INTENSITY²
Start here => Games => Topic started by: DukeNukem on March 29, 2010, 10:55:04 PM
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Once upon a time...
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Duke_Nukem sucked a cock...
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The end. Period.
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What a great story about me. ::) Seriously, you idiots act like you are 6 years old. I will begin this story again, and this time, it won't be about me sucking a cock!
The Night Was Stormy...
The car turned...
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...around and then...
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a tree fell...
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Duke_Nukem sucked a cock...
someone.
can't.
count.
a tree fell...
on my head
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The car stopped.
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ninjas climbed out
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wielding pink dildos
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and wearing tutus
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and butt naked
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swore mighty oaths
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to uphold Shaolin
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and master the
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art of wanking.
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Then suddenly I...
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sucked some Balls(TM)
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,sneezed uncontrollably, then
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vomited on my..
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blue suede shoes.
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A Cop asked..
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"License and registration?"
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did a cavity search
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finding no licence..
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"Registration's fine, though."
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Cop washes hands...
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then jerks off
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gets caught by
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his mother, who
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had aluminium testicles
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,his father had no comment. :o
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tiny balls of
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rice with shrimp
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, eaten using chopsticks,
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during April Fools'...
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exploded Duke_Nukem's balls...
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...shaped atom bomb...
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that blew-up t'internet
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, made a tsunami
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of baked beans
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clogging everyone's drains
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'n' draining everyone's clogs
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he recovered, barely....
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,aided by scotch
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"Definitely NO ICE!" :grrr:
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and pulled out...
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for amazing glaze
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and painted pottery.
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Utilising broken shards
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to make a
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stippled shadow effect
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from his PINGAS
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to his sternum
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which was scarified
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It looked threatening
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this pitiful excuse
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for a pingas.
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shrunken, wrinkled, pimpled
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misshapen, very tiny
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Aaaaaah go fuck yourselves!!! :finger:
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My PINGAS is a magnificently gargantuan and solid masterpiece!
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Aaaaaah go fuck yourselves!!! :finger: My PINGAS is a magnificently gargantuan and solid masterpiece!
*blink* Who says anyone is talking about yours?
misshapen, very tiny
concealed behind baggies
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containing a pair
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of big balls :zoinks:
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on clanking chains.
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Cooled on ice
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now they're blue
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And so brittle
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that they broke
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Sparkling pieces blinding
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melted to nothing
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and they're gone.
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Keyser Soze walked...
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with a limp
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male member, which
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told a tale
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of misfortune and...
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murder among friends
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whose undergarments chafed. :ouch:
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This tale begins
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With clean undergarments
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just in case
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an accident occurs
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away from home
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on your own
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on a bus
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in the middle
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of midday traffic
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with your pants
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around your ankles
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using tweezers to
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remove a splinter
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from your nose
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but it's stuck
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bending over, you
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suck it out
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choking on snot
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coughing up vomit
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to onlookers' bemusement.
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They don't help
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Leaving the bus
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in a hurry
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while our hero
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furiously masturbates to
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the Beatles tune
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Long and Winding Road
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leads us to
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a sticky end
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of this story
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The next day....
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a dead hero
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walked to the
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Blue Oyster Bar
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and whipped out...
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some chocolate sauce
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and a box
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of assorted cockrings
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for his funeralparty
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The theme: Autoeroticism.
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'Twas dead sexy. ;)
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and right on
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Your grammar's improper
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"no she's not"
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Jelly is erotic
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on your grammar's
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FUCK MY NECK
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FUCK MY NECK
NO U
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stepped on my
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long hair and
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fell on your
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penis, which bruised
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your ego immensely
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it was flaccid
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dead beyond all
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pitiful and pathetic
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hope of recognition.
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times would brighten
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with summer's advent
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when the sun
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shone down brightly
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upon his huge
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four-wheel drive
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with muddy tires
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and fog lights
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and shiny sidepipes
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skyblue1 is gay :evillaugh:
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said the pot
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to the kettle
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It was black.
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and a fabrication
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of cast iron
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and some rusty
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nails connecting the
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broken parts together
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Unfortunately, the nails
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were too dull
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and the hammer
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just bent them
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producing screechy noises
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Later that day,
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Along came Elvis
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he'd been hiding
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In his grave
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full of cheeseburgers.
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and peanut butter
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smelling like roses
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which was unusual
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choice of fragrance
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because he had
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died a long
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long time ago
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from what we
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gleaned through rumours
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He phoned Priscilla
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She blew him
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a nigga on a fountain
[attachment deleted by admin]
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which wasnt recieved
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because it was
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delivered postage-due
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and post-haste
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from the scene
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craving a beer
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and a pretzel
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at Heartbreak Hotel
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Detonate a bomb
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a roach bomb.
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and everyone died
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except the roaches
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They feasted on
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corpses lying in
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Keith Richards' house
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the putrid smell
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woke Keith up
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the world exploded
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like an egg
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Keith yawned and
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scratched his ass
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lit a joint
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and hacked up
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a Mick Jagger
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a huge lung-cookie
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that looked like
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that looked like
WTF do you think a lung cookie looks like??
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fBQVVpFhTQs/Sw_dKbMNFUI/AAAAAAAAA5s/pWcQiCP2jK8/s1600/pyogenic_lung_abscess_lw.jpg)
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said Keith indignantly
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forgetting the rule
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rules are for chumps. :weird:
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Trix are for kids.
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who have munchies
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I am ruining this story because its gay. Also, FUCK the rules. ;)
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do not break
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then do break
because they're gay
nigger nigger nigger
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do not break
into people's houses
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This story sucks.
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cause its true
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Bangkok whores suck
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you , long time
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you get herpes
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and other strange....
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prizes in your cereal.
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But only if...
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you buy chocopops
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and not Weetabix
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which totally sucks ass anyroad.
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Later on a....
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mysterious stranger walked...
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into a bar and
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screwed the bartender. :orgasm:
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He still had to pay for his drinks, though.
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He had no money.....
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so the bartender called her boyfriend, who was also the bouncer
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he couldn't count....
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. He was a no-count.
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but what he lacked in brains he more than made up for in brawn.
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Then everyone died
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On the third day however......
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they came back
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...they were BRAVE... :viking:
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all of them.
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They wore dresses.
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Including the men
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into the story
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waltzed a dominatrix
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from gloomy britain
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She was holding
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Her gimps throbing member
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which dripped sweat, blood and semen
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And shot a huge fucking load
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into a black hole
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And stephen hawking announced thats how the universe began! :green:
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But, Billy Graham had risen from the dead too.
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intent on exorcising the sexual demons that had engulfed the room
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and calling Hawkins a heathen.
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Then a baby farted.
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The sound of true relief.
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Which is all rather strange
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since Billy Graham is still alive
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since Billy Graham is still alive
He's dead to me.
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since Billy Graham is still alive
He's dead to me.
:rofl:
There was this weird moment in this story when all were dead :green:, that's why Billy rose from the dead too.
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Was that before or after the Earth went through a wormhole?
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During.
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The gravedigger paused
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to reflect on his labours
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...and have some...
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jagged glass shards
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with his Jack Daniels
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. Work tired him
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so he quit
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and became a millionaire
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selling time shares
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to beachfront property
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in Boca Raton
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a nice gated community
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where all homeowners
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hid from the unwashed hordes
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in pristine garments.
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looking down their
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noses at those on the outside
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who were looking
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enviously through the gates
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of hell frozen...
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then summer came
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with parties galore
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and fancy drinks
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meds for everyone
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and disability cheques :P
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bouncing happily, or not,
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they all decided
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to have a
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few beers and
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smoke some herb
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then parts started
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this gay cookie
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which was absurd
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beyond limits, so
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even gayer cookie
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so someone slapped
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the gay cookie
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and it cried
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stupid royal weddings
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. I'm not invited!
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sad to say
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I like cocks
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and noodles for
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they're funny looking.
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turning the fan
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to the wall
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Litigious said, "Looks
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like we're going
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a thousand miles
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in the middle
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of nowhere,
but
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there's a big
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roadblock up ahead
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so we need
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to ram through
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to get to
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the store, where
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everything was sold
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and get lube
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so getting buggered
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and it hurt
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like the dickens
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he liked it
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in spite of
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him having hemorrhoids
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and no KClO3
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WTF no KClO3 ?
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Said Lit when
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just jeep ramming
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you'll get there
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if you have
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to limp in
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on your belly
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and swallow a
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what is reguired
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which only seemed
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boobs boobs boobs
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you stupid boobs
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show muff instead
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to attract dykes
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keep water back.
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so alluvial fan
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across the land
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that wasn't there
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because it was
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just too lumpy
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like a mattress
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, used too often
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by crack whores
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glass and stains
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ala Jackson Pollack
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But more sordid
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twisted and insane
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as they crawled
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over verminous carpet
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which smelled like
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mold in bloom.
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which grew like
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blooming mold pustules
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along the walkway
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walked a pervert
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who gently farted
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but really sharted
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dressed up in
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a cleric gown
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with trousers down
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ogling a clown
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up and down
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with exposed tripe
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trying not to
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gobble it down
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to fast so
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regurgitation becomes eminent
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then it happends
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repulsive bleeding flatulence
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makes smelly noises
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into the void.
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of his soul
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lost and forgotten
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by Mother Theresa
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yet, somehow, redeemed
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by whorish ostentatiousness
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the man remembered
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the troll FeralAspie
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gargling cum from
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a coffee cup
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while plotting to
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make all laugh
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with gay abandon
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by felching better
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whatever felching is
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it is bad :LMAO:
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Judy loves it
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in the ass
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While eating beans
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with corn bread
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watching Blazing Saddles
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Alex Karras - YAYYYYYYYYY
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who is a...
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pawn in the game of life
-
using little protection
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and getting friction
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art of cooking
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with a flame-thrower
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firstly cutting cheese
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into small squares
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meticulously evenly diced.
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Removing giant boogers
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from booger jar
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mmmm extra crunchy
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like Richards skivvies
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Rage sets fire
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Steelcaps extinguish fire :laugh:
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But not napalm
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Deep fried calamari :o
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Make rough cocksleeves
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which Rage enjoys :zoinks:
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then he eats
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squids wide girth
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and swallows it
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While i watch :beer:
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the band play
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With my balls.
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With my balls.
trust you to lower the tone :angel:
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With my balls.
slamming really hard
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With my balls.
trust you to lower the tone :angel:
:eyelash:
I'm sure I don't know what you mean.
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With my balls.
slamming really hard
On their drums
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Rose just masterbated.
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I bloody never ???
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came so hard :thumbup:
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I bloody never ???
skip a day
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without creaming myself
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while Felcher wished
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that bestiality was
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a common thing
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that his parents
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would not deny
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. Mother Theresa prayed
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before allowing violation
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of their flock
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by Brahma bulls
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and ugly fairies
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from Lower Madras
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along the road
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to Patpong Bangkok
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whistling Colonel Bogey
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loves the ladyboys
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whom Felcher's felching
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all night long
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walking the floor
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on my hands
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leaving no footprints
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but then he
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Realised he melted
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his balls off
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by excessive friction
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all the while
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Fucking a gorilla
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Fucking a gorilla
:zoinks: Checkmate.
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With a strapon
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Fucking a gorilla
:zoinks: Checkmate.
You were going to say the same? :orly:
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Fucking a gorilla
:zoinks: Checkmate.
You were going to say the same? :orly:
Sort of...
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coincidence will happen
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except when planned.
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this plans fine :zoinks:
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something always happens.....
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when spears stab
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people in the...
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least appreciated places.
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for drying meat
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and two veg
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continuity has gone
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down the drain
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Incy wincy spider
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forest quickly vermillion
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Peanut Butter Jelly
:bonban:
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and toejam sandwiches
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topped with fromunda
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division green arabesque
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yogurt spewing monsters
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throwing spears instead
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of rubbing them
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with stinging ointment
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KY next time
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Said Florence nightingale
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jabbing the syringe
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into a raccoon
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while casting spells
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from fishing pole
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tomato license quatrefoil
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aiming for the
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his wide posterior
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couldn't miss it
-
indulging in sadism
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rather than masochism
-
while applying accoutrements
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and vile ointments
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to a leprechaun
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known as shleed
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while he shivered
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with eager trepidation
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imagining his demise
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at the hands
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of his lover!
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nervously licking his
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long hairy chest
-
he soon realized
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richard's peter was
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much larger than
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he had anticipated
-
finding monkey feces
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in his raisin-bran
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so instead he
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had shredded wheat
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with some deep-fried
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ice cream with
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banana peppers and
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chittlins with rice
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which were actually
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chittlins with maggots
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The next day
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he threw up
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on the lady
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he came with
(Yeah, full of double meaning, run with it guys)
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during anal sex
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giving a colonoscopy
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at the deli
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where he grabbed
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Marika and danced
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the polka like
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crazed possessed beasts
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who had just
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eaten rancid garlic
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covered anchovies with
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sauerkraut and mayo
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brutally extracted from
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starving children's hands
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The next day
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when the alarm
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went off for
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a pie fuck
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just like when
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the condom burst
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Burned my sausage
-
which resulted in
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swearing and howling
-
at the moon
-
werewolves came running
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into the dark
-
and massacred the
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people of Wrongplanet
-
singing songs about
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their glory days
-
praising Alex Plank
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and dancing passionately
-
while drinking blood
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. Then I2 spoke
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glowingly about the
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rampant sexual tension
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between the donkeys
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and drunken GeneralRazorbeard.
-
who wanted richard
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to buy him
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vids of PETERS
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to watch whenever
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it was snowing
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and he couldn't
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defrost his zippers
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because his hands
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were tied by
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two fat dwarves
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wearing borrowed thongs
-
that smelled like
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summer in a
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brothel next to
-
sweaty man with
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mayonnaise and ketchup
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smeared all over
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their genitalia and
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showing it to
-
everyone he knew
-
because he thought
-
it was cute
-
but obviously he
-
forgot about his
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huge red pimple
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brimming with puss
-
festering to a...
-
chipotle-flavored burrito
-
bought by his
-
girlfriend just so
-
she could fly
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to Iran and
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talk to the
-
tiny sand flea
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tickling his left
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testicle so slightly
-
and it sneezed
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on Horton's dandelion
-
which made him
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huff and puff
-
and cough up
-
some Cheezy Puffs
-
all over the
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bathroom stall he
-
had just passed
-
a kidney stone
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through the window
-
for a touchdown
-
in the ninth
-
symphony by Beethoven
-
otherwise they would
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have peed in
-
a cup. Meanwhile,
-
in Africa they
-
taunted rabid hyenas
-
who continued laughing
-
until a giant
-
leprechaun came by
-
and crapped gold
-
frankensence and myrrh
-
until dehydration caused
-
the Sahara Desert
-
to blow away
-
leaving a verdant
-
landscape lush with
-
marijuana and broccoli
-
that Trigger11 enthusiastically
-
crammed in Odeon's
-
Jaguars boot and
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exhaust pipe along
-
with richard's agates
-
that performed admirably
-
shining so seductively
-
while whispering sweet
-
"Penis, penis, penis"
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to his beloved
-
monkey. Gross. Hundreds
-
of beast loving
-
hermaphrodites who preferred
-
catching not pitching
-
were murdered yesterday
-
with great care
-
during lunch break
-
in their hotel
-
by lavender mafia
-
wearing yellow shoes
-
for walking planks
-
that they pulled
-
from the floor
-
in a fit
-
and a tantrum
-
smashing a tambourine
-
and a ukelele
-
while playing drums
-
and singing hymns
-
about crocodiles and
-
tigers and lions
-
bears oh my
-
so Dorothy went
-
and pulled down
-
the shower curtain
-
and wrapped it
-
into a huge doobie.
-
into a huge doobie.
(4 words there.... :duh: )
that Cheech said
-
reminded him of
-
that time when
-
pigs could fly
-
and frogs didn't
-
swim either. Meanwhile
-
back at the
-
zoo, the elephants
-
under Colonel Haithi
-
were organising a....
-
murderous mutiny against
-
the humans,who
-
had eaten their
-
placentas for dinner
-
which was gross.
-
Even to Muslims
-
despite the fact that the local imam declared it hallal
-
for his fluffer
-
nutter butter cookie
-
with large milk
-
in small bottle
-
with after shave
-
that he bought
-
on the street
-
from a leprechaun
-
suffering bad halitosis
-
, got it? Then,
-
sad to say
-
I must be
-
up a tree
-
fondling my coconuts
-
got my GF's pussy wet
-
fondling my coconuts
while reading satanic
-
you're supposed to add to the post above you. Can't you follow the rules?? :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
-
three words ruled
-
but Valleyheap clueless
-
as he is
-
just fucked up
-
can't count too!
-
what a spaz
-
moment in time
-
contemplating one's future
-
looking forward to
-
everything and nothing
-
and the vastness
-
of the options
-
that were there
-
out of reach.
-
To grasp the
-
one thing capable
-
of achieving orgasim
-
inside a cumquat
-
between his balls
-
without much flexibility
-
, a miracle indeed.
-
Justin Bieber went
-
apeshit in Vancouver ( :laugh: )
-
Toronto and Quebec
-
, playing hockey with
-
Wayne Gretzki's sister
-
and drinking beer
-
from her bellybutton
-
and licking some
-
tarmac at the
-
city bus depot
-
. He got kicked
-
up the bum
-
by a dude
-
with one eye
-
and wooden leg
(like the new profile pic, Trig)
-
wrapped in bacon
-
Mmmm bacon, said
-
rabid Snoopy and
-
his best friend
-
Woodstock who crapped
-
on his head
-
, his own head,
-
which was funny
-
to the blind
-
and even funnier
-
three blind mice!
-
Laughter rolled across
-
Fields of Athenry
-
while the Irish
-
played Gaelic football
-
drank to excess
-
and beat their
-
sheep senseless. So,
-
PETA protested profusely
-
again to no..
-
avail because the
-
cameras weren't there
-
to provide proof
-
of sheep wanking
-
to Irish songs.
-
, which helps provide
-
an orgasmic sensation
-
for lepers with
-
with missing toes
-
but all their
-
'nads still intact
-
keeping them balanced
-
with self control
-
and lack of
-
Marijuana on hand
-
because their supplier
-
Had died. He
-
ran off with
-
General Razorbeard and
-
sold all his...
-
mushrooms. Red Ridinghood
-
brought her basket
-
filled with cookies
-
and hash with
-
her to the
-
railroad tracks where
-
trains run late
-
into the night.
-
and trainspotters waited
-
for the shipment
-
of drugs and...
-
sex toys for
-
old gompers wearing
-
diapers and bras
-
made of coconuts.
-
and jaggedy-arse wool
-
Suddenly, a shark
-
swallowed Scrapheap whole
-
AND ENDED THE FRICKING FEUD. Seriously guys, get over it and get off of it. It's boring the rest of us tears.
Back to our regularly scheduled game:
dancing a waltz
-
AND ENDED THE FRICKING FEUD. Seriously guys, get over it and get off of it. It's boring the rest of us tears.
Back to our regularly scheduled game:
dancing a waltz
Tell him. I'm trying to avoid him like the bubonic plague now, but as proves typical, he won't let go.
Does it mean leaving here for good to get rid of him?
-
, Matilda that is,
-
but the jumbuck
-
suddenly turned back
-
and sat down
-
then fucked Mathilda
-
for the money
-
which was counterfeit
-
and soaked in
-
ethanol. So then
-
Austin Powers danced
-
on the grave....
-
of Ronald Reagan
-
wearing a funky
-
cold medina thang
-
then pissing on...
-
jellyfish stung feet
-
hanging out of...
-
the biggest tree
-
in the forest...
-
behind the village
-
of the damned.
-
An Ogre appeared
-
from the hole
-
inside a large
-
lake of mysteries
-
deep inside that....
-
bottomless mind pit
-
of Carkoon on
-
Trigger's bedside table
-
inside Mos Eisley
-
at the Cantina
-
with Greedo and
-
Figrin who played
-
with his band
-
the Modal Nodes
-
the Modal Nodes
Hey! No fair! You stole my 3 words!!! :laugh:
, Biths who rocked
-
with Max Rebo
-
and Droopy McCool
-
and their orchestras
-
plus Oola dancing
-
with oola oops
-
while chained to
-
each other's penises
-
i mean lekku
-
looking rather creepy
-
with Jabba slobbering
-
over Princess Leia
-
in her bikini :eyelash:
-
and delicious buns..
-
dripping white gooey
-
elmers glue with...
-
pastel sprinkles and
-
lots of glitter
-
all over her
-
taut and glistening
-
big toe which
-
Jawas had stomped
-
before they threw
-
a log on
-
a dying fire.
-
Back on Earth,
-
Mister Rogers said
-
Hello, naked neighbor!
-
Let me show
-
you my machinery
-
in the shed
-
where I keep
-
shaving cream for
-
shaving your pubes
-
and eating them
-
from a large
-
WAFFLE CONE WITH
-
vanilla and chocolate
-
coated nipple rings
-
that were actually
-
worn by natives
-
through their testicles
-
shaved clean with
-
chicken wire and
-
cold tomato soup
-
, stinging the cuts
-
which made them
-
inflamed and infected
-
with cooties from
-
mutant bearded dragons
-
hatched far away
-
in another time
-
on a different
-
planet with purple
-
maggots riding tricycles
-
and doing cartwheels
-
until they fell
-
into the abyss.
-
Giant one-eyed flying
-
purple people eater
-
who only eats
-
vegetarian meals, weird.
-
Who knows why
-
Megatron married Bumblebee
-
? It must be
-
she said to
-
Magnetron, "because I'm ...
-
not getting younger
-
and with child
-
makes for some
-
formal relation." Magnetron
-
was sorely disappointed
-
realising his vasectomy
-
was a dream! :o
-
. Nightmares of castration
-
swirled in his
-
oversized noggin as
-
dreams of sugarplums
-
morphed into deadly
-
meatballs in gravy
-
with buttered noodles
-
. It was so
-
quiet that monkeys
-
heard the fleas
-
nibbling on their
-
nipples, it itched
-
the itch until
-
they fell off
-
, sniffing dog blood
-
and licking cat
-
spit and other
-
gross bodily fluids
-
. Suddenly, rabid rabbits
-
went ballistic and
-
belatedly balked at
-
chasing dogs who
-
barked belligerently at
-
chaotic cats. They
-
the cats, mercifully
-
clawed effective and
-
meaningful scratch marks
-
all over the
-
face of the
-
dogs who howled
(had to scroll back to remember who was after the cats :P )
-
at the moon
-
during the day
-
of reckoning for
-
those who sinned
-
against Mother Nature
-
and Father Time
-
who knocked up
-
Santa Claus' wife
-
in the backseat
-
of a Studebaker
-
on Blueberry Hill
-
overlooking the drive-in
-
showing Godzilla movies
Reference to my childhood! :headbang2:
-
in the background
-
with buttered popcorn
-
Sat Godzilla himself
-
painting his toenails
-
With Razorbeard's brainfluid
-
in preparation for
-
the big funeral
-
in the museum
-
of Natural History
-
in Washington DC.
-
Suddenly, flying saucers
-
of milk and
-
cookies smashed into
-
a million pieces
-
on the top
-
of a marshmallow
-
ruining the s'mores
-
that were oozing
-
their chocolatey goodness
-
On funeral guests
-
there to see
-
rats gorging on
-
various cheeses from
-
fancy French restaurants
-
in East Lancashire
-
, not East Lansing.
-
In East Lansing
-
where the buffalo
-
roam the streets
-
during Mardi Gras
-
and Halloween, Lemurs
-
recruited by the
-
CIA to kidnap
-
small children wearing
-
Hannah Montana underwear
-
and Thomas pyjamas
-
with footies and
-
laughing hysterically as
-
miniature donkeys strolled
-
dragging rotten corpses
-
. The Spanish inquisition
-
was a blast
-
of tear gas
-
and gun fire
-
except twas not
-
only firecrackers being
-
imagined as well
-
Upon waking from
-
a long coma
-
then falling out
-
of barrels of
-
greasy gooey slime
-
covered golf balls
-
but no golf
-
was being played!
-
Suddenly there appeared
-
Canpain Kangaroo and
-
Mr. Rogers with
-
wearing Speedos while
-
flipping his bananahammock
Mr. Roger with wearing Speedos while
???
-
into ze pooooool
-
which was yellowed
-
by first graders
-
who poured lemonade
-
into Cartman's trunks
-
while Kyle dumped
-
Mr Hankey into
-
Kenny's Port-a-Pot behind
-
Stan's sister's dollhouse
-
But I digress,
-
as often happens
-
on windy Thursdays
-
and sunny Fridays
-
when Santa laughs
-
into his beard
-
it gets dirty
-
with phlegm and
-
and food remnants.
-
The elves laughed
-
at the midgets
-
who kicked them
-
right in the
-
outer office while
-
the penguins flew
-
quite clumsily around
-
that will be
-
like a Kamikaze
-
trout swimming upstream
-
against the current
-
political climate in
-
in Lower Bumbleskin
-
across from Bumblefuck
-
where Bumbles bounce
-
at the bottom
-
and slowly drown
-
in pools of
-
broken toys and
-
coloured Lego blocks
-
discarded by elves
-
lazy little buggers
-
that Santa fired
-
on Christmas day
-
last year. Rudolph
-
was a bitch
-
and got pwned
-
so many times
-
by Dasher and
-
Dancer and Donner
-
and Bob Vila
-
on his show...
-
couldn't get hard
-
despite the stunning
-
success of his...
-
recently healed surgery
-
on richard's Peter
-
he hammered giant
-
nails into it
-
spraying spunky sputum
-
sporadically showering swans
-
suspiciously shackled to
-
the oak tree
-
with yellow ribbons
-
holding them upright
-
signalling a goal
-
of cooking them
-
in support of
-
people wearing trusses
-
and busses transporting
-
hot naked ladies
-
for Trigger11's pleasure
-
and good sleep
-
indeed! Meanwhile, President
-
is jerking off
-
to boob pictures
-
that he found
-
mysteriously sticky and
-
covered in cinnamon
-
hidden under the
-
flaps of their
-
old wooden house
-
built in Dublin
-
in the 60's
-
and partly cloudy
-
from exposing colon
-
cancer causing bacteria
-
into the atmosphere
-
where penguns flew
-
which was impossible
-
except in Narnia
-
where fantasy rules...
-
are invoked by
-
the ugly witch
-
because of a...
-
hamburger and fries
-
and cherry coke
-
with peach ice
-
was too expensive
-
for the Leprechaun
-
and his missus
-
with three boobs
-
all size 44LL
-
and one teeninetesy
-
bottle of Chardonnay
-
discretely hidden in
-
the secret hole
-
covered in layers
-
of whipped cream
-
that had gone........
-
unnoticed by the
-
loss of conciousness
-
induced by ultrasonic
-
soundwaves from stereos
-
and alien weapons
-
That were stored
-
in fat folds
-
of gigantic kangaroo
-
And they exploded
-
into a thousand
-
more deadly weapons
-
grade plutonium eggs
-
and scramble them
-
but they exploded
-
into the air.....
-
raining shit everywhere
-
ruining a fine....
-
pair of shoes
-
and soaking his...
-
cruller and coffee
-
which he threw...
-
through the window
-
of his coupe
-
while driving hundred
-
kilometers an hour
-
on Belgian cobblestones
-
and listening to
-
their frightened parakeets
-
as night closes
-
upon wettened wings
-
they huddle together
-
savoring fresh blood
-
and oatmeal cookies
-
only to puke
-
exposed to cookies
-
The rivers slowly
-
evaporated, leaving only
-
a single tooth
-
embedded in bone
-
, exposed to the
-
blazing sun. Then
-
Murphy's Law applied
-
, thunder struck, trees
-
fell, and then,
-
fine feathered birds
-
rose in the
-
fragrant garlic fields
-
off to the
-
left of Oz
-
enriched by their
-
abundant mineral content.
-
Richard screamed silently
-
It was a dark and stormy night...
-
and around the
-
campfire, tempers flared
-
fisticuffs soon followed
-
, temperatures rose to
-
almost Siberian lows
-
while everyone was
-
protecting frozen beheinies.
-
From the Booty..
-
of the Black Hole of Calcutta
-
of the Black Hole of Calcutta
FAIL! Math fail. :autism:
-
though it made....
-
horrendous farting noises
-
which repulsed everyone
-
and attracted Razorbeard
-
who`s a fart
-
sniffing son of
-
his long-suffering parents
-
. A genie came
-
in Razorbeards mouth
-
fulfilling the wish
-
and his brain
-
had a thought
-
which was then
-
which was then
dead of loneliness
-
off it went
-
into the void
-
where other brainfarts
-
go to die
-
but the genie
-
ejaculated once more
-
a second thought
-
Into General Razorbeard.
-
the sticky boy
-
waiting for others
-
taking their places
-
at the banquet
-
soon spoke of....
-
unspeakable acts of
-
good and worthy
-
participants in bukkake
-
, but the zippers
-
caught his thing
-
like Popeye's thumb
-
Meantime, at Barney's
-
purple milkshakes were
-
Laced with cyanide
-
and killed everyone
-
Funeral Directors anticipated
-
a food fight
-
in the cafeteria
-
that would result
-
in sodomy between
-
peaches and cucumbers
-
but the carrots
-
did their thing
-
In General Razorbeard's
-
Buffalo cum milkshake
-
Mozzarella never tasted
-
quite as pollywoggy
-
or as gross
-
dissecting kittens for
-
scientific and slaughterhouse
-
midnight candlelight meals
-
served cold and...
-
like good revenge
-
served with Salmonella
-
The laughs were.....
-
changing into ghastly
-
heart stabbings as
-
the flatulence resounded
-
and Mary laughed
-
"phew,it stinks."
-
Upon his return,
-
to fresh air
-
eyes still burning
-
from coffee stench
-
GANGSTA FELCHING SLUTBEAST
-
genuflected to eris
-
not an heiress
-
or Anna Faris
-
while in Paris
-
Texas, of course
-
but speaking French
-
which he learned
-
alone at home
-
with Rosetta Stone
-
to speak fluently
-
on the streets
-
of Paris, France! :eiffel:
-
where they eat
-
greasy toad legs
-
made from soy
-
and wart sauce
-
from witch faces
-
which reminded him
-
that he forgot
-
to boil the
-
three toed sloth
-
shaped tofu cake
-
Meanwhile, back at the Batcave...
-
the sleepers stirred
-
and slowly got
-
Butt cheeks apart
-
dog killing fuck
-
forever doomed to
-
extreme butthole status
-
waking up screaming
-
DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIYIM!!!!!!!
-
twitching to music
-
writhing and moaning
-
Until first light
-
they collected the
-
severed arms and
-
various assorted toiletries
-
and celebrated victory
-
while they played
-
with big round
-
butts couldn't lie
-
but nobody knew
-
old scratch was
-
uncomfortable in pink
-
course woollen underwear
-
ex post facto
-
under his kaftan
-
under Jagger's thumb
-
It was beginning
-
to appear as
-
everyone was naked
-
while California Dreamin
-
on such a
-
Winters day, all
-
hippies on acid
-
electric koolaid Kesey
-
the heavens opened
-
like discordant tambourines
-
as they do
-
from far away
-
over the rainbow
-
kicking Tinman's ass
-
while dorothy slowly
-
pulled down her
-
bottom lip over
-
the top one
-
which was disappointing :zoinks:
-
dropping knickers would
-
have been better
-
had she not
-
secretly been Doris
-
who already had
-
a severe std
-
and indecency convictions
-
for unspeakable acts
-
in public places
-
painful rectal itching
-
with yellowed fingernails
-
and fresh mustache
-
she stood rigid
-
like rigor mortis
-
'yes' she yelled
-
"put it there"
-
on the counter
-
smothered in custard
-
"sound's tasty" said
-
a yawning camel
-
wearing gabardine panties
-
under Mubarak's longing
-
''Lets go dancing''
-
they played ABBA
-
whilst squatting over
-
discounted fillet steak
-
from premium horse
-
Their guns cocked
-
their cocks gunned
-
intermittent friendly fire
-
creating slip hazards
-
for the cleaners
-
on Valentine's Day
-
This has to be the longest run-on sentence in world history. :facepalm2:
-
back to story
-
three blind mice
-
got fucked by.....
-
Pentagram in drag
-
his ass spluttered
-
making freckles on
-
tightly clenched buttocks
-
and funny noises
-
it tasted nasty
-
while burning eyes
-
over the altar
-
trapezoid with goat
-
with no teeth
-
poor little goat
-
now its dribbling
-
blood on the
-
rusty bullet hole
-
clean the gun!
-
wearing rubber gloves
-
stolen from work
-
what a pair
-
clanging whilst walking
-
suddenly, from nowhere
-
sharp scissors arcing
-
over the graveyard
-
a full moon
-
lit up her
-
so that she
-
could stop squinting
-
while taking off
-
blobs of manfat
-
that Pentagram's professor
-
uses in class
-
to gain compliance
-
in bondage lessons
-
learned from eris
-
assisted by Squiddy :squiddy:
-
who appeared from
-
the Atlantic Ocean
-
during mighty winds
-
we cooked his
-
liver spotted undercarriage
-
frozen pizzas in
-
a George Foreman
-
with hollandaise sauce
-
creating a culinary
-
fish paste delight
-
Then rage destroyed
-
the microwave because
-
it talked back
-
with an attitude
-
So he punched
-
its microwavey face
-
wearing silky panties
-
and fairy wings
-
tweaking their nipples
-
still no radio
-
for Justin Beiber
-
could be tonsilitus
-
his sucky singing?
-
just wishful thinking >:D
-
Lets start again
-
there once was
-
an ugly duckling
-
somewhat Weeble shaped
-
you could never
-
be ugly because
-
you write beautiflly!
-
i meant this
(http://www.deviantart.com/download/127256844/The_Ugly_Duckling_by_Alephunky.jpg)
-
Weeble-duckling says thanks :green:
-
hugs that duckling
-
removes the bag
-
from his head
-
(i know it's cute innit? back to the plot)
name was Vera
-
geeky and smart
-
sexy webbed feet
-
a fine swimmer
-
no socks needed
-
Chinese cook likeee
-
in orange sauce
-
cute orange weeble-duck :P
-
went to shops
-
to find shoes
-
and a snorkel
-
for her bill
-
I feel pretty! :cheer:
-
annoying Broadway song
-
You've heard worse :P
-
back on topic
-
That's unnecessary here :orly:
-
the kitten pounced
-
on the ball
-
smothered in snot
-
rhinovirus infected snot
-
Rage protects it
-
it looks hungry
-
for fried calamari
-
served with chianti
-
taken with Cialis
-
Call your doctor
-
if you experience
-
an erection lasting
-
over 4 hours! :zombiefuck:
-
can't beat that
-
methinks i'd be
-
just too busy
-
hating certain ones
-
by using voodoo
-
in glorious technicolour
-
promoting scat fetish
-
Just then, suddenly
-
a methane quotum
-
engulfed buckingham palace
-
and Lit was
-
Instructing the queen
-
about anal behaviors
-
and golden showers
-
and old grandpas
-
bickering over socks
-
The queen, frustrated,
-
asked Lit whether
-
"any batteries Lit?"
-
Lithium batteries your
-
Highness, they fit
-
perfectly in your
-
anal probing device
-
suddenly, a tremendous
-
loud fanny fart
-
caught Queenies attention
-
she stopped playing
-
with her battery
-
operated wiggley worm
-
And cats invaded
-
the whole Buckingham
-
in velvet catsuits
-
and defeated the
-
queens own infantry
-
Then they danced
-
a belly dance
-
among the catnip
-
smokin hashish pipes
-
while chasing butterflies.
-
suddenly darkness fell
-
but rage appeared
-
quickly lubing up
-
with crunchy peanutbutter
-
liberally applied with
-
steel wool and
-
a homemade catapult
-
launched the mighty
-
golden nipple rings
-
ripped off violently
-
off wrinkley grannies
-
clad only in
-
see through panties
-
a prosthetic cock
-
and fluoro socks.
-
At that point,
-
the sock robbers
-
Dotsy and Stinky
-
Siamese twin ladyboys
-
presenting their Gimp
-
with a new
-
Husqvarna Chainsaw Dildo.
-
earlier that day
-
From pentas ass
-
Husqvarna chainsaw dildo
-
With worn brushes
-
and a sporran
-
destroyed the house
-
with a Husqvarna chaisaw dildo
-
many hours later,
-
in the darkness
-
Prince Charles lurked
-
from his old
-
brown ford cortina
-
that was hidden
-
under queenies dress
-
A silver Sporan? ???
-
complained about the
-
Starfish in his
-
stained nylon underpants
-
Couldn't afford rayon
-
since taking paycut
-
finished active duty
-
like he deserved
-
Haggis for dinner
-
and breakfast too
-
in the loo
-
packed with pensioners
-
and seedy prisoners
-
with upset stomaches
-
wearing tea towels
-
and sanitary napkins
-
because they were
-
rust red colored
-
and already soiled
-
more taste, less
-
mess, just 'lumpy'
-
like bad oatmeal
-
regurgitated down nostril
-
sickening, but unavoidably
-
tasty any way
-
for those without
-
any stomache bile
-
to cause jaundice
-
and cauliflower ears
-
and broccoli farts
-
throughout bible recital
-
with dizzy blondes
-
painful rectal itch
-
of ge Daffyduck
-
but then suddenly
-
a backscratcher appeared
-
all dripping with
-
aspergers nudity cumshot
-
oozing and bubbling
-
Like Razor's skin :orly:
-
sebaceous glands amok
-
magically appeared a
-
Husqvarna chainsaw dildo
-
because Husqvarna is :viking:
-
but some find
-
it slightly aggressive
-
preferring tinky winkeys
-
instead of those
-
boobs boobs boobs
-
in amputee porn
-
and granny sex
-
and zoophilia that
-
Pentagram engages in
-
after soiling himself
-
with anal sex
-
in the pig
-
who felt nothing
-
stealth mode bestiality
-
was his speciality
-
on the weekend
-
but on monday's
-
emetophilia was preferred
-
tuesday's treat was
-
much more deviant
-
requiring several victims
-
and three gallons
-
of putrified manfat
-
to lubricate the
-
already tortured gimp
-
playing with myself
-
with a giant
-
roll of pink
-
dental floss. Forgetting
-
everything else but
-
not oral hygeine
-
because tooth brushing
-
is serious business.
-
Not unlike the
-
botty burping business
-
which leads to
-
looking up skirts
-
to check the
-
length of the
-
protruding bottom hair
-
just cut it.....
-
or dreadlocks maybe?
-
would be cool...
-
when hanging upside-down
-
from the rafters...
-
singing YMCA loudly
-
and pissing upside
-
creepy stalker psycopath
-
suddenly, a loud
-
moan distracted the
-
Salvation Army Choir
-
singing Christmas carols
-
on Easter Sunday
-
soiling themselves collectively
-
in absense of.....
-
tight leather shorts
-
Tampons and fruitcake
-
and halter tops
-
it ended abruptly
-
when the :viking: Lit
-
carefully hoisted up
-
the flag of....
-
the red cross
-
and denounced firearms
-
up grannies passage
-
onward and upward
-
They started driving
-
the downhill grade
-
the hillside trail
-
but forgot to
-
maintain a storyline
-
so started again
-
wishing he hadn't
-
seen his grandma
-
naked and amorous
-
checking the fridge
-
Holding a cucumber
-
batting her eyelashes.
-
Husqvarna chaisaw dildo
-
while grandad fiddled
-
while grandad fiddled
With his sausage
-
while Duke watched
-
and Duke left
-
after soiling himself
-
and posting pics
-
wearing nothing but
-
a pink tutu
-
under his burkha
-
as he shouted
-
"get off my............."
-
.....shag pile carpet!"
-
"and leave my....."
-
....tight leather shorts"
-
44 inch waistline
-
very snappy dresser
-
for Bumblefuck Missouri
-
, said the toad!
-
No answer. Suddenly ...
-
a giant red
-
head jumped out
-
of Obama's foreskin ,
-
she was slimey
-
with pink hair
-
on her chest
-
and green boobs
-
dragging on floor
-
mats attached to
-
a naked midget
-
wrapped in bacon
-
singing eighties tunes
-
while showering. Meanwhile
-
her gabadine panties
-
with lacy cutouts
-
were eaten off
-
by grandma and
-
her three sisters
-
with three-hundred cats
-
with three-hundred cats
purring like Ferraris
-
while Odeon's Jag
-
spluttered and stopped
-
Diesel was needed
-
'where's the garage?'
-
The Viking attacked
-
The Saints defended.
-
the magpies scored
-
Little piggy went...
-
wee wee wee
(dirty little piggy)
-
into the fountain
-
Shit! It's empty
-
exclaimed the mouse!
-
to the grouse
-
on the fence
-
with six pence
-
then he died
-
but was resurrected
-
in grandpa's trousers
-
where a snake
-
was nibbling nuts
-
and licking others
-
Suddenly, someone howled
-
at HIS moon
-
everyone stood still
-
and Safety Danced
-
till they puked
-
on Billy Idol
-
busily wanking policemen
-
who sweat, sweat
-
orgasmic scented pheromones
-
singing rule britannia
-
encyclopedias, written by
-
richard and Pentagram
-
along with TCO
-
All along wishing.....
-
Santa Claus would
-
soon be bare
-
of his presents
-
and knckers and
-
inserting his toe
-
Into Rudolph's ass
-
while santa filmed
-
gay elven porn
-
he couldn't wait
-
for chocolate eclairs
-
and a coke
-
and meth cocktail
-
along with a...
-
shot of estrogen
-
into his willie
-
Wonka candy bar
-
which he gobbled
-
and dribbled over
-
like Linda Lovelace
-
and her hairy
-
arse. A loud
-
noise permeated the
-
eye catching event
-
horizon from the
-
mammoth great opening
-
of a blackhole
-
in Time and
-
a huge stench
-
of rowdy jeers
-
enveloped everything within
-
earshot of the....
-
cries of richard
-
and his GIANT
-
overly inflated ego
-
while grandma waited
-
patiently by the
-
huge throbbing cock
-
she gripped it
-
between her ass-cheeks
-
and crushed it
-
It started dripping
-
Lucozade and Whiskey
-
from her slippery
-
pattern size 18
-
gussetless mohair pantaloons
-
purchased at Target
-
with bullet holes
-
for the calamine
-
lotion to be
-
applied with bigfuckingpeters.
-
which richard webcammed
-
across the internet
-
Suddenly, a loud
-
outburst of laughter
-
came from Shleed
-
and was heard
-
by absolutely nobody
-
living in constantinople
-
but in Ireland
-
the leprechauns danced
-
on his head
-
holding large puddings
-
topped with whipped
-
cream and four
-
dribbly, rusty holes
-
. The next day,
-
everyone woke up
-
and said, "Who
-
the fuck shat
-
in TCO's mouth?
-
Grandma looked guilty
-
as a nun
-
hiding a cock!
-
in a frock!
-
wearing comedy breasts
-
that squirt mayonnaise
-
at passing strangers
-
surprised that anyone
-
disliked it's warmth
-
and stickiness, because
-
and foul smell
-
the foul smell
permeated his nostrils
-
that were shaped
-
oddly like triangles
-
filled with yummy
-
, crumbly boogers and
-
vanilla fudge squares
-
, crusted nasal hair
-
, and smores. Suddenly,
-
incontinence returned for
-
shart at dinner
-
unable to hold
-
while breaking bread
-
pissed all over
-
the Tiffany furniture
-
and Tiffany was
-
pissed off more
-
by the raccoon
-
that kept humping
-
incessantly her bajing-jing
-
until red raw
-
sausage was inserted
-
between some buns
-
doused in milky
-
white man fat
-
. Dumbo was outraged
-
and started leaking
-
alcohol and oil
-
on salvation army
-
volunteers and their
-
Jehovah's Witness friends
-
who were masturbating
-
with George Michael
-
and George W
-
Bush pleading "more"
-
dick Cheney, more!!!
-
exhausted, they finally
-
ended the circlejerk
-
satisfied.
The End
-
Once upon a...
-
counter, far, far
-
in the ancient
-
brown Ford Zepha
-
that bodie drove
-
to White Castle
-
somewhere near Paignton
-
nearly missing a
-
Red Morris maxi
-
-pad with butterflies
-
and tangy ketchup
-
i wanted wings :zoinks:
-
and barbecue sauce
-
but Paul McCartney
-
exhumed Ringo Starr
-
who wasn't dead
-
after being reanimated
-
in Hentai style
-
guide for wayward
-
Parakeets who chirped
-
a rap prayer
-
written in Swahili
-
-German hybrid language
-
understood by no one....
-
except Ringo Starr
-
and his old
-
pal Ronald McDonald
-
rubbing his enormous
-
cheeseburger and fires
-
up the barbecue
-
pit and spraying
-
noxious fumes out
-
his red shoes
-
. His head exploded
-
with dark forbodings
-
and even nastier
-
visions of Wrongplanet
-
with Richard's big
-
fucking Peters rising
-
from Alex's imagination
-
who's alex then
-
a beautiful doll :booty:
-
screamed in horror
-
from her chatterbox
-
something in german
-
Ich wunsche geschlect
-
Schwein gebunden Erniedrigung
-
Blahung am Donnerstag
-
too much germansausage?
-
something about Thursday
-
never on Wednesday
-
when names are
-
only spoken backwards
-
mus ogre otigoc
-
is some jibberish
-
Many fail to
-
rap about. Meanwhile
-
texts were sent
-
cogito ergo sum
-
written in latin
-
Igpay atinlay easeplay
-
ouyay inesway ouyay
-
itebay emay enchway :2thumbsup:
-
ymay umblehay apologiesway :zoinks:
-
isskay ughay opegray :woohoo:
-
isskay ymay assway >:D
-
mean birds abound :laugh:
-
:clap: anyway, back to
-
our favorite thread
-
We last left.....
-
our marbles at
-
the Hook premiere
-
where a Weeble :snowman:
-
wobbled wearing white
-
looking most angelic :angel:
-
to drunks only :2thumbsup:
-
who respect her :zoinks:
-
the morning after :zoinks:
-
she serves coffee :coffee:
-
to prestigious houseguests
-
feeling so houseproud :multitask:
-
until the budgie
-
Pooped on the
-
silver serving tray
-
from which they
-
served the cookies :sick:
-
and ice cream
-
but the Weeble
-
wobbled, but didn't
-
quite fall down. :thumbup:
-
Until, of course
-
more visitors arrived :orly:
-
and knocked her
-
on her butt! :laugh:
-
with severed limbs
8)
-
But she bounced
-
Not THIS Weeble! :P
-
the other weeble
-
What other Weeble? :orly:
-
THAT other weeble
*points at nothing*
-
A phantom Weeble? :orly:
-
is very dangerous :O
-
Invisibly wobbling around ... :hide:
-
in the mirror :autism:
-
sending text messages
-
in defense of
-
women's lib movement :zoinks:
-
by exposing his
-
cover as santa!
-
Busted, he decided
-
to jack it
-
for a one-man-band :zoinks:
(i know i am cheating.. :zoinks:)
-
he started with
-
his skin flute
-
made of rubber
-
and sheep skin
-
peanut butter dog
-
eating Vegemite sandwiches
-
land down under
-
fried out Kombi
-
Bryant, Aussie Basketball's
-
incredible shrimp, soon......
-
had calamari with
-
that fucking squid
-
sauce, we all
-
lifted our frocks
-
above your head :thumbup:
-
"what's that dangling"?
-
toward your knee?
-
Run, Squiddy, run! :zombiefuck:
-
but he tripped
-
but he tripped
and splatted down
-
dropped girl drink
-
, a Chocolate Martini
-
on the divan
-
Get club soda! :GA:
-
exclaimed Miss Pross
-
Clean the stain! :orly:
-
Gross sex stain
-
No! Chocolate martini. :angel:
-
shaken, not stirred
-
, cherry on top,
-
ready to pick
-
nose if needed
-
because boogers are
-
considered a delicacy
-
when replacing escargoes
-
or fat slugs
-
in Northern France
-
or fat slags
-
are very cuddly
-
after 6 beers
-
but thin ones
-
have prickly bones
-
and change subjects.
-
Aunty Edna screamed
-
eardrums ruptured, while
-
the peeping tom
-
popped his peeper.
-
when the piper
-
raised his kilt
-
,peeing on pies
-
which tasted like
-
what you'd imagine
-
if absorbing hallucinogenics
-
were directly injected
-
using a suppository
-
A loud botty-burp
-
gross flatulent expulsion
-
tire blowoit sound
-
that reverberated across
-
ten Downing St
-
startling Boris Johnson
-
blowdrying his hair
-
into stinking frizz
-
afro suited boris :lol:
-
went to Cockfosters
-
wearing tartan hot-pants
-
and Birkenstock shoes
-
and hi-vis socks :zoinks:
-
prancing mightily forward
-
humming the soundtrack
-
the movie Grease
-
he liked Travolta
-
in tight pants :shamone:
-
Meanwhile at home
-
In the Palace
-
cooking some gruel
-
which she hated
-
to share with
-
Peter Popper's penguins
-
. Grandpa wiped dribble
-
off his todger
-
inadvertently splashing the
-
tadpoles on the
-
aquarium Peter built
-
obscuring the view
-
of his enormous
-
big screen television...
-
only showing Teletubbies
-
over and over....
-
showing The Waltons
-
saying, "Night John Boy"
-
see ya soon
-
I hope not
-
if you're jim-bob
-
then Alice cried
-
gimme magic mushrooms!
-
in my diet...
-
of funghi. Suddenly
-
nature called, violently
-
"no loo roll?"
-
But nobody listened
-
until the botty-burp :zombiefuck:
-
all over the...
-
the newly weds
-
went to bed
-
and slept well!
-
in their own
-
dreams they fantasized
-
about breakfast tomorrow
-
chittlins and beans
-
with black pudding :o
-
bicarbonate of soda
-
and a beer....
-
for the mice
-
who were blind....
-
autistic laboratory critters
-
on holiday from....
-
the wilds of
-
a southern swamp
-
"Attention please" said
-
the waiter, who...
-
was busy waiting
-
for Gordon Ramsey
-
in pink lycra
-
hip-hugging toreador panties
-
with detachable gusset
-
a sewing impossibility
-
therefore riveted instead
-
just for comfort
-
and oldfashioned style...
-
he suddenly remembered
-
"The tea kettle!"
-
just in time
-
to pull out
-
granny's tea set
-
granny's tea set
and grandda too.
-
finest bone china
-
it was time....
-
for the biscuits
-
and tea with....
-
Phlegmish Painters documentary
-
debuting on BBC...
-
with boris johnson
-
and Margaret Thatcher
-
margret was horny
-
so boris obliged
-
being in arrears
-
like Binty's thread :eyebrows:
-
with the conservative
-
politicians and clergymen :christ:
-
Shapeshifting sheep shaggers
-
awestruck at alliteration :orly:
-
brought bodie begonias
-
commenced carpet cleaning
-
Bodi is overwhelmed
-
She deserves it. :hug:
-
no she doesn't :hahaha:
-
Or does she?
-
yes, I DO
*Bodi sadly thinks it is the only time in her life she gets
to say those words "I, DO" and goes back to her place
on the shelf*
-
she said to
-
The Three Stooges
-
, "Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!"
-
Larry is underrated :indeed:
-
, I mean berated,
-
but not hated
-
being integral to
-
proper gun maintenance :tooledup:
-
of water pistols
-
shaped like penises
-
that cum acid
-
and eat themselves
-
with lumpy custard
-
-filled tarts and
-
farts and whey
-
. Something erupted downstairs
-
between the legs
-
of the table
-
onto the floor....
-
of padded cell
-
inmate Perry Felcher
-
he raped children.
-
He loved piggies
-
but not sheep
-
allergic to wool
-
PPK shot him
-
an evil stare :zoinks:
-
an evil stare :zoinks:
than he died
-
Piggy was inconsolable
-
playing Terry Jacks
-
in the sun
-
rain and shine
-
but not fog
-
in the sky
-
like pizza pie
-
from Papa John`s
-
it was tasty
-
and fed all...
-
loaves and fishes
-
Totally
Causing
Oblivion
-
how very clever
-
he is to
-
stick it in
-
The USB port.
-
Try
Catching
Otters
-
while swimming naked
-
with giggling fairies
-
who tickle bottoms
-
with Flamingo feathers
-
pink and fluffy :cheer:
-
and good eats.
-
and good to eat.
That's four words. :P
-
and good to eat.
That's four words. :P
i have no idea what your talking about! :autism:
-
and good to eat.
That's four words. :P
i have no idea what your talking about! :autism:
Can you count? :zoinks:
-
and good to eat.
That's four words. :P
i have no idea what your talking about! :autism:
Can you count? :zoinks:
not when im on sleeping pills that dont work aparantly... but just to be sure this has been....17 words
-
Lily is pretty
-
she's my cat
-
I love her
-
she loves me
-
end of story
-
Cats are always
-
snuggling my lap
-
I will refrain
-
peanut butter dogs
-
spread thinly over
-
Ritz cheese crackers
-
{chemical name for titon here}
Antidisestablishmentarianism
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
-
Why retarded posting?
-
Why retarded posting?
three long words
-
ones a name
-
Ritz cheese crackers
with boiled Spam
-
hold the mayo
-
and add some
-
juicy Jalapeno peepers
(deliberate misspelling)
-
and poppers and
-
spin the bottle
-
kiss the granny
-
fuck the dog
-
with cherry stems
-
" i can't comply"
-
said grandma to......
-
the big bad
-
radioactive werewolf. " But ..
-
a giant toad
-
was eating me
-
and tickling my
-
supple genitals with
-
his leathery appendage
-
covered with choco-sause
-
licked off by
-
a stamp collector
-
with her gooey
-
wet ten inches
-
of droopy labia
-
dipped in creamy
-
rich ranch dressing
-
and topped with
-
toe nail clippings
-
from butterflies' teeth
-
. Several days later
-
she killed cats
-
with her looks
-
no i didn't
-
she professed nakedly
-
on all fours :P
-
while getting pounded
-
on web cam
-
as others watched
-
the discovery chanel
-
documentaries on sex
-
up dark alley's
-
behind a large
-
three legged pony
-
which has 2 legs
-
only when hopping
-
the bunny trail
-
into the bunny
-
in nylon underwear
-
stuck under there
-
attached is a
-
480 volt vibrator :vibe: :vibe: :vibe:
-
but its broken
-
"change the batteries"
-
a crow squawked
-
on getting shot
-
with errant semen
-
you mean SEAMEN
-
i meant acid
-
said the dog
-
to the chicken
-
the whore replyed "
-
"My spelling's inventive,"
-
She was wrong
-
for Mr. Right.
-
on a stick
-
insect. Suddenly a
-
chinese kid died
-
in a poem
-
or a Haiku
-
, i was joking
-
about the poem
-
or a Haiku
-
the kitchen sink
*cockney slang - and i bet no one will
'get' it! hehehe
-
"drink" - I am Queen of the Cockneys as well as the Cocks here.
without the glass
-
the kitchen sink
*cockney slang - and i bet no one will
'get' it! hehehe
everything but the
-
Bundy curse she
-
"drink" - I am Queen of the Cockneys as well as the Cocks here.
without the glass
it was "chink" actually, a reference to the dead chinese kid.
kitchen sink - slang for chink, as in chinky chinky china man
brandy snap - slang for Jap
i guess we have nothing better to do all day other than slurp tea and make up childish slang.
-
Brits are weird
-
and americans aren't?
-
subject is Brits :hahaha:
-
I'm into katoptronaphilia :zoinks:
-
now I'm confused ???
-
why the confusion?
-
you are confusing
-
it was unrelated
-
to this story :evillaugh:
-
can't find definition
-
needed to tell :blah:
-
tattle-tale, tattle-tale, tattle-tale
-
the priest proclaimed
-
at the buffalo
-
jumping off the
-
top of the
-
Eiffel Tower in
-
crushed velvet hotpants
-
with a big
-
with lacy bras
-
covering black hairy
-
nipples and testicles :zoinks:
-
being examined by
-
Tom Green and
-
a shifty looking
-
Aspie chick from
-
Aspies For Freedom*
Leave CBC unnamed
-
to be assholes
-
Aspies For Freedom*
Leave CBC unnamed
I saw that! :cbc:
-
Then she blushed
-
being sweetly modest :angel:
-
while hiding her
-
true evil intentions :mwhaha:
-
to bone every
-
chicken in Worcester.
-
chicken before cooking :fatchef:
-
that is fowl :chicken:
-
and disgustingly tasty
-
with tripe salad :lolwat:
-
served well chilled 8)
-
to the bone
-
made from fingers
-
The librarian shushed
-
the hooker who
-
was too noisy
-
while having sex
-
with the encyclopedia
-
and the dictionary
-
she was horny
-
and wobbly because
-
she drank tequila
-
while washing dishes
-
in the nude
-
or were it
-
more unusual to....
-
where (sic) richards underpants
-
fell on the.....
-
painted toe nails....
-
and tow trucks
(Naked Gun)
-
making no sense
-
whatso fucking ever
-
after and whatnot
-
telling dirty secrets
-
, posting nude pictures,
-
of hospital nurses
-
where (sic) richards underpants
nasty crusty panties :zombiefuck:
-
scrubbing stubborn stains
-
penty masturbating again
-
on web cam
-
lost my lunch
:puke:
-
. I need a
-
bucket, for projectile
-
chicken vindaloo sick
-
with feathers attached
-
attracting big flies
-
and bigger roaches
-
like certain people
-
on the table
-
of love, when
-
the band played
-
her old favorite
-
Having My Baby
-
What a wonderful
-
world this would
-
be over and
-
over and over
-
till she screamed
-
"Its an alien"
-
then she ran
-
on the rocks
-
and she jumped
-
to a fiery......
-
molten lava pit.
-
Warming her feet,
-
, hairy hobbit feet,
-
bodie no wax :hahaha:
-
on wax off
-
huh brazilian, actually :zoinks:
-
beeswax and honey
-
bee buzzing in
-
places unknown and
-
searching for earwigs
-
. They like mysterious
-
balls of fluff
-
to land upon
-
jam covered bodies
-
fur and jam!!!
-
What a mess!!!!!!!!
-
around your botty :booty:
-
lick it off
-
before it congeals
-
a wight
-
entered the picture
-
entering the Otherverse....
-
with delicate wings
-
fluttering as they
-
beat the drums
-
marching in time
-
around the bend
-
to find themselves
-
in deeeeeeeeeeeep doo-doo.
-
of horrid vapor
-
while being attacked
-
by herons, defecating
-
copius diarrheal dribbles
-
on Welsh folk
-
during the Scottish
-
shit spewing contest
-
which the English
-
are always victorious :viking:
-
Whilst, back in
-
Grimsby it was
-
pouring with rain
-
and smelling fishy
-
whilst the invading
-
morons smoke pot
-
morons smoke pot
What was that
-
the nightingale sang
-
and dived into
-
ouch! some nettles
-
Only that wasn't
-
his slippery gloryhole
-
it was - shock -
-
and whipped cream
-
dripping from his
-
whipping rod, while
-
the mistress swung
-
her broom through
-
the air &....
-
poked him in.......
-
his glory hole!
-
which caused extreme....
-
anal itching, thankfully
-
he had soothing...
-
cake mix to
-
ease the pain. :fun dance:
-
His unsavoury activities
-
appalled & disgusted
-
ladies buying cake
-
especially delicious cupcakes!
-
, brussel sprout jellies,
-
& cucumber lollies...
-
to stuff in........
-
meadows cake hole
-
In other news
-
three nuns were....
-
playing with a
-
blues band on.....
-
an altar with
-
an altar with
three priests in
-
padded bra's and
-
pink mini skirts
-
with matching pink
-
toe shoes which
-
were badly scuffed
-
The nuns were
-
out of habit
-
unzipping Beelzebub's flies
-
and feeling him
-
balls and taint
-
His penis erect
-
like the statue
-
His asscheeks were
-
bruised by the
-
The clergymen's penises. :penis:
-
called Gabriel's Horn
-
to blow up
-
so it could
-
melt into oblivion.
-
In other news,
-
a storm erupted
-
Lighting hit my
-
skull, and enlightenment
-
dimmed and faded
-
I stood out......
-
among the crowd
-
telling them about
-
my bionic abilities
-
six billion dollars
-
later, I am
-
naked and destitute
-
like last Sunday.
-
in the paupers
-
grave with lassie
-
peanut butter dog
-
and his enormous
-
eyes and ears.
-
1954 Ford Fairlane
-
was his choice
-
Dice Clay driving
-
people nuts over...
-
peas and walls
-
. Suddenly, a blizzard
-
appeared 8 reindeer
-
with glowing red
-
eyes. wearing sunglasses
-
Maui Jim brand
-
danced to the...
-
Gloria Estefan music
-
coming from the.....
-
calliope as it
-
rolled down the....
-
road. Meantime back
-
at Buckingham Palace
-
a tiff between
-
Phil and Lizzy
-
about Anne and
-
her strap-on cock
-
purple, and stallion
-
four hour erection
-
. Saddle-sore and exhausted
-
she gave the
-
filled up condom
-
from the strap-on.....
-
to Princess Margaret
-
to serve with
-
intense obsequious suckassery
-
whilst smoking cigars
-
and drinking cognac.
-
wearing a cravat
-
and pinstripe slacks
-
and pink blouses
-
to cover up
-
darkened sticky stains
-
over chest wigs
-
Ron Jeremy comes
-
and smears it
-
in the face
-
of Prince Philip
-
who deftly ducked
-
while Sherlock Holmes
-
painful rectal itch
-
made him yelp
-
blimey, fucking roids
-
while swollen todger
-
dripped slimy goo
-
a viscous pooling
-
Which morped into
-
a drooling smegmathrope
-
. Somewhere else a
-
wildcat did growl
-
at the hyena
-
who laughed and
-
shed crocodile tears
-
with last word :hahaha:
-
spoken in Urdu
-
language of Lichtenstein
-
Guatamala, and Wales
-
harpooned by Japanese
-
geisha's on holiday
-
just before Ramadan
-
drinking calva from
-
horn of plenty
-
and then farted
-
creating nicotine stain
-
On a bear
-
in a trance
-
underpants in France
-
soapy titty wanks
-
mmmmmhhh titty wank :hyke:
-
sobbed inadequate bodie :bigcry:
-
cute butted one :thumbup:
-
takes a bow :worship:
-
, ties it around
-
her pinky finger
-
which she inserts
-
in his nostril
-
oozing with maggots
-
and festering with....
-
marx's magic mushrooms
-
marx's magic mushrooms
had gone sour
-
like his micro-penis
-
like his micro-penis
which remains flaccid
-
and rarely used
-
and rarely used
often laughed at
-
reserved for teddy
-
who had a
-
hole cut out
-
(a tiny hole)
-
and barely visible
-
to the naked
-
hole that was
-
more than naked
-
it was visible
-
and still naked
-
feeling embarrassed they
-
ran really fast
-
down the street
-
where danglies wobbled :penis:
-
and shook in....
-
their staggering nakedness
-
. Suddenly, temperatures plummeted
-
causing massive shrinkage
-
then growth, alternating
-
until the explosion
-
that flung walrus'
-
up into space
-
with a rifle
-
and still naked
-
and still naked
they shot stars
-
with artillery cannons
-
and still naked
-
so very naked
-
and very chilly
-
inside the darkened
-
dead hooker's apartment
-
he stopped, and
-
called his mother
-
called his mother
while hiding meth
-
under his nutsack
-
it kept falling
-
falling and falling
-
in love with
-
pink bubble gum
-
and diet coke
-
even Martha Stewart
-
But then suddenly
-
the worm turned
-
and resolutely said:
-
"it's my party"
-
then exposed his
-
deftness of foot
-
and penis sheath
-
was a technological
-
contraption. But then
-
aliens aliens aliens
-
and naked ones
-
mutilated a cow
-
with a hatchet
-
severing the carotid
-
with sharpened sheath
-
and crusty teeth
-
licking taint underneath
-
the fucking end
-
now the sequel
-
lethal weapon 12
-
. But then something
-
that eats babies
-
felt real lonely
-
, so it sang:
-
:violin: Oh water tide...
-
Oh floods beside...
-
The harrowing gate...
-
Oh, such ingrate...
-
:smashviolin:
He is interrupted
-
by one corrupted
-
with rich creamy
-
cadbury hot chocolate
-
and easter eggs
-
from fluffy bunnies
-
at the playboy
-
mansion. Nobody knew
[you people suck at punctuation]
-
tHat, punctuation Sucks
-
thick meaty cocks
-
bleached for aesthetics
-
and hung out
-
to dry, on
-
each bell chime
-
until thoroughly bleached
-
like discoloured cocks
-
. <--Period] So he decided
-
to summon a
-
duck, and uttered "
-
Cry havoc! And
-
fly!" He took
-
off his shoes
-
and threw them
-
at the duck
-
who then ducked
-
behind the dock.
-
getting fupped duck
-
we go yuck
-
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck
-
W T F
-
i am constipated.
-
go on, shit
-
said the heroin
-
dealer. Meanwhile, batman
-
was killing hookers.
-
and snorting coke
-
Punctuation is important.
-
Even to the....
-
chronically late misspellers
-
, ne'er do wellers
-
slow bank tellers
-
and downtown jailers
-
and male mailers.
-
Meanwhile, in Iran
-
occurs a coup... :viking:
-
Ladies and gentlemen
-
we now own
-
the entirety of
-
the worlds vast
-
itchy bum holes
-
all to ourselves!
-
not to show
-
dup di dap!
-
no longer fun.
-
Tostadas however are
-
filling and cheap.
-
flat and tasty
-
curious but inviting
-
, but nothing like
-
submissive fuck pigs.
-
Chinese in origin
-
but raised as
-
buck toothed hillbillies
-
in southern florida
-
near Jeb Bush's
-
home economics school
-
where he masturbated
-
up the windows
-
spurting wiener gunch
-
all over the
-
giant pink trumpet
-
which coughed up
-
cats and goats.
-
mice and women
-
and naked men
-
with tiny penises
-
. But then there
-
was punctuation again,
-
that skyblue ignored.
-
Dressing up was
-
all that necesary?
-
but fun when
-
the lightning struck
-
. Really, this would
-
flow much better
-
if punctuation was
-
truly taken seriously.
-
words randomly added
-
punctuation isnt nice
-
. Punctuation helps the
-
river flow downstream.
-
Suddenly hundreds of
-
birds swarmed the
-
fields asking where
-
the fonz lived
-
the Dude abides.
-
Ewwww you faggot!
-
Keep your hands.....
-
Off of my
-
precious little scrapheap!
-
He is too
-
fragile for your
-
huge throbbing cock
-
. A pinkie is
-
better for his
-
ego. Anything bigger
-
would deflate his
-
very strong hunger.
-
for scatological gratification
-
. Asswipes were bought
-
and sold on
-
the QVC channel
-
.Where many items
-
are available for
-
rabid customers to
-
organize their socks.
-
Meantime over at
-
the condom factory
-
saboteurs were busy
-
shrinking the product
-
and poking holes
-
. This shipment goes
-
to family planning
-
but not before
-
most were stolen
-
by bands of
-
leprechauns intent on
-
procreating with many
-
happy endings. Inspectors
-
grew suspicious when
-
tiny underwear were
-
strewn about the
-
storeroom. A trail
-
of lucky charms
-
showed the way.
-
They heard screaming
-
and moaning, loudly
-
perseverating chicken noises.
-
The chicken then
-
killed a duck
-
and fried it
-
eating it for
-
its savory taste
-
and for its
-
crispy skin. The
-
revenge taken by
-
someone clearly qwakkers
-
was very brutal
-
with anal probes
-
and stabby things
-
in his urethra
-
"Yikes" said the
-
Duke of Kent
-
as he fucked
-
to loud reggae
-
and shoved a
-
squirrel in the
-
squirrel in the
dark corner of
-
his glory hole.
-
the squirrel then
-
took a bite
-
of the legendary
-
eternal golden harp
-
and chocked to
-
the tune of
-
some shitty "artist"
-
named Justin who
-
came from a
-
redneck, egg-laying monster
-
from Canada. The
-
Avengers returned from
-
their expedition in
-
the Amazon Jungle
-
fighting alongside the
-
Deutscher Fussball-Bund while
-
declaring war on
-
Israel and playing
-
chess with Dumbledore
-
whilst shooting craps
-
. "What is this
-
crap?" Jack asked.
-
"It's your momma!
-
hehehe!" Barry chuckled
-
on blueberry hill.
-
Barry then punched
-
his ticket to
-
Has anyone nortoced that this story doesn't make any sense when you play by the "rules"??
-
Has anyone nortoced that this story doesn't make any sense when you play by the "rules"??
hiding deep meaning........ (just pick a random post and make it the thought for the day for you. :orly: )
-
Once upon a....
-
...midnight dreary. I woke with something inside my head.
I couldn't escape the memory, the phone call and what she said.
-
Maybe we should change the rules to: add two sentences/ lines.