many times. She scrutinises what one of her children does online, because of her being very gullible and naive. (And yes, a spectrum child she is). She stays clear of the things of her other kids.
I was talking about this a while ago with my oldest. She agreed that there may be reasons why it would be good for me to know what was happening. Also, that I knew it would be a piece of cake for her to make herself an identity I would not know of. I hope I'll never find the need to pry in her personal stuff.
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I would feel odd opening mail that was addressed to someone else. GA and I always respected each other's privacy in that regard.
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In the early 90-ies, my ex and I had a shared email account, but, we never opened each others mail. Did not even cross our minds.
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I'd never read my kids diary. I can imagine how it would feel, I don't want my parents to control me either. I think kids should have some privacy, their own world and own problems that parents don't have to know about.
Of course if I noticed some serious changes in behavior, I'd start to investigate and ask and stuff
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All you have to do is check their blog, but its just a bunch of nonsense like shit that happened at school, or "Blah blah said I was blah blah but I told her she blah blah".
Not really relevant to anything I give a shit about.
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From the moment my kids could open envelopes, I have not opened one that was addressed to them, apart from one by accident. And I apologised for it.
I've knocked on their doors since they were really little, first to announce I was entering, later to give them the chance to tell me that I was welcome. I do expect the same of them.
I know that there are families where every member of the family feels free to open all mail. I find it disgusting.
Would I read a diary of my girls, would I check what they do in chat? Not as long as there is no serious reason to do so.
<snip>
:agreed: Monkeyboy gives me his passwords to everything (his choice, I didn't ask) but I don't use them unless he asks me too. For instance, his email account has gotten too full (he subscribes to so many newsletters) that he asked me to go through them so it's not as overwhelming so I agreed. I never do it without his permission though.
I remember finding out my Mum read my journal when I was a teen and I was livid. I've always been a person who has to put things in writing to get them out of my head. Most are not intended for anyone else to read (unless I'm blogging of course) it's just the way I process. I think part of the reason why I'm having so much trouble processing what's going on with the ex and all my emotions is that because I stopped putting it in writing in May for fear of being trolled or hacked (which he could easily do...he has the smarts/experience/access to do so).
I hate the idea of not having privacy. I give it to my children, and I expect it in return.
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No, I would never, ever, read a childs diary.
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I never made a diary to begin with, but my parents were fairly snoopy. My mother gave up recently since I'm away ahead of her in terms of securing my computer/accounts etc.
If I had kids, I can't be arsed knowing their business. More important things to do. I don't even check Emma's accounts, even when she accidentally left them logged on here. Go looking for trouble and you'll get it.
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Go looking for trouble and you'll get it.
:agreed:
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In that case the trouble already exists
I agree though, I wouldn't go snooping in my girlfriend's stuff . I wouldn't mind her reading my emails or whatever though tbh. I'm not that bothered though about clingy girls, unless they're completely psychotic and kill anyone I talk to etc
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Same thing goes for partners. I don't snoop.
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I snoop on here alll the time
I wouldn't ask for my gf's password though or anything like that. I gave milla my password for here but that was ages ago - pretty sure she doesn't come on here snooping in my emails :laugh: in fact she's probably completely forgotten
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I like snooping :tinfoil:
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I'd never read my kids diary. I can imagine how it would feel, I don't want my parents to control me either. I think kids should have some privacy, their own world and own problems that parents don't have to know about.
Of course if I noticed some serious changes in behavior, I'd start to investigate and ask and stuff
That is probably what I would do too, though knowing me, I'd go too far the other way and be too self-absorbed to notice those changes.
Fortunately all this is moot, since I have no children and am not planning to have any. :2thumbsup:
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I'd never read my kids diary. I can imagine how it would feel, I don't want my parents to control me either. I think kids should have some privacy, their own world and own problems that parents don't have to know about.
Of course if I noticed some serious changes in behavior, I'd start to investigate and ask and stuff
That is probably what I would do too, though knowing me, I'd go too far the other way and be too self-absorbed to notice those changes.
Fortunately all this is moot, since I have no children and am not planning to have any. :2thumbsup:
yeah, same here :D
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I would want kids if I was more normal. But I would probably leave any important stuff like that to my gf/wife :P
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I would want kids if I was more normal. But I would probably leave any important stuff like that to my gf/wife :P
Now don't be one of those "I'll put your mother on the phone"-type dads! :zoinks: