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Author Topic: Mormons  (Read 1651 times)

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Offline Parts

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #15 on: December 17, 2007, 08:25:24 AM »
http://youtube.com/watch?v=_qhzfjfL7eU
Mormonic.

The guy they were talking to in the beginning Bob Larson is a real wing nut and deals in demonic possession and such http://www.boblarson.org/
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Offline Peter

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #16 on: December 17, 2007, 06:20:33 PM »
Wonder if they make a sexy variety of them.  :laugh:

I read that the female ones have a slit crotch, or at least did back in the 1970's.
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14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Callaway

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #17 on: December 17, 2007, 08:50:14 PM »
Wonder if they make a sexy variety of them.  :laugh:

I read that the female ones have a slit crotch, or at least did back in the 1970's.

 :o

The ones that I saw did not.

Offline Calandale

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #18 on: December 18, 2007, 03:06:28 AM »
Knee, crotch, all the same.  :laugh:

It would make sense, if there was a way to
urinate, without removing them.

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #19 on: December 18, 2007, 03:18:28 AM »
Pff, Jesus maybe married Mary Magdalene, but they couldn't have sex because Jesus was gay. Which is sorta' why I don't think he married, he had an affair with his frickin' cousin John the Baptist.

As I see it Jesus did have a close relationship with Mary Magdalene, the gospels have downplayed the role she had in the early church. It is doubtful it was anything beyond a close friendship, along with Mary being the patron of Jesus. The tag of the beloved Disciple was not for John the Evangelist (d. ca 110, whom some claim Jesus had a homosexual relationship with) but for Mary Magdalene, according to the gospels she was the first to see the rescurrected Jesus and Jesus asked her not to touch me (which was what they normally did).

That intrepation of relationship between Jesus and John the Evangelist is a misreading.

Quote
In Greek, the original language of the book of John, there are four words for love - "agape" (spiritual, unconditional love), "storge" (familial love), "philia" (love between friends) and "eros" (erotic love). All of the references to "the disciple whom Jesus loved" use the word "agape".

From here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_readings_of_Jesus_and_John#Reception

There are much more scandlous things in the Hadiths which are the sayings attributed to Prophet Muhammad and earliest biographies of him. He married a six year old girl Aisha who was also his adoptive brother's daugther (according to the Arab custons of the time an adoptive brother was the same as a genetic one). He also had sex with her for the first time at age nine.

* John the Baptist was related to Jesus, since the gospels say Mary Jesus mother and John the Baptist's mother were kin. Also Jesus was a Disciple of him until he was killed.
« Last Edit: December 18, 2007, 03:21:22 AM by Teejay »

Offline SovaNu

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #20 on: December 18, 2007, 04:05:14 AM »
oh pleeze, jesus totally fucked mm. :toporly:
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Offline Peter

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #21 on: December 18, 2007, 05:08:24 AM »
I just got visited by a Jehova's witness.  He gave me a little book.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline SovaNu

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #22 on: December 18, 2007, 12:42:53 PM »
wow you can make firewood out of it.
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #23 on: December 18, 2007, 12:46:35 PM »
I just got visited by a Jehova's witness.  He gave me a little book.

I used to collect them and all those stupid tracts they give out till my wife threw them away when cleaning one day I had a shoe box full :(
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

Offline Rabbit From Hell

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #24 on: December 18, 2007, 12:47:19 PM »
They do make special underwear for nursing mothers.

Brassieres with doors for the nipples.
You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having buttsex with a fish squirrel, congratulations.

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Offline SovaNu

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #25 on: December 18, 2007, 12:49:00 PM »
maybe they have backdoors in the undies for number 2s. :toporly:
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #26 on: December 18, 2007, 12:49:22 PM »
They do make special underwear for nursing mothers.

Brassieres with doors for the nipples.

I always liked those :eyebrows:
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

Offline Alex179

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #27 on: December 18, 2007, 02:24:24 PM »
My brother used to invite the Mormons into the house and give them something to drink.   He would talk to them for a while about life and why he doesn't believe in god (my brother is agnostic really).   He once introduced them to his girlfriend and talked about fucking her in front of them.   Also he drank beer around them and I made them leave once because we were going to smoke bud.   He treated the Mormons like they were some sort of experiment when he conversed with them.   He was curious about them and why the hell they would ride bikes all over the damn place to preach to people.   Eventually they caught on to him patronizing them and they stopped showing up.   They probably realized that they were a joke to my brother after a while.   It was probably due to me laughing every time he brought them into the house.
:P   Internets are super serious.

Offline SovaNu

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #28 on: December 18, 2007, 02:26:49 PM »
i'd probably talk to them about aliens and hand out pamphlets.
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline Alex179

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Re: Mormons
« Reply #29 on: December 18, 2007, 02:32:32 PM »
i'd probably talk to them about aliens and hand out pamphlets.
haha

Jesus was an alien omgz.  So was John Smith.
:P   Internets are super serious.