Ask Anti-Agony Aunt thread!

[peegai]

So go ahead and ask what your problem is to auntie Vivi, and I'm sure she will help you. :|

[Lucifer]

PMSL!

oh, this could be fun.

hope no-one's expecting real agony aunt-ness, though.  (PM me, if you are).

pee, you're a star.  have an applaud.

disclaimer:  for those who haven't read the thread, i said i'd like to be an anti-agony aunt, so i could tell people what their problems really are, i.e., be thoroughly horrible and obnoxious to losers, whiners, up-their-own-arse wankers, and those who won't take responsibility.  oh, and david blaine, cos he's a fucking arse.

[Merry Widow]

i accuse you of plagiarism! 

[peegai]

i accuse you of plagiarism! 

You can tell Auntie Vivi all about it.

[Merry Widow]

LOL.

[Lucifer]

i wondered where aspie18 got to...

[El]

So I have a freind who's worried tat her boyfriend is going deaf.  He sometimes asks her the same question 20-50 times in a row before he hears it.  Can you reccommend a good doctor for him?

[McGiver]

i accuse you of plagiarism!?

How about anti antagonist aunt, then?

[Merry Widow]

So I have a freind who's worried tat her boyfriend is going deaf.? He sometimes asks her the same question 20-50 times in a row before he hears it.? Can you reccommend a good doctor for him?

     

[Hypnotica_Gaze]

Lucifer did you ever give a child away, because i think maybe im your long lost daughter
judging by the disclaimer

[Lucifer]

So I have a freind who's worried tat her boyfriend is going deaf.  He sometimes asks her the same question 20-50 times in a row before he hears it.  Can you reccommend a good doctor for him?

i dunno about a good doctor, but i do know that a good ding round the affected ear, and yelling "are you listening to me, you stupid arsewipe?!!!" is a reasonably effective cure.  repeat as necessary.  of course, if you're into homeopathy, just a slight knitting needle through the eardrum works wonders.

[Lucifer]

Lucifer did you ever give a child away, because i think maybe im your long lost daughter
judging by the disclaimer

yes.  i remember suckling you, quite clearly, as though it were yesterday.  i had to foster you out, though, cos you were born with teeth - well, what else do you expect from the result of an diabolic couping during a witchy orgy?  oh, and satan's a crap shag - don't go there.  anyway, we wanted to see whether the old "nature vs nurture" thing was true.  obviously, your genes will out, though.

[Sanityisoverrated]

Dear Auntie,
I hate winter, it's too damn cold. What can I do? 

PS I just had a really long boring dream about waiting in a queue. Please help.

[Sanityisoverrated]

Wait a sec, is this your blog? http://www.auntyagony.net/ 
On second thoughts, I don't want any advice!

[Lucifer]

Dear Auntie,
I hate winter, it's too damn cold. What can I do? 

PS I just had a really long boring dream about waiting in a queue. Please help.

1.  put a fucking jumper on, you wimp.

2.  i'm sorry - you seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck.  take some hallucinogenics, then you'll either have less boring dreams, or you'll have a really bad trip and end up in a loony bin, thus preserving the rest of us from your dreary whinings.