Author Topic: steadfast  (Read 957 times)

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Offline Calavera

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steadfast
« on: September 23, 2011, 06:20:51 PM »
Not sure if you're really new to this forum or if you've been here before under a different username, and I'm not sure you're just being a troll here, but I take issue with some of the posts you've made here:

First, what you said about people with autism in general:

Quote
I think the internet is great for autistic people. The ones that hate social interaction don't feel threatened and can communicate quite well in writing, like my son. The Asperger's type, which can be very annoying in person because they don't know when they are being annoying, are less annoying in writing and easier to ignore when they do say annoying things. I am thinking of my niece, who hasn't been diagnosed but I know that she has it. I am not trying to insult present company who I am sure can be very nice in their own way.

Can be nice in their own way? A nice subtle insult to autistic people you put there in that last sentence. And very annoying in person, right? Tell me, how many autistic people have you met thus far? You have one autistic son, and you have one niece who isn't even diagnosed as someone with autism. So God knows if you got this bit right. Who else? Maybe a couple more, or three, or four?

Even then, the fuck did you come up with the claim that we're all pretty annoying in person. Have you met me or any of the other autistic members here in this forum. In real life, people don't find me annoying. They may find me mysterious, quiet, cold, but never annoying. In fact, NTs have come to me at some points in time to express their frustrations at other NT people. Does this mean it's ok for me to just absent-mindedly state (as if high on some drug) that all NT people are annoying and frustrating and even lacking in empathy?

That's the first thing I take issue with you on.

The second issue:

Most of your posts thus far about negative things you have to say about your own (whether subtly negative concerning your autistic son) or expressing your hatred and lack of respect for your daughter (that one you call a pathological liar).

Some parent you are.

Ok, so she is a pathological liar and a bad mother. Fair enough, why did she end up like that? I read your posts and I see a quite a fucked up parent who has no issue talking about even her autistic son behind his back in a forum meant for autistic people. Guess what kind of parent talks shit about his/her own kids with strangers?

So could it be that your daughter's fucked up because of her own mother?

Awaiting your response ...

Offline steadfast

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2011, 07:33:12 PM »
Whoa, I didn't know this was a forum for autistic people. Stupid of me to miss that. I guess I don't really belong then.
I'm glad that people don't find you annoying, but isn't part of autism not being to read other people? So you don't really know what they are thinking, do you? I think you are being overly sensitive to my comments. The impression I got from this forum was that people insult each other for fun and the insulted people don't take it seriously. I guess new members aren't allowed this privilege.
Autism is a spectrum and a lot of individuals with a range of symptoms are thrown in together with the same diagnosis, but each person is different. I have met a few people with Asperger's but of course I don't know as much about it as someone who has actually been diagnosed with it. According to wikipedia, one of the typical symptoms is "one-sided verbosity," which my niece demonstrates, and what I was referring to as being annoying.
One of the reasons that I joined this forum is so I can talk to people while remaining anonymous. I thought the people were quirky and it looked like a fun friendly place. I don't go on the internet to argue. Out of all the forums I could have joined, I picked this one because I liked the off-the-wall comments. I thought I was making new friends. I posted the information about my daughter because I was asked. It was anonymous so it doesn't hurt anyone. Maybe it isn't even true. Don't believe everything you read on the internet. I love my daughter. I am ashamed of her choices. People turn out the way they are for many reasons, not all of which are caused by bad parenting. Do you blame your parents for your autism? Have you been a parent? One thing I learned about being a parent is that you can teach and set a good example, but in the end the child's own character is going to determine their life choices.
My son had to suffer needlessly from uninformed and misguided teachers. Maybe you had similar problems in school. Can you imagine being the parent watching your child suffer and not being able to take away the pain? I don't believe I insulted my son. The internet has been wonderful for him. The only thing you could interpret as negative was that I said he was autistic, but it is only negative if that is the way you choose to interpret it.
I did not insult you personally like you have done to me. If you feel I have done you a disservice, I am truly sorry. I don't like confrontation, in person or in writing. If this is going to be an adversarial environment, I don't want to participate.

Osensitive1

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2011, 07:38:55 PM »
Whoa, I didn't know this was a forum for autistic people.

midlifeaspie

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2011, 07:44:09 PM »
Trolls are rarely so well fed.

Offline ProfessorFarnsworth

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #4 on: September 23, 2011, 07:44:37 PM »
Existence actually has two broad meanings despite its apparent meaningless. The constant reconciliation of all its parts, and the conservation of any closed system as a whole.

Morality can be extrapolated from these meanings to make these two commandments of godless morality: 1). Be in harmony with one another and 2). Care for the environment.

Offline ProfessorFarnsworth

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2011, 07:47:24 PM »
Anyway here's my take on it, as posted before in the intro thread:

Quote
I have considered going on Jerry Springer to show my boobs. I don't see the advantage of doing it here. You don't even give Jerry beads. Also, since I have several nigger/faggot children, you must have figured out by now that I am no spring chicken. My boobs were nice in their day, but now, I don't think it is such a pretty sight.
I am not a nigger/faggot. I think the internet is great for nigger/faggot people. The ones that hate social interaction don't feel threatened and can communicate quite well in writing, like my son. The nigger/faggot's type, which can be very annoying in person because they don't know when they are being annoying, are less annoying in writing and easier to ignore when they do say annoying things. I am thinking of my niece, who hasn't accepted/come out yet but I know that she has it. I am not trying to insult present company who I am sure can be very non-niggetry/faggotry in their own way.
I have stood on my head. I can't remember standing on anyone else's, but I do remember a time when all three of my kids stood on each other's heads in the pool.

There, now with MOAR obvious discriminative overtones.  :zoinks:

But seriously, the tone of that post came off as patronizing a minority when I first read it lol.
Existence actually has two broad meanings despite its apparent meaningless. The constant reconciliation of all its parts, and the conservation of any closed system as a whole.

Morality can be extrapolated from these meanings to make these two commandments of godless morality: 1). Be in harmony with one another and 2). Care for the environment.

eris

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #6 on: September 23, 2011, 07:51:38 PM »
If this is going to be an adversarial environment, I don't want to participate.

Don't let the door hit'cha on the way out.

midlifeaspie

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #7 on: September 23, 2011, 07:52:23 PM »
If this is going to be an adversarial environment, I don't want to participate.

Don't let the door hit'cha on the way out.

She'll be back.  It's all you can eat.

eris

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2011, 07:55:40 PM »
Just in case she really honestly did not know what this place is about, I thought I would remind her of what it says on the front door.

midlifeaspie

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2011, 07:58:42 PM »
Just in case she really honestly did not know what this place is about, I thought I would remind her of what it says on the front door.

I have just a little bit of experience with trolls.  Good ones, bad ones, lazy ones.  This one has the potential to be a good one, if she was someplace like WP (from whence "she" probably came).  Here she probably won't get very far.

eris

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #10 on: September 23, 2011, 08:04:25 PM »
People turn out the way they are for many reasons, not all of which are caused by bad parenting. Do you blame your parents for your autism?

I dont think she will be back, but if so I'd like to hear the explanation for this.

How can a developmental disorder be compared to behavioral problems ? Thats like saying that your diabetes wasnt caused by bad parenting. However, disciplinary problems can be caused by bad parenting.


Right. Feeding the troll. but I really dont think she is one. I guess we will know soon enough. If she really disappears for good I guess she was for real.

midlifeaspie

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #11 on: September 23, 2011, 08:05:56 PM »
People turn out the way they are for many reasons, not all of which are caused by bad parenting. Do you blame your parents for your autism?

I dont think she will be back, but if so I'd like to hear the explanation for this.

How can a developmental disorder be compared to behavioral problems ? Thats like saying that your diabetes wasnt caused by bad parenting. However, disciplinary problems can be caused by bad parenting.


Right. Feeding the troll. but I really dont think she is one. I guess we will know soon enough. If she really disappears for good I guess she was for real.

We haven't seen the last of "her", even if it is under another name.  I got three of these a week at WP, I would really be surprised if I was that rusty already.

Offline Calavera

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #12 on: September 23, 2011, 08:53:44 PM »
Whoa, I didn't know this was a forum for autistic people. Stupid of me to miss that. I guess I don't really belong then.

Nice sarcasm, but you should have looked around and seen how many callouts here have been made from autistic and NTs to other autistic and NT members. So no, the issue isn't that you don't really belong here. The issues are what I pointed out in the original post.

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I'm glad that people don't find you annoying, but isn't part of autism not being to read other people? So you don't really know what they are thinking, do you?

First, I don't see how not being able to read other people means being annoying. You would need to explain how you made such a connection.

Secondly, no person can really know what others are thinking exactly. But some are better at judging what people are thinking than others regardless of whether NT or autistic.

Quote
I think you are being overly sensitive to my comments. The impression I got from this forum was that people insult each other for fun and the insulted people don't take it seriously. I guess new members aren't allowed this privilege.

Oh, but we've given you this privilege all you want. As a new member, you've insulted the whole autistic community by expressing how annoying autistic people can be ... and right in their faces even. And I personally take offense at you as a parent gossiping about your son and daughter with people who are really just strangers to you at this point because it reeks of you being so self-centered you just want to have the pleasure to gossip even at the expense of your own kids. Sounds like someone I personally know damn too well.

No, I'm not being overly sensitive to this. I just felt I had to call you out on what you've said that ticked me off somehow. It's you who seems quite a bit overly sensitive to what I said in the first post. If the impression you got from this forum was that people insult each other for fun, then why don't you feel fun now that you feel insulted?

Yes, we make fun of each other for fun at times, but we know when someone is insulting us or just simply teasing us. I do not think you were just teasing us with that "autistics can be very annoying" remark.

Quote
Autism is a spectrum and a lot of individuals with a range of symptoms are thrown in together with the same diagnosis, but each person is different. I have met a few people with Asperger's but of course I don't know as much about it as someone who has actually been diagnosed with it. According to wikipedia, one of the typical symptoms is "one-sided verbosity," which my niece demonstrates, and what I was referring to as being annoying.

And you automatically concluded she must be autistic. I see ...

Quote
One of the reasons that I joined this forum is so I can talk to people while remaining anonymous. I thought the people were quirky and it looked like a fun friendly place. I don't go on the internet to argue. Out of all the forums I could have joined, I picked this one because I liked the off-the-wall comments. I thought I was making new friends.

It seems you didn't realize that this forum is also a place where people call others out on their bullshit when they see one.

Maybe you should try another forum like WP.

Quote
I posted the information about my daughter because I was asked. It was anonymous so it doesn't hurt anyone. Maybe it isn't even true. Don't believe everything you read on the internet. I love my daughter. I am ashamed of her choices. People turn out the way they are for many reasons, not all of which are caused by bad parenting. Do you blame your parents for your autism? Have you been a parent? One thing I learned about being a parent is that you can teach and set a good example, but in the end the child's own character is going to determine their life choices.

This is pure rubbish talk. Autism is a genetic issue not a result of bad parenting. The case about your daughter is not necessarily purely genetic, and I doubt it is anyway. From what I've observed, most of the time, boys and girls who grow up to be messed up people within society are so exactly because of bad parenting (whether from the mother or the father or from both). What I see in your posts is you are willing to put all responsibility for your daughter being messed up on her and her alone without you taking one bit of responsibility for this as a parent. Remember, she wasn't always an adult in your life. Just some years ago, she was a kid constantly looking for support and care from her parents. As her parent, she was under your control and under your power. Correct? So there is some responsibility that should be placed on you as a parent for her personality and fucked up life. But you don't seem to accept this responsibility ... just like many other parents who end up with messed up children.

By the way, you wanted to talk about your daughter here. I don't think any of us led you to have to talk about your son and daughter in a gossipy fashion.

Quote
My son had to suffer needlessly from uninformed and misguided teachers. Maybe you had similar problems in school. Can you imagine being the parent watching your child suffer and not being able to take away the pain? I don't believe I insulted my son. The internet has been wonderful for him. The only thing you could interpret as negative was that I said he was autistic, but it is only negative if that is the way you choose to interpret it.

Yep, sure, so your son isn't among the annoying bunch that you mentioned. I wonder how I would've felt if one of my parents knew I had autism and said autistic people can be very annoying to random strangers.

Quote
I did not insult you personally like you have done to me. If you feel I have done you a disservice, I am truly sorry. I don't like confrontation, in person or in writing. If this is going to be an adversarial environment, I don't want to participate.

Did you really think this forum is just a picnic? Actually, you did personally insult not just me, but many others here. And you are insulting your kids in our presence. But no, I'm not being sensitive about this to the point that I want to leave and avoid confrontations. You are free not to reply here in this thread anymore, but don't expect people to take you easy when you say things that you should know would tick at least a few people here off.

Osensitive1

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #13 on: September 23, 2011, 11:32:59 PM »
I posted the information about my daughter because I was asked.

My teenage daughter did almost the same thing. She called the police and said she was being abused. The police came and explained to her that it is not abuse when your parents won't buy you another pair of  designer jeans.

What did you do after the police left?
How old is your granddaughter now?  Do you and your husband get to see her?
« Last Edit: September 23, 2011, 11:36:54 PM by Jack »

Offline steadfast

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Re: steadfast
« Reply #14 on: October 03, 2011, 02:35:59 AM »
You have no idea how good or bad of a parent I was. Parenting doesn't come with a manual. Every child is different. My children never stayed with a babysitter - not even once. I was there every moment of their lives except when they were at school or at friend's houses. We never went out without taking our children with us. Even though we took our son to doctors and other professionals from the time he was three, he was not diagnosed until he was 18. If you were to ask my children if they felt neglected or abused at any time during their upbringing, they would say no. I have a loving relationship with all three of my children.
I wasn't implying that autism was your parent's fault. I was trying to emphasize that my daughter's behavior was not my fault either. Making a blanket statement that parents are completely responsible for the mistakes their children make is just wrong. Until you have been a parent, you have no idea what you are talking about. Nearly all teenagers rebel against their parents. I don't know if many autistic children do this - my son didn't rebel. But for most it is part of growing up. Very few families go through the teenage years without having difficulties. Doing the exact opposite of what your parents want is part of that rebellion. The more the parent tries to control her child during this stage, the more they will rebel. Teenagers often make poor choices during this stage because they aren't mature enough to think about the consequences. They don't believe that their parents are trying to protect and help them. I wasn't easy to deal with when I was a teenager either. I don't blame my parents for that. I love my kids with all my heart and I did the best I could in raising them. All three of them are on their way to being productive members of society and all three love me back.
I would have liked to ask people on this forum for advice on dealing with certain issues regarding my autistic son, but I guess I won't because you would interpret it as talking about his back. I figured that as autistic people, you might have some insight that might help him, but never mind, I will find some parenting forum instead.
In my life I have said some things I have regretted. I regret the comment about autistics being annoying. No one is perfect. No matter how old I get, it seems that every so often I say something I shouldn't have said. The thing is I still remember the things I said at age 13 that I regret. I can't forget them and they continue to bother me.
I want to tell you about something heartless I said once, because I really didn't know it was heartless. Before I ever had children, I learned that someone at work was sad because his wife had just had a miscarriage. I said at least they have other children and they can always have another. Having never gone through pregnancy, I didn't understand how they felt.
What you said about my parenting skills was both heartless and uninformed. If you ever have children, you will understand. Maybe you won't regret your comment. You probably won't even remember you said it. But you will feel just as hurt as I do when someone says that about you.