Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 138392 times)

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ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1560 on: October 05, 2007, 08:43:46 PM »
TEQUILA TEST--a good un here

A guy walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.

He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it.

He approaches the bartender and asks. "What's up with the jar?"

Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money.."

The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. "What are the threetests?"

Pay first, those are the rules." says the bartender. So the man giveshim the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

OK," the bartender says. "Here's what you need to do:



First , You have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once...and you can't make a face while doing it.

Second, There's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth.. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.

Third. - There's a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never had asexual experience in her life and has always wanted to give it a try. You've gotta make things right for her."

The man is stunned. "I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot, I won't do it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila,and then do those other things..."

Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is."

As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks,Wherez zat tequila?"

He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp.Tears streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.

Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on outside.

They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then silence.

Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body.

Now," he says. "Where's the old woman with the sore tooth?










Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1561 on: October 06, 2007, 05:22:34 AM »

Offline Lucifer

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1562 on: October 08, 2007, 12:37:06 AM »
my friend emailed me this link, and i've pissed myself!



so i watched this one too, and cracked up again:



"get your hand off my tail; you'll make it dirty"!

:LMAO:

Offline SovaNu

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1563 on: October 08, 2007, 12:41:22 AM »


got this from Pea, kills me. :laugh:

dunno if he posted it here already.
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1564 on: October 08, 2007, 02:41:54 AM »


Mildly Cute in a Retarded Way
Tek'ma'tae

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1565 on: October 08, 2007, 02:46:32 AM »
Noob is incorrect, because of the hyphon
con- or anti- would have been the correct
answers.  :calandale:

GalileoAce

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1566 on: October 08, 2007, 02:51:10 AM »
Noob is incorrect, because of the hyphon
con- or anti- would have been the correct
answers.  :calandale:

nerd ;)

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1567 on: October 08, 2007, 03:08:10 AM »
noob.

Offline SovaNu

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1568 on: October 08, 2007, 02:39:06 PM »
PRO
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1569 on: October 08, 2007, 07:03:25 PM »





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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1570 on: October 08, 2007, 07:04:47 PM »

Offline Parts

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1571 on: October 09, 2007, 07:36:54 PM »
He's a card I got at the store the photo's a has some glare but it's the best I could get

"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1572 on: October 10, 2007, 01:06:40 AM »
Quote
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.  I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.

I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.

Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.

I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.

The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
And:
Quote
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
weatherman and asked:

"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
« Last Edit: October 10, 2007, 01:08:36 AM by renaeden »
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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1573 on: October 10, 2007, 01:19:04 AM »
 :plus:

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1574 on: October 10, 2007, 02:07:05 AM »


Prank call fun.