the joy of IBS...
i once had a shit which was the first after several days of blockage. it was while i was living on the land, and so i was using a squat pit (exactly what it sounds like), and could view the results. i shrieked like a banshee, cos the bloody stuff would stop coming out, and was about the size of a football (UK version). i was yelling for an episiotomy, as i was sure i'd need one, or the anal equivalent. i was so excited - it really was massive.
the sad thing was, no-one would come and witness it.