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Author Topic: post really rude jokes here please  (Read 602 times)

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Offline Zippo

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post really rude jokes here please
« on: December 29, 2011, 03:04:04 AM »
ill start.

Q.) whats the fastest thing in the world? A.) a black man with your TV
Q.) whats the second fastest thing in the world? A.) his little brother with the VCR

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                                                         Zippo, Shotgun Surgeon.
if theres bees in the trap im catching them, by the thorax and abdomen. and sanding there stingers down to a rough quill. then i dip em in ink and i scribble a bit, and if the wriggle than i tickle them until they hold still, let me say it again, in my land of pretend, i use bees as a mother fucking pen!

Offline McGiver

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2012, 10:10:31 AM »
What do you call a gay Jew?


....a heblew.
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Scrapheap

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2012, 12:36:52 PM »
How does a Polish woman know when her daughter is on her period??

Because her son's dick starts to taste funny.
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Offline matthe

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2012, 03:57:06 PM »
how do you get a nun pregnant?




you fuck her!
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feix ma spellan. ai nide halp. coz i caent duet.

Offline McGiver

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2012, 04:11:01 PM »
What kind of meat does the pope eat?







Nun.
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Offline bodie

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2012, 09:22:07 PM »
My lesbian neighbours are so sweet.  They even asked me what I wanted for Christmas.  They gave me a rolex.  I think they misunderstood when I said  "I wanna watch"  :zoinks:
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eris

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2012, 09:35:28 PM »
what do you call an epileptic in a bathtub ?

a washing machine


how are women and frying pans the same ?

you have to heat them both up before you put the meat in
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Offline matthe

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2012, 12:04:45 AM »
why do women wear purfume and makeup?




cause theyre ugly and they stink
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feix ma spellan. ai nide halp. coz i caent duet.

Scrapheap

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2012, 01:59:18 AM »
Quote from: bodaccea on January 04, 2012, 09:22:07 PM
My lesbian neighbours are so sweet.  They even asked me what I wanted for Christmas.  They gave me a rolex.  I think they misunderstood when I said  "I wanna watch"  :zoinks:

:oneliner:      :lol:
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Offline McGiver

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2012, 02:37:14 PM »
A cock walks into a bar looking for tail....
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Offline Tequila

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #10 on: March 23, 2012, 07:52:42 AM »

I looked out of my window and saw a group of people gathering around a bloke who came off his motorbike, so I frantically rushed over.

"Out of the way!" I shouted, as I pushed through the crowd.

"Are you a doctor?" one woman screamed.

"No" I replied, "The cunt was delivering my pizza."
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Offline vampslord

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2012, 11:27:30 PM »
How do you fill a phone booth with 200 babies?



-With a blender!

__________________________________________

How do you clean it up without making a mess?



-With a straw!

______________________________








What does a baby in a blender give?









-An erection!
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Offline Phallacy

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #12 on: April 09, 2012, 09:20:51 AM »
Quote from: Silent Sadness on December 29, 2011, 03:04:04 AM
ill start.

Q.) whats the fastest thing in the world? A.) a black man with your TV
Q.) whats the second fastest thing in the world? A.) his little brother with the VCR

You're very wrong. The fastest thing in the world is a white meth-head with your TV and VCR. :orly:
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midlifeaspie

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #13 on: April 09, 2012, 11:35:40 AM »
Your mom
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Offline Tequila

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Re: post really rude jokes here please
« Reply #14 on: April 09, 2012, 01:20:37 PM »
My first stand up attempt was a disaster.

Mind you I was only ten months old at the time.
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