Trig, be VERY VERY careful there. That is a bad sign. Going up like that shows tolerance is climbing. And believe you me you do NOT want a benzodiazepine physical depedency. Benzos are subtle creatures for the most part. Some, like if I use a (prescribable) one that doctors have the capability to prescribe, are not, such as nitrazepam, my favoured go-to if I need a benzo (long acting, significant affinity for those benzo (hereafter BZD) sensitive GABAa receptors featuring alpha1 and from the way it acts I presume alpha1alpha5betagamma subunits (the BZD-sensitive GABAaR is a pentamer featuring five subunits, one gamma, I THINK two betas, or else if not its a beta and three alphas, but could be 3xalpha1xbeta1xgamma. Alpha1 subunit-loving members of the BZD family are the most hypnotic and strongly sedating, as well as ataxic and along with alpha3, alpha1alpha3-subunit BZD sensitive GABAaRs are the most ataxic, anxiolytic, hypnotic and mnesticidal (think derivation from the etymological root of 'amnesia' for mnesticidal, amnesia or memory crossbred with 'pesticide', let the bastard child be born, and what do you get? mnesticide:autism:
alpha3 are involved in memory, anxiolysis, can't remember too much about alpha2 and alpha4 right now, think alpha4 is also particularly involved in anxiolytic effect, possibly also myorelaxant efficacy. I've only just woken up and put the heater on in the room containing the terminal I'm using to logon, and I'm freezing despite having a hoodie over my shirt and dressing gown on over that, still sodding cold in here, never mind a roof solid packed with insulation, soundproofing and a thick, heavy as hell door to the soundproofed portion. Just eaten breakfast, having my morning rollup. So forgive me that, I'm just revving up. Plus I had the beginnings of a seizure last night and my old man forgot to bring my meds where I could get to them and I had to chance it and go up the stairs, in order to wake him up at about 5am, go to the shed hurriedly and grab my meds because it was beginning the initial myoclonic phase. (my seizures are of an unusual/uncommon type, myoclonic-into-atonic, or occasionally vanilla myoclonic) and have him run out there in the night to grab my meds before the seizure went fullblown and the myoclonus phase would have prevented me from getting upstairs, or doing owt but crawl or fall, and the atonic phase would render me totally nonverbal and completely paralyzed yet aware of whats happening, on a confused as hell sort of level. He did get them though, and I had to stuff a nitrazepam tablet under my tongue and have it rapidly dissolve.
Anyway, CAREFUL, that level of tolerance rise has left you on the brink mate, and it WILL sneak up on you, stealthy as you like, and then grab you by the balls, twist, crush and rip them off.
A BZD dependency (physical that is) is so much worse than the severest of opioid addictions that they just are not even in the same league. Effects are more mental than anything, will terrify you something I can't even describe, and lead to seizures, talking grand mal full blown generalized tonic-clonic seizures here.
You won't notice it until it happens unless you look and look with great care. Try not dropping to zero but lowering the dose, stepwise and take a break until you are not using daily, then not using more than a few times a week. Keep a written logbook of quantity, date, time and dose.
Do NOT drop it to zero instantly, this could be dangerous. And unlike opiate dependencies which GENERALLY speaking, despite being obnoxious in extremis, cannot even come close to approaching the dust and dried shit powder trail left in the wake of a physical dependency on BZDs or most other GABA agonistic drugs. Don't even go there man, seriously do not get hit the hard way. Slow taper. Carefully. Log everything and watch it meticulously.
Xanax (alprazolam) is a short acting BZD, and can be highly addictive psychologically and worse physically. I am myself after a few weeks use, whilst will still claim for future reserves and use without needing an RX, so they are there when I wish for them or need them to be so, beginning to taper off. I wouldn't have used it last night but I had to grab the first anticonvulsant agents available from Dr.Lestat's office and his special wee bag'o'tricks since the seizure was starting, and I had not time to fuck about, first effective drug, straight away, chewed and held under the tongue so it would act as quickly as possible, I had minutes left before it kicked off as bad as however it was planning on doing.
With BZD WD, symptoms are panic attack, very very severe, possibly in severe dependencies, frank delirium tremens, psychosis, hallucinations and not of a good pleasant kind, utter, utter terror of a reptilian-brained gut-felt survival and dying level of shrieking horror, sweating, total inability to sleep, appetite loss, sweating, possibly vomiting, diarrhea, other GI issues but those are mostly an alternative card they have in the hand they are dealt to play on you. As well as the most dangerous thing, the grand mal tonic-clonic seizures.
And lest I not be clear enough already, they are stealthy. Stealthy, sneaky and malicious, BZD dependencies. Its very easy given the subtle effects of benzos as a whole to not ever realize until it has you. DON'T let it do so.
If you wish it, PM me and I will find you a copy of the Ashton manual, from a prof. and/or Dr Ashton, who wrote the bible on benzo dependencies, treating them, tapering them off, recognizing onset etc. I advise you take my offer up. It would be in computer readable format, and it will cost you nothing whatsoever. Ask and Lestat will dog. I suggest, as I said, that you take it up. I ask nothing in return. You have nothing to lose and a great deal to gain by reading it.
