INTENSITY²
Start here => Free For ALL => Topic started by: Natalia Evans on October 02, 2009, 12:53:02 AM
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Nope, not a real one. This is my replacement for the one I lost.
(http://i71.photobucket.com/albums/i156/likedcalico/101_0217.jpg)
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SG are you still trying to cope with your loss? :(
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Yes.
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I'm sorry. Does having the doll help you deal with it?
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She'll take a shit on it. :LMAO:
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I don't know whether or not this is a joke, but it made me a little sad.
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I'm so sorry for your loss, SG. :(
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I'm sorry. Does having the doll help you deal with it?
Yeah sort of but shame I can't take it out in public. I might bring it to the group as a joke. I like making people laugh.
I don't know whether or not this is a joke, but it made me a little sad.
I posted this as a joke but I really do keep it with me.
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Maybe a lifelike one would have been better. That one's a bit small, and you or hubby could sit on it.
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maybe you should wait a while longer before you think about trying again... you don't seem ready to me SG (and yeah i don't know you or anything, this is just the impression i'm getting online).
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I tend to get stuck on thoughts and have a harder time moving on. But at least I am passed the depression phase when I see preggers and their babies. Now I like teasing my husband about our baby and he is starting to be a better father but he left her in her little crib all morning but at least he gave her my stuffed Clifford.
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I would strongly suggest waiting before you try again SG. Sometimes when you think you've gotten over the worst feelings about this sort of thing, they come up when you least expect it. Counselling is a good idea.
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i think so too. there is no rush - you are still very youngso have plenty of time.
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I would strongly suggest waiting before you try again SG. Sometimes when you think you've gotten over the worst feelings about this sort of thing, they come up when you least expect it. Counselling is a good idea.
You know I'm starting to think that. I have been fighting the urge of taking my doll out, I did yesterday but kept it in my husband's bag and left it in the car and I am also fighting myself to not post so much miscarriage stuff on Yahoo Answers because then I just feel like an attention whore. I have already gotten this far and I still want to talk about miscarriages. So far no lady has contacted me from yahoo answers to talk about miscarriages and I have in my profile I am looking for other ladies to talk to about it who has had one. The miscarriages forums I visited are not very active so it's useless and I have already received two PMs from the mod there because of the way I was talking about miscarriages. So now I am speechless on what to say. I don't know what other behaviors there are unacceptable. I don't even know if asking women about how many times they miscarried before their first baby is okay or not. I probably should ask the mod. I also tried looking for support groups in my area but found none. I'm going to pick up the phone tomorrow and call to see what counselors there are.
But the good news is I've learned that some charities donate dolls to hospitals for moms to take home when they lose their baby and in some cultures when women miscarry, they are given a wooden doll.
Why do people need to recover first before they try again? Does it make it harder for women to get pregnant again?
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i just don't think you should be putting extra pressure on yourself at a time when you're obviously dealing with a lot mentally. also you might not be in the right frame of mind for having a child if you do then get pregnant and give birth
as i see it there is no rush, so you should just focus on coming to terms with the loss and feeling better yourself
i see nothing wrong with asking how many miscarriages someone has had if it's on a forum about miscarriages
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I would strongly suggest waiting before you try again SG. Sometimes when you think you've gotten over the worst feelings about this sort of thing, they come up when you least expect it. Counselling is a good idea.
You know I'm starting to think that. I have been fighting the urge of taking my doll out, I did yesterday but kept it in my husband's bag and left it in the car and I am also fighting myself to not post so much miscarriage stuff on Yahoo Answers because then I just feel like an attention whore. I have already gotten this far and I still want to talk about miscarriages. So far no lady has contacted me from yahoo answers to talk about miscarriages and I have in my profile I am looking for other ladies to talk to about it who has had one. The miscarriages forums I visited are not very active so it's useless and I have already received two PMs from the mod there because of the way I was talking about miscarriages. So now I am speechless on what to say. I don't know what other behaviors there are unacceptable. I don't even know if asking women about how many times they miscarried before their first baby is okay or not. I probably should ask the mod. I also tried looking for support groups in my area but found none. I'm going to pick up the phone tomorrow and call to see what counselors there are.
But the good news is I've learned that some charities donate dolls to hospitals for moms to take home when they lose their baby and in some cultures when women miscarry, they are given a wooden doll.
Why do people need to recover first before they try again? Does it make it harder for women to get pregnant again?
Because the choice to have a child is a 20 year committment. And you never know what you'll get....you could have a child that would require care for the rest of his/her life. It's always a gamble.
Why commit to 20 years of the unknown when you can just focus on yourself for awhile? Do the things you love to do by yourself, and with your husband. If you feel the need to nuture something and take care of it, try getting a pet first. There are a lot of people who have a dog or cat, or bird or whatever and nuture that to find out if they're ready for children. It fulfills the need of wanting to share something you love with your husband, and have something to dote on, without the complications of it being a little baby who's demands consume your every day life.
As for counselling, I would look into something that is one to one. I think that would be a safer environment for you where you can ask as many questions as you want without fear of offending annyone.Who wants to stress about what your asking is right or wrong when you're dealing with something so emotional?
I think it would be wise to take a beak from trying to get pregnant. You heart needs to heal and so does your body. Things like this do take time.
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i agree with cg.
also it's more than a 20 yr commitment - look at what my poor mother has to suffer from - i am 21 :laugh:
have you and your husband spent a lot of time thinking about what it will be like after you give birth - when the kid is growing up, problems that will arise, school, teenage years etc?
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I would strongly suggest waiting before you try again SG. Sometimes when you think you've gotten over the worst feelings about this sort of thing, they come up when you least expect it. Counselling is a good idea.
You know I'm starting to think that. I have been fighting the urge of taking my doll out, I did yesterday but kept it in my husband's bag and left it in the car and I am also fighting myself to not post so much miscarriage stuff on Yahoo Answers because then I just feel like an attention whore. I have already gotten this far and I still want to talk about miscarriages. So far no lady has contacted me from yahoo answers to talk about miscarriages and I have in my profile I am looking for other ladies to talk to about it who has had one. The miscarriages forums I visited are not very active so it's useless and I have already received two PMs from the mod there because of the way I was talking about miscarriages. So now I am speechless on what to say. I don't know what other behaviors there are unacceptable. I don't even know if asking women about how many times they miscarried before their first baby is okay or not. I probably should ask the mod. I also tried looking for support groups in my area but found none. I'm going to pick up the phone tomorrow and call to see what counselors there are.
But the good news is I've learned that some charities donate dolls to hospitals for moms to take home when they lose their baby and in some cultures when women miscarry, they are given a wooden doll.
Why do people need to recover first before they try again? Does it make it harder for women to get pregnant again?
Because the choice to have a child is a 20 year committment. And you never know what you'll get....you could have a child that would require care for the rest of his/her life. It's always a gamble.
Why commit to 20 years of the unknown when you can just focus on yourself for awhile? Do the things you love to do by yourself, and with your husband. If you feel the need to nuture something and take care of it, try getting a pet first. There are a lot of people who have a dog or cat, or bird or whatever and nuture that to find out if they're ready for children. It fulfills the need of wanting to share something you love with your husband, and have something to dote on, without the complications of it being a little baby who's demands consume your every day life.
As for counselling, I would look into something that is one to one. I think that would be a safer environment for you where you can ask as many questions as you want without fear of offending annyone.Who wants to stress about what your asking is right or wrong when you're dealing with something so emotional?
I think it would be wise to take a beak from trying to get pregnant. You heart needs to heal and so does your body. Things like this do take time.
My landlord won't allow pets. I would love to have a cat or a dog but I would rather have a place with a yard so our dog has a place to run around in and our cat has a place to rest. I have had pets in the past. My cat died and I had to get rid of my dog because I didn't think it be fair for my parents to have to take care of her because they already had four other dogs. I moved so I couldn't have a pet for now.
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I think people shouldn't have kids just for something to play with. And you gott get yourself stable. Plus the kid might end up aspie, if I knew I was gonna have a child that was aspie, I wouldn't want it. This world is only gonna get worse for us.
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I think people shouldn't have kids just for something to play with. And you gott get yourself stable.
:agreed:
Mentally, physically, financially. As stable as you can.
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SG,
The miscarriage will not go away. It is not strange that you are still thinking on it, or wanting to talk about it. It can come up again and again. It may make you sad in ten years, after years of hardly thinking about it.
Don't feel bad about how you feel, or about what you want to ask.
If on a forum about miscarriages your posts are seen as inappropriate, that may be your ASD.
In that way one on one counselling may be good for you indeed, provided the counsellor knows about ASD.
Talking about it may be good. It would not be a good thing to have a second child as a replacement for the first one. The first one needs mourning, so that you can let it go. And probably by being damned sad about it.
When it comes to having children. You can prepare yourself in a way. But in the end, you cannot plan when you will fall pregnant. You cannot plan if the pregnancy will go well, you cannot plan on the health of your kid. You cannot plan that no diseases will disrupt the lives of you or your husband. It is still wise to be well prepared though.
And you can and should be prepared to love a child for what it is I think. All the other things can change in a moment. Accidents, misfortunes, life is as insecure as hell. Make sure you are stable enough that you can vouch for your love for the child.
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This world is only gonna get worse for us.
I disagree. More is being learned about autism all the time, and understanding will increase. There are people (like me) who went through hell growing up and are willing to work so future generations don't have to go through what we did.
The curebies and 'autism speaks' crowd will one day be viewed in the same light as the ignorant people who burned witches.
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This world is only gonna get worse for us.
I disagree. More is being learned about autism all the time, and understanding will increase. There are people (like me) who went through hell growing up and are willing to work so future generations don't have to go through what we did.
The curebies and 'autism speaks' crowd will one day be viewed in the same light as the ignorant people who burned witches.
I didn't mean about autism awareness. Obviously that is getting better. The world is getting too crazy with technology and stress etc. The only hope is a cure or suicide.
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^ I disagree. How many aspies do you think are behind those technological advancements? Most likely a huge number. I don't think it has to be us vs. them. Everyone struggles with something to some degree. I don't want a cure and I'm not going to off myself. I just get by as best I can. Some days are better than others. :P
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^ I disagree. How many aspies do you think are behind those technological advancements? Most likely a huge number.
One day we will control the NT sheep. MUAHAHAHAHA!
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They're not behind, thats my point, they'll just become more secluded, and that'll just get them more depressed. Its too much of what they need, too easy to communicate with others, but its only a quick fix. But spending so much time watching tv or online, just makes ya feel worthless and very tired. I don't mean us vs them either, I hate that shit. I want a cure.
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Why though? A cure would change such a huge part of who you and then you wouldn't be the same person? :(
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Good. I'm not sure if the mis-prescribed epilum gave me aspergers, I heard someone say about that. My mind has a blockage, I used to be able to say what I wanted on the spot, now nothing comes to me cause i'm too buzy analyzing whats on my mind. Even though, the doc said I showed signs of child autism. Maybe the drug abuse, or definatly caused paranoia and too much anxiety, and depression.
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Get your butt on skype please. :-\
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Ain't gonna happen, benji. You were born with it, you'll live with it, and then you'll die with it. Acceptance is the best you can hope for. The 'us v them' shit grew old long ago, and it's only those that have a very insecure complex about themselves that keep regurgitating it. Doesn't matter whether you are Aspie, NT, bipolar, PDD-NOS - they are all fucking labels. Above all, we are all PEOPLE, posting on a forum together. And for the most part trying to live our lives the best we can. Doctors may put a dx in a file - doesn't mean you have to brand yourself like cattle with it.
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Why though? A cure would change such a huge part of who you and then you wouldn't be the same person? :(
Maybe a "cure" wouldn't change who he is. If there are some things that are causing him grief, would getting rid of those things fundamentally change him?
I mean what about depression, for example? If someone is depressed and we cure that, does it really change who they are?
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Ain't gonna happen, benji. You were born with it, you'll live with it, and then you'll die with it. Acceptance is the best you can hope for. The 'us v them' shit grew old long ago, and it's only those that have a very insecure complex about themselves that keep regurgitating it.Doesn't mate whether you are Aspie, NT, bipolar, PDD-NOS - they are all fucking labels. Above all, we are all PEOPLE, posting on a forum together. And for the most part trying to live our lives the best we can. Doctors may put a dx in a file - doesn't mean you have to brand yourself like cattle with it.
You wouldn't understand unless you had AS.
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Get your butt on skype please. :-\
I'm going to bed in a bit, will tommorrow
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even if it does change who you are, is that such a terrible thing? (i'm not talking about benji specifically here, lol)
i mean would i rather be myself and depressed, struggling to do anything worthehile and living a completely pointless existence, or would i rather be someone else and be able to live a normal life?
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Why though? A cure would change such a huge part of who you and then you wouldn't be the same person? :(
Maybe a "cure" wouldn't change who he is. If there are some things that are causing him grief, would getting rid of those things fundamentally change him?
I mean what about depression, for example? If someone is depressed and we cure that, does it really change who they are?
But depression isn't autism. Anxiety isn't autism. It's a product of.....autism in itself is how the way our brains are hardwired. To cure that means you change a huge part of the person. I know who Benji is as a person and do i want him to be happy? Absolutely. But I'd be sad to lose the person that I know him to be.
I also have autism, as does my son and my promise to him, and to myself is to help us be the best versions of ourselves, what that may be, without changing who we are.
I know not everyone will agree with me in that.
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Get your butt on skype please. :-\
I'm going to bed in a bit, will tommorrow
k. I'll save it for another night.
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Ain't gonna happen, benji. You were born with it, you'll live with it, and then you'll die with it. Acceptance is the best you can hope for. The 'us v them' shit grew old long ago, and it's only those that have a very insecure complex about themselves that keep regurgitating it.Doesn't mate whether you are Aspie, NT, bipolar, PDD-NOS - they are all fucking labels. Above all, we are all PEOPLE, posting on a forum together. And for the most part trying to live our lives the best we can. Doctors may put a dx in a file - doesn't mean you have to brand yourself like cattle with it.
You wouldn't understand unless you had AS.
Bullshit. That's the type of shit you expect from Wankplanet. It's who you are INSIDE that fucking counts, and trying to change who or what you are is only going to fuck you up even more. Look at Soiledarse - did he actually end up any better after his ops? Very doubtful, cos he still ended up the same bitter person after them than he would have been before. If you finally gor your cure, and everything changed for you, would you really be happy? What if things fucked up and you ended up 10 times worse? Accept who you are, and make the most of what you've got. Cos life's to short to be whining about shit you can't change.
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Ain't gonna happen, benji. You were born with it, you'll live with it, and then you'll die with it. Acceptance is the best you can hope for. The 'us v them' shit grew old long ago, and it's only those that have a very insecure complex about themselves that keep regurgitating it.Doesn't mate whether you are Aspie, NT, bipolar, PDD-NOS - they are all fucking labels. Above all, we are all PEOPLE, posting on a forum together. And for the most part trying to live our lives the best we can. Doctors may put a dx in a file - doesn't mean you have to brand yourself like cattle with it.
You wouldn't understand unless you had AS.
Bullshit. That's the type of shit you expect from Wankplanet. It's who you are INSIDE that fucking counts, and trying to change who or what you are is only going to fuck you up even more. Look at Soiledarse - did he actually end up any better after his ops? Very doubtful, cos he still ended up the same bitter person after them than he would have been before. If you finally gor your cure, and everything changed for you, would you really be happy? What if things fucked up and you ended up 10 times worse? Accept who you are, and make the most of what you've got. Cos life's to short to be whining about shit you can't change.
You still don't get it. And i'm not whining about stuff I can't change. And duh, Wrongplanet has a giveaway in the title. We'd be fine if everything was made to suit us, but it isn't and never will be. The feeling of being fucked off with the way things are, comes from autism, getting frustrated with yourself to the point of wanting to stick your head in a fire. You'll never know that feeling truely. So cut the crap
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aspergers IS who we are inside. and yeah you could end up even worse if you took the cure, but look at the figures - they speak for themselves. you're much more likely to be depressed and have other mental problems if you are autistic. you're much less likely to have successful relationships and a career if you are autistic. you are much less likely to have genuine friendships if you are autistic. if i had been born an NT, i bet i would have a better life
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But the same can be said for people who have schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, down syndrome etc. I went over 30 years without a dx. Looking back I had all the signs as a child but it just wasn't something people knew about. Parts of my life were absolute hell because of it and yes, I definitely still struggle. You watched my marriage go down in flames and we've talked a lot while I try and sort my shit out. I'm not saying it's easy but I think the world would suck if we were all the same. Just my piddley two cents worth.
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But the same can be said for people who have schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, down syndrome etc.
exactly. people with downs syndrome would obviously have abetter life if they didnt have it
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But the same can be said for people who have schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, down syndrome etc.
exactly. people with downs syndrome would obviously have abetter life if they didnt have it
You're a nerd. That wasn't what I was trying to say. :laugh: It's about you saying XYZ would be different if you weren't autistic. Same can be said if you had a host of other dx labels. But my thought is it would be a pretty damn boring place if everyone was the same.
What can I say? My Aspie side doesn't like change. ;)
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People are all different, whatever they have. A lot of them just like to follow the crowd or copy, cause they have weak personalities.
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if i didn't have AS though, the chances are things would be different in most, if not all of these ways:
youd get bullied less at school
youd be more independent, live alone
youd have girlfriends, relationships
you wouldn't have other things that come along with AS like social anxiety and depression
obviously some asspies can live alone and have relationships, but it's a lot harder and many of us can't do it at all even in their 20s and 30s
my being a retard might be interestong and entertaining to u cg but i find it shitty :P
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benji
You still don't get it. And i'm not whining about stuff I can't change. And duh, Wrongplanet has a giveaway in the title. We'd be fine if everything was made to suit us, but it isn't and never will be. The feeling of being fucked off with the way things are, comes from autism, getting frustrated with yourself to the point of wanting to stick your head in a fire. You'll never know that feeling truely. So cut the crap
Again, bullshit. It isn't your autism or AS in itself that's making you feel that way. If that were the case, then every autistic person on the planet would be doped up to gills in some fucking mental home because they couldn't hack it. People whine about how shit they are, but the same goes for the average Joe doing his 9 to 5 and playing golf on the weekends. The reason you are feeling shit, is probably because you haven't fully accepted who you are DEEP INSIDE. Some call it searching for yourself; maybe it's what you need to do. Fuck labels and shit, you are who you are.
Soph
aspergers IS who we are inside. and yeah you could end up even worse if you took the cure, but look at the figures - they speak for themselves. you're much more likely to be depressed and have other mental problems if you are autistic. you're much less likely to have successful relationships and a career if you are autistic. you are much less likely to have genuine friendships if you are autistic. if i had been born an NT, i bet i would have a better life
Again, that isn't true. While you have autism or AS as a condition, it's NOT who you are as a person. I don't tend to take much stock in so-called research quoting figures about who people are supposed to be and whatever, that's just a lot of psychobabble there to confuse the issue. You make of your life what you can, and you take whatever is thrown at you and deal with it the best you can. You might be finding it hard now, Soph, but remember - you are only 21. You still have a fucking long life ahead of you. Time to do anything you want. Relationships WILL happen (and if they don't, who really cares?). There are plenty of careers for people, even with AS, out there; so you don't need to feel worried there. The only real problem is the feeling of insecurity that you amy be having in not fulfilling your dreams at the moment. Look at what you HAVE done, though. You are in 3rd year uni, doing a degree that can lead you to a good career, you are good with your forum and other tech stuff, and you are good with your pets. I know of plenty of people who DON'T have AS who would kill to be able to do HALF of that stuff. Be proud with your achievements. And don't get sucked into the belief that being NT would make you a better person, because the person you are is the one we all know and respect.
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if i didn't have AS though, the chances are things would be different in most, if not all of these ways:
youd get bullied less at school
youd be more independent, live alone
youd have girlfriends, relationships
you wouldn't have other things that come along with AS like social anxiety and depression
obviously some asspies can live alone and have relationships, but it's a lot harder and many of us can't do it at all even in their 20s and 30s
my being a retard might be interestong and entertaining to u cg but i find it shitty :P
Since when did I say I found it entertaining? If you think I'm laughing at you, you're wrong. I'm not.
Yes, i've had relationships but I've fucked all of them up. I'm 34 and still figuring my shit out. But I guess for me I don't want to change who I am. I manage my worst symptoms as best I can, all of them through medication because without it I can't function. I'm not saying you have to agree with me, soph. To each their own.
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Soph, you're a lot less fucked up than I was at 21, and I didn't have any idea what the hell was wrong with me.
You've got a lot of years ahead of you, and I see you making positive steps and heading in the right direction to make them very happy years.
You're a smart dude. You're going to be just fine. You'll have struggles, and I think you know that, but you'll make it.
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^ Well said.
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You make of your life what you can, and you take whatever is thrown at you and deal with it the best you can.
yeah and most autistic people can't make much of it no matter what they do
Relationships WILL happen (and if they don't, who really cares?).
me, for one. i would like a proper relationship and it is 99% not gonna happen - mostly because of autism, although granted there is also the looking young, being trans and generally not being very good-looking or charismatic. but without AS, i could get around the problem with my looks and even my gender
I know of plenty of people who DON'T have AS who would kill to be able to do HALF of that stuff.
obviously there are alsoNTs who are failures , but you are even more likely to be a filure if u have autism. my last shrink came up with this shit too - "there are people without autism who can't do some of the things you do - wow omg you should be so proud" :zoinks:
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cg i was joking, i know youre not being a prick
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Oh shit, I forgot about Jennifer.
I guess that tells you guys something. ;)
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Oh shit, I forgot about Jennifer.
I guess that tells you guys something. ;)
that most of us are too fucking dopey to have be having babies lol
it's probably a good thing i can't properly have kids really, as i might be tempted one day if it were that easy. i doubt i'd get through the adoption process though :lol:
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obviously there are alsoNTs who are failures
Yeah, just look at me. Should make you feel better about yourself instantly.
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Oh shit, I forgot about Jennifer.
I guess that tells you guys something. ;)
That we are a bunch of spazzes who can't stay on topic?
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cg i was joking, i know youre not being a prick
Sorry. I was having an aspie moment. The joke clearly went over my head. :lol:
So, is everyone done having a shit fit? Kiss and make up, shall we? :zoinks:
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obviously there are alsoNTs who are failures
Yeah, just look at me. Should make you feel better about yourself instantly.
i got the feeling u were improving your life over the last yera or so? back at college etc
u definitely don't have to be a failure with other stuff either. i mean you could do the whole get married, live in your own place, have a career, family etc. i can see that as something you can do (if u wanted to) i mean. whereas i will be here living with my mum when im 40 lol
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So, is everyone done having a shit fit? Kiss and make up, shall we? :zoinks:
yay group makeout
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cg i was joking, i know youre not being a prick
Sorry. I was having an aspie moment.
my whole life was one big aspie moment
i should get that on my fucking gravestonelol
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cg i was joking, i know youre not being a prick
Sorry. I was having an aspie moment. The joke clearly went over my head. :lol:
So, is everyone done having a shit fit? Kiss and make up, shall we? :zoinks:
Sure. :peace:
Soph: You do know that I was not picking on you, or anyone when I said what I said to you. I think you are one of the coolest people I've come accross on the net, and I think you will really go far with whatever you do. :thumbup:
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Sweet. This solves the whole "I'm not gettin any lovin'" issue that most of us have. :green:
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thanks. i appreciate it. i just disagree lol
if someone gave me a pill and said it would totally cure my AS, i don't think i would take it, as i'd be too scared of what i'd be instead. but i'd definitely be tempted
i reckon it's the fact that so many of us have more than one problem that makes it so shit
like with me, i could deal with the AS shit if i werent trans, and i could deal with the problems from that better if i werent retarded
thats how i see it anyyway
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obviously there are alsoNTs who are failures
Yeah, just look at me. Should make you feel better about yourself instantly.
i got the feeling u were improving your life over the last yera or so? back at college etc
u definitely don't have to be a failure with other stuff either. i mean you could do the whole get married, live in your own place, have a career, family etc. i can see that as something you can do (if u wanted to) i mean. whereas i will be here living with my mum when im 40 lol
I panic when things get too nice and good (in college, with people, whatever) and turn around and smash it all. I don't see why you can't have any of those things yourself though. You just got stuck into thinking that AS means you're fucked for life but look at others on here. They have jobs, their own houses and families. It is possible.
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thanks. i appreciate it. i just disagree lol
if someone gave me a pill and said it would totally cure my AS, i don't think i would take it, as i'd be too scared of what i'd be instead. but i'd definitely be tempted
i reckon it's the fact that so many of us have more than one problem that makes it so shit
like with me, i could deal with the AS shit if i werent trans, and i could deal with the problems from that better if i werent retarded
thats how i see it anyyway
Fair enough.
Weird thing is, I DID actually have similar feeling when i went to High School - got picked on because of my poor eyesight, and was generally a loner. Didn't have my first gf until 19 or 20, and sort of felt out of things alot. So I do know where you are coming from.
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On the flipside, my sister is NT, beautiful, extremely smart and has a helluva lot going for her and she's had one boyfriend which didn't happen until her mid 20's. I guess you just never know which way the dice will roll.
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if someone gave me a pill and said it would totally cure my AS, i don't think i would take it, as i'd be too scared of what i'd be instead. but i'd definitely be tempted
Even after a shit childhood and a lot of struggles in adult life, I still don't want to be cured. I like who I am. I like the way my brain works and how I process things. I enjoy some of the sensory processing abnormalities I have. Is it a lot of work? Yes. Are there some days that seem absolutely unbearable? Of course. But I like who I am. I'd be boring if I wasn't me.
like with me, i could deal with the AS shit if i werent trans, and i could deal with the problems from that better if i werent retarded
If someone gave you a pill and said it would make you not trans, would you take it?
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On the flipside, my sister is NT, beautiful, extremely smart...
Is she your twin sister?
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On the flipside, my sister is NT, beautiful, extremely smart and has a helluva lot going for her and she's had one boyfriend which didn't happen until her mid 20's. I guess you just never know which way the dice will roll.
on the flipside? what am i, ugly and dumb? :thumbup:
i'm not whining or anything, although it sounds like it. i'm just saying, it's v unlikely i will get a normal life. can anyone here SERIOUSLY see me getting a hot gf and living with her? if it was just one of these thigs that was the problem, there'd be a chance. but a transgendered autistic who looks like a 12 yr old and cant talk to women properly at all? sure i could get a gf, but what KIND of gf? yeah :P
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If someone gave you a pill and said it would make you not trans, would you take it?
in what way? a pill that turned me into a girl physically and mentally, or a pill that turned me into a non-trans guy?
i wouldn't take the first, for the same reason i wouldn't take the AS thing as i'd be a totally different person and dunno how that would go.
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I guess I don't really know much about the trans stuff. I try to understand what you are going through but I don't know if I can.
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On the flipside, my sister is NT, beautiful, extremely smart...
Is she your twin sister?
Ha. No, she's 10 years younger and we look nothing alike. I'm 5'9", short blonde hair. She's 5'5", long dark brown hair. She excels in history and languages, I'm business and theatre. We're both musically inclined (she's a celtic harpist, I play 6 instruments) but we're both very sarcastic and witty. In the end, we balance each other out. ;)
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On the flipside, my sister is NT, beautiful, extremely smart and has a helluva lot going for her and she's had one boyfriend which didn't happen until her mid 20's. I guess you just never know which way the dice will roll.
on the flipside? what am i, ugly and dumb? :thumbup:
i'm not whining or anything, although it sounds like it. i'm just saying, it's v unlikely i will get a normal life. can anyone here SERIOUSLY see me getting a hot gf and living with her? if it was just one of these thigs that was the problem, there'd be a chance. but a transgendered autistic who looks like a 12 yr old and cant talk to women properly at all? sure i could get a gf, but what KIND of gf? yeah :P
You took that 12 year old comment way to heart :laugh:
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I play 6 instruments
Did I mention you're awesome? :o
Is any of them by any chance a ukulele? :zoinks:
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Ha. No, she's 10 years younger and we look nothing alike. I'm 5'9", short blonde hair. She's 5'5", long dark brown hair. She excels in history and languages, I'm business and theatre. We're both musically inclined (she's a celtic harpist, I play 6 instruments) but we're both very sarcastic and witty. In the end, we balance each other out. ;)
Is she on the spectrum as well?
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On the flipside, my sister is NT, beautiful, extremely smart and has a helluva lot going for her and she's had one boyfriend which didn't happen until her mid 20's. I guess you just never know which way the dice will roll.
on the flipside? what am i, ugly and dumb? :thumbup:
i'm not whining or anything, although it sounds like it. i'm just saying, it's v unlikely i will get a normal life. can anyone here SERIOUSLY see me getting a hot gf and living with her? if it was just one of these thigs that was the problem, there'd be a chance. but a transgendered autistic who looks like a 12 yr old and cant talk to women properly at all? sure i could get a gf, but what KIND of gf? yeah :P
You took that 12 year old comment way to heart :laugh:
yeah never gonna forgive that PMSElle :hitler:
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I play 6 instruments
Did I mention you're awesome? :o
Is any of them by any chance a ukulele? :zoinks:
No, but that would be totally awesome to play. :laugh:
I need to pick up guitar. It's the only one I swoon over that I don't actually play. Singing is still my fav.
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Ha. No, she's 10 years younger and we look nothing alike. I'm 5'9", short blonde hair. She's 5'5", long dark brown hair. She excels in history and languages, I'm business and theatre. We're both musically inclined (she's a celtic harpist, I play 6 instruments) but we're both very sarcastic and witty. In the end, we balance each other out. ;)
Is she on the spectrum as well?
No. She's NT.
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I play 6 instruments
Did I mention you're awesome? :o
Is any of them by any chance a ukulele? :zoinks:
No, but that would be totally awesome to play. :laugh:
I need to pick up guitar. It's the only one I swoon over that I don't actually play. Singing is still my fav.
I too wish I could play guitar but my mum's a meanie and won't even get me a ukulele, despite getting my younger sister a guitar :thumbdn: Actually just any instrument would be okay now, everyone should be able to have the ability to make music. However shitty or not it may end up sounding :lol:
What instruments do you play?
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how about the skin flute :zoinks:
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yeah never gonna forgive that PMSElle :hitler:
That man-hating feminazi!
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we're all in this together, once we know, that we are, we're all stars and we see that
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I play 6 instruments
Did I mention you're awesome? :o
Is any of them by any chance a ukulele? :zoinks:
No, but that would be totally awesome to play. :laugh:
I need to pick up guitar. It's the only one I swoon over that I don't actually play. Singing is still my fav.
I too wish I could play guitar but my mum's a meanie and won't even get me a ukulele, despite getting my younger sister a guitar :thumbdn: Actually just any instrument would be okay now, everyone should be able to have the ability to make music. However shitty or not it may end up sounding :lol:
What instruments do you play?
Piano, organ, autoharp, viola, violin, flute. Everything is kind of dorky, but the piano. :laugh:
Singing is what used to get me by. I want to get back into it (jazz and musical theatre) but I can't do the time committment for gigs/performances right now.
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we're all in this together, once we know, that we are, we're all stars and we see that
:asthing:
(I sang that as I read it :laugh: )
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how about the skin flute :zoinks:
I'm quite talented. I could make you sing. :orly:
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we're all in this together, once we know, that we are, we're all stars and we see that
"Keep your stick on the ice. Remember, we're all in this together. I'm pullin' for ya."
(http://www.cbc.ca/programguide/images/program/t/the_red_green_show.jpg)
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say it aint so, i will not go, turn the lights off, carry me home
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na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
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The Red Green show!!!!!! :thumbup:
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girls
dont
like
boys
girls
like
cars and money!!!!!
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I play 6 instruments
Did I mention you're awesome? :o
Is any of them by any chance a ukulele? :zoinks:
No, but that would be totally awesome to play. :laugh:
I need to pick up guitar. It's the only one I swoon over that I don't actually play. Singing is still my fav.
I too wish I could play guitar but my mum's a meanie and won't even get me a ukulele, despite getting my younger sister a guitar :thumbdn: Actually just any instrument would be okay now, everyone should be able to have the ability to make music. However shitty or not it may end up sounding :lol:
What instruments do you play?
Piano, organ, autoharp, viola, violin, flute. Everything is kind of dorky, but the piano. :laugh:
Singing is what used to get me by. I want to get back into it (jazz and musical theatre) but I can't do the time committment for gigs/performances right now.
Dorky is awesome :thumbup:
I had a bit of a theatre obsession once (even planned to go into directing for a while) but I think actual work at one cured me somewhat :laugh: Although I still miss that enviroment. What musicals were you in? :P
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he was a sk8r boy she said cu l8r boy he wasnt good enough for her
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Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad
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i believe in a think called looooooooooooooove oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
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Na na na na-na-na na-na-na Hey Jude!
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holy shit did we spaz up this thread or what :autism:
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Yeah yeah yeah!
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its times like these u learn to live again
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Sugar
ah honey honey
you are my candy girl
and you've got me wanting you.....
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And I'm thinkin', lights are blinding my eyes
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We now take a break from random postings to watch a cute kitten play.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJC_uP2LxE8&feature=rec-HM-fresh+div
We now return you to your regularly scheduled spastics.
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2 trailer park girls go round the outside round the outside round the outside
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I play 6 instruments
Did I mention you're awesome? :o
Is any of them by any chance a ukulele? :zoinks:
No, but that would be totally awesome to play. :laugh:
I need to pick up guitar. It's the only one I swoon over that I don't actually play. Singing is still my fav.
I too wish I could play guitar but my mum's a meanie and won't even get me a ukulele, despite getting my younger sister a guitar :thumbdn: Actually just any instrument would be okay now, everyone should be able to have the ability to make music. However shitty or not it may end up sounding :lol:
What instruments do you play?
Piano, organ, autoharp, viola, violin, flute. Everything is kind of dorky, but the piano. :laugh:
Singing is what used to get me by. I want to get back into it (jazz and musical theatre) but I can't do the time committment for gigs/performances right now.
Dorky is awesome :thumbup:
I had a bit of a theatre obsession once (even planned to go into directing for a while) but I think actual work at one cured me somewhat :laugh: Although I still miss that enviroment. What musicals were you in? :P
I worked at one too. Front Office and Stage Manager. :P
Musicals: Guys and Dolls, Anything Goes, Man of La Mancha, Godspell, How To Succeed In Business Without Even Trying, Boys From Syracuse, Into The Woods etc.
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Ha. Nerd that I am, I actually brought the damn thing back on track. Got sidetraceked talkin to my cat and missed everything in between. :green:
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i'm not whining or anything, although it sounds like it. i'm just saying, it's v unlikely i will get a normal life. can anyone here SERIOUSLY see me getting a hot gf and living with her? if it was just one of these thigs that was the problem, there'd be a chance. but a transgendered autistic who looks like a 12 yr old and cant talk to women properly at all? sure i could get a gf, but what KIND of gf? yeah :P
It sounds like you want everything right now. What is a normal life? You will get someone, you just have to WAIT and live your life and try and improve it until then.
Wait for a girl you genuinely like, not someone that you think you can't get.
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I'm already 21 though. how many 21 yr olds have never even had a gf yet? iif i wait till I'm 30 then who is gonna want someone at the age of 30 who's still stuck where i am? :P
i do genuinely like people, just they're always the ones that are outta my league
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What does out of your league mean?
You may have heard this before but being happy with yourself frees up time for you to be happy with someone else as well.
Tbh I wonder why you seem to be in such a rush. Have you plans for anything else while you are waiting?
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I'm already 21 though. how many 21 yr olds have never even had a gf yet? iif i wait till I'm 30 then who is gonna want someone at the age of 30 who's still stuck where i am? :P
i do genuinely like people, just they're always the ones that are outta my league
FYI, I was 22 when I met renaeden in person. She was 28. I've known of people who meet when they're 40, or even 50. Age doesn't matter.
Waiting is not the answer. If you wait you go nowhere. You need to live you life as renaeden said. Start living, doing something, something you enjoy. Enjoy the relationships that come and go. If you're waiting you won't be doing anything, you won't be meeting new people.
But it's no guarantee that you will ever find someone. You need to accept that. You may never find someone to be with.
No one is out of your league. There are no leagues. That's just dating bullshit. Ignore it. If you like someone try to make friends. And work from there. If they're not interest that's their loss.
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I'm already 21 though. how many 21 yr olds have never even had a gf yet? iif i wait till I'm 30 then who is gonna want someone at the age of 30 who's still stuck where i am? :P
i do genuinely like people, just they're always the ones that are outta my league
Think of it this way. How many people go out and get a Ferrari as their first or second car? Dating should be like that. You don't always start out with what you want, but you need a few to practice on.
A lot of aspies fuck up their first relationships in a major way, we just have no idea and do some pretty stupid shit. Get that out of the way before you meet that person who is the one for you.
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^Yes. I feel like :paperbag: about some of the stuff I did in my first relationship.
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i hadn't thought of that. probably should have, as if someone's gonna fuck up a relationship, it's gonna be me :laugh:
What does out of your league mean?
You may have heard this before but being happy with yourself frees up time for you to be happy with someone else as well.
Tbh I wonder why you seem to be in such a rush. Have you plans for anything else while you are waiting?
i mean out of my league as in i only like girls who are super super hot and NT. those kinda girls are never into geeky awkward aspie guys
i'm not in a rush exactly, just that i'm 21 now and have never had a gf in my life. i like girls, so i want one. like with anything i like i guess. i mean most people have had at least one relationship by the time they get to my age.
also i still don't know what i'm doing when i leave uni. and that's next year. university is my best opportunity for meeting someone. after that, i might not be able to again
how the fuck did this thread get onto my failure of a life? :beer:
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how the fuck did this thread get onto my failure of a life? :beer:
It's not a failure. You have to work at it for it to be a failure. At the moment it's more latent potential ;)
I'm not sure that's worded correctly...
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i guess i need to try harder then
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i guess i need to try harder then
Or don't try as hard... ;) Don't need to try, just do your thing. Be you. You're pretty cool and awesome as you are no need changing it, in my opinion.
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i guess i need to try harder then
Or don't try as hard... ;) Don't need to try, just do your thing. Be you. You're pretty cool and awesome as you are no need changing it, in my opinion.
I agree. The times I've come across cool people I ended up dating were the times I wasn't looking. I was focusing on myself, doing things I enjoyed, wasn't looking for anyone and then it just sort of happened. For me, all of my relationships started off as friendships first. The times I got lonely and went looking, it never happened. Damnit. I was lonely too. Woulda been nice. :P ;)
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The times I've come across cool people I ended up dating were the times I wasn't looking. I was focusing on myself, doing things I enjoyed, wasn't looking for anyone and then it just sort of happened. For me, all of my relationships started off as friendships first. The times I got lonely and went looking, it never happened. Damnit. I was lonely too. Woulda been nice. :P ;)
Yeah! I didn't know if it was just me and renaeden, but we weren't looking for a relationship when we met...We'd both sorta given up and moved on to more interesting things ;)
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I wasn't looking for a relationship when I met my wife. But that was a conscious decision at the time in an attempt to make myself more attractive by not being desperate.
Guess it worked.
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everyone says that :P
but i've been "not looking" for ages and now here i am and bored of it
women don't like me whether i'm looking or not :facepalm2:
i need some way of getting one :fish:
maybe i should take up smoking
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Absolutely not! No smoking for you mister! *she says in her Mum voice*
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The times I've come across cool people I ended up dating were the times I wasn't looking. I was focusing on myself, doing things I enjoyed, wasn't looking for anyone and then it just sort of happened. For me, all of my relationships started off as friendships first. The times I got lonely and went looking, it never happened. Damnit. I was lonely too. Woulda been nice. :P ;)
Yeah! I didn't know if it was just me and renaeden, but we weren't looking for a relationship when we met...We'd both sorta given up and moved on to more interesting things ;)
I need to remember my own advice. :P I keep saying i'm not ready for a relationship yet but if the right guy came along, I wouldn't turn him down.
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a lot of cute girls smoke though
and it gives you an excuse just to hang around and talk to them
how else do you talk to women?
kidnap them?
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My rule of thumb is to try not to do anything that will give you cancer or a criminal record.
I think you need to join a special interest group. We talked about this over the summer. See what's happening on campus that you enjoy and join a group. Or spend more time in the library. You can chat up girls there too.
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i'm going to an autism thing for retards on friday
i don't want a retarded girlfriend though
(no offense, fellow asspies)
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But here's the thing, you've already written someone off before you've even met them. There are some people who are so high functioning that their aspie dx is barely a blip on the radar. Stop limiting yourself. Just go, try to enjoy yourself, and report back here, stat. 8)
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A lovely NT girl is just going to end up breaking your heart.
a tarded AS girl would be more willing to put up with your tarded shit. ;D
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A lovely NT girl is just going to end up breaking your heart.
a tarded AS girl would be more willing to put up with your tarded shit. ;D
And that is our local PSA for today, folks. You heard it here first, on I2. Now back to your regularly scheduled program. :lol:
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A lovely NT girl is just going to end up breaking your heart.
a tarded AS girl would be more willing to put up with your tarded shit. ;D
And that is our local PSA for today, folks. You heard it here first, on I2. Now back to your regularly scheduled program. :lol:
Fuck, that's 2 in 1 week form me. :chin:
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i know i know, and it's sad :(
i think i deserve at least one lovely NT girl though, even if she does break my heart
then maybe i'll settle for the spazz
from what i see with aspies though, we generally come in two types:
the ones that realise they're different and react by becoming more withdrawn and are usually very quiet, nervous, anxiety-ridden and depressive
then the ones that just don't even seem to realise/care that they're different, talk a lot and come across as extremely spazzy
the first type would be fine, except that that is the type i am, and i don't think it would work, me being with someone equally scared and cowardly... i want a hot NT girl who won't be as quiet and creepy as i am
but do any hot NT women like creepy aspie guys?
nope :-[
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if i didn't have AS though, the chances are things would be different in most, if not all of these ways:
youd get bullied less at school
youd be more independent, live alone
youd have girlfriends, relationships
you wouldn't have other things that come along with AS like social anxiety and depression
obviously some asspies can live alone and have relationships, but it's a lot harder and many of us can't do it at all even in their 20s and 30s
my being a retard might be interestong and entertaining to u cg but i find it shitty :P
You aren't retarded, I have known people who are actually retarded, they do things like primary school maths and English in adult education. You on the other hand are an university student and you need to have some intelligence to do university study. Some of my friends cant do university education, because they aren't intelligent enough.
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Then learn to like something else.
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A lovely NT girl is just going to end up breaking your heart.
a tarded AS girl would be more willing to put up with your tarded shit. ;D
And that is our local PSA for today, folks. You heard it here first, on I2. Now back to your regularly scheduled program. :lol:
Fuck, that's 2 in 1 week form me. :chin:
Yeah right after I hit post I thought, shit. I think I used that line on him earlier.
Damn. I need some new material. :laugh:
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benji
You still don't get it. And i'm not whining about stuff I can't change. And duh, Wrongplanet has a giveaway in the title. We'd be fine if everything was made to suit us, but it isn't and never will be. The feeling of being fucked off with the way things are, comes from autism, getting frustrated with yourself to the point of wanting to stick your head in a fire. You'll never know that feeling truely. So cut the crap
Again, bullshit. It isn't your autism or AS in itself that's making you feel that way. If that were the case, then every autistic person on the planet would be doped up to gills in some fucking mental home because they couldn't hack it. People whine about how shit they are, but the same goes for the average Joe doing his 9 to 5 and playing golf on the weekends. The reason you are feeling shit, is probably because you haven't fully accepted who you are DEEP INSIDE. Some call it searching for yourself; maybe it's what you need to do. Fuck labels and shit, you are who you are.
Soph
aspergers IS who we are inside. and yeah you could end up even worse if you took the cure, but look at the figures - they speak for themselves. you're much more likely to be depressed and have other mental problems if you are autistic. you're much less likely to have successful relationships and a career if you are autistic. you are much less likely to have genuine friendships if you are autistic. if i had been born an NT, i bet i would have a better life
Again, that isn't true. While you have autism or AS as a condition, it's NOT who you are as a person. I don't tend to take much stock in so-called research quoting figures about who people are supposed to be and whatever, that's just a lot of psychobabble there to confuse the issue. You make of your life what you can, and you take whatever is thrown at you and deal with it the best you can. You might be finding it hard now, Soph, but remember - you are only 21. You still have a fucking long life ahead of you. Time to do anything you want. Relationships WILL happen (and if they don't, who really cares?). There are plenty of careers for people, even with AS, out there; so you don't need to feel worried there. The only real problem is the feeling of insecurity that you amy be having in not fulfilling your dreams at the moment. Look at what you HAVE done, though. You are in 3rd year uni, doing a degree that can lead you to a good career, you are good with your forum and other tech stuff, and you are good with your pets. I know of plenty of people who DON'T have AS who would kill to be able to do HALF of that stuff. Be proud with your achievements. And don't get sucked into the belief that being NT would make you a better person, because the person you are is the one we all know and respect.
Yeah, all of us are different and have different ways of dealing with it. Plus the damage done by drugs, just makes any of the symptoms of autism worse. I know who I am deep inside, and I have aacepted it, I don't like it, i'm fine most of the time, but then I get fed up with being the way I am. Anyway, you don't have to understand, and stop making out you know best.
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i know i know, and it's sad :(
i think i deserve at least one lovely NT girl though, even if she does break my heart
then maybe i'll settle for the spazz
from what i see with aspies though, we generally come in two types:
the ones that realise they're different and react by becoming more withdrawn and are usually very quiet, nervous, anxiety-ridden and depressive
then the ones that just don't even seem to realise/care that they're different, talk a lot and come across as extremely spazzy
the first type would be fine, except that that is the type i am, and i don't think it would work, me being with someone equally scared and cowardly... i want a hot NT girl who won't be as quiet and creepy as i am
but do any hot NT women like creepy aspie guys?
nope :-[
OK, so if you think that the quiet nervous type is wrong for you which I'm not even sure I agree with, then what is wrong with someone who's a little talkative and spazzy?
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because talkative aspies are just that: people who make it obvious they're weird
did u watch the bbc program hadron linked to the other week? The Autistic Me?
i'm like the blonde kid - quiet and depressed and weird but in a withdrawn way. the other two are the talkative ones, which are even more cringeworthy. i want a girl who's either normal, or fucked up but not in social ways. like marla singer. i could have a fucked up gf like her. godforbid i ever end up with an aspie though
no offense, i am a spazz too
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Soph: you told me to be myself, and tto stop trying too hard. Now it's time for you to do the same. You give fucking good advice, and you need to put to use that same advice on yourself. So just be yourself, like you told me, and don't worry anbout anyone else. :thumbup:
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yeh but dude you're getting married. i need a gf :P
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i need a gf :P
No you don't. You need to believe that you don't need a girlfriend.
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My rule of thumb is to try not to do anything that will give you cancer or a criminal record.
killjoy.
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No you don't. You need to believe that you don't need a girlfriend.
Are you doing some kind of Jedi mind trick?
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No you don't. You need to believe that you don't need a girlfriend.
Are you doing some kind of Jedi mind trick?
When 900 years you reach look as good will you not?
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My rule of thumb is to try not to do anything that will give you cancer or a criminal record.
killjoy.
I know. I know. And the women in my family live a very long life (close to 100) so I've got lots of years to try and make some fun without getting cancer or a criminal record.
And now I've probably jinxed myself and I'll end up dying of cancer in jail before i'm 50. Le sigh. :P
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ok obviously i don't literally need a gf. but i want one :P
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ok obviously i don't literally need a gf. but i want one :P
Why?
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because i like girls soi want one
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because i like girls soi want one
Orientation isn't relevant. I mean why do you want a girlfriend/partner? Just wanting something isn't enough... You need to why you want it.
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a lot of cute girls smoke though
and it gives you an excuse just to hang around and talk to them
how else do you talk to women?
kidnap them?
Be more chatty in general, for one thing.
Think of it this way. How many people go out and get a Ferrari as their first or second car? Dating should be like that. You don't always start out with what you want, but you need a few to practice on.
A lot of aspies fuck up their first relationships in a major way, we just have no idea and do some pretty stupid shit. Get that out of the way before you mean that person who is the one for you.
Lol, :plus: Genius way to put it.
I agree. The times I've come across cool people I ended up dating were the times I wasn't looking. I was focusing on myself, doing things I enjoyed, wasn't looking for anyone and then it just sort of happened. For me, all of my relationships started off as friendships first. The times I got lonely and went looking, it never happened. Damnit. I was lonely too. Woulda been nice. :P ;)
The best relationships I've been in started as friendships first. Then again some of the male friends I have right now I met because I was actively looking to date, realized I didn't want to date them, but liked them platonically.
I'd say actively seeking to date isn't necessarily a bad thing- then again, I'm sort of a goal-setting person- but I'd also say if you don't like yourself, you will be seeting youself up to have a bad relationship. You can love others without loving yourself, but you probably shouldn't, at least not romantcially.
i know i know, and it's sad :(
i think i deserve at least one lovely NT girl though, even if she does break my heart
then maybe i'll settle for the spazz
from what i see with aspies though, we generally come in two types:
the ones that realise they're different and react by becoming more withdrawn and are usually very quiet, nervous, anxiety-ridden and depressive
then the ones that just don't even seem to realise/care that they're different, talk a lot and come across as extremely spazzy
the first type would be fine, except that that is the type i am, and i don't think it would work, me being with someone equally scared and cowardly... i want a hot NT girl who won't be as quiet and creepy as i am
but do any hot NT women like creepy aspie guys?
nope :-[
They do if they don't know they're hot. Go for the ones with self-esteem as bad as yours! :thumbup:
ok obviously i don't literally need a gf. but i want one :P
Do you actually want a relationship, or do you want to hit a milestone that you think would mark you as more "normal" than you are now?
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Soph - And your answer is not allowed to be because I need someone to cook for me, do my laundry, and I wanna get laid. ;)
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ok obviously i don't literally need a gf. but i want one :P
Do you actually want a relationship, or do you want to hit a milestone that you think would mark you as more "normal" than you are now?
Ahhh....excellent question. 8)
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Soph - And your answer is not allowed to be because I need someone to cook for me, do my laundry, and I wanna get laid. ;)
Or any other version of "I want a mother figure that I can screw."
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Soph - And your answer is not allowed to be because I need someone to cook for me, do my laundry, and I wanna get laid. ;)
Or any other version of "I want a mother figure that I can screw."
And yet...so many men fall into that trap :P
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Or any other version of "I want a mother figure that I can screw."
ewwwwwww creepy
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because i like girls soi want one
Orientation isn't relevant. I mean why do you want a girlfriend/partner? Just wanting something isn't enough... You need to why you want it.
it is relevant coz that's why i want one. i like it so i want it. coz i'm selfish. like i like cats so i have a cat. if i didn't have a cat i'd want one
They do if they don't know they're hot. Go for the ones with self-esteem as bad as yours! :thumbup:
i would if i could find oen - the nice ones always know they're hot though :P
Do you actually want a relationship, or do you want to hit a milestone that you think would mark you as more "normal" than you are now?
i do actually want a relationship, although i'm not gonna lie - the normal thing is also becoming more important.
Soph - And your answer is not allowed to be because I need someone to cook for me, do my laundry, and I wanna get laid. ;)
that is what i want to have in 10 years time, right now i can make do without the first two :P
btw i do realise how dumb it seems to want a relationship - i used to think the guys who moaned about not having a gf on wp were retarded. but they seem to be the ones that just want A gf, and don't really care much as long as it's a girl. i on the other hand, am more fussy than i can afford to be lol
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because i like girls soi want one
Orientation isn't relevant. I mean why do you want a girlfriend/partner? Just wanting something isn't enough... You need to why you want it.
it is relevant coz that's why i want one. i like it so i want it. coz i'm selfish. like i like cats so i have a cat. if i didn't have a cat i'd want one
You misunderstand. I may not have explain it properly (or at all :P ), orientation isn't relevant because it doesn't matter. When you say "I want a gf" that means the same as "I want a bf", at least to me, it doesn't matter the gender, the wanting is the crux.
You say you want a girlfriend cos you like it, but why? Why do you like it? When I sought relationships I did it because I was lonely, and I wanted to share my life with someone. I'm someone who likes to share what I do, I get enjoyment from others' enjoyment of what I enjoy...if that makes sense.
So why do you seek a relationship? If it's just for self-gratification (which can include sex) well that's something, and you'd be the better for the knowing what it is you seek.
They do if they don't know they're hot. Go for the ones with self-esteem as bad as yours! :thumbup:
i would if i could find oen - the nice ones always know they're hot though :P
In my experience the one's that know they're hot rarely are nice. But my experience is limited.
Do you actually want a relationship, or do you want to hit a milestone that you think would mark you as more "normal" than you are now?
i do actually want a relationship, although i'm not gonna lie - the normal thing is also becoming more important.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news...And possible hurtful bad news. But you'll never be normal. As I understand it, you're autistic, you're trans or at least genderqueer, and from a purely physical point of view you're attracted to the same sex.
Accept your "abnormality", embrace it, make it part of who you are. You don't need to be normal to live an awesome life. You don't need to be normal to live a normal life.
I think the "weird" Soph is far better, far more interesting, than any "normal" Soph could be. And being interesting does tend to attract people... If even for sometimes the wrong reasons ;)
Soph - And your answer is not allowed to be because I need someone to cook for me, do my laundry, and I wanna get laid. ;)
that is what i want to have in 10 years time, right now i can make do without the first two :P
btw i do realise how dumb it seems to want a relationship - i used to think the guys who moaned about not having a gf on wp were retarded. but they seem to be the ones that just want A gf, and don't really care much as long as it's a girl. i on the other hand, am more fussy than i can afford to be lol
It's not dumb. Not at all! It's...well it's normal really. Everyone craves closeness of another. To share oneself with someone else, someone you can be close to, and equally share in them. This is normal stuff.
Fussiness is subjective. ;)
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btw i do realise how dumb it seems to want a relationship - i used to think the guys who moaned about not having a gf on wp were retarded. but they seem to be the ones that just want A gf, and don't really care much as long as it's a girl. i on the other hand, am more fussy than i can afford to be lol
To me, it doesn't seem dumb at all to want a relationship, but I wonder if the "fussiness" may be just a smokescreen to mask the fear of actually sharing your life with someone and getting hurt again like you did with Sophie? If you set goals that to you seem unattainable, then by definition you can't attain them, so you long for them without actually doing anything to reach them. Do you see what I mean?
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yeah that makes sense actually... i think i do just genuinely like women i can't have, physically. maybe for personality i am subconsciously setting unattainable goals though. after sophie died i went a bit crazy for maybe half a year i think, and i didn't like anyone girls at all (i had liked a girl at uni but i literally stopped liking her the week sophie died - i remember it well coz she quit that week, and usually i would have been really upset about that, but barely noticed for obvious reasons). and ever since i was a teenager i've always liked SOMEONE. so that was the first time i've ever been a period of time literally not being interested in anyone at all. now i am again, maybe something has changed? also me and milla had a "relationship" last summer. maybe having an online thing again made me want a gf IRL. i haven't given it much thought really. some days i don't give a shit, other days i do. maybe i just want a fuckable friend. i get bored of people i'm not physically attracted to (yes that is bad but at least i admit it lol), but do want someone i can do stuff with and talk to or whatever. friendships IRL are shit for me though, as it's too much effort that i get exhausted and can't maintain them. maybe deep down i just want to make some friend, but only a hot one i can also sleep with (so wouldn;t that be a gf?)
there's my rambly thoguhts on this shit
again, how the hell did we all get onto talking about my lack of a gf? :P
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Soph, by the time you are content with who you are, you are going to be extremely attractive.
You've got all it takes. Except the trust in who you are.
Being picky is not bad, just don't be picky on general things like neurotype, be picky when it comes to the person as a whole.
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i wouldn't refuse to be with someone just coz i found out she was also AS or something, just to clarify :laugh:
it's just that the kind of girls i like don't seem very autistic at all. i can't see myself ending up liking an aspie.
having said that, there have been AS girls i've had "online" stuff with
at uni all the girls i like seem too cool though :P
this is why i need to get rich :zoinks:
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;D
A friend of mine, long ago, was a teacher in a secondary school. The boys asked him about his girlfriend, he did not have one. Then they asked him about his car, he said he had a bicycle. So they said him, "Sir, ::) that way you'll never get a girlfriend".
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Pah! Bikes are awesome.
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And he was hot. ;D
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i want an audi
well i want a ferrari, but if i can one day get an audi and a hot gf who's devoted to me, likes cats, and ideally can do the cooking/cleaning stuff (although this isn't 100% necessary) i'll settle for that :P
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Pah! Bikes are awesome.
Not too practical when there's two feet of snow on the ground, though.
i want an audi
well i want a ferrari, but if i can one day get an audi and a hot gf who's devoted to me, likes cats, and ideally can do the cooking/cleaning stuff (although this isn't 100% necessary) i'll settle for that :P
Audis are fantastic cars. They are expensive to maintain though, so be sure to factor for that.
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And he was hot. ;D
Even better :orly:
i want an audi
well i want a ferrari, but if i can one day get an audi and a hot gf who's devoted to me, likes cats, and ideally can do the cooking/cleaning stuff (although this isn't 100% necessary) i'll settle for that :P
Blachary are :thumbdn:
(http://i2.pinger.pl/pgr167/e409927c001f60f64ab7d508/0166883575hx3.jpg)
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what are blacharies?
i will probably never be able to afford an audi. a guy who lives near me and must have OCD has one and he's obsessive about it, out cleaning it in the dark and rain, parking it far awar from his house and sweeping the street (the street!) around it, breathing on it, standing back to get a better view, putting blankets in the doors etc.
petrol just for the car we have now is a lot. £20 a week atm for my uni, whe the other car was about half that
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Pah! Bikes are awesome.
Not too practical when there's two feet of snow on the ground, though.
Thankfully London doesn't have that problem :P
what are blacharies?
i will probably never be able to afford an audi. a guy who lives near me and must have OCD has one and it's really nice.
Polish term for car sluts, who only go for men with expensive cars
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is there a name for ones who only go for guys with no social skills but nice hats :zoinks:
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Głupie pipy :zoinks:
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petrol just for the car we have now is a lot. £20 a week atm for my uni, whe the other car was about half that
The actual cost of the fuel itself from country to country are actually about the same. The reason for the disparity in pricing at the pump is because of the taxes added by the individual countries. You pay more tax on the fuel there, but we have to pay higher road tax, registration tax, etc.
So really it ends up being about the same.
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Don't know if there is a name for girls like that,
There is this fairytale like story though.
And the man does not have a car. :green:
http://www.amazon.com/Three-Hat-Reading-Rainbow-Book/dp/0064431576
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well if R. R. Pottle the Third can find one then so can the sophster
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I can't imagine not having a car.
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I had cars and did not use them. (Even an Audi :P )
I don't miss the thing at all.
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can i have it?
what was it? the audi i mean
i like the one the OCD guy has. i also like his cat (little black fluffy thing with the pink collar, i have posted pixof her before)
perhaps i could get 'em both
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The Audi had a massive heart attack, one day before it needed to be checked (mechanics words). So, it has gone through the shredder. Was a nice Audi 80 though. Solid feel, even when it was about 20 years old.
Great car to look at when the neighbouring cat slept on the hood.
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I can't imagine not having a car.
After having a truck for years I can't imagine just having a car
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Soph - And your answer is not allowed to be because I need someone to cook for me, do my laundry, and I wanna get laid. ;)
Or any other version of "I want a mother figure that I can screw."
And yet...so many women fall into that trap :P
Fixed. :laugh: And believe me, it's a shitty trap to find yourself caught in.
;D
A friend of mine, long ago, was a teacher in a secondary school. The boys asked him about his girlfriend, he did not have one. Then they asked him about his car, he said he had a bicycle. So they said him, "Sir, ::) that way you'll never get a girlfriend".
:plus:
i want an audi
well i want a ferrari, but if i can one day get an audi and a hot gf who's devoted to me, likes cats, and ideally can do the cooking/cleaning stuff (although this isn't 100% necessary) i'll settle for that :P
Audis are fantastic cars. They are expensive to maintain though, so be sure to factor for that.
I got to drive one for a few days over the summer when my car was borked. DAMN, that thing had PEP!
I can't imagine not having a car.
:agreed: Though I live someplace where I have to have one, and right now my school/career entails a LOT of driving.