INTENSITY²
Start here => M.O.-Introductions => Ask Away Threads => Topic started by: Trigger 11 on October 07, 2008, 03:12:55 PM
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Having problems in your sex life or maybe some intimacy issues? No worries! Just let me know what your issues are and I will provide sage advice to get you back on that saddle.
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I have low sex drive and have only been wanking once a day for the past few weeks or so.
How can I improve the situation?
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I have low sex drive and have only been wanking once a day for the past few weeks or so.
How can I improve the situation?
ginseng, alfalfa juice, pomegranate fluff, zinc buckets, green tea massage butter, biotin dandruff shampoo, oat suppositries and your mum.
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Yes, but what if his mum's sex drive is low as well?
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ginseng, alfalfa juice, pomegranate fluff, zinc buckets, green tea massage butter, biotin dandruff shampoo, oat suppositries and someone else's mum.
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I have low sex drive and have only been wanking once a day for the past few weeks or so.
How can I improve the situation?
Try this:
cornholing:
Or: corn-holing , colloquialism for homo- and heterosexual anal-intercourse . See anal-copulation for synonyms.
Etymology: An early 20 th century American expression believed to have originated from the practice of wiping the ass with dried corncobs.
That should get you back on track.
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ginseng, alfalfa juice, pomegranate fluff, zinc buckets, green tea massage butter, biotin dandruff shampoo, oat suppositries and someone else's mum.
better :laugh:
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I have low sex drive and have only been wanking once a day for the past few weeks or so.
How can I improve the situation?
Try this:
cornholing:
Or: corn-holing , colloquialism for homo- and heterosexual anal-intercourse . See anal-copulation for synonyms.
Etymology: An early 20 th century American expression believed to have originated from the practice of wiping the ass with dried corncobs.
That should get you back on track.
I'll try that later, cheers.
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At what point should I stop being willing to sacrifice sleep for sex?
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At what point should I stop being willing to sacrifice sleep for sex?
You're kidding right? :-\
Hmmm, read that the wrong way! You have you're entire death to sleep, but you can't enjoy sex once you're dead. So have sex as often as you can, regardless of how tired you are. Besides, don't women get a rush of energy after sex?
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At what point should I start being willing to sacrifice sex for sleep?
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At what point should I start being willing to sacrifice sex for sleep?
You're kidding right? Never! But you're a dude, so the more sex you have, the more "after glow" naps you should be getting. It should work to your advantage.
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when can i expect my next shag?
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Why is my libido so low?
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when can i expect my next shag?
Normally I would ask where you live and give you a time estimate based upon how long it would take me to get there, since I certainly do like to oblige the ladies, but I suppose there is someone else on here that may be able to give you a more accurate answer. But being a female, you should be able to go to your local Pub and get shagged tonight. It all depends on your standards.
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Why is my libido so low?
You don't have enough fiber in your diet. I would recommend seeing a Gastroenterologist about having a Colonoscopy. Once that is done, a fiber-rich diet should boost your libido up in about a week.
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Why is my libido so low?
You don't have enough fiber in your diet. I would recommend seeing a Gastroenterologist about having a Colonoscopy. Once that is done, a fiber-rich diet should boost your libido up in about a week.
My diet has a great deal of fibre, and I take a big crap twice a day.
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Why is my libido so low?
You don't have enough fiber in your diet. I would recommend seeing a Gastroenterologist about having a Colonoscopy. Once that is done, a fiber-rich diet should boost your libido up in about a week.
My diet has a great deal of fibre, and I take a big crap twice a day.
maybe that's where you're going wrong, then.
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when can i expect my next shag?
Normally I would ask where you live and give you a time estimate based upon how long it would take me to get there, since I certainly do like to oblige the ladies, but I suppose there is someone else on here that may be able to give you a more accurate answer. But being a female, you should be able to go to your local Pub and get shagged tonight. It all depends on your standards.
:laugh:
that's the trouble, see - standards. :(
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Why is my libido so low?
You don't have enough fiber in your diet. I would recommend seeing a Gastroenterologist about having a Colonoscopy. Once that is done, a fiber-rich diet should boost your libido up in about a week.
My diet has a great deal of fibre, and I take a big crap twice a day.
Then you need to add Yellow Mangosteens (http://www.capetrib.com.au/yellowmangosteen.htm) to your diet. At least five per day should have you back in the saddle in a month.
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Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:
Sounds like desperate shots. I know what I am doing, and I don't seem to be getting hurt, except the goldenseal root extract. Although my reaction is better this time, because last time it wasn't extract, and there was hives. I got no hives this time, and I even applied it topically to.
Mouth sores suck! I think wheat is worse though, with the sores. I took some of this last time and I don't remember it doing anything.
Your a sorry ass Trigger11, and you make fun of me? Your reasons are probably illogical.
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Ease up, Randy. Quiet place, sit and think, don't do anything - yes, Buddha is smart.
While Odeon and Lucifer were possibly making a parallel to your recommendations, it is YOU who have offered these suggestions over a long period of time. Desparate? No, just a parody of many things.
I don't think Trigger11 was making fun of you as much as complimenting you by working in your universe. Many writers are at first offended, but it is one world we live in. One world. You are a part of it.
Breathe deeply. Think. Think, again.
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Your a sorry ass Trigger11, and you make fun of me? Your reasons are probably illogical.
I have no idea what you are talking about. I never mentioned you, nor did I quote anything from you or that someone else quoted from you, if that's the case. In fact, I have only seen a couple of posts from you in the short time I have been here. I really don't have a clue what I did that could upset you. :-\
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I wasn't going any further.
You don't think I am suffering? I would think I would be happier, to a degree, if I had serious mental issues, instead, I find them leaking out of conscious. My situation makes me a sorry ass, sucks! There isn't much else I can do exept concentrate on going foward.
Did I just say that, sorry ass, man I am horny, I am almost asking for a spanking, and I never do. Get me that clepto, thinks she can fuck with me now? Yes I am neive, take you for a ride >:D Stupid bitch :laugh:
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I wasn't going any further.
You don't think I am suffering? I would think I would be happier, to a degree, if I had serious mental issues, instead, I find them leaking out of conscious. My situation makes me a sorry ass, sucks! There isn't much else I can do exept concentrate on going foward.
Did I just say that, sorry ass, man I am horny, I am almost asking for a spanking, and I never do. Get me that clepto, thinks she can fuck with me now? Yes I am neive, take you for a ride >:D Stupid bitch :laugh:
You can do more.
Take some time to sit quietly, think, do not move, meditate.
I am convinced, Randy, that with all the other things you do for yourself, one of the missing links is meditation.
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Your a sorry ass Trigger11, and you make fun of me? Your reasons are probably illogical.
I have no idea what you are talking about. I never mentioned you, nor did I quote anything from you or that someone else quoted from you, if that's the case. In fact, I have only seen a couple of posts from you in the short time I have been here. I really don't have a clue what I did that could upset you. :-\
Randy, meet Trigger. Trigger, meet Randy. :LMAO:
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Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:
We'd rather do it without you, if that's OK.
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At what point should I stop being willing to sacrifice sleep for sex?
You're kidding right? :-\
Hmmm, read that the wrong way! You have you're entire death to sleep, but you can't enjoy sex once you're dead. So have sex as often as you can, regardless of how tired you are. Besides, don't women get a rush of energy after sex?
Lol, nah, I get afterglow naps attacks like a guy. Something about suddenly being very relaxed. (Prolly also has to do with otherwise being tired and stressed much of the time.)
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Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:
We'd rather do it without you, if that's OK.
we seem to have managed okay without him so far. :eyelash:
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Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:
We'd rather do it without you, if that's OK.
we seem to have managed okay without him so far. :eyelash:
I think so too. :eyelash:
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Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:
We'd rather do it without you, if that's OK.
we seem to have managed okay without him so far. :eyelash:
I think so too. :eyelash:
AND with kettle chips and chocolate cake instead of ginseng and alfalfa pustules, or whatever it is. perhaps that's where he's going wrong?
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Bendicks. Don't forget Bendicks.
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Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:
okay, flo, just for you:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=HSI8uhFSuiM
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Bendicks. Don't forget Bendicks.
:yikes: how could i have forgotten the Bendicks?! or the dotty bread, or the nasturtium, or...
we're gluttons, ain't we? :lol:
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Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:
okay, flo, just for you:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=HSI8uhFSuiM
The dissimilarity is striking. :P
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yes - i never wear blue.
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:laugh:
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how are golden showers best enjoyed?
under a glass coffee table or with a snorkel and divers mask.
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I prefer a funnel and some cheese and crackers.
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:lol:I think you're taking the piss...
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where's lit when you need him? ::)
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where's lit when you need him? ::)
Where he should be. Far away.
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:laugh: :clap:
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Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:
okay, flo, just for you:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=HSI8uhFSuiM
The dissimilarity is striking. :P
You better watch it, my desire is greater than the disgust of the picture :laugh:
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Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:
okay, flo, just for you:
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=HSI8uhFSuiM
The dissimilarity is striking. :P
You better watch it, my desire is greater than the disgust of the picture :laugh:
I think she is available. :P
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I didn't say date, maybe with a little training, and motivation.... I am good at those things, gives me plenty of options, so does patients.
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yes, well, you might just stand a chance with some types of patient, flo.
(as long as you're into bondage).
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I don't see how. They'd tie him up and leave.
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I don't see how. They'd tie him up and leave.
i don't think they could: this is what i had in mind...
(http://www.fantasycostumes.com/Merchant2/images/Strait-Jacket-Set-AA11-CS.jpg)
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I don't see how. They'd tie him up and leave.
i don't think they could: this is what i had in mind...
(http://www.fantasycostumes.com/Merchant2/images/Strait-Jacket-Set-AA11-CS.jpg)
Yup, that'd do it. :P
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Okay...I am going to ask all of you a question.
Say a girl at work comes over to your desk several times a day and talks to you. During this time she smiles a lot, laughs at your sarcasm, and fidgets with her wedding ring a lot. Do you suppose that means anything?
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Okay...I am going to ask all of you a question.
Say a girl at work comes over to your desk several times a day and talks to you. During this time she smiles a lot, laughs at your sarcasm, and fidgets with her wedding ring a lot. Do you suppose that means anything?
Yes, it likely means she's attracted to you, probably dissatisfied with her marriage and is considering having an affair with you. It could also mean that her chair is uncomfortable, she thinks you're funny and she's allergic to the alloy of her wedding ring.
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They're never allergic to money, muscles or big cocks, though.
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Okay...I am going to ask all of you a question.
Say a girl at work comes over to your desk several times a day and talks to you. During this time she smiles a lot, laughs at your sarcasm, and fidgets with her wedding ring a lot. Do you suppose that means anything?
Yes, it likely means she's attracted to you, probably dissatisfied with her marriage and is considering having an affair with you. It could also mean that her chair is uncomfortable, she thinks you're funny and she's allergic to the alloy of her wedding ring.
:plus:
:LMAO:
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Okay...I am going to ask all of you a question.
Say a girl at work comes over to your desk several times a day and talks to you. During this time she smiles a lot, laughs at your sarcasm, and fidgets with her wedding ring a lot. Do you suppose that means anything?
women are attention whores
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women are attention whores
Fixed. 8)
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should i dote on a woman, feed their confidence and buy them things?
should i act like i am really inerested in her?
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Depends. Are you?
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should i dote on a woman, feed their confidence and buy them things?
should i act like i am really inerested in her?
I agree with Pyraxis' 'depends' but with different stipulations:
1. Is the woman frigid (if so, go right ahead- you will definitley not get laid AND eventually run out of money)
2. Would you have ANYTHING to offer her if you weren't buying her shit and waiting on her hand and foot (if so, avoid at all cost- there is a chance you will not only get laid but will not have to go bankrupt to pay her not to dump you)
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should i dote on a woman, feed their confidence and buy them things?
should i act like i am really inerested in her?
Are we talking about your wife here?
If so, then yes.
:green:
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should i dote on a woman, feed their confidence and buy them things?
should i act like i am really inerested in her?
Are we talking about your wife here?
If so, then yes.
:green:
i was talking about how not to get a woman interested in you.
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should i dote on a woman, feed their confidence and buy them things?
should i act like i am really inerested in her?
Are we talking about your wife here?
If so, then yes.
:green:
i was talking about how not to get a woman interested in you.
:-[
I should have known that.
:asthing:
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what's your favourite smashing pumpkins song?
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what's your favourite smashing pumpkins song?
I'm not sure whom this question was addressed to, or if that was supposed to be an example of a bad pickup line or something, but I'll chime in with "Mayonaise" nonetheless! :toporly:
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I never expected this thread to be opened up again. I'll have to check back and read through the new shit when I am not at a concert.
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^ I could help you with that!
I am thinking that I made a mistake committing to go 'dancing' at some club in Boston when I return in July. :duh:
I don't dance! What the fuck was I thinking?
Have you been dancing yet?
Did you disappear from here for a bit because you fell in love with a new lady?
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^ I could help you with that!
I am thinking that I made a mistake committing to go 'dancing' at some club in Boston when I return in July. :duh:
I don't dance! What the fuck was I thinking?
Have you been dancing yet?
Did you disappear from here for a bit because you fell in love with a new lady?
Oh yeah, that's right! How did the dancing go? :orly:
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Hi, Babe!
Wow, your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
Wanna take a ride?
:laugh:
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Text someone about cheese :facepalm2:
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Text someone about cheese :facepalm2:
mmm... cheese
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Text someone about cheese :facepalm2:
mmm... cheese
Meaning, I should assume that he's just too busy wanking to the thought of melty cheese to reply? :P
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Text someone about cheese :facepalm2:
mmm... cheese
Meaning, I should assume that he's just too busy wanking to the thought of melty cheese to reply? :P
Meaning, I like cheese.
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Text someone about cheese :facepalm2:
mmm... cheese
Meaning, I should assume that he's just too busy wanking to the thought of melty cheese to reply? :P
Meaning, I like cheese.
You're no help whatsoever :thumbdn:
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Okay, here.
Text him a naked pic of yourself with bits of cheese covering the good parts.
Then he will be thinking, "mmm... cheese".
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Much better :laugh:
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Much better :laugh:
EBM is all about helpin'! :thumbup:
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^ I could help you with that!
I am thinking that I made a mistake committing to go 'dancing' at some club in Boston when I return in July. :duh:
I don't dance! What the fuck was I thinking?
Have you been dancing yet?
Did you disappear from here for a bit because you fell in love with a new lady?
IT WAS WITH A GUY!!! I SHOULD HAVE SAID CLUBBING!!! WE ENDED UP AT AN UNDERGROUND PUNK DIVE INSTEAD!!! HE DIDN'T PUT OUT!!!
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Did you ever go on any missions with the Sea Shepherds??
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Nope! Work wouldn't let me (as in keep my jonpb waiting while on a sabbatical). I have gone out and done local projects like beach clean-up and volunteering at conventions.
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I also haven't gotten laid. Oh well...
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Like as in, ever??
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No...just not in (for)ever. :dunno: