INTENSITY²
Politics, Mature and taboo => Political Pundits => Topic started by: Peter on January 27, 2007, 01:14:12 PM
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I feel very let down by the sex ed I received. In the whole of school, we got a couple of hours of it, which didn't cover much more than how a baby develops in the womb, the changes that happen during puberty (when we were already mid-way through it), and that there existed things called condoms and 'the pill' (nothing about how to obtain and use them). How do you feel about the sex ed you received? What sex ed would you like your kids to receive?
This is about the state of sex ed in the UK:
While in principle primary school students learn about how a baby is conceived and born, the SEU report observed that thousands of ten- and eleven-year-olds receive no information about periods, despite the fact that one in ten girls starts menstruating before finishing primary school.
Nor can secondary schools rest on their laurels. “We’re not good at talking to young people about sex. Lack of sex education is an important contributory factor in individuals getting pregnant,†says Francis. Sex education is compulsory in secondary school, but parents have the right to withdraw their children from lessons. The curriculum chiefly focuses on the reproductive system and how the foetus develops in the uterus, along with the physical and emotional changes that take place during adolescence. Anything beyond this is discretionary, including contraception, safe sex and access to local advice and treatment services.
Several studies into unplanned teenage pregnancies point to a lack of information about contraceptive use and embarrassment about discussing contraception with a partner. In February 2000, the University of Brighton conducted a survey of nearly 700 pupils between 14 and 15 that revealed a deep-seated anger about sex education in their schools. Girls felt that classes focused on the mechanics of sex and contraception rather than on emotions. Boys claimed they were denied access to information judged too explicit. The majority were “furious†because they felt legislation, such as that which requires teachers to inform pupils’ parents if asked about contraception, has stopped them from gaining access to information. Schools are expected to inform parents when a pupil tells a teacher they are having sex or asks about contraception in all but the “most exceptional circumstancesâ€.
It's meant to be a bit better in Scotland these days, but looks like the rest of the UK is still struggling.
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woody woodpecker cartoons!
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Sex ed. was non existent, if not a joke in my time at school. (1960-1973)
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The main thing I remembered from sex ed was diagrams of the male and female reproductive tracts, showing the ovaries, testes, uterus etc. It was more like a biology class than anything else.
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I don't recall us having any sex education classes at school. I went to a private all girls school, mind, so maybe that accounts for it. I just don't remember anything other than the usual, generic biology lessons, but my mother did give me a book about it when I was about 9 or 10 years old.
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Do I got a fuckn problem?, because I feel no embarassament about such things. I just don't see the point. I would have no problem teaching a class.
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Do I got a fuckn problem?, because I feel no embarassament about such things. I just don't see the point. I would have no problem teaching a class.
some of your students will be gay.
they deserve equal air time.
do you have a problem now?
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How do you feel about the sex ed you received? What sex ed would you like your kids to receive?
Did you ever watch Mont Python's "Meaning of Life"??
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Do I got a fuckn problem?, because I feel no embarassament about such things. I just don't see the point. I would have no problem teaching a class.
some of your students will be gay.
they deserve equal air time.
do you have a problem now?
No. Its a class and not a raping. Even if it was I would fight or runaway, and still have no problem.
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My sex education classes where just fine. In addition my mom even showed us some videos, that we laughed at, my brother and I. I know how my mom is with sexual thing, making jokes, cocking teasing men, and modeling.
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Same story here. I think that regardless of what people want, what would probably be best is a full and explicit explanation of sex(and some sex culture education might help) at around 7 or 8 for both genders. However, if people vote to make sex education totally personal, that is the parents choice to educate their children how they want, I will be okay with it. I plan to explain the whole thing to my children very early. I don't think there is any risk that the child wont understand how to treat the information as long as I don't rely on him or her knowing common sense. As long as I say unsaid things that you learn later in life, there should be no problem with it.
Like, "Okay, sex, and all sexually related things are totally natural and unshameful, and anybody doing it is kind of heart warming and admirable, but when you are in places like school, or most public places you are supposed to ACT like you have a slight feeling of shame about the whole thing. Not supposed to talk about it, supposed to ignore and feel embarassed when others break that rule, shit like that. You can only shed that act in public and in school with people you've learned to trust."
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We had no sex ed at all at First school level (ages 5-9)
The girls had a lesson about periods and the products you could use at middle school at age 11.
At upper school we had some lessons about sex, including lessons about contraception.(ages 13-18).
All in all, whilst it wasn't the must fantastic sex education it was adequate.
Personally I think schools should give a comprehensive sex education and that sex education should be compulsory. Its information that almost everyone needs, the lack of such information has the potential to affect people's lives in a negative way (e.g. unwanted pregnancy, STD's). I don't believe that all parents who excuse their kids from such lessons do so because they believe they can teach their children about sex better than the school, many do so because it feels wrong to them that their children are learning about sex.
Whilst I find it weird that any girl living with a menstruating mother can not know about periods I know that a lot of mothers don't tell their children what periods are. My mother used to send me to the corner shop to buy sanitary towels for her, but whenever I asked her what they were for she would just say they were 'women's things'. Some parents are too embarrassed or think that their kid's are too young to teach them about this so primary school age children should have proper lessons about periods.
I always answer any questions my children have about sex/periods/pregnancy. My daughter (eight) knows more about these than her elder brother (10) but that's only because she's a very curious child and asks a lot of questions. I won't rely on their schools to give them a comprehensive education about sex, but I think that we should be able to trust that the schools will offer a good education about this.
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what are sanitary towels for?
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what are sanitary towels for?
Is that a serious question? ???
Sanitary towels are what a lot of people call pads over here.
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it is serious.
i know what they are but i want you to tell me.
i shouldn't have to rely on my wife to answer these questions for my girls. i figured if you gave me an explanation, then i would be better prepared to answer that same question for my girls. should the situation arise.
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You mean you couldn't already answer their questions yourself?
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i would say something like:
when the vagina bleeds you need something to catch it.
as for when it bleeds:
right after your mom is cranky for a few days she begins to bleed for punishment.
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Since my daughter knows enough about sex to know where babies come from I told her that every month the lining of a woman's womb (where the baby grows when she's pregnant) gets ready to hold a baby. If a baby isn't made this extra lining isn't needed and so it comes out of the woman's body. This is called a period and it just looks like blood. Women use pads or tampons to catch this so they don't make a mess.
Obviously I answered any questions she had about it. I've also told her that right before I period women can get a little cranky because they feel crappy and that periods cause stomach and back ache sometimes. Its not a very detailed response but it was enough for her at the age she was. If you want to be able to give good answers to your daughters if they ask you I suggest you prepare some age-appropriate answers. I think my daughter was 5 when she asked.
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"Also, Suzie, vaginas sometimes bleed after sex with a well-hung black man. This is normal, and actually part of the appeal. Want to look at some pictures of black men with me? We can play the 'guess which one would make my vagina bleed' game!"
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I said age appropriate Peter ::)
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Not only would I call that age appropriate, I call it funny as hell.
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I said age appropriate Peter ::)
At least Nomaken understands me.
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Since my daughter knows enough about sex to know where babies come from I told her that every month the lining of a woman's womb (where the baby grows when she's pregnant) gets ready to hold a baby. If a baby isn't made this extra lining isn't needed and so it comes out of the woman's body. This is called a period and it just looks like blood. Women use pads or tampons to catch this so they don't make a mess.
Obviously I answered any questions she had about it.... Its not a very detailed response but it was enough for her at the age she was. If you want to be able to give good answers to your daughters if they ask you I suggest you prepare some age-appropriate answers. I think my daughter was 5 when she asked.
This is pretty much what I told my daughter when she was younger, except I did not tell her about tampons yet and I did not go into detail about cramps yet. She had some further education at school, a video, which she watched with her female paraprofessional. The other fifth grade girls watched it with other fifth grade girls and female teachers, while the fifth grade boys watched a slightly different film with other fifth grade boys and male teachers. I went to school and watched the videos beforehand and the girl's video was all stuff I had already told her, just arranged differently. It also covered using underarm deodorant and bathing daily, as well as how to put sanitary pads in your underwear. I told them I always answer her questions as she asks them, so if she had any questions after seeing the video, they could answer her questions if they were comfortable doing so, or I could answer them after school if they would jot them down for me. They answered a few questions for her. I bought her some pads and showed her again how to put them in her underwear and I put that pair of underwear with the pad in a ziploc bag in the part of her backpack that has a change of clothes for her. I also bought her own deodorant for sensitive skin and put it in her bathroom. Her breasts have not developed enough yet for a bra, so I bought her some undershirts to wear. Now she says, "I feel like such a grown-up!"
I recommend you find a good book about how your body works for your daughters, McJagger. Then you can start reading it with them right away. The one I found was actually called How Your Body Works, but I bought it when my daughter was two and it may not still be available as a new book. It has two page child-level explanations about all sorts of things, including reproduction, sleep, the different organs of the body, etc. I bought that book when my daughter was two. This was just after she came out of my bathroom completely covered head to toe in sanitary pads like she thought they were stickers. At first, we mostly looked at pictures in the book and I used few words. Then we would read whichever subject in the book interested her. We have covered reproduction, digestion, how babies grow, sleep and the heart many times. Hope this helps.
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Not only would I call that age appropriate, I call it funny as hell.
I never said it wasn't funny, but I was talking about a five year old. If you think that's age appropriate I seriously pity any kids you do have in the future.
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thank you ladies.
and peter, i would never have that discussion with my daughters.
i hate to admit this, but...
i would prefer my daughters being lesbians than dating a black man. there, i said it.
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i would prefer my daughters being lesbians than dating a black man. there, i said it.
Actually, you've said it before. How would you feel about them dating an arab guy?
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Not only would I call that age appropriate, I call it funny as hell.
I never said it wasn't funny, but I was talking about a five year old. If you think that's age appropriate I seriously pity any kids you do have in the future.
I think that is age appropriate. Older would be better simply because they'd probably understand it better, but it wouldnt do any harm.
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thank you ladies.
and peter, i would never have that discussion with my daughters.
i hate to admit this, but...
i would prefer my daughters being lesbians than dating a black man. there, i said it.
What if he's a Gentleman and respects, not only himself, but all of humanity, he's well educated and has a very high paying, stable job, treats you like a loving father and treats your daughter like his best frind, because he's deeply in love with her, and your daughter is deeply in love with him? I'd say we burn that bridge after we cross it, not before we get there, if you allow a mixing of metaphors.
But then, I'm bigotted against people who prejudge, too harshly.
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i would prefer my daughters being lesbians than dating a black man. there, i said it.
Actually, you've said it before. How would you feel about them dating an arab guy?
i would think that the same premise applies.
my issues lie in how i percieve how men treat women. i know i am generalizing, but have you ever listened to rap lyrics?
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thank you ladies.
and peter, i would never have that discussion with my daughters.
i hate to admit this, but...
i would prefer my daughters being lesbians than dating a black man. there, i said it.
What if he's a Gentleman and respects, not only himself, but all of humanity, he's well educated and has a very high paying, stable job, treats you like a loving father and treats your daughter like his best frind, because he's deeply in love with her, and your daughter is deeply in love with him? I'd say we burn that bridge after we cross it, not before we get there, if you allow a mixing of metaphors.
But then I'm bigotted against people who prejudge, too harshly.
i am simply hedging my bets here DD. i want my daughters to fall for a man who respects them.
and i would agree that the example i show them as far as how i treat my own wife (and them) is probably the determining factor as to which type of man they end up with.
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Not only would I call that age appropriate, I call it funny as hell.
I never said it wasn't funny, but I was talking about a five year old. If you think that's age appropriate I seriously pity any kids you do have in the future.
I think that is age appropriate. Older would be better simply because they'd probably understand it better, but it wouldnt do any harm.
It's obvious that you don't know very many five year olds, if you think it would do no harm, dickhead!
::)
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Not only would I call that age appropriate, I call it funny as hell.
I never said it wasn't funny, but I was talking about a five year old. If you think that's age appropriate I seriously pity any kids you do have in the future.
I think that is age appropriate. Older would be better simply because they'd probably understand it better, but it wouldnt do any harm.
That's the whole point of it being age appropriate- that they are able to fully understand. Plus you have to wonder if teaching your kids a stereotype that may or may not be true as the truth is appropriate in the first place.
You should be careful nom, with your talk of incest fantasies people might think showing a five year old child porn was some kind of grooming.
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Not only would I call that age appropriate, I call it funny as hell.
I never said it wasn't funny, but I was talking about a five year old. If you think that's age appropriate I seriously pity any kids you do have in the future.
I think that is age appropriate. Older would be better simply because they'd probably understand it better, but it wouldnt do any harm.
That's the whole point of it being age appropriate- that they are able to fully understand. Plus you have to wonder if teaching your kids a stereotype that may or may not be true as the truth is appropriate in the first place.
You should be careful nom, with your talk of incest fantasies people might think showing a five year old child porn was some kind of grooming.
interesting....
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i am simply hedging my bets here DD. i want my daughters to fall for a man who respects them.
and i would agree that the example i show them as far as how i treat my own wife (and them) is probably the determining factor as to which type of man they end up with.
I would have to agree with that!
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i am simply hedging my bets here DD. i want my daughters to fall for a man who respects them.
and i would agree that the example i show them as far as how i treat my own wife (and them) is probably the determining factor as to which type of man they end up with.
I would have to agree with that!
Yeah. me, too. I just object to the context he started with.
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i am simply hedging my bets here DD. i want my daughters to fall for a man who respects them.
and i would agree that the example i show them as far as how i treat my own wife (and them) is probably the determining factor as to which type of man they end up with.
I would have to agree with that!
Yeah. me, too. I just object to the context he started with.
in your experience i am sure that you have seen alot of men who are not respectful to women. each nationality will be represented i am sure.
but, what has your observations showed you would be the best chice, if you were trying to hedge your bets that your girls would end up with someone who would respect them?
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I think I posted this elsewhere on here, but I was offered sex in in 3rd grade but was in a residential with conservative protestants at the time who weren't keen on it. next year (5th grade) I got period-related sex ed. I think it was offered again at some point before I went in another residential in middle school (7th or 8th grade or so, maybe 9th- it's complicated). In that residential most of the girls were already sexually active so our education was extremely explicit.
Additionally, my mom has always been OK with talking with me about anything. I remember at least as early as 4th grade she told me I could ask her anything and she'd tell me what I needed to know.
All that period prep was anticilmatic, of course, and sex ed never quite prepared me for my first experience, but I think if I were physically normal I'd have been all set- I was ready to be very safe by the time I was sexually active. (My mom even went so far as to get the pill for me- I couldn't get it because I wasn't mesntruating and the docs didn't know what was up with that. So my mom had it prescribed for herself and gave it to me- ironic because she'd had a hysterectomy, but apparently the pill is useable for ovulation-related issues and not just birth control.)
I said age appropriate Peter ::)
At least Nomaken understands me.
Doesn't that frighten you?
i would say something like:
when the vagina bleeds you need something to catch it.
as for when it bleeds:
right after your mom is cranky for a few days she begins to bleed for punishment.
+
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i am simply hedging my bets here DD. i want my daughters to fall for a man who respects them.
and i would agree that the example i show them as far as how i treat my own wife (and them) is probably the determining factor as to which type of man they end up with.
I would have to agree with that!
Yeah. me, too. I just object to the context he started with.
in your experience i am sure that you have seen alot of men who are not respectful to women. each nationality will be represented i am sure.
but, what has your observations showed you would be the best chice, if you were trying to hedge your bets that your girls would end up with someone who would respect them?
By giving her the tools she needs to make her own intelligent choices, showing her that the world is not black and white, and assuring her that as long as she is truly happy, I will be pleased with her choices.
The whole problem with this inclination of yours is that it is a Fool's Errand. Too much of your effort will be spent on half truths and trying to make up for the mistakes we have made. You can not hedge your bets, in the way you are trying to, by marking illusory divisions between people (which may make sense to you) and disqualifying a few groups. Our job as parents is teaching them what we know (Facts! Don't offer too much of our own tainted interpretations of how the indisputable facts came to be!) and teaching them how to learn on their own, from their own explorations.
The important thing to remember is that, we can not predict whether our daughters will end up with an abusive jerk (because they come in all shapes and sizes, including tempting and "perfect" and abusive behavior may spontaneously erupt in an otherwise perfect person), but with a high degree of self-respect and a strong sense of self-worth, our daughters will be more able to break free from a relationship that is injuring them, whether the abuse is physical or emotional. Spending all our time with lessons about which divisions of people are more likely to be "wrong" for her is a waste of her attention span. The more effort spent building her self esteem and preparing her for accepting and shedding failures then moving on past them, the better off we will all be. But what the fuck do I know? I'm a rookie at the parenting thing!
I have a long way to go. Today, I was fielding questions about maturing, from a six year old's perspective. (This is a big deal! She has a hard time with the concept of 'growing up'. It scares the hell out of her!) She asked me today when she "will have bumps on her chest", after drawing a picture of her family, including the dog and mommie's noticeable "bumps".
:laugh:
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I said age appropriate Peter ::)
At least Nomaken understands me.
Doesn't that frighten you?
No, but it might frighten other people.
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I thought it was adequate. We actually talked about birth control when I lived in VA. I have no idea what I would've been taught if my parents moved to NC earlier, but it would have been much more conservative. I'm sorry, but abstinence only education is a joke, and this is coming from a 24 year old virgin.
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i'm a 24 year old virgin too! and they basically handed out condoms to us and people made balloon animals out of them. :P
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I'd probably come prematurely if I wore a condom -- in a good way.
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how can there be a good way for that? :P
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how can there be a good way for that? :P
I'd probably like the feel of elastic pressing onto my manhood.
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i'm a 24 year old virgin too! and they basically handed out condoms to us and people made balloon animals out of them. :P
Want to get together and awkwardly touch each other? :eyebrows:
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it only becomes awkward when you make a mess in your pants. :-[
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you can always blame snipping complications :P
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Not only would I call that age appropriate, I call it funny as hell.
I never said it wasn't funny, but I was talking about a five year old. If you think that's age appropriate I seriously pity any kids you do have in the future.
I think that is age appropriate. Older would be better simply because they'd probably understand it better, but it wouldnt do any harm.
That's the whole point of it being age appropriate- that they are able to fully understand. Plus you have to wonder if teaching your kids a stereotype that may or may not be true as the truth is appropriate in the first place.
You should be careful nom, with your talk of incest fantasies people might think showing a five year old child porn was some kind of grooming.
Unless my kids are slow or have some kind of learning disability, I think they will be able to understand that kind of crap. They'll probably not understand parts of it, but it doesn't hurt to explain something they don't understand, and let them come into understanding it later, as long as I provide them with things they are definitely not supposed to do or think. The trick, I believe, is to not overlook something because it is obvious and common sense to me, rather, paying special attention to common sense knowledge.
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O K ::)
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O K ::)
i think what she meant to say is:
:poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop:
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Do you know I think you might be right >:D
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Not only would I call that age appropriate, I call it funny as hell.
I never said it wasn't funny, but I was talking about a five year old. If you think that's age appropriate I seriously pity any kids you do have in the future.
I think that is age appropriate. Older would be better simply because they'd probably understand it better, but it wouldnt do any harm.
That's the whole point of it being age appropriate- that they are able to fully understand. Plus you have to wonder if teaching your kids a stereotype that may or may not be true as the truth is appropriate in the first place.
You should be careful nom, with your talk of incest fantasies people might think showing a five year old child porn was some kind of grooming.
Unless my kids are slow or have some kind of learning disability, I think they will be able to understand that kind of crap. They'll probably not understand parts of it, but it doesn't hurt to explain something they don't understand, and let them come into understanding it later, as long as I provide them with things they are definitely not supposed to do or think. The trick, I believe, is to not overlook something because it is obvious and common sense to me, rather, paying special attention to common sense knowledge.
This was what Peter originally said and I believe he was just joking.
"Also, Suzie, vaginas sometimes bleed after sex with a well-hung black man. This is normal, and actually part of the appeal. Want to look at some pictures of black men with me? We can play the 'guess which one would make my vagina bleed' game!"
You said you thought this was both age appropriate for a five year old child and funny as hell. If you are just kidding around, then I am doing an AS thing by taking you seriously, but if you are actually serious about talking this way to your five year old children, then you would be making a serious mistake that could cost you the custody of your children.
If your children know these sorts of sexual details, then teachers or social workers who work with your children will believe that you are either sexually abusing them or grooming them so that you can. Once this happens, your children will be taken from you and they will be placed in a foster home if there is not a suitable relative to take care of them. If you want to get them back, you will undergo extensive psychological testing to prove that you did not and could never molest them and if you don't jump through every hoop, you will never get your children back. Even though the legal standard if you are accused of a crime is proof beyond a reasonable doubt, in a child custody case where you are suspected of abusing them, the burden of proof will be on you.
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You have the patience of a saint Callaway. +1
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It would not be the first thing I would say to my children. They would have to show me a level maturity where they show they have a good grasp on the concepts and an understanding of the weight of the knowledge. But I think smaller children are far more capable of advanced understanding that virtually everyone will give them credit for. I would be waiting for the right signs of mental maturity, not age, so if 5 is too young, i'll keep waiting, but I am optimistic in that regard. In my opinion, the sooner the children start tackling the concepts the sooner they can develop well formulated understanding of them.
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i agree, Nomey. kids are usually assumed to be dumber or less mature than they really are. and sometimes sheltering them too much only causes more damage.
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Actually I know my kids are intelligent and I treat them as such. Its not sheltering your kids not to show them hardcore porn pics at age 5. I think a lot of people now don't seem to value the importance of letting your kids have a childhood.
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If your children know these sorts of sexual details, then teachers or social workers who work with your children will believe that you are either sexually abusing them or grooming them so that you can. Once this happens, your children will be taken from you and they will be placed in a foster home if there is not a suitable relative to take care of them. If you want to get them back, you will undergo extensive psychological testing to prove that you did not and could never molest them and if you don't jump through every hoop, you will never get your children back. Even though the legal standard if you are accused of a crime is proof beyond a reasonable doubt, in a child custody case where you are suspected of abusing them, the burden of proof will be on you.
I actually think that he was just making a bad joke, but isn't this a sickness of modern society, that parents so easily can be suspected for abusing their children? That's like witch hunting in the 21th century...
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I think that's because victims of child abuse have a hard time coming forward about it- they can be too scared, or taught that its perfectly normal, made to believe that no-one will believe them or that they will be taken to a worse place if removed from their abuser, etc. So in order to protect these kids sometimes they have to look for warning signs- I'd say showing a young child porn like that was a pretty good warning sign myself and whether that in it self constitutes child abuse is a matter of opinion.
If it was a bad joke, why would he continue to defend it?
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i agree, Nomey. kids are usually assumed to be dumber or less mature than they really are. and sometimes sheltering them too much only causes more damage.
i am sure that you haven't been following his image cultivating campaign.