INTENSITY²
Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: WolFish on October 29, 2008, 04:39:38 PM
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Ah, no more living in Jack's shadow. Please feel free to whack me with negative karma if you feel l deserve it. That was me using Jack's account in the anti-philosophy thread.
The issues are real and so am I. But you be the judge of that.
Wolf
PS - I am just finishing the conversion of the Nlands board to another software - SMF (now where did I get *that* idea?) and I will let you know when its done so you can go and drool over it (or piss on it, whatever your pleasure :P)
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English please.
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Damnit! I'm supposed to do this in introductions. Sorry.
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damnit! i broke it. luckily the old one wasn't affected.
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WOOOHOOO :asthing: :clap:
I fixed it and it works! Neurolands is now officially moved to a safer place: http://forum.neurolands.com/smf - and i only broke it twice doing it, and i fixed it all on the same day.
Hot diggity! Maybe I *am* smarter than Jack. Smart as? Oh, fuck, its all the same brain.
Nonetheless, :headbang2:
I'm gonna get us some cool smileys next....
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Who the fuck are you? And what the fuck are you going on about?
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I the fuck am Wolf, the new admin of Neurolands, a ghost town of an asper site just outside the middle of nowhere.
I was posting for the benefit oops the fuck for the benefit of the folks here who know me as Wolf there (and if you're old enough, here).
That is what the fuck I am going on about.
Have I the fuck answered your question?
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*sniffs, walks around in a circle, sniffs again, considers whether to lift tail or leg*
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Hello welcome I'll check out nlands
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Hello. So you are Neuroman. I guess that means you are Pyraxis's boyfriend, though you claim to have multiple personalities.
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*sniffs, walks around in a circle, sniffs again, considers whether to lift tail or leg*
sniff sniff, circling as well...
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Hello. So you are Neuroman. I guess that means you are Pyraxis's boyfriend, though you claim to have multiple personalities.
And they don't all get along with me. Life is complicated. :laugh: :P
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Would that be a polyamorous relationship, then? :-\
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Hello. So you are Neuroman. I guess that means you are Pyraxis's boyfriend, though you claim to have multiple personalities.
And they don't all get along with me. Life is complicated. :laugh: :P
But at least it's not boring. :laugh:
Welcome.
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Would that be a polyamorous relationship, then? :-\
Yeah, pretty much, complete with conflicting schedules and the occasional fit of jealousy. :hahaha:
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But at least it's not boring. :laugh:
Amen sister! :headbang2:
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Would that be a polyamorous relationship, then? :-\
Yeah, pretty much, complete with conflicting schedules and the occasional fit of jealousy. :hahaha:
Hey! I'm allowed to be jealous. I didn't agree to the polyamory thing.
Only with other guys.
Oh wait....
Damn.
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So, how does this thing work? I'm assuming that you're one at a time?!
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To tell you the truth, i am more in favor of calling them modes, except now that i am in a relationship with someone who actually pays attention, i am told that i am not remembering things i said, did, heard in other modes. most frustrating. i did not start calling myself a multiple until a woman involved with jack accused him of having other people inside him. at that point we reluctantly re-considered the possibility. we had considered it years before but discarded it as we had only a few instances of memory lapse.
i have a theory that everyone has modes and that due to things like extreme stress, the modes can become more fragmented. i think this happened when we lost a job and could not figure out what was going wrong and couldn't fix it, even after asking.
but yes, mostly one at a time. sometimes i can watch , but there is only one mode i can do that with. there is another mode that sometimes influences me - not quite sure how that works.
most of my life i called them modes and when we talked i would tell people who overheard that i was talking to myself.
i am still figuring out how it works.
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Wow, a real crazy right in our midst!
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you shouldn't talk about yourself that way....
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most fascinating i'd say :P multiple personalities are really interesting. one disorder i do not have but almost wish i did to know how it works.
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Wow, a real crazy right in our midst!
:LMAO:
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:laugh: Hear that, Wolf? Your craziness is real.
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real what?
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real crazy?
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Crazy is what crazy does.
"Life is like a bunch of chocolates...."
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To tell you the truth, i am more in favor of calling them modes, except now that i am in a relationship with someone who actually pays attention, i am told that i am not remembering things i said, did, heard in other modes. most frustrating. i did not start calling myself a multiple until a woman involved with jack accused him of having other people inside him. at that point we reluctantly re-considered the possibility. we had considered it years before but discarded it as we had only a few instances of memory lapse.
i have a theory that everyone has modes and that due to things like extreme stress, the modes can become more fragmented. i think this happened when we lost a job and could not figure out what was going wrong and couldn't fix it, even after asking.
but yes, mostly one at a time. sometimes i can watch , but there is only one mode i can do that with. there is another mode that sometimes influences me - not quite sure how that works.
most of my life i called them modes and when we talked i would tell people who overheard that i was talking to myself.
i am still figuring out how it works.
I have 'modes', and my memories can get a bit blurred between them. When I'm hypomanic, it's difficult for me to remember what it's like to not be hypomanic, and the same goes for when I'm depressed or neutral. I get a similar thing when I'm going to sleep and start to dream a bit before I'm completely asleep; I'm suddenly able to recall my past dreams in detail, which are fuzzy and difficult to access when I'm fully awake. Someone I was involved with once thought I was bipolar since I could change so much in what I thought and remembered and how I acted. I've found that various drugs are useful for breaking down the barriers between the different modes, making it easier for me to unify my experiences for a short time, but I haven't done much of that sort of thing for years.
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i have modes too but no memory loss, except my usual memory loss that is pretty consistent.
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To tell you the truth, i am more in favor of calling them modes, except now that i am in a relationship with someone who actually pays attention, i am told that i am not remembering things i said, did, heard in other modes. most frustrating. i did not start calling myself a multiple until a woman involved with jack accused him of having other people inside him. at that point we reluctantly re-considered the possibility. we had considered it years before but discarded it as we had only a few instances of memory lapse.
i have a theory that everyone has modes and that due to things like extreme stress, the modes can become more fragmented. i think this happened when we lost a job and could not figure out what was going wrong and couldn't fix it, even after asking.
but yes, mostly one at a time. sometimes i can watch , but there is only one mode i can do that with. there is another mode that sometimes influences me - not quite sure how that works.
most of my life i called them modes and when we talked i would tell people who overheard that i was talking to myself.
i am still figuring out how it works.
I have 'modes', and my memories can get a bit blurred between them. When I'm hypomanic, it's difficult for me to remember what it's like to not be hypomanic, and the same goes for when I'm depressed or neutral. I get a similar thing when I'm going to sleep and start to dream a bit before I'm completely asleep; I'm suddenly able to recall my past dreams in detail, which are fuzzy and difficult to access when I'm fully awake. Someone I was involved with once thought I was bipolar since I could change so much in what I thought and remembered and how I acted. I've found that various drugs are useful for breaking down the barriers between the different modes, making it easier for me to unify my experiences for a short time, but I haven't done much of that sort of thing for years.
what drugs? did they work for the memories too? how long was a short time?
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Crazy is what crazy does.
"Life is like a bunch of chocolates...."
oh damn. i am behind in my quota.
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To tell you the truth, i am more in favor of calling them modes, except now that i am in a relationship with someone who actually pays attention, i am told that i am not remembering things i said, did, heard in other modes. most frustrating. i did not start calling myself a multiple until a woman involved with jack accused him of having other people inside him. at that point we reluctantly re-considered the possibility. we had considered it years before but discarded it as we had only a few instances of memory lapse.
i have a theory that everyone has modes and that due to things like extreme stress, the modes can become more fragmented. i think this happened when we lost a job and could not figure out what was going wrong and couldn't fix it, even after asking.
but yes, mostly one at a time. sometimes i can watch , but there is only one mode i can do that with. there is another mode that sometimes influences me - not quite sure how that works.
most of my life i called them modes and when we talked i would tell people who overheard that i was talking to myself.
i am still figuring out how it works.
I have 'modes', and my memories can get a bit blurred between them. When I'm hypomanic, it's difficult for me to remember what it's like to not be hypomanic, and the same goes for when I'm depressed or neutral. I get a similar thing when I'm going to sleep and start to dream a bit before I'm completely asleep; I'm suddenly able to recall my past dreams in detail, which are fuzzy and difficult to access when I'm fully awake. Someone I was involved with once thought I was bipolar since I could change so much in what I thought and remembered and how I acted. I've found that various drugs are useful for breaking down the barriers between the different modes, making it easier for me to unify my experiences for a short time, but I haven't done much of that sort of thing for years.
what drugs? did they work for the memories too? how long was a short time?
Anything that gives greater plasticity and flexibility to thought processes while allowing you to remain lucid and cogent is likely to work. I found that butane worked the best out of the few things I've tried, but I wouldn't recommend following in my footsteps with that. Low to moderate doses of alcohol can work, though with less clarity than butane, and it tends to put me into a depressive mood which makes it more difficult to be objectively self-analytical. Cannabis and salvia divinorum are too disruptive to my mental functioning to be of much use, though I seem to respond unusually to cannabis in finding it a powerful hallucinogen, so other people are likely to have different experiences.
Butane and alcohol helped with accessing memories and with being able to explore the different ways that I think and act in different modes from an outside, 'trans-mode' perspective. The effect lasts for the duration of the drug experience, so would depend on what you were using, but it also produces somewhat of a lasting improvement in the ease of access. I've never tried LSD, but it could potentially be useful. I'm wary of it though because of the long term effects; I knew someone at uni who saw swirling patterns in surfaces after repeated LSD use. I don't lose memories of factual things that I've learned in different modes, but memories about how I've felt, things I've thought and things I've said can get obscured. When I'm depressed or hypomanic or neutral, it feels like I've always been that way, since the personal memories that come to the surface of their own accord are all of me in that same state, and I have to make a deliberate effort to recall that I'm not always like that, and to remember in a blurred fashion what it's like to not be like that.
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I found that butane worked the best out of the few things I've tried, but I wouldn't recommend following in my footsteps with that.
I know next to nothing about drugs; how does one even use butane? Inhaling vapors?
I don't lose memories of factual things that I've learned in different modes, but memories about how I've felt, things I've thought and things I've said can get obscured.
Interesting; this is similar to to my experience.
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maybe its on a continuum and the more fragmented you are the worse your memory is.
i used to have a good memory and initially i blamed the current troubles with it on stress, but the stress that caused the fragmentation is gone and i am still struggling. maybe at some point i will get back to it being modes again. in fact i have seen some evidence that it may already be happening. it makes me unhappy because although i think i would enjoy access to the intellectual prowess, the emotionality of one of the modes is daunting. i do *not* want to be that way.
uck. its all me, though. i keep telling myself that.
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I found that butane worked the best out of the few things I've tried, but I wouldn't recommend following in my footsteps with that.
I know next to nothing about drugs; how does one even use butane? Inhaling vapors?
It's a dense gas at normal temperatures and pressures, comes liquefied in pressurised cans or bottles and turns into a gas upon being released. It's the stuff used in most cigarette lighters (but not zippo lighters). I'd wrap the mouth of a small plastic sandwich bag around the nozzle of a butane refill can, making sure that there was plenty of air in the bag, then squirt some butane into it, inhale the mixture and hold my breath. At the time, I did a lot of underwater swimming, so I could hold my breath for a long time. Eventually I'd exhale, breathe normally for a bit and repeat, gradually increasing the amount of butane in my body and the intensity of the trip with each breath-holding. As far as I can tell, it's fairly benign on a chemical level, but as the expansion of the gas chills it when it comes out of the can, inhaling directly from the can is liable to freeze soft tissues in the throat, and since it can produce hallucinations and unconsciousness, squirting it into a bag and placing the bag over your head will quickly prove fatal.
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I found that butane worked the best out of the few things I've tried, but I wouldn't recommend following in my footsteps with that.
I know next to nothing about drugs; how does one even use butane? Inhaling vapors?
It's a dense gas at normal temperatures and pressures, comes liquefied in pressurised cans or bottles and turns into a gas upon being released. It's the stuff used in most cigarette lighters (but not zippo lighters). I'd wrap the mouth of a small plastic sandwich bag around the nozzle of a butane refill can, making sure that there was plenty of air in the bag, then squirt some butane into it, inhale the mixture and hold my breath. At the time, I did a lot of underwater swimming, so I could hold my breath for a long time. Eventually I'd exhale, breathe normally for a bit and repeat, gradually increasing the amount of butane in my body and the intensity of the trip with each breath-holding. As far as I can tell, it's fairly benign on a chemical level, but as the expansion of the gas chills it when it comes out of the can, inhaling directly from the can is liable to freeze soft tissues in the throat, and since it can produce hallucinations and unconsciousness, squirting it into a bag and placing the bag over your head will quickly prove fatal.
"Our understanding of the literature is that there is no such thing as safe use of volatile solvents, aerosols and other street inhalants : their psychoactive effects are inseparable from nerve and organ damage. We have chosen to include these reports to help document the real world use of inhalants, but their inclusion is not intended to imply that they are anything but dangerous."
Erowid says otherwise.
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I found that butane worked the best out of the few things I've tried, but I wouldn't recommend following in my footsteps with that.
I know next to nothing about drugs; how does one even use butane? Inhaling vapors?
It's a dense gas at normal temperatures and pressures, comes liquefied in pressurised cans or bottles and turns into a gas upon being released. It's the stuff used in most cigarette lighters (but not zippo lighters). I'd wrap the mouth of a small plastic sandwich bag around the nozzle of a butane refill can, making sure that there was plenty of air in the bag, then squirt some butane into it, inhale the mixture and hold my breath. At the time, I did a lot of underwater swimming, so I could hold my breath for a long time. Eventually I'd exhale, breathe normally for a bit and repeat, gradually increasing the amount of butane in my body and the intensity of the trip with each breath-holding. As far as I can tell, it's fairly benign on a chemical level, but as the expansion of the gas chills it when it comes out of the can, inhaling directly from the can is liable to freeze soft tissues in the throat, and since it can produce hallucinations and unconsciousness, squirting it into a bag and placing the bag over your head will quickly prove fatal.
"Our understanding of the literature is that there is no such thing as safe use of volatile solvents, aerosols and other street inhalants : their psychoactive effects are inseparable from nerve and organ damage. We have chosen to include these reports to help document the real world use of inhalants, but their inclusion is not intended to imply that they are anything but dangerous."
Erowid says otherwise.
Erowid could be right, thus one of the reasons I don't recommend other people try it.
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I found that butane worked the best out of the few things I've tried, but I wouldn't recommend following in my footsteps with that.
I know next to nothing about drugs; how does one even use butane? Inhaling vapors?
It's a dense gas at normal temperatures and pressures, comes liquefied in pressurised cans or bottles and turns into a gas upon being released. It's the stuff used in most cigarette lighters (but not zippo lighters). I'd wrap the mouth of a small plastic sandwich bag around the nozzle of a butane refill can, making sure that there was plenty of air in the bag, then squirt some butane into it, inhale the mixture and hold my breath. At the time, I did a lot of underwater swimming, so I could hold my breath for a long time. Eventually I'd exhale, breathe normally for a bit and repeat, gradually increasing the amount of butane in my body and the intensity of the trip with each breath-holding. As far as I can tell, it's fairly benign on a chemical level, but as the expansion of the gas chills it when it comes out of the can, inhaling directly from the can is liable to freeze soft tissues in the throat, and since it can produce hallucinations and unconsciousness, squirting it into a bag and placing the bag over your head will quickly prove fatal.
"Our understanding of the literature is that there is no such thing as safe use of volatile solvents, aerosols and other street inhalants : their psychoactive effects are inseparable from nerve and organ damage. We have chosen to include these reports to help document the real world use of inhalants, but their inclusion is not intended to imply that they are anything but dangerous."
Erowid says otherwise.
Erowid could be right, thus one of the reasons I don't recommend other people try it.
I have a can next to my bed. :green:
Never thought of inhaling it until now. Thanks for the tip Pete!
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vodzy, you have better drugs. :P
have you seen that episode of intervention with the duster huffer? allison or something.
I don't lose memories of factual things that I've learned in different modes, but memories about how I've felt, things I've thought and things I've said can get obscured. When I'm depressed or hypomanic or neutral, it feels like I've always been that way, since the personal memories that come to the surface of their own accord are all of me in that same state, and I have to make a deliberate effort to recall that I'm not always like that, and to remember in a blurred fashion what it's like to not be like that.
that sounds a lot like me, i've never been able to put it into words.