Politics, Mature and taboo > Political Pundits
In Interviews With 122 Rapists, Student Pursues Not-So-Simple Question: Why?
Calandale:
--- Quote from: Minister of silly walks on March 27, 2018, 06:56:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: El on March 27, 2018, 05:40:34 PM ---I'm surprised the stats were that low tbh.
--- End quote ---
Considering that marital rape didn't even exist until quite recently, some women (and sometimes men) may not differentiate "rape" from "my spouse really wanted sex and I didn't, and my spouse won".
--- End quote ---
By modern standards, I technically raped my ex wife, the first time I did her in her sleep.
Probably every other LTR I had before that as well. In no case did anyone concerned think
anything wrong was happening. But, on those first times, there was no consent, beyond the
implied that we had fucked in the past and were sleeping together.
I think the scenario you represent contains more nuance though. Depending on whether the
pressure to get what is desired was reasonable (i.e. "I'll clean the garage if...").
Minister Of Silly Walks:
--- Quote from: Calandale on March 27, 2018, 10:22:12 PM ---I think the scenario you represent contains more nuance though. Depending on whether the
pressure to get what is desired was reasonable (i.e. "I'll clean the garage if...").
--- End quote ---
Of course it is nuanced. "I'll clean the garage if...." is soliciting prostitution, not rape.
Is it rape if you consent, then fall asleep during the act? I fell asleep on the job once, my girlfriend at the time freaked out a bit because she had been drugged and beaten and raped a few years earlier at college, and she had a bit of a phobia about it as a result. But if she'd just finished what she needed to do and let me sleep I don't think it would be considered rape. Lots of nuance there as well.
El:
--- Quote from: Minister of silly walks on March 27, 2018, 06:56:02 PM ---
--- Quote from: El on March 27, 2018, 05:40:34 PM ---I'm surprised the stats were that low tbh.
--- End quote ---
Considering that marital rape didn't even exist until quite recently, some women (and sometimes men) may not differentiate "rape" from "my spouse really wanted sex and I didn't, and my spouse won".
--- End quote ---
That would be why I was surprised the stats were so low- I've heard a number of female clients effectively describe being raped by their LT partners without using the word "rape," and without seeming to process it as a rape (often more as something they didn't like in the relationship, than as something they found violent or traumatic). Honestly, never really felt clear with any of them on whether they genuinely didn't experience it as an assault, or whether they didn't want to deal with the fact that their partner was assaulting them, so they compartmentalized, or didn't talk about it in those terms.
Arya Quinn:
--- Quote from: Lestat on March 26, 2018, 01:23:05 AM ---IMO the killer who reacts on adrenaline and commits a crime of passion, loses control, is going to be far more likely to be remorseful than the bugger who just doesn't give a flying fuck about others, and as far as they are concerned, what others possess is theirs if they want to take it.
As for the nonce that wanted to marry their victim, that isn't fucking remose. Bollocks it is. Thats just a pervert being a pervert.
--- End quote ---
I think it's worse than perversion. He phrased it like, at least IMO that she was "unclean" due to the rape and now she was only worthy of him. That kind of thought process requires an individual who is truly twisted.
He should never be released and I reckon we should have the death penalty for monsters like that.
But that's just me.
Calandale:
--- Quote from: El on March 28, 2018, 06:05:07 AM ---
That would be why I was surprised the stats were so low- I've heard a number of female clients effectively describe being raped by their LT partners without using the word "rape," and without seeming to process it as a rape (often more as something they didn't like in the relationship, than as something they found violent or traumatic). Honestly, never really felt clear with any of them on whether they genuinely didn't experience it as an assault, or whether they didn't want to deal with the fact that their partner was assaulting them, so they compartmentalized, or didn't talk about it in those terms.
--- End quote ---
My guess is that they didn't experience it as an assault. More a tedious task that one has to submit to at times.
Especially, if they're from my generation or earlier. I have no idea how the changing perception of rape has taken
root in society as a whole.
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