INTENSITY²
Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: Triste on September 06, 2006, 08:49:46 PM
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i've decided to allow myself only one rant per day. y'all are welcome to join me in ranting about whatever, in fact, i encourage you to add stuff if only so i don't feel like i'm the only one who gripes.
i intend to start ranting about the un-user-friendly policies of my local public library, but i really need thr use of two hands to do the rant justice. so until i'm up and running, i'll let someone else start this off with a flourish.
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I guess I'll start ranting about all the shit that's happened to me since I moved into my dorm.
1) First off, this room didn't come with nearly as much storage as my old room. My old room had one of those closet-thingies (I forget what they're called) with a big drawer underneath it, and three little drawers. There wasn't a lot of room to hang things up in the close, but it was fine. It also came with a dresser. This room has NO dresser. Just one of the closet thingies, and under the closet part two medium-sized drawers. I was already worried that all my clothes wouldn't fit (I've got a lot of clothes), and then it turned out one of the drawers was broken! That really pissed me off and threw off my unpacking. I had to put a work order in (God knows when they'll finally fix it) and haven't unpacked my clothes yet. >:(
2) My school requires you to register your computer before you can use it to connect to the internet. At the beginning of the semester, this takes a long time because the server is very busy with so many students registering at the same time. Because of this, one of the first things I did was hook up my computer. When I opened my web browser, I got "this page cannot be displayed" instead of the registration page that usually comes up! I tried to fix it Sunday night and Labor day, but my attempts were futile. So yesterday I wound up sitting in IT with 10 or 15 other people who couldn't connect to the internet, and luckily they fixed it pretty quickly. Still, it was an annoying hassle to be with no internet for 3 days, especially when there's not a lot to do.
3) After going to IT yesterday, I went to the bookstore to ask if my voucher had come in for my books. (I get a voucher from voc rehab, or Division of Vocational Rehabilitation, as it is called in New Jersey.) They told me it hadn't come in and to call my DVR counselor. I went back to my room, and he told me he had sent it August 29 and to go to Student Accounts since that's who they mailed it to, along with my tuition aid money. Student Accounts said that if they got the voucher, they would have sent to to the bookstore and that they did get the other money. They said that if it wasn't in the computer at the bookstore, that it was probably in the back. I went BACK to the bookstore, and they still couldn't find it. They told me to ask my DVR counselor to fax over the information. So I did. I was too lazy to go back to the bookstore though, which is why I went today. Finally, I got my books.
On top of all that other crap I had to do yesterday, I had to go to the teaching department so I could make sure I could still apply. I had been panicking for days over something I saw on the application (if what was on the application was true, I wouldn't be able to apply because I wouldn't have enough credits in my major.) Luckily, the advisor I talked to said I was fine. I still gotta write my 4 page essay for it though, and it's due Monday, 9/11. :-\
4) Today I got woken up by maintenance men coming to fix the mold on my ceiling. (Yep, there was mold. I'm allergic to it too.) I wasn't even wearing a bra. >:( After they left I went back to sleep and hours later got woken up by another maintenance man wanting to check my air conditioning filter.
So that's all the crap I've gone through. Luckily, most of it was resolved. Unfortunately I still have the broken drawer though. :(
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i think carla is going to like this thread.
my gripe is with slow driving cars in the fastlane.
wtf- if they want to go 50 miles per hour, why don't they drive in the same lane as the truck drivers. i mean, thats as fast as they go anyways, and if the get behind one, then they can get better gas mileage by drafting.
nascar term.
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I don't know why you'd want to limit yourself to one rant a day, I love rants, I wish people would rant more often. I hear about aspies having the problem where they rant ceaselessly over one topic, and i'm always disappointed I don't hear that more in wrongplanet chat or where ever. You all know shit about physics, biology, and other sciences and studies I could just be absorbing right now, but you decline to.
/me wants more ranting.
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I don't know why you'd want to limit yourself to one rant a day, I love rants, I wish people would rant more often. I hear about aspies having the problem where they rant ceaselessly over one topic, and i'm always disappointed I don't hear that more in wrongplanet chat or where ever. You all know shit about physics, biology, and other sciences and studies I could just be absorbing right now, but you decline to.
/me wants more ranting.
I would rant more if it wouldn't bore people. I'm sure no one is going to read through my last post. :-[ :laugh:
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I read through it, I just did not know what to say. What is wrong with your drawer? What on it is broken?
At least you have a room to yourself.
I had a spell of temporary insanity for a short time in college when I thought it would improve my people skills to move into a house off campus with four other girls. I didn't know any of them. We drove each other crazy.
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I read through it, i'm waiting for more.
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The closet thing is a armoire I believe QC. ;D
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I read through it, I just did not know what to say. What is wrong with your drawer? What on it is broken?
(http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/9707/brokendrawerpv9.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)
At least you have a room to yourself.
I had a spell of temporary insanity for a short time in college when I thought it would improve my people skills to move into a house off campus with four other girls. I didn't know any of them. We drove each other crazy.
I had roommates my freshman year that drove me crazy. Now I only live in singles.
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the nails are still in it, even with that piece of wood gone. they need to be taken out, and then it needs to be nailed in. a man's job. :laugh:
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I read through it, i'm waiting for more.
Waiting for what? The closet thing is a armoire I believe QC. ;D
Ah, thank you. :)
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Your welcome QC.
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More ranting.
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More ranting.
Oh, perhaps another time. I'm kinda tired now. :laugh:
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More ranting.
I would second that to of, Your school rantings they do make Me laugh. :laugh:
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Maybe after I go to class tomorrow I will find more to rant about ;D
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Maybe after I go to class tomorrow I will find more to rant about ;D
Would You. ;)
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I read through it, I just did not know what to say. What is wrong with your drawer? What on it is broken?
(http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/9707/brokendrawerpv9.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)
At least you have a room to yourself.
I had a spell of temporary insanity for a short time in college when I thought it would improve my people skills to move into a house off campus with four other girls. I didn't know any of them. We drove each other crazy.
I had roommates my freshman year that drove me crazy. Now I only live in singles.
Do you have any tools?
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nothing that could help me with that :-\
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the nails are still in it, even with that piece of wood gone. they need to be taken out, and then it needs to be nailed in. a man's job. :laugh:
and filled with wood putty, then sanded, then stained to match the color.
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the nails are still in it, even with that piece of wood gone. they need to be taken out, and then it needs to be nailed in. a man's job. :laugh:
and filled with wood putty, then sanded, then stained to match the color.
i don't know what you're talking about. :-X ??? :laugh:
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The other problem is probably that the drawer does not glide properly, which is why the front was nailed on like that and broken.
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my gripe of the day is about bullies:
in particular, bullies who bully by exclusion or ignoring their prey.
i do not agree with any form of bullying, but i realize now that it is inevitable. but if you are going to bully someone i think its best that you bully them to their face, that way they at least know where they stand with you. its the honest approach.
those who bully in disguise or behind others backs is a cowards bullying tactic.
but to me, the absolute lowest form of bullying is by ignoring a person, not letting them know that you have a problem with them. at least if you are bullying face to face, the two may come to an understanding since, then there is at least opportunity. or the person being bullied may learn about themselves and change, if they so choose.
that is all.
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Bitching behind people's backs is one of my pet peves- maybe its the Yorkshire bluntness in me, but I always think if you have a problem you should just come right out and say it.
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totally agree. people who pretend nowts going on to your face while they're scheming away and whining about you out of sight are the most pathetic, spineless fuckers there are. I have zero respect for that kind of two-faced, cowardly behaviour. >:(
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the whining would irritate the fuck out of me, too. but what mcj described doesn't sound like bullying, in some cases - more like "how to wind someone else up into the stratosphere". which, obviously, is a great idea.
no?
just me, then...
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Not my preferred approach. Flame until crispy, then piss on the bonfire is more like it. >:D
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the whining would irritate the fuck out of me, too. but what mcj described doesn't sound like bullying, in some cases - more like "how to wind someone else up into the stratosphere". which, obviously, is a great idea.
no?
just me, then...
does it entertain you?
the bottom line is that everybody is bound by their own perceptions of reality, their own biases and prejudices based upon lifes experience. we all do what we do to get through our day.
so my theory is if, its ok with you and helps you get through your day, who am i to judge your actions.
i just think that there are levels of behaviour. and its based upon my own perceptions.
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i noticed. ;)
however, i like to work with the individual, as it were, so if that modus operandi fucks them over more than the direct approach, that's what i'd do. :angel:
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i don't think another person can fuck someone else up. where is the human spirit. people allow themselves to be effected by anothers, mere, words.
i do think a parent can fuck up a child though, but not two grown adults.
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does it entertain you?
the bottom line is that everybody is bound by their own perceptions of reality, their own biases and prejudices based upon lifes experience. we all do what we do to get through our day.
so my theory is if, its ok with you and helps you get through your day, who am i to judge your actions.
i just think that there are levels of behaviour. and its based upon my own perceptions.
that woiuld depend on who it was, and why i wanted to why them up. i've done it with an ex of mine before, for the precisely the reason i mentioned - going at him directly would just giev his ego something to feed off, showing he still had the power to affect me and my life. ignoring him - emails, phone calls, etc. - meant he wasn't worth responding to. i bet his head blew off. (the disadvantage, obviously, was that i never knew his reaction, but i'm pretty damned sure he would've been been incandescent with drustration, being mainly an Ego on legs).
i agree that there are - and should be - levels of behaviour. it's what you have to have if you want to live in a community of people - society, or whatever. if someone i gave any sort of a shit about was freaked out by my ignoring them, i'd probably take the time to explain myself.
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i don't think another person can fuck someone else up. where is the human spirit. people allow themselves to be effected by anothers, mere, words.
i do think a parent can fuck up a child though, but not two grown adults.
you'd be very surprised, then.
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but adults have choices.
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The thing is (in my opinion) that people don't instantly become fully self-responsible the moment they hit 18 or 21 or whatever your age of majority of choice is. People grow up at different rates. There are a heck of a lot of grown adults who wander around acting just like children. Some who need a good smack to snap them out of it, but some where if you smack them, they'll just curl up and die cause they genuinely can't take it. That's when it becomes a question of how much do you believe in Darwin.
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i believe in accountability of the individuals, rather than the blame game.
people still choose.
even children, when they grow up they have options. are they influenced, certainly. are they doomed, certainly not.
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True. I'm not advocating the blame game, and I agree kids aren't doomed. I guess what I mean is that if I'm going to act on survival of the fittest, I'd rather call it what it is, instead of pretending that everyone can deal with everything.
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I'd rather call it what it is.
call it!
i am curious because you threw out a buzz phrase that might lend support for few who have been vocal. a rally call, iff you will. but i doubt highly that it fits into your own set of values. but it will give you support.
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What are you talking about? ???
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you made an insinuation. and it could fit nicely into one camp of the recent drama. i doubt you agree with that side of the fence.
i want to know what you mean when when you say:
I guess what I mean is that if I'm going to act on survival of the fittest, I'd rather call it what it is, instead of pretending that everyone can deal with everything.
i want a concrete term. what do you mean. ??? :-\
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Hey, I just thought of something, mcjagger, if I say " +1 ;D I am sucking your dick" Rather than just "+1 ;D" can i be exempt from the smite due to honesty?
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if you change your custom title to: The Exception.
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I think being an exception is implied with me.
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prove it to me and i will exempt you.
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totally agree. people who pretend nowts going on to your face while they're scheming away and whining about you out of sight are the most pathetic, spineless fuckers there are. I have zero respect for that kind of two-faced, cowardly behaviour. >:(
Ditto.
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my gripe of the day is about bullies:
in particular, bullies who bully by exclusion or ignoring their prey.
i do not agree with any form of bullying, but i realize now that it is inevitable. but if you are going to bully someone i think its best that you bully them to their face, that way they at least know where they stand with you. its the honest approach.
those who bully in disguise or behind others backs is a cowards bullying tactic.
but to me, the absolute lowest form of bullying is by ignoring a person, not letting them know that you have a problem with them. at least if you are bullying face to face, the two may come to an understanding since, then there is at least opportunity. or the person being bullied may learn about themselves and change, if they so choose.
that is all.
Sounds an awful lot like what some people suggested should have been done with Flo.
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I think with flo, the idea was more to ignore him, tell him that we were ignoring him, let him know why and what could be done to resolve it, and hope he OD'd on ginseng in an attempt to cure himself of the last of his HFA.
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And I think Nomaken should always be an exception.
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Nomaken is definitely exceptional.
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I love Nomaken!
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There has been a lot of mourning for the death of Steve Irwin who is in my opinion a bloody idiot, if he was anything like Sir David Attenborough he would not be putting his finger up crocodile's arses and being stabbed in the heart by stingray, in an attempt I assume to put his finger up it's arse ::)
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ok, nomaken has way too much support, so i reject the notion of making him the exception.
hey, he's already popular enough, why does he need my approval also.
i think i will make an exception for teejay, since i have already given him too much crap in his lifetime.
my gripe of the day:
sherriffs, cops, and constables (for out british friends).
need i say more?
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I dont +1 people that much anyway, it probably should be reserved to someone who +1's people a lot. However can I still +1 people without fear of smiting if i am honest and admit I am sucking their dick right in the post?
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Why does most of the world insist on running 9-5 days?? I'm not tired and I'm enjoying posting, but I'm going to have to try sleep if I'm to get up on time to get the kids off to school tomorrow. >:(
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Oh where to start. I've been given the okay to use both hands, which speeds up typing dramatically. So one good thing happened today.
I have a perpetual beef with one of my professors. Right now I'm pissed because she's so disorganized she hasn't gotten around to grading the first two assignments I've handed in. jThe way is it's supposed to work, in my understanding, is that you hand in a paper, it gets graded, then you get assigned your next paper. But noooo. Another one is due soon, I fucking refuse to do any more work until I have some clue as to how she's graded the first two. She's so bad that I considered filing a grievance, first week into the semester. Other complaints about her: she's given assignments not listed in the syllabus, she has a grading rubric that doesn't match the syllabus (so how do we know which is correct?) for example, in one place the midterm is 25% of the grade, and in another it's worth less than 10%. WTF? Also, I'm on a different island than she is, and for the first lecture, she lectured from a powerpoint presentation that I wasn't able to see at my remote video site. She had the camera focused on the other students, not her or the screen with the powerpoint presentation. When I complained, she said "Did you bring your laptop? Because this should be in your university mailbox." I couldn't believe it. Who would bring their laptop to a lecture? What if I used a desktop and not a laptop? I got home, and found out that she had indeed sent the powerpoint slides - 25 minutes before class started. It takes me half an hour to get to the uni, so how in hell would I have known to A - check my email before the very first lecture and B - have had time to download the file and still make it to the lecture in time? Argh. I've been bombarding her with questions, and half the time, after she answers my question she goes and fixes her mistake and lets all the other students know by email. It's like it's her very first semester teaching, but I checked, and it's not. I want her fired. And the worst part is - she's my fucking ADVISOR. I have to take one class a semester from her till I"m done. Six semesters of her crappy instructing.
Ok, I think I'm done now. I'm going to go check to see if she's given me a grade for an assignment I handed in over two weeks ago...
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sorry to hear that, triste :(
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Why do schools always think they know better than you about your kids?? We found this week that Adam's class are starting swimming lessons this year. I think its a great idea kids learning to swim but Adam has a major phobia about going in the water. I've taken him swimming a few times this summer and I am working on helping him with this phobia but I just know that going with a whole class of kids is just not going to work. But the school says he has to do it- he was in a state when his teacher told him this, he fears going in the water that much. His teacher has told us that he can't be exempt from swimming not matter what his special needs are. I am fuming- if he freaks out in the water how can I know that they are going to be able to keep him safe with a whole class full of kids to watch? Then there's the fact that I know that every week on the day he has swimming he's just going to be a wreck so his education is going to suffer >:(
Unless they can reassure me that they are going to have the resources to give him the support he needs there is no way I am backing down on this one! I am completely sick of having to deal with the school, especially since they pretty much ignored his IEP last school year.
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I would not back down on this issue either, Purposeful Insanity. If you lived in the US, I would tell you to talk to a special education attorney about Adam's educational rights and possibly even begin a due process hearing about this, because I see it as a safety issue and no school has the right to endanger Adam's safety. If he is this terrified of the water and they force him to go into it without one-on-one support, then I think he is unsafe and so are the other children. If the teacher needs to keep him safe, how can she also keep all the other children in her care safe also? This is so wrong to force a terrified child into the water.
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Thanks Callaway- have just found out its worse than I thought- his class teacher (who's the school's new special needs co-ordinator) isn't the one taking them, its the head teacher. He is completely clueless about kids with special needs and has no understanding at all of Adam- we've had problems with him in the past about this. Adam came home with a letter today trying to reassure us that he will be ok and telling us that he has to take his swimming stuff on Monday ready to go swimming.
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tell them that you are willing to help supervise each day, and then tell them what your hourly rate is.
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Oh my God, that is just horrible.
I found some general information about advocacy from Wrightslaw (http://www.wrightslaw.com/) hoping that it might help you with this issue:
http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/advo.do.dont.margolis.htm
Parent Advocacy: What You Should Do . . . and Not Do
by Leslie Seid Margolis, Esq.
What Parents Should Do
1. Prepare for Meetings
You should treat the IEP meeting as if it is the first step towards a due process hearing by preparing for the meeting and building a record. If you do this, you make it less likely that you will end up at a due process hearing. If you do end up at a hearing, you will be in a stronger position.
2. Prioritize Your Child's Needs
Everything you want for your child is not equally important. Make a list of what your child really needs, what you want for your child (but may be willing to compromise on), and what would be nice to have but that you would definitely be willing to give up.
Think about the evidence you have to support each requested item (i.e., reports, assessments, experts, other documents). If you prioritize your issues and have facts and evidence that support what you want, it is more likely that you will be taken seriously.
3. Build Good Relationships
Develop positive relationships with school personnel, to the greatest extent possible. Ask questions. Ask your child's team to explain things you do not understand.
Take the high road. As hard as this may be to do, being polite and courteous is always better than being rude and nasty. If a meeting is deteriorating with nasty comments or behavior from any team member, ask for a break or ask that the meeting be continued to a later date and time.
Good relationships with school personnel and central office staff to the extent possible, will generally ensure that issues you bring up will be taken seriously.
4. Document Issues & Concerns
Ask that items and issues you feel strongly about be documented in the meeting summary or notes. Review the summary before you leave the meeting. Know your rights about amending your child’s records.
5. Use Advocacy Strategies
Use advocacy strategies. Meetings do not have to be drawn out to the point of battle. For example, if the team cannot reach an agreement about the type or amount of service, suggest that the issue be tabled in order to obtain additional information from consultatation or conversation(s) between your child’s private therapist (if there is one) and the school therapist.
Rather than immediately asking for an independent assessment, disputes can sometimes be resolved by asking that an assessment be conducted by a school district evalutor who does not know your child.
What Parents Should Not Do
1. Complain Loudly & Often
Parents should not complain about every issue that comes up over the course of their child’s school life. This is the equivalent of crying wolf, and ensures that when a serious issue does arise, you will not be taken seriously. This is because you are expending the same amount of complaint energy on the serious issue as you expended on trivial issues.
2. Assume the Worst
Parents should not assume that the school district is out to get their child and deny services. While the reality is that the school district is a bureaucracy with its own interests to protect, most individuals in the district enter the field because they care about children.
While you need to enter the special education process with knowledge to protect your child’s rights, you should treat the professionals with whom you deal as if those professionals have your child’s best interests at heart.
3. Have a Closed Mind
You need to be have an open mind at at IEP meetings. If your child's team proposes a placement with which you disagree, do not dismiss it, or refuse to observe it, or refuse to consider it. This is especially true if you may challenge the appropriateness of the proposed placement.
Again, the IEP meeting is important for record-building purposes. If the case goes to a due process hearing, it is important that you present as a cooperative person who thoughtfully considered the team’s program, personally observed the program, and can explain why you believe the program does not meet your child’s needs.
4. Stint on Experts
Do not try to save money by stinting on experts. You need to find experts who can provide sound professional opinions and evidence. Experts are critical to successful cases, especially if parents are unrepresented.
If you truly cannot find experts, either through your children’s medical service providers or otherwise, you need to think about how to use supportive (or even hostile) school personnel to your advantage.
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i just thought that if she was present that it would help adam feel more comfortable.
she did say that she took him swimming a few times this summer.
however, i am with you callaway, i think she should hold her ground.
my idea was a last resort.
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Thanks to the both of you.
McJagger- I had already decided that if they said there was no-one free to supervise him if he stayed at school I would go into school myself and do some work with him every week. I hadn't thought about offering to go swimming with him- not sure how the school would feel about that though as they don't like helpers working with their own children in school hours (one parent who helped out on a school trip wasn't allowed to go in the same group as their child).
Callaway- thanks for the info, I have also already emailed the National autistic society's help service- they were excellent last time I got in touch with them.
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I'm sorry, McJagger, I did not mean your idea was horrible. Â I thought it was horrible that someone with no experience with special needs children who is clueless about Adam's needs was going to be the one to force a terrified Adam into the water.
If there was nothing else I could do, I would be there at every session to assure my child's safety, but it may not be possible for Purposeful Insanity to be there at every session because she has a younger son at home too.
Purposeful Insanity, I would not offer, I would insist they keep my child safe and if they are not willing to do it, then I will, assuming of course that you can.
I prefer not to act like a card carrying member of the Parents From Hell if I have an alternative, but they will not endanger my child's safety or well-being.
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i admire both of your vigilance (P.I & Callaway).
keep up the hard work.
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My mum manages the special needs service for schools in the East Renfrewshire area, and she said your best bet was to get a professional opinion from a psychologist on why swimming lessons would be detrimental to him. Also, to complain to your local elected counciller about it, since they allocate funding to schools, and one of the things schools fear most is having the local counciller taking action against them, and if that didn't work, to contact your MP. Inform the counciller of all the problems you've had with the school not following through in the help they were meant to give Adam and so on.
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Thank you Peter and say thanks to your mum too :) I'm going to ask them some more questions on monday about how many adults will be supervising the swimming lessons, etc. But I won't be giving in until I know he is going to be well supervised by someone who understands his issues.