Author Topic: Questions for God  (Read 17784 times)

0 Members and 12 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Leto729

  • The God Emperor of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 14008
  • Karma: 596
  • Gender: Male
  • Shai-Hulud
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #150 on: January 15, 2007, 10:21:37 PM »
God, what is your favorite sexual position?

Abstinence. Sex would mean that humans are enjoying themselves. We can't have that now can we??

                                                                                                                                      -God
For sure.
Guardian of the Empire

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31581
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #151 on: January 16, 2007, 08:04:32 PM »

Why do you take so many of us when we aren't looking.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

ozymandias

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #152 on: January 16, 2007, 09:35:42 PM »
God, are you getting into one of your  Old Testament PMS moods again?  Remember the last time? ::)

                                                                                                                                        --Buddha

Scrapheap

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #153 on: January 16, 2007, 10:18:34 PM »

Why do you take so many of us when we aren't looking.

Because it take you and dress you up in little outfits and have tea parties with you.

                                                                                                                    -God

Scrapheap

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #154 on: January 16, 2007, 10:20:09 PM »
God, are you getting into one of your  Old Testament PMS moods again?  Remember the last time? ::)

                                                                                                                                        --Buddha

Hey Buddah,  Yeah, I've been a bit grumpy as of late, but I've decided to deal with it by making stupid one liner jokes.

  -God

ozymandias

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #155 on: January 17, 2007, 08:33:16 AM »
Yeah, thats better than flaming cities or flooding a planet.  Maybe some meditation might help.  The human race is doing enough to itself without you going all old testament on them.

                                                                                                                       --Buddha

Graelwyn

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #156 on: January 17, 2007, 09:46:38 AM »
Why do you shove me back 2 steps each time I take 1/2 a step forward?

Offline Leto729

  • The God Emperor of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 14008
  • Karma: 596
  • Gender: Male
  • Shai-Hulud
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #157 on: January 17, 2007, 09:49:24 AM »
Why do you shove me back 2 steps each time I take 1/2 a step forward?
Because they are gods that don't care. ;D
Guardian of the Empire

Offline QuirkyCarla

  • Bake Sale Coordinator of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 6998
  • Karma: 640
  • Gender: Female
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #158 on: January 19, 2007, 04:23:31 AM »
There are more than one god? Polytheism? Yay, maybe apollo really exists and I can sleep with him in exchange for prophecy. Sound like a deal, apollo?

ozymandias

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #159 on: January 19, 2007, 06:10:59 AM »
Hey Baby, you can give me a sunrise anytime!

                                                          --Apollo

Offline DirtDawg

  • Insensitive Oaf and Earthworm Whisperer
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 31581
  • Karma: 2541
  • Gender: Male
  • Last rays of the last days
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #160 on: January 19, 2007, 11:27:53 AM »
* God shakes his head and sighs*

Why did I ever let my angels find out about my humans. Humans were my game, full of love and selfless, until a few of my angels tempted them with lies. I'm going to kick every one of their asses, again ... and soon.


                                             J
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline odeon

  • Witchlet of the Aspie Elite
  • Webmaster
  • Postwhore Beyond Repair
  • *****
  • Posts: 108842
  • Karma: 4478
  • Gender: Male
  • Replacement Despot
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #161 on: January 20, 2007, 05:06:03 PM »
Hey, God, if you see your son up there, would you ask him how many times he meant us to turn the other cheek before hitting back?
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Graelwyn

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #162 on: January 20, 2007, 05:07:29 PM »
Oy God, Give Steve a nice kick up the ass and remind him that he is missing the chance of a lifetime  :laugh:

driftingblizzard

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #163 on: January 20, 2007, 05:31:20 PM »
Why did you make 80 years seem soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long, compared to eternity?

ozymandias

  • Guest
Re: Questions for God
« Reply #164 on: January 20, 2007, 07:00:10 PM »
Oy God, Give Steve a nice kick up the ass and remind him that he is missing the chance of a lifetime  :laugh:

He has not yet achieved true enlightenment! :eyebrows:

                                                                         --Buddha