INTENSITY²
Start here => Games => Topic started by: bodie on June 24, 2012, 03:54:32 PM
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A bit like 'add three words' but with more words! :zoinks:
that three word limit always stumps me :tard:
I'll start:
Once upon a time, not so long ago, in a village near you, there lived a very wicked, lonely
old lady.
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She was so wicked that she would post pics of other womens boobs, but never her own.
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She did post her own, alas it was never truly appreciated, so she scoured the internet but soon discovered a site she could play bingo.
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Bingo filled her days and nights but it was not enough to cure her of her loneliness.
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So this very wicked, lonely old lady decided to travel the world, seeing what adventures she could stumble on to and embrace life to it's fullest.
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She had no idea where she wanted to go, as she had never left her little town before, she was excited and terrified about the adventure that lay ahead.
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Momentarily, she had a new lust for life when she discovered 'shoplifting' got her adrenalin going...until, one fateful day, she felt the long arm of the law on her shoulder and heard those infamous words "you're nicked" - but wait .... that voice was familiar! and she looked up into the eyes of her first husband Blowtorch-Bob.
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" Hi Bob." she said "Is that your flashlight I feel pressed up against my ass, or are you just happy to see me?"
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"It is my truncheon actually madam..." he gruffly replied before he realised just who it was he was roughly frisking, then it all came flooding back to him..it was his first love Gladys.
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'Gladys Dimplechin!' 'Is it really you?' 'I haven't seen you for.. um, what is it.. 38 years, I reckon.' 'Why, why-ee.. ', his voice squeaked as he remembered how heartbroke he felt that long ago.. 'Why-ee did you leave me all of a sudden, back then, Gladys?'
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"I needed to find myself" she fell to his knees "but it was a mistake" she continued "I should have stayed" She sobbed, and sobbed, for what seemed like an eternity.
"Get up, Glady's" Bob said but just as he was about to tell her how he felt they heard a very loud gunshot....
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Jesus, he.. who never visited Parimaribo, christ, Bob thought.. What the føck was that? Yes.. Yes, and all this, whilst noticing his trousers were all wet around the knee area at the same time. Ambiguous.
They both, after previous, looked in the direction where the loud, yet brief, noise came from and..
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out of the shadows a dark, lone figure emerged. He was armed with a sawn off shotgun, and as he drew closer, Gladys and Bob gasped. Gladys almost fainted.
It was Albert. Their old milkman. He was the old bugger Gladys had run off with all those years ago..
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That fateful day, when Bob lost his wife Gladys, and his lover Albert, was one of the darkest days in Bobs eventful life.
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Albert didnt seem to care which one he killed, " I detest you both" he yelled.
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Then.. Bob, being a fully qualified black belt yoga fighter, all of a sudden, came in touch with his 17th chakra and slowly and remarkably relaxed took hold of the gun. Gladys, relieved, sighed and..
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farted. A rather gassy anomaly. Albert and Bob both fell to floor choking. Gladys saw the keys were in the harvest gold ford capri parked on the corner, and she took her chance...
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..and ran off ('byeya, lads.. '), got into the Ford Capri and started the car. With squealing tires she drove off, almost hitting an old pedestrian on the road.
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The Queen was watching all this unfold before her eyes. She'd never seen anything quite like it before.
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The Queen was bemused. Just a little....and later on when she was on the balcony she saw that Ford Capri come round the corner.
"STOP THAT CAR" she shouted at her guards, for she had a little job to be done and Gladys was just the right person.
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Guards acted swiftly and all Gladys could do was to hit the brakes. 'Eeeeehhh'.. Just in time the Capri came to a standstill.. which yeah, was fortunate for the guard with the faggoty moustache.. for otherwise a wheelchair would be his means of transport for the days that followed.
Guards took Gladys, in a friendly manner, upstairs to the queen and..
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She appointed Gladys as Special Envoy to find out where Hugh Jackman is since that man is fine.