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Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: Silk on September 15, 2006, 08:34:17 PM

Title: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Silk on September 15, 2006, 08:34:17 PM
I went out to IHOP and as my mom and I were waiting for the check to come, the waitress came by and told us some guy paid for our meals. He did it for another table of two women beside us too. My mom just shrugged. I think she was too tired to protest, but it creeped me out. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that someone did it without asking, or that he had already left so I couldn't figure out why he did it or who it was. I'm pretty sure it was the guy sitting at a table on the other side of the wood panel. Old guy with so much hair gell in his hair that it was flaking really badly. From this one act I know that some guy was looking at us, and it creeps me out. My mom laughed at me for being so paranoid.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: McGiver on September 15, 2006, 09:24:11 PM
maybe it was just some person, paying it forward.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: lilia on September 15, 2006, 09:25:48 PM
My dad used to do that sometimes after my mom died, when he saw families that looked happy to him.  I'm not sure what his reasoning behind it was, but it seemed to make him happy.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Callaway on September 15, 2006, 10:04:48 PM
maybe it was just some person, paying it forward.

I liked that movie, but I cried like a baby when the kid got stabbed at the end and they had all those candles for him.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Callaway on September 15, 2006, 10:07:15 PM
Obviously, if he had already left, he did not want anything from you and your mother.  He probably just wanted to be nice in his own way.

Aeval, when did your mom die?
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: lilia on September 15, 2006, 10:08:12 PM
Obviously, if he had already left, he did not want anything from you and your mother.  He probably just wanted to be nice in his own way.

Aeval, when did your mom die?

Nine years ago.  She had a lot of birth defects that eventually resulted in the failure of her heart / liver / kidneys.  It's why I was adopted.  She couldn't have kids.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Callaway on September 15, 2006, 10:14:25 PM
I am sorry about your mom, Aeval.  My mom died almost four years ago of a heart attack.  My daughter was born with a lot of birth defects too, but I hope that they don't shorten her life.  My daughter was born with VACTERL syndrome.   She had a hole in her heart and other heart problems, but these were fixed when she was three weeks old.  She has congenital scoliosis because some of her vertebrae are messed up and she has renal reflux, along with some other less serious physical problems.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: lilia on September 15, 2006, 10:18:42 PM
I'm sorry, Callaway.  How is your daughter doing now?  Does she seem like she's a happy child?

I know my mother always completely enjoyed life, no matter how bad she was feeling.  I think having gone through what she did, she was more able to see the value of it than most of us are. 

I do think your daughter will be in a much healthier state than my mother was as an adult though.  The medical advances that we've had in the past 30 - 50 years seem to have advanced the quality of life quite a bit.  From what I remember, my mother was born on a kitchen table and not taken to the hospital for treatment til she was extremely sick and not breathing well.  Maybe if she had been treated sooner, the issues wouldn't have developed as much as they did.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Callaway on September 15, 2006, 10:37:06 PM
I think she is reasonably happy.  She sometimes notices that she seems to have more problems and take more medicine than other children do, so she has asked about that.  She may need surgery to fix her renal reflux and her scoliosis, which I wonder if she would be able to handle, especially the scoliosis surgery because she would need to be in a halo vest for a couple of months after that surgery.  She has autism, not AS, so she has pretty severe sensory issues and she has very little impulse control, although she is very smart in many ways.  We had orthotic braces for her feet, which she was supposed to sleep in to help her bunions, but we could not keep them on her feet at night because she would keep taking them off.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: lilia on September 15, 2006, 10:40:29 PM
We had orthotic braces for her feet, which she was supposed to sleep in to help her bunions, but we could not keep them on her feet at night because she would keep taking them off.

I'd call that quite smart.  Is she able to adequately communicate her discomfort when she experiences it? 

My son is 14, so I can relate to the powerful need to do everything you can to ensure your child has the best life possible.  From what I know of you so far, you seem as if you would be a very good mother.  Your daughter is lucky in that respect.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: QuirkyCarla on September 15, 2006, 10:49:28 PM
maybe it was just some person, paying it forward.

I liked that movie, but I cried like a baby when the kid got stabbed at the end and they had all those candles for him.

Ditto.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: QuirkyCarla on September 15, 2006, 10:53:25 PM
We had orthotic braces for her feet, which she was supposed to sleep in to help her bunions, but we could not keep them on her feet at night because she would keep taking them off.

I'd call that quite smart.  Is she able to adequately communicate her discomfort when she experiences it? 

My son is 14, so I can relate to the powerful need to do everything you can to ensure your child has the best life possible.  From what I know of you so far, you seem as if you would be a very good mother.  Your daughter is lucky in that respect.

Whoa...I didn't know you had a son...and he's only a year younger than my sister!  :o
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: lilia on September 15, 2006, 10:56:52 PM
Whoa...I didn't know you had a son...and he's only a year younger than my sister!  :o

He and I don't actually look that much different in age now.  It's scary.  The school has told me to have his mother come back to pick him up before because they thought I was his sister.

He was born when I was 19.  He's a good kid - we basically grew up together.  He takes care of me as much as I take care of him.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: QuirkyCarla on September 15, 2006, 10:58:55 PM
awwww  :)
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Callaway on September 15, 2006, 11:08:51 PM
We had orthotic braces for her feet, which she was supposed to sleep in to help her bunions, but we could not keep them on her feet at night because she would keep taking them off.

I'd call that quite smart.  Is she able to adequately communicate her discomfort when she experiences it? 

My son is 14, so I can relate to the powerful need to do everything you can to ensure your child has the best life possible.  From what I know of you so far, you seem as if you would be a very good mother.  Your daughter is lucky in that respect.

Yes, I have almost always been able to understand her, even when others could not.  No matter how much I explained the purpose of the braces, she could not bear wearing them all night.  I even tried sneaking into her room after she fell asleep and putting them on her very carefully, but she would wake up and take them off a little later.  She has always been a little Houdini.  She nearly drove us crazy stripping off all her clothes and her diaper when she was a baby.  Every time I thought I had outsmarted her in the quest to keep her diapered, she would figure out another way to strip.  She could undo diaper pins at eight months old, and she could slip her whole body through the neck of a turtleneck bodyshirt.  It was worst when I put her to bed, because she would never go to sleep if I checked on her.  She finally got big enough to reason with and we made a deal:  She could sleep in just a diaper, but she needed to keep it on.

I think you must be a very good mother for your son as well.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: McGiver on September 15, 2006, 11:10:23 PM
i always love to read the pride in a parents post!
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: lilia on September 15, 2006, 11:16:53 PM
Yes, I have almost always been able to understand her, even when others could not.  No matter how much I explained the purpose of the braces, she could not bear wearing them all night.  I even tried sneaking into her room after she fell asleep and putting them on her very carefully, but she would wake up and take them off a little later.  She has always been a little Houdini.  She nearly drove us crazy stripping off all her clothes and her diaper when she was a baby.  Every time I thought I had outsmarted her in the quest to keep her diapered, she would figure out another way to strip.  She could undo diaper pins at eight months old, and she could slip her whole body through the neck of a turtleneck bodyshirt.  It was worst when I put her to bed, because she would never go to sleep if I checked on her.  She finally got big enough to reason with and we made a deal:  She could sleep in just a diaper, but she needed to keep it on.

I think you must be a very good mother for your son as well.

She sounds absolutely adorable. I know, at the time, it's frustrating when you can't keep them dressed or diapered, but when you look back on things like that you have to smile at how ingenious kids can be.

 I relate to children in ways that I'm not sure I'll ever be able to relate to another adult.  Their motivations make sense.  When I found out I was pregnant, a lot of people  encouraged me to put him up for adoption, because they weren't sure I could take care of him, but he and I understand each other.  Children are just amazing people.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Lucifer on September 15, 2006, 11:27:01 PM

My son is 14

 :o  blimey, aeval - i thought you were in your teens yourself..  i am gobsmacked, frankly.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: lilia on September 15, 2006, 11:30:05 PM

My son is 14

 :o  blimey, aeval - i thought you were in your teens yourself..  i am gobsmacked, frankly.

I'm 34, though people always tell me I am acting like a 3 year old.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: QuirkyCarla on September 15, 2006, 11:31:08 PM
yeah, you seem/look a lot younger  :laugh:
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Silk on September 16, 2006, 01:45:34 PM
maybe it was just some person, paying it forward.

I liked that movie, but I cried like a baby when the kid got stabbed at the end and they had all those candles for him.

 :o I haven't finished the movie yet!
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: purposefulinsanity on September 16, 2006, 01:46:50 PM
I think if it was me it would bug the hell out of me too trying to figure out why they did it. :laugh:
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Silk on September 16, 2006, 01:49:21 PM
Obviously, if he had already left, he did not want anything from you and your mother.  He probably just wanted to be nice in his own way.

Aeval, when did your mom die?

That's a relief. Maybe I need to have a little more faith in humanity. Damn, this means I have to be nice to someone doesn't it?
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Lucifer on September 16, 2006, 02:35:25 PM

That's a relief. Maybe I need to have a little more faith in humanity. Damn, this means I have to be nice to someone doesn't it?

meeeee!  be nice to meeeee!

(http://www.smileyparadies.de/smilies/liebe/pri.gif)
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Silk on September 16, 2006, 02:39:13 PM

That's a relief. Maybe I need to have a little more faith in humanity. Damn, this means I have to be nice to someone doesn't it?

meeeee!  be nice to meeeee!

(http://www.smileyparadies.de/smilies/liebe/pri.gif)

You're too easy to be nice to. I need a challenge.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Lucifer on September 16, 2006, 02:42:11 PM

That's a relief. Maybe I need to have a little more faith in humanity. Damn, this means I have to be nice to someone doesn't it?

meeeee!  be nice to meeeee!

(http://www.smileyparadies.de/smilies/liebe/pri.gif)

You're too easy to be nice to. I need a challenge.

pah.  i can be really nasty to you, if you'd like...  :P

i know!  how about if you practise on me, cos that's easy (you're obviously barking), so you can get it absolutely right before you start on your challenge?  i know, i know - i'm all heart, me.  ;D
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: richard on September 17, 2006, 01:02:44 PM
so if the waitress came over and said a woman payed for your meal you'd be freaked out too?
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: McGiver on September 17, 2006, 01:32:11 PM
lesbian!
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: Silk on September 17, 2006, 04:09:54 PM
so if the waitress came over and said a woman payed for your meal you'd be freaked out too?

Yes.
Title: Re: Ungrateful I Know
Post by: richard on September 18, 2006, 06:05:37 PM
Oh